Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (April 2, 2004)
aprii 2. 2004 - J l l S t O i l t 3 7 ADVICE ▼ SPIRITUALITY Metro: Spirituality Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church Sunday worship is at 10 am; church school fo r children runs concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth S t 503-284-8767 aucc@ teleport co m ) (7/04) evening worship. (503-281-3697 www tearsoup.com/m etanoia .) (7/04) Ave 503-227-2439 www stjameslutheranportlandorg.) (7/04) Metropolitan Community Church of Portland St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcom- holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng the 11 am service. (2400 NE Broadway 503-281-8868 mfoQmccportland com www mccpordand com .) 0 /0 4 ) ing all people since 1863 (1210 pm Wednesday and 745 and W arn Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave 503223-6424 )0 /0 4 ) Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers Christian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday 503-281 -07 2 2 ) (7/04) several weekly gathenngs. Everyone welcome1 (10 am Sunday, 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St. 503-2328064 www m chiren-shuorg/portland) 0 /0 4 ) Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a commu Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming Waverly Heights United Church of Christ >s nity of progressive, political people explonng and cele brating the Chnstian faith. We are sexual minonty and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children are valued members. (10:30 am Sunday. 621 NE 76th Ave 503-2580992 www bndgeportucc.org) 0 /0 4 ) congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 SE M arket St. 503 254 6380 ) ( 7/04) open and affirming with worship, children's school and child care. ( 10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St 503-238-1337 www wavedyucc.org.) (7/04) City Church Portland's "oldest gay-affirming Chnstian church," offers a spint dnven church for today's diverse generations. (10 am Sunday commu nion and worship service, 6 30 pm Sunday worship service. 3 8 3 0 SE 62ndA ve. 5 0 3 -7 7 5 -5 0 2 4 )0 /0 4 ) Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant, egalitarian, Jewish Renewal congregation m Portland Meets several times a month at Portland State University Campus Ministries. (PO Box 42187, Portland. OP 97242-0187 503-248-4500 wwwpnatorpdx.org ) (7/04) East rose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children s religious education (10:30 am Sunday 1133 NE 181st Ave . Gresham 503-665-2628 eastrose@ teleport com. www eastrose.org.) (7/04) Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming community o f Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encourages all people jn finding a place o f belonging in the family of God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am, Adult Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am. Wednesday Prayers 6-6.30 pm. (27400 SE Stark St. 5 0 3 -6 6 1 -4 5 2 0 )0 /0 4 ) First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and affirm ing liberal religious community offenng a wide range of programs to nurture spintual growth, communi ty and social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave 503-228-6389. www hrstunitahanpoitland org.) (7/0 4 ) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (G A LO ) of St Philip Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirm ing Mass fol lowed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Friday Paulist Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231 4955 ) 0 /0 4 ) Portland Center for Spiritual Growth ir; a center for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies avail able. (503-7770727 wwwportlandcenter o rg ) (7/04) Want to get hitched? ultnomah County issues marriage licenses to all couples 8 am-4:45 pm weekdays in the Marriage License Unit o f the Multno mah Building, 501 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Port land. The application fee is $60 cash or certified check. Both parties must sign any marriage license, and you do not have to be an Oregon resident to obtain a license Marriages are being performed for dona tions 9 am-4 pm Fridays at Holocene, 1001 SE Momson St Visit www.basicnghts.org for more suggested officiants (as well as up-to-the-minute info on the legality of your marriage in Oregon) Officiants may also be available at one o f the churches in the Just Out Spirituality section. A list o f Multnomah County judges is available at the marriage license unit or at www.co.m ukrK3m ah.or.us/ctxs/assessJax/jud ges pdf. The fee fo r an in-chamber appointment is $25. M a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labyrinth ( www gaylabynnth.com .) (7/04) Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon Open to all men seeking alternative spintual growth and community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave (503 2350826 ottei@ pcez com .) 0 /0 4 ) Integrity is a group of sexual m inonty Episcopalians Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support Gay M en's Labyrinth Project meets quarterly for and fnends. Various locations throughout Oregon (Bruce 503 286-9111 brucepdxor@ attbi.com. www mtegntyusa. org. ) (7/04) Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc tors from various world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second Floor, 3910 SE 11th Ave. 503-2332026. ext 3 www.m terfaithspintualcenter.com .) (7/04) Keshet Portland .s a potluck group fo r Jewish mem bers of the sexual minorities community and their part ners, spouses and supporters Its purpose is to help build bridges with the larger Jewish community M onthly social, religious and cultural events. (David or Laney 503 226 7079. ext 14.) ( 7/04) Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive, small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Eucharist at Bridgeport United Church o f Christ. A wel coming congregation. Catholic m tradition and Ecumenical m membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-6990473. www komonacommumty org.) 0 /0 4 ) Longview United Methodist Church is welcom ing and reconciling (W a rn Sunday. 2851 30th Ave 360-425 4927.) (7/04) Meta no ia Peace Community United Methodist Church is a "house church" that brings gay and straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday YOUTH , a social support group for sexual minority youth of color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for food and socuSang Regular events and activities. Flavors » a project of Love Makes aFamily's MuftiQueer program and is supported by Brother to Brother. (Knaty 5032263892. multiqueer@lmfamify o rg j (7/04) The Gey, I Wetw erh CGL8EM) fights to end anbgty bias in K-12 schools (Softs 180. 12700 SW North Dakota St. i 129. Tigard. OR 97223 503-525-1177. OfeentMsenorBgon oru. www gbenoreQon org U7/04) . _ r _ , j n of Love Makes a Farwly, pro vides advocacy to sexual minority youth Offers resources and support in the communfty and the school systems with a focus on support for queer and ques- tiorang youth of color (Kristy 503228-3892 mulhgueei@knfamilyoig) 0704) O utside In operates a cSwc for anyone who can't queiify for foe Oregon Health Plan as we* aa needle exchange aennces that include (hose who njert hor mones Can provide tnxwtwnal lousing for youth 20 and hunger as wel aa for thoae HV+ and younger than 23 Needs volunteers of a l ages. (10am6pm MondayFnday. 1132 SW 13th Ave 503635-3800 wwwoutsidemorg)U/Q4) organization for queer people, their families and fnends (PO Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607 7320 866732-5677 office@ sdakinship org www sdakmshtp o rg ) 0 /0 4 ) Siste rSp irit offers wom en's sp irituality celebra tions, discussion groups, a drum m ing circle, w ork shops and classes. Schedule o f events available All women are welcom e. (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belm ont S t M ailing address . PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207. 503-736 3297 sistersp@ teleport.com .) (7 /0 4 ) Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations Sunday school and nursery care Classes, community service activities and events for all ages and interests. (9-9 3 0 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday community worship service 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644-2073 staff@ southmmcom www southmm com .) 0 /0 4 ) St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to pin a diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (930 am Sunday 806 NE Aberta St. 5032814429.) (7/04) W y'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious community offering mtergenerational services and religious education for youth and adults. We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and nurture spiritual growth living by Unitarian Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele St. 503-777-3704 www. wyeast.pnwd uua o rg ) (7/0 4 ) Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, tx. trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ-centered, warm, canng, multiage/race/cultural faith community. ( I I am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd A v e , Gresham 503-665 8 7 4 1 ) (7/04) Central Oregon: Spirituality United Church of Christ Congregational s an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles. (9 20 am adult Sunday school. 10 30 am Sunday worship 111 E F ifth St 541 -296-2909 ucccongl@ netcnct net www form im stry.com /usorucofcucocc.) (7/04) Washington: Spirituality Abundant Life Center is A New Thought Community for spintual awakening and transforming lives through love A safe place where children learn to embody spiritual principles (10 am Sunday 10006 NE Ninth A v e . Vancouver The Rev. Kathleen Vengm 360-573-2626 )( 7/04) East Vancouver United Methodist Church is reconciling and welcoming. (10 am Sunday 5701 M acArthur Btvd 360-6934761.) (7/04) First Congregational Church United Church of Chnst, holds services in an open and affirming congre gation (10 am Sunday worship. 11.15 am adult educa tion 1220 NE 68th S t . Vancouver 360-693-1476 vanucc@aol.com.) (7/04) Metropolitan Community Church of the Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you (1 0 3 0 am and 6 30 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev Harriet Barshofsky 360-695-1480.) (7/04) Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship i Welcoming Congregation, provides a home for the liberal religious spirit (9 30 and I I 15 am Sunday 4505 E 18th S t. Vancouver 360695 1891)0/04) Willamette Valley: Spirituality First Congregational Church United Church of Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offering worship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour. 10 30 am worship 700 Marion St NE. Salem 503 363-3660 ) (T104) St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional, liturgical worship where we experience God s reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and I I am Sunday 1315 SW Park Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers Sexual Minority Youth Resource C enter (541-889-3119 o r 8662488369. eoak9eocilorg. (8M Y R Q , a program of Cascadia Behavioral Healthcare, offers support and recreation to gay, les bian. bi and trana youth 23 and younger. Offers drop« computer access, pool tables and an «formal place to hang out. Weekly support meetings includes Trami Youth Group and Hie creative group Personal Deity Proxy (4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday, 4 pm-mdnight wwweocdorg. ) (7/04) Friday and Saturday. 2100 SE Belmont $ t S03872-9664 TTY 503-23l-9286www.snrc.org.) Other programs include: Ctacfcamsa C ounty Sexual M inor ity Youth C onnection (C O SM YO provides opportunities for queer and questioning youth ages 23 and young« to get together for free, fun and supportive social actM ie* Offers one-oreone support, referrals and «formation on HfV and STD prevention and resource« for adults who work with queer and questioning youth (503-969-0060 cosmycyouih&yahoacom) fM da P ro je ct brings together Waahing ton County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly soce) events Also information, referral v r i advocacy services in Washmgton County. (Molly 503-260-5792 mo>y@pndeproiectotgJ (7/04) Queers learn the meaning of cold feet University Park United Methodist Church believes in giving to the community, canng for one another and making a difference one person at a time Come celebrate God's diversity with us! (10 am Sunday. 4775 N Lombard St. The Rev Jeanme Knepper 503 289-7843 ) (7/04) Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for Here come the brides is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual minorities community. (6 3 0 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St., Eugene ) (7/04) Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth In Vancouver, Wash. Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base ment of Ybuth House, 1112 Coiumb«) St « Vancouver (John 3606% 1325)0/04) Willamette Valley: Youth Gey, Laabfew. B i, Trenspenda r and Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, «formation and fun in Eugene Free, confide« t«l. adult facitated. (Drop in 46 pm Friday Amazon Community Center. 2700HtyerdSt 541684 3466 ) 0/04) Loahioa, Gay, Bisexual, Transponder Youth Gro up for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday m Eugene. (5 pm Kanona Center. 1414 Kincaid St 541-3461134)0/04) Eastern Oregon: Youth Belu h a « Youth is a safe, confidential support gnxf) for young gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, trans gender. questioning and fnends (68 pm Wednesday U vfag oSars'seaport and actacacy tooay. fe sta l. bi. trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon Mteha Bu4dmg. 690 State S i. Salem www salemrBinbowyouth org ) (7/04) D ear M s . B e h a v io r : My partner, Phyllis, and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. Upon hearing the news that the Massachusetts courts paved the way for same- sex marriage, Phyllis got down on hended knee and proposed. It was so romantic, 1 couldn’t refuse. We’re planning to wed in P-town in June. Here’s the problem: While it’s great that gays and lesbians can finally marry and perhaps get the legal protections that come with it, 1 think marriage is an outdated, sexist construct designed to preserve men’s property rights and subjugate wom en. Wouldn’t it he more meaningful for us to define our commitment to each other on our own terms rather than buying into some heterosexist ideal? But what do 1 tell Phyllis? She’s excited about planning a big, tradi tional, hetero-style wedding with matching dresses and a five-tier wed ding cake. Do I hurst her bubble and tell her I don’t want any part of this sugarcoated charade—or do 1 just smile and register our china pattern? — blot the Marrying Kind D ear N ot the M arrying K ind : While many queer couples are doing somersaults of joy to celebrate their impending marriages, others are secretly pulling each other’s hair out over where to marry, who to invite and what it all means. Formerly the exclusive domain of heteros, the drama that surrounds marriage is a normal part of negotiat ing any huge emotional commitment. And as trying as it may he, such nego tiations can actually make your rela tionship stronger. You and Phyllis need to discuss your fantasies about marriage— item izing the details that matter most and those that you might he willing to compromise. Maybe you can figure out which traditional parts you can stomach (perhaps the majestic wedding cake?) and which ones offend you. Phyllis can decide which traditional aspects she can do without and which ones seem particularly meaningful to her. Ultimately, you should he able to work out a happy compromise. Frankly, the only part of Phyllis’ plan Ms. Behavior finds distressing is the matching dresses. Please try to come up with a sensible alternative. D ear M s . B ehavior : 1 met these two guys last year, and we hit it off. We had a lot of fun as a group, going to parties and out to the bars. I guess you can say 1 was their “boy." Sexually, I liked one dad better than the other, and it showed. Things started to get had for my two dads, and they are no kmger together. The one I liked more wants me to be with him. I’m all for it; I love him, and he is a great guy. Here’s the had part: When they started to have problems, 1 met this guy on the Net. I knew that my two dads were breaking up and that I would he out in the cold, so I thought w'hat I was doing was OK. The guy from the Net lives way out of state. I’m thinking about moving to he with him. I really like both guys a lot. The only thing that’s not the same is the sex. Sex with one is really hot, and the other is good. What should I do? I have fallen in love with both and don’t want to hurt anyone. — Lost Boy D ear L o st B oy : Your problem isn’t which “dad” to pick, but rather that you’re lost. Quickly snagging a new boyfriend on the Internet so you wouldn’t he “out in the cold” suggests you feel anxious about being on your own. Maybe you’re afraid you can’t sus tain yourself financially or em otion ally. But if you’re living in a pan icked state, where survival feels dependent on someone taking care of you, it’s hard to decide which man to use as your anchor (or boyfriend). You need to identify and deal with your fears (i.e., through thera py) so you don’t find yourself moving cross-country every time a relation ship ends. That will soon grow te dious. Ultimately, you’ll he happier chtxising men based on mutual inter est and attraction rather than fear of being alone. Sex isn’t always the best predictor of a successful relationship. A good relationship requires chemistry, hut that doesn’t seem to he your prob lem. Hot sex seems better than good sex, hut it depends on why the hot sex is hot. If it’s because you rarely see each other or because your hook ups are surrounded by secrets or drama, the temperature may quickly drop if you live together or aren’t tit illated by the prospect of another party finding out. Ultimately, you should figure out what you can give yourself that isn’t dependent on someone else. St) go to your rixim, young man, and rake some time to sort it out. Pretend Daddy sent you, if that helps. J H © Meryl Cohn 2004 M f .RYL C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin). Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to msbehavior@aol. com.
