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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 9, 2004)
January 9.2004 * Ju st ou t 2 g he has buried four of his male partners and lost many friends to AIDS. King Co-founded the Elder Resource All iance, a group that provides information, assistance and recreational activities for sexual minority seniors. He also helped start Senior Housing and Retirement Enterprises, a non profit working to create more housing options for sexual minority seniors. King fears that his generation will he forgot ten. “None of the young people have heard of any of us, and I think that’s a sin," he says. He wishes there were more opportunities for inter- generational dialogue. He says he and his peers “have an itch to pass this knowledge on and up, hut we’re scared out of our shoes that we ll be rejected by the younger people.’’ Not only does King lament the gap between younger and older members of the sexual minorities community, he also sees gay seniors becoming distant from one another. W hen older gay men age, he notes, they tend to isolate themselves. “Seventy- vear-old men don’t call each other,” he says. He guesses that one reason for this self- inflicted isolation is that sexual minority seniors may not want others to see their physical decline. “O r because one is rich and the other is pcxrr. Or one has a boyfriend and the other doesn’t. Or one scores and the other one can ’t,” he says. King does his part to get his peers out and about. He checks in on some older gay men he knows and encourages them to attend events like Portland Gay M en’s Chorus con certs. He speaks on an Elder Resource Alliance panel and enjoys watching people like his friend Mary Beth Brindley, whom he calls “a late-bliximing flower,” take up senior causes. O ut a t L ast ome say life begins at 50. For Marv Beth Brindley, 64, and Evelyn Hall, 65, it started at 57. That was the year they left their closeted life in Texas for the lesbian- friendly environs of Portland. In 1996, after 37 years in the closet, they finally felt safe enough to come out. And come out they have. They are active members of the Fifties Plus StKial Club and the Funny Ladies Tea and Posies Society. Brindley is one of the co-founders of Old Lesbians Or- ganizing for Change, and she serves on the board of the Elder Resource Alliance. In addition to their many social and politi cal activities, the issue the couple are most pas sionate about is sexual minority senior housing. “As a lesbian woman, it you go into assisted liv ing in most places in America, you’re going to go hack in the closet,” Brindley says. This was not an option the couple wanted. When they retired, Brindley says, “We ttxik this big step and moved where we could be free lesbians.” Now they want to help make affordable housing options available to more sexual minority seniors. In 2001, they joined other seniors and senior advocates in founding Senior Housing and Retirement Enterprises. The group’s first project was to develop a needs survey, the results of which will come out in March. Brindley says the group is lixiking for a “land fairy” to donate 10 acres of land and an architect to design the facility. “Our road is uncertain,” says Brindley. “But we feel very committed to continuing it.” In the meantime, both Brindley and Hall are still giddy with their relatively newfound freedom. “She is like a bird out of a cage,” Hall says of her partner. “I can fly anywhere I want to,” Brindlev chimes in. in K a THY B elg E is a Portland free-lance writer. L egal A dvice ynthia Barrett, an attorney specializ 3. Designate a power of attorney who will ing in elder law, offers this advice to have the ability to make financial decisions on sexual minority folks as they plan for your behalf if you are unable to do so. This per getting older. son will also be able to advocate on your behalf 1. Your current support system may not be to insurance companies, medical care providers recognized by the law. You may need to create and banks. legal documents so your partner or friends can 4. Train your health care representative and have access to you and your medical and finan your power of attorney. Because no formal cial records. training is available, you will need to find other 2. Get an advance directive from a hospital people who have gone through the process to or from your doctor. This form allows you to help you. indicate what kind of end-of-life care you want 5. Get long-term care insurance. “Every per and to appoint a health care representative son that has a nonmarital relationship should who will make decisions for you if you are do this,” says Barrett, citing the risk of losing unable. Because of new governmental privacy your home if you or your partner has to go into rules, nonrelatives will be shut out of medical a care facility. information without this *brm. Barrett suggests 6. If you can afford it, hire a care manager giving a copy of your advance directive to your to arrange in-home or other care. doctor and your care representative and keep 7. Avoid legal challenges by making out ing a copy for yourself. your will when you are still in good health. C R esources N "As a lesbian woman, if you go into assisted living in most places in America, you're going to go back in the closet" —Mary Beth Brindley (right, with Evelyn Hall) • Elder Resource Alliance: A group of senior advocates and service providers commit ted to improving service delivery to sexual minority elders. ERA is sponsoring a free LG BT Senior Game Day Extravaganza from 2 to 4 p.m. Jan. 21 at Friendly House, 1727 N.W. 26th Ave. Members, friends and family of the sexual minorities community are invited to play cards and their favorite hoard games while snacking on light refreshments. 503-988-3620. • Multnomah County Help Line: A 24- hour info and crisis line. 503-988-3646. • Fifties Plus Social Club: 503-286-3575. • Funny Ladies Tea and Posey Society: A stxrial group for lesbians 35 and older. 'D a v id W . O w e n s P. C. & A S S O C I A T E S Tm . AVAILABLE, „ when 1 are! Careful and energetic handling of all \our home financing needs 6700 S\V 103th Axe.. Suite ‘J 0 0 Beaverton, O R 97005 loll Five (877) K‘2(MJ900 Fax (50.'l) ‘J 97-0824 F.-M.iil: colleemv« intgaduK ati-s.tom xwexv.intgadvc x-utes.com Colleen Weed 503 * 297*9900 Cell serving the community since 1975 A tto rn ey s at L aw Serving Oregon, Washington and Colorado MORTGAGE 4 A d v o c a t e s Office 503-760-0816 or flataps@aol.com. • Portland Metro Prime Timers: A group for mature gay men and those who appreciate them, coming together for social, educational and cultural purposes. 503-286-4613 or www.getKities.com/primetimers. • Old Lesbians Organizing for Change: A national organization for women 60 and older interested in changing the stK ia l disease of ageism. 503-286-3575. • Senior Housing and Retirement Enterprises: A nonprofit laying the ground work for future gay and lesbian senior housing in the Portland area. 503-224-8881 or www.share-pdx.org. 503 * 780 » 1561 503°224°3100 •> FAMILY LAW • Domestic Partnerships • Formation 4 Dissolution • Adoptions • Divorce 4 Visitation ❖ REAL ESTATE • Home Purchase Reviews WWW ❖ WILLS & TRUSTS • Probate 4 Trusts • Conservatorships 4 Guardianships • Advance Directives ❖ BANKRUPTCY • Advising Businesses 4 Individuals ♦ SOCIAL SECURITY -> BUSINESS FORMATION & LITIGATION • Corporations, Partnerships, LLCs 4 LLPs • Commercial Collections of large accounts •» TAX ISSUES 8 , APPEALS owens-law com • 101 S W MAIN, S U ITE 700 • Portland, Oregon 97904 • Parting Validated
