January 9.2004 * Ju st ou t 2 g
he has buried four of his male partners and lost
many friends to AIDS.
King Co-founded the Elder Resource
All iance, a group that provides information,
assistance and recreational activities for sexual
minority seniors. He also helped start Senior
Housing and Retirement Enterprises, a non
profit working to create more housing options
for sexual minority seniors.
King fears that his generation will he forgot
ten. “None of the young people have heard of
any of us, and I think that’s a sin," he says. He
wishes there were more opportunities for inter-
generational dialogue. He says he and his peers
“have an itch to pass this knowledge on and
up, hut we’re scared out of our shoes that we ll
be rejected by the younger people.’’
Not only does King lament the gap
between younger and older members of the
sexual minorities community, he also sees
gay seniors becoming distant from one
another. W hen older gay men age, he notes,
they tend to isolate themselves. “Seventy-
vear-old men don’t call each other,” he says.
He guesses that one reason for this self-
inflicted isolation is that sexual minority
seniors may not want others to see their
physical decline. “O r because one is rich and
the other is pcxrr. Or one has a boyfriend and
the other doesn’t. Or one scores and the
other one can ’t,” he says.
King does his part to get his peers out and
about. He checks in on some older gay men
he knows and encourages them to attend
events like Portland Gay M en’s Chorus con
certs. He speaks on an Elder Resource
Alliance panel and enjoys watching people
like his friend Mary Beth Brindley, whom he
calls “a late-bliximing flower,” take up senior
causes.
O ut a t L ast
ome say life begins at 50. For Marv Beth
Brindley, 64, and Evelyn Hall, 65, it
started at 57. That was the year they left
their closeted life in Texas for the lesbian-
friendly environs of Portland. In 1996, after 37
years in the closet, they finally felt safe enough
to come out.
And come out they have. They are active
members of the Fifties Plus StKial Club and the
Funny Ladies Tea and Posies Society. Brindley
is one of the co-founders of Old Lesbians Or-
ganizing for Change, and she serves on the
board of the Elder Resource Alliance.
In addition to their many social and politi
cal activities, the issue the couple are most pas
sionate about is sexual minority senior housing.
“As a lesbian woman, it you go into assisted liv
ing in most places in America, you’re going to
go hack in the closet,” Brindley says. This was
not an option the couple wanted. When they
retired, Brindley says, “We ttxik this big step
and moved where we could be free lesbians.”
Now they want to help make affordable
housing options available to more sexual
minority seniors. In 2001, they joined other
seniors and senior advocates in founding
Senior Housing and Retirement Enterprises.
The group’s first project was to develop a needs
survey, the results of which will come out in
March. Brindley says the group is lixiking for a
“land fairy” to donate 10 acres of land and an
architect to design the facility.
“Our road is uncertain,” says Brindley. “But
we feel very committed to continuing it.”
In the meantime, both Brindley and Hall
are still giddy with their relatively newfound
freedom.
“She is like a bird out of a cage,” Hall says
of her partner.
“I can fly anywhere I want to,” Brindlev
chimes in.
in
K a THY B elg E is a Portland free-lance writer.
L egal A dvice
ynthia Barrett, an attorney specializ
3. Designate a power of attorney who will
ing in elder law, offers this advice to
have the ability to make financial decisions on
sexual minority folks as they plan for
your behalf if you are unable to do so. This per
getting older.
son will also be able to advocate on your behalf
1.
Your current support system may not be to insurance companies, medical care providers
recognized by the law. You may need to create
and banks.
legal documents so your partner or friends can
4. Train your health care representative and
have access to you and your medical and finan
your power of attorney. Because no formal
cial records.
training is available, you will need to find other
2.
Get an advance directive from a hospital people who have gone through the process to
or from your doctor. This form allows you to
help you.
indicate what kind of end-of-life care you want
5. Get long-term care insurance. “Every per
and to appoint a health care representative
son that has a nonmarital relationship should
who will make decisions for you if you are
do this,” says Barrett, citing the risk of losing
unable. Because of new governmental privacy
your home if you or your partner has to go into
rules, nonrelatives will be shut out of medical
a care facility.
information without this *brm. Barrett suggests
6. If you can afford it, hire a care manager
giving a copy of your advance directive to your
to arrange in-home or other care.
doctor and your care representative and keep
7. Avoid legal challenges by making out
ing a copy for yourself.
your will when you are still in good health.
C
R esources
N
"As a lesbian woman, if you go into
assisted living in most places in America,
you're going to go back in the closet"
—Mary Beth Brindley (right, with Evelyn Hall)
• Elder Resource Alliance: A group of
senior advocates and service providers commit
ted to improving service delivery to sexual
minority elders. ERA is sponsoring a free
LG BT Senior Game Day Extravaganza from 2
to 4 p.m. Jan. 21 at Friendly House, 1727 N.W.
26th Ave. Members, friends and family of the
sexual minorities community are invited to
play cards and their favorite hoard games while
snacking on light refreshments. 503-988-3620.
• Multnomah County Help Line: A 24-
hour info and crisis line. 503-988-3646.
• Fifties Plus Social Club: 503-286-3575.
• Funny Ladies Tea and Posey Society:
A stxrial group for lesbians 35 and older.
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• Portland Metro Prime Timers: A group
for mature gay men and those who appreciate
them, coming together for social, educational
and cultural purposes. 503-286-4613 or
www.getKities.com/primetimers.
• Old Lesbians Organizing for Change:
A national organization for women 60 and
older interested in changing the stK ia l disease
of ageism. 503-286-3575.
• Senior Housing and Retirement
Enterprises: A nonprofit laying the ground
work for future gay and lesbian senior housing
in the Portland area. 503-224-8881 or
www.share-pdx.org.
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