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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 5, 2003)
24 [ | « f 1 ilrmtir* — f_________________________________________________ Breaking the binary barrier Continued from Page 23 at bisexuals and think, ‘I couldn't date him ...he will just end up leaving me tor a woman.’ (But) it’s just as likely that he will leave you tor anoth er man. Gender is irrelevant. It the relationship isn’t strong, it won’t lx- bisexuality that causes its undoing." Myth: Bisexuals suffer from homophobia and in k o f solidarity with gays and lesbians. “Some gays and lesbians seem to believe that bisexuals are hiding behind that label to avoid the risks and pressures ot being gay or lesbian. There is a certain level ot cultural acceptance for bisexuals...more so with women,” notes Dillinger. "Gays and lesbians sometimes harbor some resentment toward bisexuals...because they feel like bisexuals won’t join them in soli darity in the gay rights movement." The madness ays and lesbians have blamed bisexuals for everything from the failure of monogamy to the A ID S epidemic,” says Williams. "W e’ve been called liars and indecisive and non ex isten t...! mean, look at (Hollywood actressj A nne Heche. She tell in love with a man and the gay media made her out to be a fame-grubbing, two- faced, manipulative poser. W hat about the possibility that, after a great, lov ing relationship with |lesbian com edi an Ellen DeGeneres|, their relationship tell apart and she tell in love with someone else? Would she have been so demonized in the press it she had fallen for another woman? I don’t think so.” But mention Heche’s name in certain circles, and sharp words would be flying and chairs could he broken. Deb France, a lesbian architect win) is not only in a committed relationship with a bisexual woman, but who also worked through her own homosexual identity during a long marriage, points the finger at people like Heche for misconceptions ot bisexuals. “I blame those like Anne Heche, the bitch!” France exclaims. “Seriously, when do we know it our partner is really on hoard with our sexual identity or if they are simply following the flavor of the day? Is sex like Bask in-Robbins’ 31 fla vors? There seems to lx* a need for some clarity.” But 31 flavors sound gtxxl to Williams. “One’s inherent sexuality is a subconscious weaving of one’s fantasy, biology, psychology and sometimes merely one’s changing fancy or the flavor ot the day," he says. "There are so many more flavors to ice cream than vanilla and chixolate. There are hundreds of colors in the rainbow. There are a myriad different ways people are sexual.” uWhen do we know i f our partner Is rea lly on board with our sexual identity or i f they are simply following the flavor o f the day?" —Deb France Dillinger remarks, "It is a strange sociological phenomenon when an oppressed group will turn around and oppress another group.” He attributes the action to inherent human need for power and control. “If a person is lx mg oppressed as a minor ity, he or she will often find a way to find that control and power by oppressing someone else,” he says. As a bisexual, James senses differ ent vibes from differ ent subsets of the les bian community. In addition to feeling threatened, older dykes— those who have fought harder than she has to openly proclaim their sexuality— are jealous about what is taken for granted today. She says, “They don’t seem to want those bisex ual impostors rid ing on the coat tails of that hard- won privilege.” Branden the orizes: “Discrim ination affords an oppressed group of peo ple— in this case gays and les bians— to have an expendable sacri ficial group during the fight for equali Scott Dillinger is a gay social worker and therapist at Oregon Health & ty. Every march to Science University Call today for a free qualification over the phone Forgot the Condom? Let’s Talk About It. RE/MAX S ignature P r o per ties ! First Time Buyers • FHA/VA Loans Self-Employed ♦ Complicated Borrowers Bankruptcies & Foreclosures ♦ Credit Problems Investment Properties • Pre-approvals 100% Financing Programs “ When u)e learned the landlord was selling our house, we called Christine in a panic. Being self employed, we thought it might he impossible to buy, but Christine came to the rescue. 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