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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (July 21, 2000)
COMMENTARY BV M arty D avis The IN publication for the OUT population F ounded 1 9 8 3 • J ay B rown Voi. 1 7 No. and R enee L a C hance 1 8 July 2 1 , 2000 FEATURE STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT: The ins and outs Mothers, mourning and Mena Revelations and realizations from the publisher of public sex p 21 NEWS NORTHWEST • Youths turn the table; OPB breaks a promise; county OKs domestic partnership registry; AIDS efforts refocused; anti-OCA campaign launched; Sister Paula praises Portland pp 7 - 1 5 NATIONAL • Louisiana Supreme Court upholds 195-year-old sodomy law; New York governor signs new hate crimes law p IT WORLD • Azerbaijan legalizes gay male sex; pride parade horrifies Vatican p 18 ENTERTAINMENT & CULTU RE F ILM * Three new movies with queer content pp 3 3 - 3 4 ROOKS • Something for the bi-curious— his and hers p 35 A R T . Portland Art Museum wants to entertain you P 37 THEATER • The cake man cometh p 38 M USIC* Katy spins four strong CDs p 39 spent a week with her; we left for our homes on Saturday, she died on s I start to write the words for this column, my concen Monday. As I write this I start to say I was not close to my mother, but tration is hampered by an incredible and nearly over that’s not accurate. The truth is that my mother and I together were not whelming pain in my right arm. I’m sitting here waiting close. The relationship, or lack thereof, involved both of us, it was not to hear back from a doctor, I’m wondering if I should just about me. I am not at fault, 1 am not to blame. Prior to my moth have someone take me to the emergency room, the pain er’s death, 1 knew I would not feel deep grief or loss; I was concerned, is intense to the nearly intolerable level. however, that I would feel guilt over not feeling the seemingly required Yet even while using such dramatic words I can remain coolly calm about th is.... It is, after all, my right arm, not my left, and I know it’s grief and loss. I worried about how this would happen; how great would be the burden of guilt, what would it feel like, how would I cope, when not a heart-related condition. As much as I hate to admit it, 1 realize would it end? Now I realize that that I’m about to be taken down by this is not going to happen either. the physical side effects of major overload and stress on my emotion Prior io mother's death, I knew I would not There is no cause for guilt. There is no burden to bear. 1 understand the al being. T h e muscles in my neck feel deep g rie f or loss; I was concerned, circumstances of my relationship and shoulders have simply gone rigid with my mother. I understand the and taut, and the effects of this however, that I would feel guilt over not feeling reality, even while others might shoot down my arm and into my not. It is not for others to judge. jerking, shaky, gray fingers. Ex the seemingly required g rie f an d loss. All mother-daughter relation cruciating pain caused by the simple ships are not created equal. There act of tensing muscles. Wow, there are as many diverse dynamics and circumstances as there are stars in the go any and all butch points that I may have accumulated in the last few sky. My mother was 18 when I was bom. T h a t’s very young to become months. I’m letting my staff chase down doctors for me as I admit that a mother, both then and now. I don’t know all the whys of what hap I’m fighting a losing battle. As much as I want to reason the actuality pened during those early years of my childhood, but 1 know it was my o f the situation away, as much as I want to use logic to make the pain grandmother who loved me, raised me, nurtured me and cherished me vanish, my body is refusing to cooperate. “Deal with me now,” the more than any other person ever has. It is her death and her loss that I sharp, pointed spasms of pain demand. still mourn and grieve. More than 35 years have passed since her death, T h e assault on my tense and tight muscles comes from many fronts. but I still cannot speak or think of her without tears. Indeed, I did have Having to accept the failure of a once-promising relationship can be a close, loving relationship with a mothering figure; but, no, it was not externally trivialized, but internally the damage is far greater. The feel with the woman who gave birth to me. ings of loss and anger, and even those of the more trivial annoyance, My mother left myself, my brother and sister in death on July 3. In contribute greatly to my lack of well-being. This was not the way things life, she left us many, many years earlier. were supposed to turn out. I’m not where I thought I would be. I will not close this with an evangelical plea to cherish your moth T h e death of my mother last week created a set of circumstances ers while they’re alive. However, I am going to become uncharacteristi that brought about not the traditional grief and bereavement but cally wann and fuzzy, albeit just for a moment. For more than 30 years instead even more anger, intense frustration, legal impotence and near I’ve had the best-ever of best friends, my friend Mona. W hen you’ve got arrest in Curry County. The muscles grow tighter— can they actually go a friend who stays put even as the sheriff drives up, you know you’ve got so tight as to crack and break? I fear that I’m about to find out. a friend! Thanks, Mona, for all the help and for always being there. My mother’s death was expected, yet unexpected. My brother and I my DIVERSIONS * Ladies gather; divas dish; mmmm Richard bares all p 41 COLUMNS MS. BEHAVIOR • Call the dogs off • The Colorado newspaper Our Front reported May 31 that the Adolph Coors Co. joined the ranks of corporations offering domestic partner benefits to same-sex couples. p 31 MY QUEER LIF E * Buy the books! P 43 • T h e Employment Non-Discrimination A ct was reintroduced in Congress in June, with 10 more co-sponsors than when it was introduced in the previous session. The legislation sought to prohibit job dis crimination based on sexual orientation. Conspicuously absent from the list of sup porters were Sen. Mark Hatfield and Reps. Jim Bunn and Wes Cooley. just out ia published on the first and third Friday of each month. Gipyrifjht © 2000 by Just Out. No pnrt of Just Our m;iy he reproduced without written per mission from the publisher. The submission of written and graphic materials is welcomed. Written material should he typed and double-spaced. Just Out reserves the ri^ht to edit for grammar, punctuation, style, liability concerns and length. We will reject or edit articles or advertisements that are offensive, demeaning or may result in legal action. Letters to the editor should be limited to 500 words. Announcements regarding life transitions (births, deaths, unions, etc.) should be limited to 200 words; photos are wel come. Deadline for submissions to the editorial department and for the Calendar is the Thursday 15 days before the next publication date. Views expressed in letters to the editor, columns and features are not necessarily those of the publisher. The display advertising deadline is the Monday 12 days before the next publication date. Classified ads must be received at the Just Out office by 4 p.m. on the Thursday eight days before the next publi cation date, along with payment. Ads may he placed by tele phone or via the Internet with Visa or MasterCard payment. Ad policy: just Out reserves the right to reject or edit any advertisement. Compensation for emirs in, or cancella tion of, advertising will be made with credit toward future advertising. Advertising rates are available upon request. Subscriptions arc $17.50 for 12 issues. First Class (in an envelope) is $30 for 12 issues. Contact Just Out at P.O. Box 14400, Portland, OR 97293- 0400; (503) 236-1252, advertising 236-1253, fax 236-1257; e-mail justout@justout.com. Visit our Internet site at www.justout.com. • Oui invaded cyberspace. In June, the magazine launched CXit.com, the first commercially sponsored queer site on the Internet. PUBLISHER AND MANAGING EDITOR • Marty Davis ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Oriana Green COPY EDITORI • Christopher D. Cuttone, Andy Mangels, Christopher McQuain, Glenn Williams, Rex Wockner S W F REPORTERS • Katy Davidson, ADVERTISING DIRECTOR • Meg Grace ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE • Larry Lewis NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE • Rivendell Jonathan Kipp Marketing Company Inc. (212) 242-6863 CRNTRIRUTRRS • Marc Acito, Kristine Chatwood, PRODUCTION DIRECTOR • Christopher D. Cuttone ART DIRECTOR • Rupert Kinnard Jim Radosta Meg Daly, Michael Thomas Ford, • Kent, Wash., was the site for the North American Gay Amateur A thletic Association’s C atch the Spirit World Series. About 4,000 gay and lesbian softball players were expected to pump more than $4 mil lion into the local economy. • Community activist and arts advocate W illiam R. Jamison Jr. died June 21 of AIDS-related illnesses. He was 49. • Portland resident Barry Pack was named executive director o f Right to Privacy, an Oregon gay and lesbian political organization. • Don Horn’s Triangle Productions was a big winner at the Drammys on June 19. Falsettos captured the top two awards for a musical production. PRODUCTION MASTER • Kevin Moore PRODUCTION ASSISTANT • Melissa Sayler OFFICE M ANAG» • Melissa Sayler MSnURUTIRN »Jerilyn Adams, Michael Albright, Kathy Bethel, Jody Boyer, Jennifer Davidson, Merid Schwartz, Ruth Traut, Larry Williams
