Image provided by: Friends of Jacksonville's Historic Cemetery; Jacksonville, OR
About Jacksonville post. (Jacksonville, Or.) 1906-19?? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 2, 1907)
JACKSONVILLE POST VOL. 1 JACKSONVILLE, JACKSON COUNTY, OREGON, NOVEMBER 2, 1907 Jacksonville Post P ublished A t J acksonvile , O re gon , F or S eventeen R easons A nd H ollering A ll T he T ime F or I ts T own ,I ts C ounty and I ts S tate I ndependent O f E verything B ut W ealth A nd T axes . The Post Publishing Co. Mile» Overholt, Editor & Manager S ubscription P rice $1.50 A Y ear I n T he U nited S tates , C anada A nd Y amhill C ounty , O regon I ssued E very S aturday W hether Y ou L ike I t O r N ot . W hen C onvenient S ubscriptions S hould B e P aid I n M oney ; O ther wise M ortgages , M ines A nd M ules W ill B e A ccepted Financial Panic This financial panic is no joke. The only amusing feature connected wi.h the various bank failures over the coun try is the many pessimistic predictions that have recently been turned loose to roam where they may. There are three or four pessimists in this latitude that can outdistance and over-ride any ten grouch distributors between the aurora borealis and the judgment day, who have been in their glory duiing the past ten days spreading the gospel of hard times, high prices and halleujah. Various and manifold are the dire tl i lgs in store for us poor worms of the dust, among the worst being a hard Winter, no socks, old clothes, earthquakes, cy clones, blizzards, distemper, lagrippe, floods, fire, rheumatism, heart burn, destruction, liver and onions and cold meat! One man only yesterday told me with all the frankne: s he had with him at the time that unless the president called out the cavalry ai d the navy and police force and the constable without a mo ment’s delay there would be a war fierce and t rrible. He said he had predicted all along that something was going to happen soon just from the way the grassh oppers were laying in their winter supply of hickory nuts and watermelons and peaches and cream. Now, whenever, anything occurs in the community not particularly favor able to the people in gen ra', a cry that can be heard from Mt. Shasta to pay day is sent up laying the whole busi ness on the alleged panic that is fast coming west warn with gaping mouth and dripping jaws mad with tile lust ot ruin. Some people are afraid to retire at night for fear the panic will sneak in on them while they are asleep and gather them to its unblushing bosom, and swipe their pianos and .4 pie butter and reputations and ear lings .n d other things of value lying around the house. It just seems as if there is no use trying to be happy now-a-dav» Subject of Ratu The rat question is becom ng a ser ious one in Portland. The city he- 1th officer has instructed everybody cwning and abetting rats to stoot then» on sight without a watrant or an order from headquarters. They have looked in vain for seme man who had been pied to come forth and hit the pipe a few times, but the Pied Piper is rather backward about coming forward. Rats have but very few friends. Out side of Chinamen and cats, with whom they occasionally meet in social inter course, they are entirely friendless. And it is mainly the fault of the rats themselves that they are social out casts. They have such mean little ways about them that don’t make much of a hit with people. They are almost as much despised as a Jap. None but a rat would think of carry ing around seven or eight gallons of bu bonic plague with them unless they just naturally wanted to be ornery and hateful. Even a Jap wouldn’t do that. About all he fosters that is particularly dangerous is his disposition, and it is not contagious. And the worst part about a rat with its bubonic plague is that it is more dangerous after its death than before. There is where the rat has the Jap or even an Indian beat en to a pulp for meaness. According to the latest figures obtainaple a Jap is a perfect gentleiuur' after he is dead. Then a rat will fall into a cistern and contaminate the water, something a Jap or an Indian has never been known to do. Yes. it is better for the rats and all concerned that they take a long, linger ing look and get off the earth. Wasp Information We have been informed by a Port land newspaper that the male wasp does not sting. This is something I have been trying to find out for the last fifteen years. 1 have experiment ed with the festive wasp at all stages of the game, but was under the im pression that each and every member of the wasp family carried a stinger in his pistol pocket always loaded and ready for instant action. A wasp can sit down harder on a fellow than any thing yet placed in circulation. Once 1 chased a wasp out of his —or her—nest and it immediately climbed upon me, and walked around for a couple of hours, making tracks as large as a bale of hay, and finally sat down on the north-east corner f my face * th.nk it over. After running for about four teen miles, I stopped and pried it loose with a fence rail and then killed it with a ra Iroad tie. But it stung the tie so often and so feverishly that it caught on fire. The news that lady wasps are the only members of the famiiy that carry con cealed weapons will be received with grea joy and thanksgiving throughout the civilized world. I always thought that a male wasp was too much of a gentleman to sneak up and stab a man without giving him a fighting chance, and now that the question has been definitely settled a feeling of great peace has entered mv soul. About Eggs NO. 22 have seen eggs who in their youth I open the pot of life on a bob-tail flush. would never take a drink or play bil The blacksmith chews tobacco, spits liards or shake dice or anything bad, through his teeth, and has a lot of fun. but as soon as they were left alone for The jokesmith has to Keep his teeth a short time they would get restless clean so he can mingle in society and and feverish and it would be but a prospect for Alphonse and father-in-law short time until they were in fast com jokes. The blacksmith has a sturdy pany and were associating with bad ac | nature and a strong arm. If the joke tors and raising all kinds of disturb smith has a strong arm it costs him ances. I have seen men leave the table fifty to square it with the justice of the where these bad eggs were holding peace. When the blacksmith dies he forth just because they didn’t want to will go to heaven, but when the be seen in their company. A good egg jokesmith dies he never will get by is almost an emblem of our glorious St. Peter untill he has explained some country, but a bad one is a curse. At of the ribald jokes he has written about least the bad ones get cursed. Cold that worthy gentleman. Taking it all storage eggs are more deliberate and i in all, the jokes nith is of small red pep- conservative than the young eggs, who I pers and few on a stock, but the bloo sometimes get too fresh. But a fresh of the blackcmith is full of iron an I egg very seldom mingles with the low- I corpuscular activity. When the latte • class of people that the older ones gets dies, the town lodges will weep scalding chummv with and their faults can be tears upon his memory and strew the easily overlooked. The only trouble in short-cut paths to the cemetary with overlooking a fresh egg s faults is the daisies and myrtle and pale pink posies. large and plenteous absence of the egg I When the jokesmith dies the village these egg trust and pank days. sexton will laboriously pull at the lagg ing bell, and the village strategy board meeting in the park, will piously re mark, “well there’s the end of a bad The d?a of carrying a revolver has joke!” caused some sudden and entirely unex pected deaths in Portland and other places recently, which gives rise to the A bran new baby comet has been whyfore of pistol pulling. The six- born and is coming this way, say the shooter route is a bad one to travel and eventually leads a man to the place astronomers. About the Sth of Nov w here he must state his case or get off ember it will be within hailing distance the stump. A man who agitates and or 35,(X) 1 m les away. Ast'- >n >my is a great nerve tonic. irritates a nervous pistol is on the downward road to the penitentia y and Many a dark, starless night have I gone perdition. He will either send some out into the fastness of the mounts rs body to his last long home without a and watched the playful little comets A rec< mmer.dation from his last employ as they gambole 1 through space. I am er, or he will run against the ragged good deal like I am doing now. e id of death and destruction through ruining forever valu ible space that would make some men famous. t..e s ime gate. Bu one thirg that is s idly keking A man will struggle along for years tr; ing to make a name for himself on among the people of this great a country newspaper as the village cut nation is the know lege of the planetary- u 1 and a scholar and a gentleman, and system. Probably there are not seven the public forgets to give him any men in this county who would know a thought until after he is dead, but a comet from an egg omelette without fellow with a six-shooter can spring in the directions were on the wrapper and to prominence within twenty-four hours the name blown in the bottle. The by puncturing some respected fellow astronomers say this new comet is lo cnizen, and the widow of the victim cated between the stars Proeyon and cannot even collect the life insurance. Aldebaran. Now, you can readily see All of which causes a great many peo where y.,u stand on the star question. ple to tjpeome somewhat skeptical about You don’t know where to look. There are only a few of us that know. I am the location of hell. acquainted with a great number of stars, including Lillian Russel and Maude Adans. By B. W. A blacksn i h strikes the iron while it I is hot. A jokesmith strikes the editor while he is cool and dodges if that A newly arrived Swede girl entered a worthy becomes hot forthwith. A drug store in Jacksonville recently and. blacksmith is sure of his wages, but sidling up to the clerk and blushing with a jokesmith this is more or less painfully, said she wanted some tal guess work. The blacksmith makes cum powder. “What kind,” queried the sparks fly and the jokesmith makes the clerk, “Mennen’s?” “Na, ” whis the blues -sometimes. The jokesmith pered the girl, “Vimmen’s!” goes to school for twenty years to By paying the monthly toll rental become a jokesmith. The blacksmith most any man can leave his name to doesn’t kn^w a Greek letter from a saw- posterity on the pages of the tele buck, and yet he gives the jokesmith phone directory. pointers on how to get on in the world. A report comes from Servia that the The blacksmith blows his bellows and King is in need of money. Egad! the jokesmith toots his horn, but the doesn’t that make you fee) like a mon people don't pay any atentation, unless arch? they feel curious. ’’Back home” they It is questionable if there is a man in call the blacksmith an honest, hard working citizen, but they wonder if the the moon, but nobody has ever ques jokesmith isn't a blamed fool, after all. tioned there being a man in the honey Sometimes the jokesmith is half inclined moon. Six-Shooter Idiots The New Comet Two Smiths Tanglefoot It is said that there are 330,000,000 eggs in cold storage in Chicago and that a smash up of the egg trust is likely. Journal. It is hoped that the eggs will not I® smashed when the smash up occurs. Eggs, when they are bilious and colicky and not feeling well generally, ore not fit Companions for decent peo ple. An egg that has been left to wor Many rich men meet conscience half ry along by itself and has no one to to agree with them. The blacksmith give it proper training will go to the h is hard and homy hands; the joke way by leaving their money to chari bad quicker than a Piute Indian. I smith has a hard hand, too he can’t ties.