Jacksonville post., October 05, 1907, Image 1

JACKSONVILLE POST
VOL. 1
JACKSONVILLE. JACKSON COUNTY, OREGON, OCTOBBER 5, 1907
NO. 18
1 cannon. There is no sense in wasting transom open and came to his rescue. ' durned near it, anyway. It has been
good ammunition. Biscuits are deceit­ We shudder to think what would have only a short time since *he hero busi­
ful things at best. Taik the wife into happened if the Mayor hail been all ness was a dead one. Stock was sell­
P ublished A t J acksonvile , O re ­ making them square instead of round alone in the building when the lady ing for almost nothing and many large
gon , F or S eventeen R easons A nd
and you can then build a nice paved called. It is getting to be almost un­ hero concerns were going out of busi­
H ollering A ll T he T ime F or I ts sidewalk out to the hog pen. Patience safe for a helpless and refined man to ness, but, like a good fairy, Andrew
T own , I ts C ounts and I ts S tate is a great thing to try on a wife. When remain anywhere alone. There is no came to the rescue with prize package
I ndependent O f E verything B ut she goes visiting and leaves some cold telling what minute a desperate and offerings of hero medals until from a
W ealth A nd T axes .
victuals on the table for home consump­ villainous woman may suddenly appear little obscure cross roads business it
tion, and fails to return for two or from behind the whatnot and demand has leaped into prominent circles. Even
The Post Publishing Co. three days, don’t shoot her when she his life’s blood, or a d 'nation, or some­ our esteemed vice president has enter­
returns. That will only make her an­ thing. Right here in Jacksonville the ed into the hero business with gusto, or
Mile» Overholt. Editor & Manager
gry and rebellious, and cause her to other day the writer of this was com­ words to that effect. Perhaps her name
S ubscription P rice $1.50 A Y ear
“kick thr bucket.”
pelled to remain cramped up in the wasn’t Gusto; it may have been Sally.
I n T he U nited S tates , C anada
We have prepared several little book­ clothes closet three hours in order to It doesn't change the stiry enough to
A nd Y amhill C ounty . O regon lets full to the brim with all kinds of avoid a vicious looking female who hurt. And Andy's libraries! Why, in
I ssued E very S aturday W hether advice for young and old which will be carried a deadly lead pencil and sub­ some communities Cimeg e’s libraries
furnished free with twenty-five yearly scription book, and, who with the cun­ are a by word —almost a cuss word!
Y ou L ike I t O r N ot .
subscribtions to this paper.
ning and daring of a Robin Hood, When Andy arises a little late some
W hen C onvenient S ubscriptions
lurked in the doorway awaiting the ap- morning and his liver pad hasn’t been
S hould B e P aid I n M oney ; O ther ­
| pearance of her innocent victim. Young working right and the cook burned the
wise M ortgages ,
M ines A nd Excuse Me
M ules W ill B e A ccepted
There are a couple of words in the man be warned in time! Even now toast and his breakfast generally is on
English language that ought to be taken some designing female may be concoct­ the blink, he rings for his secretary
out and soaked in gasoline and polished ing a dastardly scheme to pull your leg and vents his wrath by issuing a
up and greased. These two words for a dollar and a quarter, or to blast library to some inoffensive hamlet, that
Care of Wives
have probably saved more lives than all your sweet, young life by suing you has'nt enough money to keep a dog
One thousand and two marriageable the fire departments between here and for breach of promise. Never, never catcher in affluence for any length of
and be-ribboned girls came into port the Judgment day, and have smoothed walk upon the street after dark with­ time.
from Europe yesterday on the White over more rough places in the lives of out being accompanied by your parents
Star liner Baltic looking for good hus­ humanity than all the undertakers in and a life insurance policy.
Poor Little Hill
bands, believing that there are one the land. These overworked words are
The little one was laid away.
thousand and two such in this country "Excuse me.” Has it ever been your Sad Thoughts
Its prattling voice was still,
who want wives that are loving, pretty pleasure to walk along a crowded Springs in our hearts like a lover’s song.
Its little toys are lying there
and gcod cooks. Few of them care thoroughfare on a rainy day and to hang
As ’round the hearth we linger long, Upon the window sill.
about staying in this city and they are your best eye over the point of some­ Our tired brain by breezes fanned.
And now an air of stillness reigns
going North, West and South into the body’s umbrella? The fellow with the
As tho’ gently wafted by scepterd O’er all, the night seems chill,
•country “where men appreciate umbrella said, "Excuse me,” didn’the?
hand.
Perhaps the angels hovered 'round
wives’’ —as one of them. Miss Susan Wouldn’t it have been hard on that jasper We cast our shades of doubt and care,
The form of little Bill.
Thompson, said From a New York dis­ if he had merely laughed! You have
Shadows of sorrow and despair.
But hark! there comes a mighty yell,
patch.
been one of the unfortunate ones who Seeing the gleam of Hope’s bright star
Just as a thousand and two of us old have been walked on in the ball room, I Shining with love from its home afar. A sob or two, and then.
The music starts in as before.
bald-headed, spavined, tobacc-chewing haven'tyou? Remember when that little We bare our heads, as we stand aloof,
For Bill’s awake again.
bachelors were about to give up in de­ black-haired girl, the one with the sau­
And wonder what they will do with
spair, here come a thousand and two cy, pouting lips, stepped on your corns?
Ruef.
want-to-be-married females and offer She said, “Excuse me,” didn’t she?! We "read” again the "unwi itten” law. Tanglefoot
themselves as wives. A woman cer­
A hobo called at the Post office for a
Do you recollect when that big fellow
And murmur, "What will they do
tainly "moves in a mysterious way her ran against you one evening and knock-1
handout this week. He was fhe long­
with Thaw!”
wonders to perform.”
ed your packages in the street? You The coming election will drive us daft, est man we ever saw, and his name
A good wife, one that understands wanted to kick him, you remember, | Fur what in the world will they do was Longer Charles W. He was so
laundry work and wood sawing, is a until he grinned and said, “Excuse
slim it paintd him to swallow, the food
with Taft?
very handy thing to have around the me.”
And as we linger around the hearth, scratching his backbone. He said he
house and should be treated as though
“Excuse me” is very, very cheap,
Our thoughts at length return to earth. hadn't eaten anything fot so long he
they were appreciated. While I have most anybody can have a stock on hand And, as we study about the muss, had fogotten which side of his face his
never been married to amount to any­ without affecting the market. But
mouth was on. Said the last time he
Decide we do not care a cuss.
thing, I am a close observer and can they certainly do take off the sting.
had a square meal was on the Fourth
furnish some very valuable advice with­
The above should be soaked in warm of Joly, when he ate a dozen raw fire
out hurting myself much. For instance, Anna Gould, &c.
water over n ght and fed with a spoon crackers. Now whenever he gets hun­
1 would suggest that as a wife, so far
Anna
Gould,
divorced
wife
of
Count
for a few days in older to get the best gry he just drops a match down his
as scientists have been able to discover,
throat and he gets filled up right away.
is a human being, in chastising them, a Boni deCastellane, is said to be engaged results. Just now it is slightly under He had only one leg, and he was on his
to
Prince
Helie
de
Sagan.
Of
course
the
weather
owing
to
its
meter
becom
­
hoe handle should be dispensed with.
way to California where, he said, he
This is not only out of date, but hoe it is none of my darn business, but Anna ing mixed up with its feet. We only had heard of things growing a foot in
handles carry germs and you might ought not to m ike a practice of buying recently had a new meter placed in our a day.
catch something. Three or four strands up these second-hand titles. She ought poetry department and it isn’t working
of telephone wire is much eaisier han­ to patronize home industry. ’Tis true just right. Anyhow, you can’t expect
It is saitl that the people of Hum­
dled and the welts are smaller and that titles are very, very scarce around us to produce a poem every week that
more scattered, which tends to give these parts, but once in awhile you run will stand the rigors of this climate. boldt county. Cal., are so antagonistic
to the Chinese that they won’t allow
them the general appearance of a hy­ across one. Only yesterday there was Poems are delicate things.
their hens to use China nest eggs.
ena, a term which has been applied to a gentlem in right in this town referred
to
as
“
that
red-headed-son-of-a-gun.
”
Friend
to
the
Poor
them. This is a term, however, in
which 1 am not in sympathy. Hy­ Then over in Klamath county there is
The girl in the peekaboo does not
The greatest friend the poor man
enas get in and dig occasionally, while Snake Pete and Young Feather Afraid- has today is Andrew Carnegie. When have to go to the far north to seek the
a wife but, never mind. Care should of Work. I am personally acquainted he learned there were families too poor "chilly wastes” this weathe •.
be taken to provide an old rug, or a with Jimmy, de Kid and Muggsy, de to send their chi dren to school,he went
gunny sack, or something upon which Tough, sea! After carefully considering to work with his hammer and saw and
What’s the matter with having a
a wife may sleep, and right here it tne matte’-, 1 find there are plenty of ti­ manufactured a system of spelling, put pure divorce law and thus eliminate
might be a good idea to state that the tles even, in America, that are goo 1 up in regular sized packages, and scat­ the tainted proceedings?
wood shed should be used for wood enough for Ann. Let’s see, how old is tered broadcast over the land, on the
alone, and a place prepared by Ann? She's old enough to know better, just and the unjust, the rich and the
The sixteen-to-me idea, nevertheless,
the kitchen stove for the wife to slum­ anyhow.
poor, the meek and the lowly. And
ber. Kindness is the best policy. Don't
now the children cry for it. A few prevails to a great ixtent among cer­
josh the wife about her pies. When Danger Ahead
yeais ago there were poor families tain church people of Utah yet.
pie time arrives, place aoout four pieces
A Mrs. Waymire of Portland, tri d ihat had to worry along with cheap
“Unhappiness is caused by the things
m an asbestos sack, pr<pared lor that to black(t'e)rtiail May >r L i le, the and unpolished art galleries, and some
purpose, and drown them in the Log other day. She visited him in his of­ weie compelled to do without them en­ we ca ’t have,” says a wise mar. Oh,
pond some dark night. It is not a very fice and tried to remove his collar tirely during the coldest winter months. I don t know. How about a corn.’
blight trick to shoot at the wife's b s- button, the only one he hail, too, but But, thanks to Andrew Carnegie, they
cuits with anything smaller than a three or lour strong men kicked the are now within the reach of all. Or
Get Post ed.
Jacksonville Post