Jacksonville post., July 27, 1907, Image 8

MIGHTY MONSTER
IS DISCOVERED
■"NT
ing skyward was a faint mist, gradual­
ly disappearing until, the professor says,
it was no larger than six-bits, or the
ice-man’s hundred-pound cake of ice.
If so, call at
ARE
A. I). Houston's
For.....
YOU
TENTS
GOING
CAMP STOVES
FOR
FOLDING CHAIRS
FOLDING BEDS
AN
AMMUNITION
~1 •)
OUTING JT • WATER BAGS
Binns’ New Horse.
Strange Story Told by College I
Ed. Binns, the butcher, the progres­
Professor Who is a Visitor
sive sausage juggler, has purchased a
horse. This statement may sound com­
in Jacksonville.
mon-place and plebian right at the start,
Professor Blank, of Blank college, but there is a sad, solemn story attached
Blank, Blank, has been in the vicinity . to it. This horse is of the mustang va-
of Table Rock this week looking for . riety—one of the 57. He is not used to
specimens for his college, and in con­ the busy turmoil of the city life and he
versation with the writer yesterday, pines for the pines and the glad free
told a strange story of a terrible mon­ air of the mountains. He has always
ster which he discovered on that moun­ been "back to nature” and until now
tain. The story is almost too strange stood well in society among his fellows.
to be true, but in view of the old chest­ But since being attached, by force it
nut that truth has fiction beaten to a might be well to state, to the business
finish for queerness, we accepted the end of a meat wagon, he has grown
story and promised the professor to give taciturn and weary and refuses to eat.
Mr. Binns is also having some difficulty
it space in the Post.
This peculiar monster is endowed with in teaching him to back up whenever
from seven to twenty-eight legs, those the occasion demands it. In fact the
on one side being about one foot and horse is so set in his ways that its owner
six inches in length, while on the oppo­ is thinking of treating him to a course
site side of the terrible creature the in a correspondence school. Hedoesn't
limbs are about three and one-half feet seem to yearn much for human society,
long. At the end of it- tail, which, by but wants to be by himself and think it
the way, is over nineteen linear feet in over. Horses in stories soon learn to
length, is a large fish-like scale about love their masters and usually Know
the size of a bustle, which also resem­ more than a college professor, but this
bles to some extent the tiller wheel used horse is not exactly of the same breed.
on J. P. M .rgan’s yacht, "White It may bethat he will gel over his few
Wings.” This piece of mechanism is failings, but at this writing his ease is
operated by the monster to steer itself somewhat doubtful. Of course, the
with. So easily and gracefully can it horse can hardly be blamed for becom­
manipulate the steering gear that it ing a little nervous and excited when
can turn completely around upon the his eyes fail upon the magnificient arch
dismal heights of a three-gallon beer on California street with its glare of
keg without becoming dizzy. It may as electric fights, ai.d Conklin's everready
well be explained here that this awful hammocks, and Houston’s new sign, and
monster inhabits the rocksand hil's of the Rainier beer banner, and all those
the highest mountains and can only things. As previously remarked, it is a
graze on a hillside, the long legs reach­ sad pitiful story and one that would
ing out below, while the short ones bal­ bring tears to the eyes of the onion ped-
dlar. But such is life in this seething
ance it on the upper side.
The scientific name for the monster, metropolis.
the professor says, is the cyxlegorna-
Cha jla’.iqua Closed.
oustug, but is more commonly known
as a Side Ilill Moogin.
The fifteenth annual Southern Oregon
It rears up on its powerful tail and Chautauqua Assembly, which closed at
devours the delicious fruit of the An- Ashland last Friday night, was the
heuser bush without picking its teeth. most successfnl financially in the his­
With a hiss of satisfaction it sticks out tory of th? association, and the program
its tongue, blinks its eyes and looks for was a highly pleasing one through­
higher bushes.
out. Last year a deficiency of several
During the heat of the day it lies be­ hundred dollars was faced at the end of
tween two huge plymouth rocks and the ten day“. The larger receipts of
quarrels with its sha low. At sundown this year enable that old indebtedness
it leaves its lair and runs seven times to be cleared and leave a tidy sum t > be
around th? mountain for exercise be­ turned into the budding fund against
fore s. eking its supper. Its m itto is which there is a sma'l indebtedness in­
"Onward and Upward.”
curred for enlargin’ the tabernacle
The death of this Side Hill Moogin three years ago. The officers elected
was a sad one, according to our inform­ were as the follows: G. F. Billings,
ant. who says while he was hunting for presiden*; vice-president, J. S. Smith;
a Dodo’s egg he stumbled onto the Grants Pass, H. C. Kinney; Jacksonville,
monster in a deadly encounter with its Dr. J. W. Robinson: Medford. Ms. D.
shadow. It rais si itself on its tail and T.
1 Lawton: Phoenix. Miss Bertha Rose;
spat fire, and brimstone, and greased Klamath Falls, Mrs. T. W. Stephens;
lightning, and apple butter, and cuss Roseburg. Mrs. A. T. Steiner; Talent,
words, and growls, and roars, and im­ V. A. Dunlap;Central Point. Rev. Swee­
mediately started in pursuit of the pro- , ny; Yreka, Rev. W. J. O'Brien: Horn­
fessor, who, instead of running ar und brook.
|
Mrs W. A. Holmes. Secretary,
the mountain, as the creature expected, ■ T. A. Hayes; treasnrer. F. H. Carter.
turned and hiked down the hill. The Trustees.D.
'
R. Mi’ls. J. K. VanSant.
Moogin tried to follow him. but that Elmer Patrick. G. W. Trefren. H. L.
was its undoing; for when it turned the Whited.
'
Denominational trustees, P.
long legs traveled too fast for the short ] Ritner, Baptist; Mrs. J. R. Wick,
ones, thereby throwing the steering ap- ] Presbyterian; Rev. Green, Congrega­
paratus out of gear, which caused the tional;
i
Mrs. .1. L. Downing Methodist;
monster to travel in a complete circle. ] Mrs. E. A. Sherwin. Protestant Episco­
Twist and wiggle as it might, it could pal;
|
Mrs. L. M. Caldwell. Christian:
only hike around and around. Within a ; Mrs. S. J. Evans, Catholic; D. M.
couple of hours it began to get groggy ] Brower. Dunkard; A. R. Carter. Chris­
and by five o’clock it was as drunk as a tian
i
Science.
boiled owl. Perfectly helpless, it laid
W anted : homestead relinquish ­
on the hill side and eventually died of
ments sufficiently low in altitude to be
exposure and drunkeness.
as Ashland.
H. H. Davis.
It was dark by this time, and the pro- warm
’
Ashland. Ore.
fessor felt of the monster's pulse and
learned that all was over. He returned
the following morning, and the Moogin
A $120 organ. It’s at the Singler
was m where in sight, but silentIv float- Music
1
Store. Medford.
.1 nice assortment of Fruit
Cans, Fruit Jars, Preserving
Kettls of all kinds, Agate
Bare due to arrive shortly
A. D. HOUSTON
(Masonic Building)
JACKSONVILLE, OREGON
K
' A TTENTION, YOUNG MEN
He ha ri a tninii'.-¡ stork of fancy
Hose, Aeckivear, Shirts, Oxfords,
Hats and everything that makes
you look dressy
Come in
and let us shou you our goods
JR art’ agents for the International
Tailoring Co., and if you need a
Summer Suit of the latest pattern
we can get it for you at the right
price and guarantee you a fit
I
■
ULRICH BROS.]
GENERAL MERCHANDISE
;
Croncmiller’s Old Stand
‘