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About The Observer. (La Grande, Or.) 1968-current | View Entire Issue (March 21, 2020)
COFFEE BREAK 6B — THE OBSERVER SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 2020 Joy at fi nding love can’t diminish pain of twin’s loss DEAR ABBY: I have had a serious boyfriend for six months. He’s wonderful, a dream come true. But I fi nd myself more depressed and suicidal than ever. Mom tells me I don’t have any reason to be depressed since I have a boyfriend. It’s like she thinks I have no right to still be despondent over my twin’s death because I now have a signifi cant other. My eating disorder and self- harm have gotten worse, too. I feel like I’m holding in so much sadness I’m not allowed to show that I’m turning it all inward in self-destructive ways. Although I love my boyfriend, I almost feel like breaking up just so everyone won’t expect me to be Pollyanna anymore. The third anniversary of my twin’s suicide is coming, which is making everything more unbearable. I just don’t know what to DEAR do. I just want to disappear. ABBY — THINGS AREN’T OK DEAR THINGS: If your mother truly believes a death in the family (particu- larly a twin!) is something that can be “fi xed” by having a boy- friend, she is deluding herself. You need professional help and right away. There are support groups for survivors of a family mem- ber’s suicide, and you are three years overdue for fi nding one. I urge you to contact the American Foundation for Suicide Preven- tion. Someone there can help you to fi nd a support group for the sur- vivors of a loved one’s suicide. To fi nd them, go online to afsp.org. If you are feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and tell a counselor about what’s going on. If you do, you can be directed to a licensed ther- apist in your community who can help. The toll-free number to call is 800-273-8255. PLEASE do not put it off. DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I have been estranged on and off for many years, most recently for the last 22 months. At that time, she angrily took her 8-year-old daughter and left our home, where she had been living since another eviction. She said she was going to tell everyone I kicked her out. Then she blocked me on Facebook, removed my access to my granddaughter’s classroom progress reports and my name from the school emergency card. I had no idea where they went. My poor granddaughter was in tears. She had been upset moving back in with us again, and told me she wished her mom would get a job so they could stay in one place for real. After no contact, I have been told my daughter is being mar- ried. “Save the date” cards have gone out. I have no desire or intention of going to a wedding of someone who has spent half her life being cruel to me, lying, ignoring me, being jealous at her sister’s wedding and so on, with never an apology for her hor- rible behavior. She’s a Jekyll and Hyde. We live in the same commu- nity, and I do all I can to avoid seeing her. I’m happy for her and delighted my granddaughter will fi nally have a bedroom of her own, but I have no intention of playing happy family to someone who regularly sharpens knives in my back. How do I answer any inquiries that may come up about the wedding? — CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE DEAR CAN’T: Do not engage in a litany of complaints and accu- sations. You can get the message across to anyone who asks about the wedding by saying that you are not involved in the planning of the wedding and questions should be directed to your daughter. You do not have to discuss it further. It’s short and sweet and gets the message across. U.S., Canada closing shared border to nonessential travel Truckers, snowbirds exempt from the restriction By Roib Gillies and Eliot Spagat The Associated Press WASHINGTON — The United States and Canada agreed Wednesday to tem- porarily close their shared border to nonessential travel to confront the coronavirus pandemic, bringing a halt to tourism and family visits but leaving the fl ow of trade intact. The announcement by President Donald Trump came as his administration prepared to immediately return to Mexico all people caught illegally crossing the southern U.S. border. Trump said he would announce that step “very soon,” perhaps as early as Wednesday. These combined actions would further isolate the United States, affecting two borders that have been treated in starkly dif- Photo by Jeffrey T. Barnes/Th e Associated Press President Donald Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau have agreed to close the U.S.-Canada border to non-essential travel in order to slow the spread of the coronavirus, but trade will not be affected. ferent ways by the Trump administration. The fl ow of travelers on the northern border, the world’s longest between two nations, has been rela- tively open. By comparison, Trump has made clamping down on immigration, both legal and illegal, across the southern border the corner- stone of his presidency. The Canadian restric- tions, unlike those under consideration with Mexico, were agreed upon mutually by both governments. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said travelers will no longer be able per- mitted to cross the border for recreation or tourism, but that essential travel will continue. “It is critical that we pre- serve supply chains between ed ne ORE M Show Listings, rds, o w s s o r C , u Sudok ts r o p S , h c r a Word Se ...? e r o M & s e Quizz both countries,” Trudeau said. “These supply chains ensure that food, fuel and life saving medicines reach people on both sides of the border.” Trudeau made his com- ments in front of his resi- dence where he is self-iso- lating after his wife tested positive for the virus. Trump tweeted the restrictions on the Cana- dian border will not affect trade between allies eager to maintain their vital eco- nomic relationship. Canada relies on the U.S. for 75% of its exports and about 18% of American exports go to Canada. Truck drivers and Cana- dian snowbirds, who live in the U.S. for part of the year and are returning to Canada, are among those exempted. Completely closing the border would cause severe damage to two economies so closely inte- grated. Much of Canada’s food supply comes from or via the U.S., and 98% of its oil exports go to the U.S. Mexico responded cau- tiously to news reports the U.S. may turn back people who illegally cross into the U.S. The Mexican foreign minister said Washington had not shared a “formal proposal” and, if it did, then Mexico would respond “in defense of its interests, considering, among other things, public health and human rights.” The U.S. proposal would apply to anyone who crossed the U.S.-Mexico border between ports of entry, including those who claim asylum. It would amount to one of his most aggressive attempts by Trump to curtail illegal immigration. The Border Patrol aver- aged about 1,000 arrests a day in February. During the U.S. budget year that ended in September, only 20% of those arrested were from Mexico; many of the rest came from Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Check out our new TV Magazine Cuba and Brazil. The situation at Cana- da’s border came into focus Monday when Trudeau said he would close the coun- try’s borders to anyone who was not a Canadian citizen, an American or a perma- nent resident. Even then, those people are required to self-isolate for 14 days on arrival. Many in Canada criti- cized the decision to give Americans an exemption, including British Columbia Health Minister Adrian Dix, citing the surge in cases in neighboring Washington state. Canadian Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland said then the border is vital to the daily life to people on both sides. “Nearly 200,000 people cross that border every day, and that border and that traffi c that goes across that border is literally a life- line for both the Canadians and the Americans on both sides of that border,’’ Free- land said. Y R E V E Y A D R SATU BLACK E LOGO REVERS LOGO R - COLO G N CHAN BAR CA
