Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (June 8, 2001)
Leftfield Frank Silva COfNlGrM^'JALATf o W5 _S HrO 10^3 a Can you spot the graduating senior? Guest Commentary Elizabeth Weishan All over campus you can see the signs that another year is drawing to a close. The freshmen look pan icked at the thought of having an other round of exams. The sopho mores are just now realizing that maybe they should attend those last few weeks of classes to make sure they don't fail. The juniors look depressed that they have an other year of this ahead of them. The seniors, especially those sen iors completing their fifth or sixth years, have that look of total apa thy. So here I present to you the top nine ways to recognize a graduat ing senior. 1. Seniors can be recognized by their lighter backpacks. Many sen iors have given up carrying all of their books and notebooks with them. Some have even converted to the "one notebook is good enough for all of my classes" style of learn ing. 2. In smaller classes and labs, seniors can often be recognized by their listless posture and inability to rouse themselves to participa tion. Aimless rearranging of lab supplies is a sure sign of senioritis. 3. Seniors can often be found out at bars during the week, toasting to the fact that they have an exam the next day. Let's listen in on a typical exchange between a graduating senior and another student. Graduating senior to non-gradu ating friend: "Hey what's going on tonight? Wanna go to the Plaza?" Non-graduating friend: "It's Tuesday." Graduating senior: "I know, that's when all the good drink spe cials happen!" Non-graduating friend: "But I have an exam on Thursday." Graduating senior: "I have one tomorrow, but it's not stopping me." Non-graduating friend: "No thanks." Graduating senior: "Wuss." 4. Over in engineering, graduat ing seniors have another distin guishing feature: the weirdly formed grin of terror. This particu lar trait, while not unique to engi neering students, does seem to be more predominant in this species. The cause seems to be the fear that results from not yet having a job to start immediately after graduation. The grin of terror is particularly easy to spot this year in light of the declining economy. To observe the grin of terror, simply ask a graduat ing engineer: "So, what are you do ing after graduation?" The grin should appear instantly. 5. Graduating seniors are also highly recognizable through their unique speech patterns. They use an unusual number of place names, for example: "Well, I sure don't want to stay [here]. I'm think ing Portland, San Francisco, maybe Seattle." This can also be observed in the graduating senior who is looking for graduate schools. "I got into Boston and George Washington, but I really want to go to American. I haven't heard from them yet." The uninitiated are usually left to nod wisely as though they care about these topics. 6. The graduating senior also displays a highly developed ability to justify his or her actions. Mottos like "C's get degrees" and "Here we go, two-point-O" are just some of the ways graduating seniors justify hanging out, skipping classes and going to bars during the week. 7. Graduating seniors may also be discovered through careful analysis of schedules. Graduating seniors take an unusual number of "easy classes" like physical educa tion electives and 100-level lec tures with 300 or more students. "Yeah, I'm taking the last class I needed for my major, Music Ap preciation 101, Ballroom Dancing and Anthropology 104 — 'cause I needed an ethnic-studies class." 8. Right now graduating seniors can be found if one waits patiently in the [bookstore]. When a graduat ing senior passes the newly re leased stack of Fall 2001 [Sched ules], he will usually slow down a little, look at the pile and smile happily (and not a little smugly) to himself. 9. A very specific species of graduating senior can be distin guished by their complete inability to write about anything of sub stance in the opinion section. Elizabeth Weishan is a senior majoring in history and anthropology at the University of Wisconsin. The Badger Herald is the in dependent student newspaper at Univer sity of Wisconsin. Visit the paper's web site at http://www.badgerherald.com. © The Badger Herald, 2001 Haircuts $10.00 regular SI5 with shampoo & conditioner Perms $32.95 Loop Rods & Spiral $42.95 regular $50-65 with conditioners, cut <§ style. Longer, color treated hair slightly more. Good through July 6, 2001 1311 Lincoln Willamette Towers Building 345-1810 FTD Delivery worldwide Since 1922 24 hr order service Eugene’s Flower Home The University Florist Get Ready for the Class of2001 Graduation! Beautiful flowers say *Congratulations ” “Good Luck " “I Love You” Roses by the stem or dozen hand tied bunches $5.99 “Aloha” orchid leis $22.50 order 485-3655 610 E. 13th@Patterson ITo eugenesflowerhome.com Owners U of 0 Alums! ODE ARCHIVES Find ODE stories since 1994 @ www.dailyemerald.com PO KING KOIL SUPER PLUSH TWIN SET $239°° FULL SET $289°° QUEEN SET $359°° KING SET $459°° 10-Year Warranty KING KOIL FIRM SUPPORT TWIN SET $169°° FULL SET $1 99°° QUEEN SET $259°° 10-Year Warranty 343-2690 Mon - Sat 9-6, Sun 11-5" 4075 W. 11th KING KOIL PILLOW TOP TWIN SET $299°° FULL SET $359°° QUEEN.SET $399°° KING SET $599°° 10-Year Warranty AMERICAN MATTRESS will not be undersold / AMERICAN MATTRESS MANUFACTURING
