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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1982)
weakly reader Faces in “We wilt not cease ... until all squirrels have a voice In this administration. It Is the dawning of a new day." "Las ardillas estan oprimidas por la adminiatraclon de la universidad an Oregon. Faro, las ardillas venceran! (Los mandaremos armasI)” the news “Well, If the Kern nedys can do It, why can’t I? I’m fired up!” "Let me say that I stUi often seek die advice of Henry Kissinger." A Physical Plant crew rests after breaking a few windows In Friendly Hall. Recall the facts! 1) Restoration of the trade balance with the Japanese means: A) lt's capitalism when it s going our way, protectionism when it's going theirs? B) the least they could show is a little gratitude? C) they could ship us some scrap iron and we could mount a suprise attack on Tokyo within two years? D) aw. shucks, if we had a homogeneous society, we could do it too? 2) 'Linkage' in international relations means: A) the problems the French have unloading sausages on the rest of the Common Market? B) the Russians attack Afghanistan and we attack El Salvador? C) the Dodgers sign Valenzuela at a mil, and the Mexicans agree to forget all the nasty things we said about not wanting to negotiate through them? D) the missing evolutionary link between Cromagnon man and Alexander Haig? 3) The newly-revived Domino theory is: A) a theory of mob violence based on a study of the Domino gang in Chicago? B) Reagan's cabinet falling all over themselves to invade El Salvador? C) a theory purporting to show the relationship between the time a pizza is ordered and the time it arrives? D) A popular Parker Brothers board game played widely at the Politburo? 4) The new chancellor of the Department of Higher Education in Oregon is: A) a distant relative of Gen George A Custer? B) second choice after Don Corleone, who could have provided the University a little protection?' C) not anticipating moving the office of the chancellor to Noti? D) a man about whom Governor Atiyeh said: "Look at them there 'Bud' Davis eyes?" 5) The U of O football team is: A) retiring? B) a great supporter of Pacific Northwest Bell? C) deceased, but they don't know where to return the mail? D) going to try to sneak into Canada and request asylum? 6) How many Mexicans does it take A)oops' 7) People who work at the Oregon Daily Emerald are: A) without peer? (He left last month?) B) highely litarate and maticulously journalists7 C) wondering who the hell Cort Fernald is7 D) members of the Torquemada fan club? 8) The U of O basketball fight song A) has been outlawed in Germany since World War II? B) has been destroyed to the last copy in Jim Haney's fireplace? C) is also the anthem of the Vietnamese Communist Party? D) was supposedly written by Shakespeare but was proba bly written by Bacon? Greeks replace garbage as energy source By Heavy Instep Ol Not Th» EfmraM Fraternity and sorority representatives are hot under the collar over the most recent energy-saving proposal by the University Physical Plant. After nego tiations broke down with Lane County to burn processed garbage as fuel, plant director Harold Bodyblock said they were forced to turn to “the next best thing. “We feel utilizing the maximum efficiency resource in this incidence requires us to optimize our potentiality. After analyzing all available input, we have selected the alternative of using compacted Greeks - young men and women belonging to fraternities and sororities — to regenerate our steadily disappearing ‘hog fuel.’ ” Biff Izod, spokesman for Chi-Bita-Offa fraternity, said the proposal "reeked,” and was “really gnarly.” “There’s no way we’re going to get pumped for an idea as outrageous as that," Izod said at an emotional meeting of the University planning committee Wednes day. Izod said plans are in the works for a giant function to protest the proposal. "It'll be radical,” he promised Planning committee members said they had spent Not Page 8 Section B nearly a week trying to come up with several other fuel alternatives, including convicted football felons, Sony Walkmans, future issues of the Emerald and whale oil But Bodyblock said GDF (Greek Derived Fuel) seemed to be the "final solution. “We had to consider all factors," Bodyblock said "There’s less to Greeks, so they compact easier, and the smell should be more tolerable because of the amount of cologne and perfume they wear ” And, he added, “they're less likely to do anything about it.” Campus planner David Rowdy, said he has already talked to representatives from the EMU Craft Center and the business school on future marketing prospects for the fuel byproducts. James "Tex" Troniks, business school dean, said he was initially worried that sudden decreased enrollments in his school might hurt its finances, but was reassured that he would have access to a steady stream of 280 Z’s, Scirrocos and Mazda X 19's to sell for extra revenue Lisa Loom, a craft center employee, read an op timistic report to the committee on the current market demand for nicely tanned or grease painted lamp shades. Detergent distributors have expressed an interest in soap bars scented with Charley or Grey Flannel colognes, Loom added The meeting grew tense when Kiki Rosehips yelled shrilly, "Geez! You don't even understand our lifestyle," and demanded to read a poem that she said she was "totally psyched about "Phi Delts," she read, "with the punch that kicks the jelly that sticks, the Phi Delts put on a production that was no ordinary function. Gamma Phi's danced the night away, and we want Buffet night to stay ." Bodyb lock reminded Rosehips that the proposal still was in the planning stages and probably wouldn't go into effect until late spring, leaving plenty of time for spring formal rush "I still say we re getting faced" Rosehips yelled, but committee chairer Bodyblock's proposal is expected to be signed into law by University Pres. Paul Hohum In a letter addressed to the planning committee, Hohum stated “Although I can relate to the feelings the Greek community must now be experiencing, I think the solution is a sound one Anything less than what has been proposed could devastate the University." Rowdy said he urges other students to comment on the proposal either directly to him or through letters to the editor. Thursday, April 1,1982
