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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 7, 1978)
By Spider Webb THEATER "Waiting to Go." Samuel Bucket?s classic play of two men waiting in line at a pay toilet in the Salt Lake City bus terminal. Oregon Respiratory Theatre. Thursday through Sunday, 7:30 p.m. $3. "Don Geodesic." Modern opera by Wolfgang Yogurt about famous lover Don Yaun's many open relationships. Eugene Opera? Thursday through Sunday, 7:30 p.m. 50 cents, $8, $100. FILM "Droolia, " starring Jane Fondle as Lil lian Hellperson. Touching story about Hell person's friendship with fifth colum nist Droolia, who is working to liberate Michigan's Upper Peninsula. 180 PLC, 7 & 9 p.m., $1. “Oh Shit," starring John Denver and his left hand. 150 Science, 4 a m., five cents. "Kitchen Counters of the Third Kind." The story of a man, haunted by night mares of stained pink formica, who goes on a quest for a tea ball that won't drip. Friday, 180 PLC, 7 and 9 p.m., $1. MUSIC Happy Limbo and his Blues Ukelele. Benefit concert for the Save the Slugs Alliance. Tuesday, WHEW Hall, 6 p.m., $2. Linda Thermostat. Singer made fam ous by such hits as “Heart Like a Flat Tire," “When Will I Be Paid," and "Dif ferent Tuba.” Thursday, Mac Court, 8 p.m., sticky dollars. Paul Sinus. Once part of a folk duo with Artless Garfunkel, Sinus has made it on his own with his albums “Still Grat ing After All These Years" and "Here Comes Whinin' Sinus." Saturday, Civic Center, 8, 8:30, & 9 p.m., $6. The Four Heart Murmurs. American's oldest barber shop quartet, doing rendi tions of such classics as “Pacemaker of my Pacemaker" and “Sweet Insulin.” Sunday, EMU Ballroom, 2 p.m., dona tion one box of cream of wheat. MISCELLANEOUS Writer’s Forum. Quen Quesay will discuss his novel “Sometimes a Small Notion," the story of Hank Simper's struggle against a toothpick conglom erate. Also speaking will be children's book writer Goldy Goldenrod, author of "The Bobbsey Twins Go to Pine Ridge. ” Tuesday, EMU Forum, 3:30 p.m., free. Stilldeaths. Photos by Brian Danker of famous traffic accidents in Eugene. Museum of Art, now through Sunday, free. The Five-Year Dust. Museum of Natural History personnel will also be polishing the mineral collection. Friday, 4 p.m., free. CLASSIFIEDS ITOR SALE Let Bast Condom solve your pregnancy problems Condoms cut to size. BEST CONDOM COMPANY 69 Hair Street / \ EMPLOYMENT U. S. CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY Unique professional oppor tunities are available for those seniors and graduate students completing work in: Accounting/must be able to juggle at least two books Aerospace sabotage Agricultural defoliation Arson Backstabbing Blackmail Bribery Commando operations Dope smuggling/Golden Triangle, Bandon, Columbia Demolitions Forgery Foreign languages/Polish, Bengla Bengali, Samoan, Mongolian, Latin Front operations Garrot Gun running Industrial theft/sabotage $udo/Karate/Thumbscrewing Keyhole photography Kickbacks Murder/simulation heart attacks Opium dealing Prostitution Public relations Trench Coat tailoring Wiretapping All initial assignments are in Washington, D C., at the Allende School of Political Stability. Minimum processing required: six days. OBTAIN YOUR APPLICA TION FROM THE UNIVERSITY PLACEMENT SERVICE BY APRIL 15. (Avoid the protestors by going through the rear entrance.) Cold stares and American flag tie clasps preferred. IQ of 66 minimum. Minorities and women need not bother to apply. On* roommate, good condtlon, acne, can't cor nhote worth a shit Ask tor Bruce, 666-6666 4:7 Pa* ot Mack leather high-heeled boots Cheap Cal Max. 818-1111 5:7 Mack leather cat o nine tails whip. Cheap. Cal Max, 818-1111 5:7 Week lace alp, chains and a brown great Dane. Cheap. Cal Max, 818-1111. 5:7 Super 8 movie camera, tripod and Ights. Cheap. Call Max, 818-1111. 5:7 A comb uaad by John Beluahi during the Wming o< Animal House Grease still intact. Call 239-9999 57 SO gallon* of six-month-old pigeon droppings. Stttl Ike new. Write Mel Brooks, Holywood, CA. 5:7 1876 blue Cadillac body mktus wheels, doors, hood, carborators, radiators. Victim oI senseless vandalism. Cal Hank, 553-6767 5 7 Parta lor new Caddy, wheels, orange doors, pur ple hood, corporator, radiator Victim ot over crowded schools Cal Mugsy, 415-9990 5 7 AUTO REPAIR VW OWNERS Mein friends und me fix the Fatherland’s most prized contrtbuton to der ante Industry — der Vol kswagen Mein fine staff of master race mechanics kan Mtzkrteg thru your car and (!x der ailments In minutes. Ve hat vays of fixing your car. BOmtANN-S IMPORT AUTO REPAIR 1991 Argentine Drive 666-1939 5:7 ff PLANTS/FLOWERS SIXTH STREET POPERY Featuring kilos of the finest uncut Columbian. No preservatives or oregano added. Premium qualty and the lowest prices Always. 10tfi and high 5:7 HELP WANTED NEED HELP? LIZ RAY IS HERE LOOKING FOB SECRETARIAL HELP? The Liz Ray Girl Service Is here tor you. All our employees dress in the skimpiest mni-eklrts, hove grapefruit size tozombazs and hash the sexiest smiles. They type too. Hourly stenography rates available: lap sitting, extra; overnight rates negoti able Liz Roy Girls A Division of Lb Ray Service 1000 Undercover Arcade 239-9990 0000010 ASUO desperately in need of new student body president. Former president lost somewhere on vacation in Calfomia. Pay is low. but the rewards are great. The job enables you to make colorful statements about vital Issues concerning students then sit back and do absolutely nothing about them WASPs and frat boys need only apply. 5:7 Oregon Dally ImmoraM needs a variety of sick humorists and people with chips on their shoulders to wrle tor future edWons Applcants shoiJd have a working knowledge of Ibel laws, defamation and the best ways to go about both WNte, Anglo Saxon. Protestant. Good-fearing, Heterosexual males only. To all others, the Immorald don't want your kind around here 5:7 GRAND OPENING a new slow-foods restaurant The Taco Tomb “We ignore your order before it’s placed” featuring The Taco That Time Forgot This week only: a free cup of cold coffee with every order Don’t hurry now! EVENTS The Dying Fucks gymnastics team presents. nearly alve and almost a person, an encore performance by Karl Wallenda April 8 between sessions of the NCAA QymnasUcs Championships, above 920 PLC Tickets $10 on IhebuMngs, $15 at point of imped from any Dying Fuck, or coach BM Balance-Seam. 5:7 EMU Cultural Forum preeenta NILES NOSTRIL ANO HIS NINE NASTY NOSE PICKERS M THE MUSICAL SMASH “I’VE GOT, YOU, YOU BUGGER, YOU” $1 Mac Court 5:7 N.Y.P.D. PRESENTS SHOOT ’EM AGAIN, SAM Starring WOODY ALLEN as David Berkowttz $1 PLC (Anyone carrying a .44 calber pistol half prtce)5:7 ENTERTAINMENT Richard Nixon and Allenwood Trio Inhnnii >ilt h.M —_ - Jonnny wicnM on uvnMH "Vassal" »*-«-*- - ---- r»ppjf ntnsmin on impmu John Doan einglng A David Float Production 5:7 KNUT MIDNIGHT KICKS Every Fri. and Sat. Wacky Bi-Cinema This Week Teach Me, Now, Behind the Screen Door STARRING: Susie Eaze 5:7 PERSONAL SENIORS SHOULD BE SHOT Last requests usuaty granted Cigar and blindfold provided VA approved Show time: higfi noon. EMU 5:7 THE HIT SHOP Tired of dementing, unreasonable professors who refuse to give incompletes for your early trip to Nevada's Mustang Ranch 7 Tired of fellow students who constantly peer over your Nioukfer during tests? Tired of feiow students who refuse to let you peer aver their shoulders during tests? Tty The Hit Shop We can Iqildate your problem in a matter of minutes. No job is too big for our boys Whether you prefer big bangs and cars or ground glass and soup, we can handto it. 119 Underworld Avenue 789-6676 34322 STUPID? YOU HAVE A FRIEND AT MORON RIGHT. Confidential Information (we won't tet any one who doesn't ask) and a free IQ test Call 873-6659 5:7 LANE MEMORIAL SPERM BANK The Spermmobile wK be at 831 E. Hitartson today Calf 666-5486 for how to make a donation DONORS NEEDED . .. with units of al kinds. 5:7 Arterial Damage All the cholesterol you can stuff into you (excluding salads) every Tuesday and Thursday. 8 p.m. — midnight Lasagne Whorehouse 572 West 1/2 St (Continued on Page 12B) OPEN PANTIES DEUUlESfN You’ll enjoy the variety and quality you’ll find at the panty delicatessen inside McKey’s Market, 112 Black Lace Ave. One stop shopping for taste bud delights. 112 Black Lace Ave. Eugene, Oregon
