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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 7, 1978)
Vol. 3, No. 1 Eugene, Oregon 97403 Friday, April 7, 1978 City prepares for electronic smog By HEAVEN PARDON Of the Immorald An errant radio wave that has been linked to reports of “elec tronic smog” for the past two weeks is being caused by Disco music played in the Eugene Springfield area, a Federal Com munications Commission (FCC) spokesman said Thursday. The mysterious radio signal, which has been described as a wildly pulsing beam with a steamy bump and grind rhythm, has been traced to several locations around Eugene, all of which are located in or near singles bars, teen dance halls and two area re cord stores, the spokesman said. According to FCC findings, which were made from a Washington, D.C. office by sev eral engineers and two Federal Bureau of Investigation officers, the music played in those loca tions has interacted with an appar ent rise in body temperatures to cause the mysterious signal. “It’s really no mystery at all,” Robert Smyte, FCC spokesman for the Department of Investiga tions into crack-pot allegations that errant radio waves could be causing cancer in nearly 10 million Americans a year and other smart aleck industrial hygienists’ theories that come dangerously close to uncovering a secret Naval communications system that has been linked to every disease from cataracts, heart trouble and cen tral nervous disorders to genetic damage and lack of ability to read long paragraphs, said in a tele phone interview Thursday. “This whole thing has been blown completely out of propor tion,” he explained. "There is no need to be alarmed and there is no danger.” Disco music, Smyte said, has been known to cause several nervous disorders in the past, in cluding one unexplained disease which compels those stricken by it to watch John Travolta movies, he said. “That is certainly more danger ous to the brain than any mic rowave radiation,” Smyte said. The owners of the dance halls, the singles bars and the record stores, however, disagree with Smyth’s explanation. Disco music could not possible be causing the signal, they said. “Sure, and rumba dancing can make you go blind,” one owner said. "This is just a classic case of the federal government tailing us just what they want us to know.” Of those areas pinpointed by the FCC as the causes of the signals, several tests done by en gineers in Washington, D.C., used to determine the findings prove they are the cause, Smyte said. One test, telephoning a disco dance hall and asking if they had Sir Walter Raleigh in a can proved beyond a doubt that the singal was coming from those loca tions, he said. “You should have heard their answers,” Smyte said. “The music was so loud that I could hardly make out what they said, but I know that they are the cause. So there is no need for alarm.” But Measure Van Quark, who first discovered the signal, disa grees. "Sure, and dancing the rumba can make you go blind,” he said. "This isn’t what I have discovered through my research.” Van Quark and several en gineers who measured the signal are not convinced the FCC tests went deep enough into the issue. “They could have at least come into the city to make their tests,” Van Quark said. "But by staying in Washington, they just fueled the fire under the controversy.” Van Quark explained the FCC engineers may have been suffer ing from brain damage caused by working near a bureaucracy. "That’s more dangerous than any microwave jive,” he said. “Just look at all the dumb stuff they do. They must have brain damage, that's the only explana tion for it.” Whatever the cause of the signal, Eugene residents who have visited area disco dance halls, record stores and teen dances in the past six months are asked to report any disorders — such as a third eye growing in the forehead — to the FCC as soon as possible, Smyte said. Civil defense authorities began issuing gear Thursday to ward off the effects of the electronic smog, which has been pulsating through Eugene for several days. Citizens are asked to avoid several items that amplify the mysterious radio signal: radios, refrigerators, TVs and lUDs. Would refuses to commit on doqcatcher’s contest By I Ml NATI Z Of the Immorald Bob “Vascillation” Would today announced his intention again that he was going to run in the May primary. Would has not decided what race to run for yet but said he’d like to be considered for as many races as possible. Would was going to be Oregon’s next governor, congressional representative, EWEB board member, and serve on the school board. But rumors are now flying around his various campaign head quarters Would is seriously considering running for dogcatcher. Would told reporters they were barking up the wrong tree when asked of his aspirations of being dogcatcher. Would elaborated anyway on his ideas for his campaign saying it was a “dog eat dog world and I for one disagree with that.” Would went on to voice his support of abortion for welfare bitches and told reporters of his idea of installing CB radios in the dogcatchers van to attract strays. He also praised Alfo and said every dogcatcher should be familiar with such protein substitutes. It was not clear if Would was talking about dogs or himself eating the Alfo. When a Would campaign worker was asked if this could be for real she sighed and said, “Bob has been faced with a lot of indecisions lately, and I can’t really say for sure.” Referee shot in Pit Pac-8 basketball official Mel Floss was killed by a sniper’s bullet before 10,000 fans in Mac Court Thursday night during the Oregon-UCLA game. Police have not turned up any witnesses. Floss, 99, one of the oldest basketball referees and the most maligned by fans, was waddling down court, chasing Ns seeing eye dog from the floor, when he suddenly collapsed, police said. Trainers from both teams rushed to his aid and found a single two-inch bullet hole at the base of his skull, which police suspect killed him instantly. Police detained all 10,000 fans for questioning, except the members of the “Fleeced Ducks,” who each year give $1,000,000 to the Athletic Department. All the fans deny hearing any gunshot or seeing the killing occur. But Eugene Police Chief Fierce Looks is skeptical. ‘‘I can't believe we are unable to locate one witness out of 10,000 possibilities," he said incredulously. In tribute to Floss, the pep band played “Stayin’ Alive,” the students threw frisbees and empty rum bottles and coach Dick Hartless tripped a cheerleader. J
