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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 13, 1925)
Lemmy’s Ghost The Hammer and Coffin Society Edited by Kolf Klep NOMINATIONS IN ORDER— “I HAVE IN MIND—” (Note great quietness and sincerity of audience) Candidate at the Camjpa Shoppe Straight (dreamily)—I love to dance with you. Ticket (drowsily)—Whatcha want this time—cigar, cigarettes, candy, what I think of the hoard of re gents’ decision, or whether or not I favor another fee? * * * Junior Mudivil Great Snucksess Eugene, Oregon, May 9, 1925 (Special Correspondent).—The un expected illness of one of the stars of the Vod-vill, and the arrival of Mrs. Axel and Company to fill the void in the program, caused a great deal of favorable comment on the part of the critics. Mrs. Axel was assisted in her act by Tina (pro nounced Teena) the Swedish dance marvel, and Jarge, impersonator uncaged. A feature of the act was the singing and dancing of Mrs. Axel, and Tina. Jarge executed with great dex terity an impersonation of the head of a tack. This, as did his janitor work of dusting the lavishly paint ed back-drop, brought down the house. He was such a success that it has been rumored than an honor ary dramatic society at Salem is trying to make him a life member. But genius must go un-rewarded, for no trace could be found of him after the performance, and he left no forwarding address. The acts were good, but none of them were like this. The question which worries'us now-is “Who kill ed the dead pig?” and why this re sulted in the bark of the Wagawaga tree not having a change in the marketing of asparagus tips in Yap. Perhaps it was due to the awing effect of the backdrops garnished in garlic with a background of to matoes over a floor of gnarled saw dust and Taw feet. Who knows— eh—who knows. Ya know, Jimmy, I don’t see why they want to learn us this old Eng lish for anyway, it ainta gonna do yd any good after ya graduate from the place. ,» » * ■ Alas, Annabelle! Sweet Annabelle, my heart is yourn, My love I know you will not spurn Sweet Annabelle, because I know You have not got another beau. Sh-h-h-sh We are letting you in on a little inside dope. In opening the other people’s mail this morning we came across this letter misswritten to the Lyric Rainbow. It came from two of our former students who are do ing time at Walla Walla—on rival newspapers. The note included with the following poem stated that it was to be run in the Rainbow—just to show you what we poets can do.’ Here it is, even if we did rob the Rainbow: Eeny, meeni— Okity splat— This is poetry— WTiolly cat— Woogle woggle— Garlic stems— Suffering catfish— Rarest gems— Burning bunions— Horny toads— We are hoboes— Of the roads. —By Monte Byers, Swede Erickson —Two young boys trying to get on in the world, singing psalms and writing verse in the great open spaces near Walla Walla, where men are men and if they don’t like you. they shoot from the hip and have plenty of dark to work in. These immortal lines, the letter informs us, were written Sunday evening while the sun was setting on the sparse treetops of the town where the bloodthirsty redskins massaerec the missionaries in 1492. His father wanted to keep him ir the Ford class, so he bought Percj a Lincoln. • * * # * * , I Have. Have you ever: been late to class, or never arrived at all? flunked? made Phi Beta Kappa? lisped soup? fallen in the miTJ-racje—iby re quest? had a blind date? had a flat tire—two kinds? done parade rest on the dinner table ? been ealled down? cussed your profs? cut a date? hated girls? loaned your clothes? If you have you probably belong to a fraternity. Not Nice Do you know what my habits at night are?—Pajamas, of course. Do you know why our little cheer ing section makes so much noise? Well, we give them that cheering drink called Boot Beer. Mugs of co-eds oft remind us; We shouldn’t let our noses shine, Or departing leave behind us— Powder marks on tuxes fine. Hymn of Hate I hate the girl who tries to smoke to prove she is of the “emancipat ed youth” when one puff back of her back teeth would take off the top of her head. I hate men who tell about their conquests with the fair sex and are afraid to offer a woman a seat in a streetcar for fear the act will be taken as an improper advance. I hate the woman who raves about opera at the women’s club and works “Memphis Blues” over time on the victrola. Oliver Twister Bv The Dickens It is a terrible condition, one which brings tears to the eyes of the most brutal hearted Just think of a poor mite of a lad, seated at an enormous banquet table glitter ing with silver and glass, asking a large, swarthy, hulking waiter for more. The waiter, after the manner of most of his kind, glowers at the poor innocent youth who is trying to make himself understood by beg ging in shaking English for more. Only a frown greets his continuous entreaties. Until, finally, the head waiter takes pity upon the scared over-fed youth, and commands that the monster learn what is the child’s pleasure. “Please, sir, I want some more— some more olives.” The waiter in stupefied astonish ment clung to the table for support. He was paralysed with wonder; the boy with fear. “What!” said the assistant of Epicurus at length, in a faint voice. “That’s the third bowl-full of olives you have had this evening.” With this, he rushed away to fill the fourth. Moral: What has been done can not be undone. “I say, Martin, why did you change the dog's name to ‘Revue’?” “He’s all legs.” Junk When my Ford goes down the street, All the birdies go cheap, cheap, cheap; And in the evening when the sun goes down— It ’8 always dark where it’s around. The can’s so reliable, I’ll say this: When she starts to pop, she ’ll never miss. When my junk goes down the street, All the birdies go cheap, cheap, cheap. (Apologies to Sugar) * * * We have refrained, insofar.as pos sible, from mentioning the cross word puzzle. But what’s a five letter word meaning termination, beginning with an “f” and ending with “s.” FINIS <3>-—--<> Communications | (Continued from, page two) that the rest of us hack them up? WINIFRED GRAHAM. PEO AND CON Argument: If the proposed amendment to Section 6, Article 10, receives a favorable vote, the addi tional fee of $5 per student will enable the A. S. U. O. bleachers to be built this summer and the basketball pavilion next year. Answer: It was a fundamental idea among the originators of the Student Union plan to build a Un ion and not a basketball pavilion or bleachers. Why confuse the is sues ? The amendment you vote upon tomorrow contains a rider at tached to a worthy cause. Argument: If the compulsory plan is adopted, a campus drive for Student Union funds will hereafter become unnecessary. Answer: Are you in favor of be ing obliged to pay for a basketball pavilion and bleachers? We want a Student Union and we are going to have it, but let’s stick to our original plans for financing it. Why change the idea and spirit of a worth while project. Argument: The Student Union would be a reality in four years. Answer: Yes, but by disregard ing the hardship the increased fees would impose on many self sup porting students. A failure of this amendment to pass your vote does not jeopardize the ultimate realiza tion of the Student Union—it only means we prefer to pay for it ac cording to our ability to pay. LESSER FEES. | IT IS A PAYMENT PURE AND SIMPLE To the Editor: Some say that the old student union plan was that of gratuiteous giving. That was the theory—yes. But more wcrf coerced into giv ing than we like to admit. Pres sure and not spirit, put the drives across. The associated students is a body-politic, and like all such bod ies may be controlled by the bal lot. If the $5.00 fee amendment passes we will thereby establish a uniform payment to go onto a building fund. The fee would be voluntarily established and equal to all. We would consider the fee to be just what it is: a payment. There would be no tendency to disguise a coerced pledge—as a gratuitous gift. Far better to recognize our needs and vote money to take care I CLASSIFIED ADS I LOST — Sheaf fer’s Life-Time fountain pen. Name and address of Ed. Hicks on pen. Finder please return to Emerald office or call above named at 1306. 13-14-15 LOST—Silver mesh bag at base ball game. Will finder please call 225. 13-14 i FOR SALE—1915 Ford touring. I Call 1896-J. H. J. Rehn, 412 E. j 13th. St. 13-14 j WANTED—Two college students ! for work during summer vacation. | Good salary guaranteed. Write J. I Faulkner, care Osburn hotel, for : particulars. Give address and ! phone. 12-13-14. TODAY LAST DAY IT WAS A RIOT LAST NIGHT! Colleen Moore in “SALLY” PROLOG << »» Regular f Prices• EVENINGS MATINEES 30c 20c Found: Sally HUGH WINDER MILDRED BALDWIN SAM SOBLE and Company Night at 7:25 and 9:20 —MORE FUN ‘SIT TIGHT’ —MORE FUN A Grand Prize Eureka FREE during spring. rhyming | -butyou must / act quickly / r This great National Educational Offer for a limited time only, gives every woman a wonderful opportun ity to gain relief from old-fashioned cleaning methods. This Free Offer Good For a Limited Time Only Write, phone or call at our store to day and we will immediately deliver a new high-powered Eureka right to your door, and leave it for you to use just as if it were your own. There is no charge for this service, and you can learn from dally use, Juat how swiftly, easily and thoroughly the Eureka performs every cleanir\p task. Then if you wish to own the Eureka, pay only $4.75 Down—Balance Easy Monthly Payments We are,author!red to offer you, for a limited time only, a special low pay ment of $4.75 down, ahd unusually easy terms. But you must accept this offer at once, as our supply of Eurekto is limited, and the first come will be the first served. FOR LIMITED TIME down Eureka Vacuum Cleaner Co. 27 East 9th Street BALANCE EASY PAYMENTS of them than to kid ourselves about voluntary subscriptions. SAM COOK. •BACK SEAT’ MIGHT RESULT IF $5 FEE FAILS, To the Editor: Today, I heard a rather wealthy student say that the proposed fee was a hardship on the poor man who was working his or her way through college. I also heard a boy who has earned every cent it took to keep him in college for the last four years ar gue the fairness and desirability of the amendment. He said in part, j “It only means three or four J extra hours of work a month, or j | a matter of $1.65. Some little hard-j I ship on me—yes. But the thing means so much to the University ■that I am glad to make the extra effort. There isn’t a man or worn- 1 an here, that would be forced to ! leave because of it, and it will not ] keep any one away, who is fit to j come. I. “If this thing goes through it means that we get the buildings we need. If it fails we will be forced THE OLD RELIABLE "MAC” "JACK” VARSITY BARBER SHOP 11th and Alder "after every meal Take care of your teeth! Use Wrigley's regularly. It removes food particles from the crevices. Strength ens the gums. Combats acid mouth. Refreshing and beneficial! F57 SEALED TIGHT KEPT RIGHT i I I OREGON NIGHTS ^(fiiajsfsis/sjaisjaEiaEisiaiSEJsisisjsi7' The few hours of sleep that you do get must be com fortable. Buy your Mattresses direct from the factory. Also have your over-stuffed furniture repaired and re covered. Guaranteed as good as new. O’Brien’s Mattress & Upholstery Co. Phone 399 391 8th East i to lower our standards and take a back seat among universities. What student would rather not contribute a little extra than be graduated from a second rate institution!” LILLIAN BAKER. FIFTEEN DOLLARS A TEAR Since it seems that about the only real argument that has been presented against the proposed amendment to add $5.00 a term to the registration fees, I wish to raise the question whether this ar (Continued on page four) Lemon “O” Barber Shop Up-to-date Hair Cutting Bert Vincent, Prop. ICE CREAM N Whenever friends get together for a refreshing chat, there is no dish' that is equal to Blue Bell Ice Cream A FLAVOR OR COMBINATION OF FLAVORS TO TICKLE EVERY PALATE Eugene Farmer’s Creamery Oh Boy! Look Who’s Here— Genuine Mexican Dishes Enchilades Del Heavo Enchiledes Del Maize Tortico Del Maize Chicken Tamales Texas Tamales (Hot) Chile Con Carne Chile Mack Spanish Chicken Pies Frijoles “AND YES” Chinese Chicken Noodles Chinese Pork Noodles _All Above Dishes Made in Our Kitchen IMPERIAL LUNCH 727 WILLAMETTE STREET CRITICS! “I Cast My Bread on the Waters and It Came Back Sandwiches,” said Isadore Solomon. And New York said: “If you wish to laugh until you are exhausted, witness and enjoy this play for the interest never fails and it is the best comedy of its kind ever given in New York.” And it Hits Eugene —on the wings of a veritable gale of laughter! Starting TODAY —for 2 big days! AIGMT AL**YS tty come ft -with Florence Vidor Virginia Brown Faire Lloyd Hughes Wm. V. Mong M M Dore Davidson The picturization of the Aaron Hoffman play which had New York and Chicago roaring for two years. Noah Beery Robert Edeson Otis Harlan "AUVAY3 THE B65T POW THE «ggX» GU,m» CENTURY COMEDY NEWS WEEKLY >WJWEE kids K>« WHERE PRICES ARE fi£V£ff RAISE*