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About Vernonia eagle. (Vernonia, Or.) 1922-1974 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 25, 1936)
VERNONIA EAGLE. VERNONIA. OREGON Something Else Inquisitive Employer — Ella, what’s become of old Simon? Ella (the cook)—He done died wid lead poisonin’. Employer — Lead poisoning? I didn’t know Simon was a painter. Ella—Nossuh, he was in de chicken business.—Pathfinder. thinks about Defenders of Communism ANTA, MONICA, CALIF. —Every time I write a squib against communism, there fol lows a flood of letters from per Forgotten Age sons who begin by saying The Son—I’ve got to write a theme in English on the women they’re not communists—perish of the Middle ages. What do you the thought. S But either I’m attacking free know about ’em, dad? Father — There aren’t any. speech — as though free speech They’re all girls, young matrons meant free license to undermine our government; or, by indirection. I'm and dear old ladies. Call Again Servant (to professor in bed)— The doctor is here to see you, sir. Professor (absent-mindedly)—I can’t see him now. Tell him I’m mi Who's Looney? A man in an insane asylum sat fishing over a flower-bed. A vis itor wishing to be friendly walked up and said, “How many have you caught today?” “You’re the ninth,” replied the nut.—The Bee-Hive. Reverse the Charges Taxi Driver — That’ll be one buck an’ a half, young feller. Young Feller — Gosh! — Say, you’d better back up to 75 cents. That’s all I’ve got! CHEST C Found Amazing RELIEF from PAIN No need to Buffer agony of muscu lar aches and pains! Thousands report wonderful soothing relief with Hamlins Wizard Oil. 2ust rub it on—rub it in. Acts quick. Re eves that terrible soreness. Loosens up stiff, achy muscles. Has a pleasant odor. Will not stain clothes. At all druggists. HAMLINS WIZARD OIL For MUSCULAR ACHES and PAINS Due to RHEUMATISM -NEURALGIA LUMBAGO -CHEST COLDS trying to undermine trade unionism, al though what trade unionism has i n common with com munism is some thing which I don’t quite see. One camouflaged red — or anyhow he must be reddish— states there are on ly 100,000 known communists among Irvin S. Cobb 120,000,000 of us, so why worry? But wouldn’t you worry if 100,000 lepers were suffered to go at large among us, or 100,000 stinging lizards to run wild? • • » Alice Faye /7udd Ata/iion Plunkett ÍIS Kerri «N ear OLD MISS or LNKJNb MACS. HAS Seesi a steeple - jack fok - OMBB. TtNO NEARS. SMe ADMITS IT Tb SE ATPKlLUNG- JOB ANO BEMBALED TUeee- is excellent MQNeM in PAINT- IN15 FLAG FOLps FCC- A LNIN&« IO HATt TO Be COOQTIM heard the mascot's first wild howl, suddenly silenced : as the noose drew together, Above, apparently self executed, the cub, snorting inter- mittently, , writhed upward, using his paws, got a straddle of another limb, there to recover his breath. Up the bole of the jack pine the old bear again scrambled, further adding to her perplexities. She couldn't understand why her cub, making manly efforts to descend at her request, toppled from his perch Chapters From Canada's Jungle and all but hung himself four times Book—The Bear Mascot hand running. In each instance she N A previous visit to Jas boosted him back to safety, but could not get him free. An Indian per Park in the Canadian who witnessed the preliminary con i Rockies I have always made it following the disappearance fusion part of my program to drop of the football team, came in to into the warden headquarters Jasper Park and notified the game of the park and sandbag my old wardens of the unfortunate bear's predicament. Davi/ “Smltty’s” Travels. EADING about t. police sergeant who retired after forty years’ service and never set foot off of his native Manhattan island made me think of a gentleman known a s "Smitty” who, in my reportorial days on Park Row, was general roustabout at Andy Horn’s saloon. Smitty was born in the shadow of Brooklyn bridge and grew up there. He had traveled the various boroughs, but no matter where he > went was always within the greater city. Finally he took a tour to for eign parts. He went to visit his , sister, who’d married a truck gard . friend H. S. Davis for a column “Mystified by what was occurring ener back of Newark, and the broth ■ dealing with the private lives er-in-law, who owned a car, toured 1 of wild animals or birds, with midst the branches of the gallows tree, she was not inclined to allow Smitty about the landscape. I was one who greeted Smitty on ( which he holds the same sort of any one to approach the scene of communion that exists between action. his return. “Fur me,” he said, "never againl thoroughbreds and horse train- An Aerial Rescue I don't like that Joisey. Why, all 1 ers. them towns over there is got dif- "Ten feet distant from the tree oc Nature has no secrets that he does ferent names.” hot share. All wild things are com cupied by the mascot stood another • • • rades with him. This time I asked pine. Whatever of rescue was to be tried must be done from there by Dolling Up Lobbyists. tor a bear story. the climbing expert, who was ready HAT ever became of the bill I “An old or a young bear?" with a long pole to which had been “Both” V V introduced introf * into ........................ the Louisiana legislature requiring lobbyists to i “That brings to mind," he said, woven a sharp hunting knife. Moth wear special uniforms while follow “the time when a football club from er bear resented his every attempt ing their trade? As I recall the Hamilton turned up in the park in to reach the tree and scale it As a last resort those present, armed original act, it provided that lob search of a bear mascot. byists of less than three years’ ex “Securing fifty feet of sashweight with brickbats, rushed the mother perience should wear green skull cord they went into the brush and bear, pelting her until she changed caps and rainbow-hued plaid trous .located a four months’ cub, appar her position long enough for the pole ers; veterans were to wear the ently alone, which they lassoed and lineman to get out of the danger green caps and all-white suits, prepared to make captive. Bad zone and install himself in the which latter seemed especially ap business in a bear country. Before tree which adjoined the cub’s quar propriate, white being the color for they had time to effect a huddle ters. purity. “Every attempt on the part of the or arrange means for the get-away, It’s just too bad if ihe notion has mother bear, accompanied by two rescuer to cut away the sash cord been allowed to languish. And if an other cubs, turned up apparently entanglements was frustrated by amendment were tacked on requir from nowhere and routed the pig the cub's repeated slapping at the ing that a certain type of legislator skin kickers, who fled, leaving the I lade tied on the pole. Great cau must wear garments with no pock mascot with the sash weight cord tion was necessary to avoid wound ets in them and buttoning up the still noosed upon his neck. ing the captive, violently opposed to back, princesse style, so the wear “Young bruin, glad of freedom, the efforts that were being made er couldn’t slip anything inside his bolted for a jack pine and swarmed for his preservation. bosom—well, there you'd have an into the branches fifty feet aloft, “Again the old bear returned to the idea that any state in the Union the cord trailing behind. Mother could profitably adopt, or, anyhow, bear, bewildered by the long, flap the tree and made a final attempt to reach her now highly inarticulate almost any state. ping cord attached to her offspring, cub. still enraged in batting at the • • • shinned up after him and made knife which the lineman adroitly an investigation, which developed kept out of range. Presently, in Styles in Women's Hats. She the midst of our joint maneuvers AVE you noticed those sub-divi nothing to her satisfaction. sional hats the women are tried to coax him down, to rejoin the mascot—endowed with good wearing this season?If not, kindly brother and sister bear waiting at luck—twisted himself into a knot and was rendered helpless to strike do so. It’ll distract your attention the bottom of the tree. at the long-handled knife designed from the part-time frocks some of Young Bruiu Hangs Himself. for his liberation. With one swift them are wearing. “Stubborn at the outset, but finally The average woman is wearing iallowing himself to be persuaded, thrust forward and upward the what looks like part of a hat—say | the mascot, cautiously at first, be- blade severed the cord close to the one-half to two-thirds. I’ve heard Igan backtracking downward club's neck, freed the tension and the more of the original hat the ¡through the thick branches, com- gave young bruin his liberty. With milliner chopped off, the higher , ing presently to grief when the sash a howl of joy the football mascot went the price for what was left. cord, entangled, yanked him from started down, slipped, landed on I suppose with hats, as in the-case the lower limbs and tightened as his mother now half way up the of a good clean appendix opera he slipped into space, leaving the jack pine, and knocked her loose. tion, if they'd cut the entire thing cub suspended—that is to say, hung. They hit the welcome earth of Al berta Province with great violence, away, only very wealthy women Quite so. the mother recovering first, only could afford to go bare-headed. “Mother bear, already down and to begin licking her offspring.” t IRVIN 8. COBB. waiting with the other two cubs, i rTaarrl.kl —WNTT R O Chicken Casserole small onions cup of peas cup of string beans cups of sliced carrots cups of diced celery broiling chicken One broiling chicken put under the broiler until nice and brown. Add % cube of butter; then put in casserole dish; then add one stick of butter and put vegetables in each corner. Brown one table spoonful of flour in butter then put in oven with cover on and steam until vegetables are ten« der. Serve hot. Copyright.—WNU Servlc«. The abbreviation k. stands for karat, which in this sense means the twenty-fourth part, of hence 18-k. gold means a metal eigh teen parts gold and six parts oth er metals, usually copper and sil ver in proportion to make the desired color. The chief use of alloys, or other metals, is to brace and improve the wearing quali ties of gold, which in its pure con dition bends and wears easily. SOOTHING TO TIRED EYES Modern living puts such a strain on the eyes that more and more people are finding Murine as necessary as a dentifrice in their morning and evening toilet routine. Murine gently and pleasantly relieves irritation, washes away the invisible dust, gives amazing comfort when eyes are watery and inflamed by a cold. 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