Image provided by: Tillamook County Library
About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 17, 1911)
T illamook SILVER BOWL SEEING A JOKE. Jl of Water, and it Puzzled * Week End Guest j young politician in New ‘this story on blmself. He ■ recently to spend a week buutry bouse where things a notch or two more eiab- hn be was accustomed to. nd tn not a little awe of the freon who was assigned to kporary valet to him. The me when this functionary bls door on Sunday morning |m It was 8 o'clock. It. 1’1» get up." said tbe vte- he solemn man disappeared Btbroom. from wblcb pres- bolse of water running Into lb was audible. In half a re tbe solemn person emerg- | a large silver bowl full of h which he approached tbe It Depends on the Brand of Humor to Which One la Accustomed. Foreigners, as a rule, do not under stand our wit and bumor. Sir Alfred iJarnmwortb ouce remarked to me, says a writer in the St Louis Globe Democrat, that American bumor was coarse and sometimes brutal. Mark Twain and Finley Peter Dunne are tbe only American humorists wbo are accepted by Englishmen. On tbe other hand, we do not appreciate tbe bumor of I'uucb. tbe Englishman's delight I bave yeen an Englishman laugb heartily over a Joke in Punch that I ’ couldn't see any point to until It was explained to me. and no doubt that gentleman considered me as dense as we consider them when we tell them a runny story and get a sort of pained look, ratber mystifying to be sure. In stead of the laugb which was expected It Is tbe local application of tbe Joke that counts tbe world over Tbe fun nlest thing I ever saw was tbe charge a yearling Hereford bull made at a barbed wire fence in tbe Texas Pan handle. He struck tbe fence full tilt, and the rebound cnused him to turn a complete back somersault. He landed on bls hoofs all right, and there be 1 stood all straddled out wltb a look or astonishment on bte face that was al most buman. It was so ludicrous that ; I lay down in tbe mesquite grass and rolled over In spasms of mirth. Then 1 be began to bawl like a whipped child, turned tall and ran as from a bansbee. I was at dinner In a Bradford club and told about It expecting to get a laugb. but all I got was this from Hon Stnltb Feather, mayor of that York shire city: “By Jove. I didn't know those wire fences were so strong. It's a Jolly good thing the poor brute wasn't tn Jured.” let have seen tbe astonlsh- |y face.” said tbe New York- ■idn't conceal It. it was a hr game to me. and 1 didn't Ether 1 was expected to dip in It or to drink It It was ■loment, but that man was a I He realized my embarrass- I be Just let drop in a cold and I as if be bad outsiders to | every day, the simple ex- íperatnre of your bawtb. York Sun. EATER SEATS. keying Indeed It Was Before Ihey Wore Numbered. who nowadays book tbelr keband for tbe play cannot of tbe discomfort of other ■stance of wblcb is given by le In “Comedy Queens of the Era.” I Charles Matthews' newspa- |gs.” be says, “contains a let- a disgusted playgoer dated 1776. protesting against tbis f 'permitting a footman to ¡ act or two of a play next to of tbe first quality by way ig a place for his absent mas- WATERSPOUTS. headlight , august Chine ae a Bluffer. Professor Ian C Hannah tn hie book. “Eastern Asia—A History." says that taxicabs, or, rather, automatic registers attached to horse cabs, were Invented about 630 A. D., durlug the Tang dynastry In China In bls opin ion tbe Chinese empire is “tbe great est bluff in the world," and It sug gests to him a very ancient Chinese fable, which he relates. A monkey was captured by a tiger. He whined that be was thin and bls flesh of poor taste, but he knew of a fine fat donkey for the tiger. The ti ger consented to be led to where the donkey was tied. When the donkey saw tbem coming he was frightened, but recovered bis composure and bawl ed In bls masterful donkey voice: “Monkey, you used to bring me two tigers. Why only one today?" Tbe tiger did a record bustle back to tbe Jungle. China, says Professor Hannah, has shown much of that donkey’s resource fulness in its history. * amount of money a person has which makes him or ber a parasite on soci ety. but the way it is used. “Tbe wife of an American million aire," says Mrs. Schreiner, "was visit ed by a woman, the daughter and wid ow of a small professional man. She stated that sbe was in need of both food and clothing. Tbe millionaire's wife gave ber a leg of mutton and two valuable dresses. Tbe woman pro ceeded to whine, though in vigorous health, that she had no one to carry tbem home for ber. Tbe American, the descendant of generations of able, laboring. New England Puritan wom en, tucked the leg of mutton under one arm and tbe bundle of clothes un der the other and walked off down the city street toward the woman's dwelling, followed by the astonished pauper parasite." The Timtd Ono. Aa odker in tbe army, noted for bls bravery, langbed at a timid woman be lauae sbe was alarmed st the noise of a cannon when a salute was fired. Tbe brave odk-er eotoeqnently mar ried that timid woman, and six months afterward be took off hl« t>oo<e In «he ball when be came In late at nlgbt -lx>ndon Telegraph Loss of Time Means L'ss of Pay. Many a Suffering Woman Drags herself painfully through her daily tasks, suffering from backache, hendache, nervousness, loss of appetite and poor sleep., not knowing her ills are due to kidney and bladder troubles. Foley Kid ney Pills give quick relief from pain and misery and a prompt return to health anil strength. .No woman who so suffers can afford to over look Foley Kidney Pills. Chas. I. Clough Co. ; i I r i B AYOCEAN Leaves PORTLAND Tuesdays. ,, POR TLA ND Saturdays. ,, BAYOCEAN Mondays. „ BA YOCEAN Thursdays. Round trip from Portland to Bay ocean, $10.00. Further information apply to T B. POTTER REALTY CO.’S Office at Bayocean, or phone. Child Portraits Made by Us are Child-Like. Just as cur portraits of adults possess strength and character. We are experts in lighting and posing, and our equipment is complete. Come in and see our line. ai ■ • .« * * • • i • Monk's Studio, The valued family re ■ cipes for cough and cold i cure, Next to the Post Office. liniments, Tonics and other remedies have as careful attention here as the most intricate prescrip tions. Our fresh, high grade drugs will help to make these remedies more effec tive than ever. Right prices assured. are ÿlso The Reliable Route Steamer “ Sue H. Elmore” (CAPT P. SCHRADER) CLOUGH, Reliable Druggist. Tillamook & Portland. --------------------------------------- ’------------ ------------------------- > Foley Kidney Pills TONIC IN ACTION - QUICK IN RESULTS Give prompt relief from BACKACHE, KIDNEY and BLADDER TROUBLE, RHEUMATISM, CONGESTION of the KIDNEYS, INFLAMMATION of the BLADDER and all annoying URINARY IRREGULARITIES. A positive boon to MIDDLE AGED and ELDERLY HtOPLE and for WOMEN. NAVK HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION IA. Dari«, tS7 Wanhirurton BL, ConnernTill» lad., is in hi* year. lie writes us: ‘T have lately suffered much from n>jr kidue« • and blad der I had severe back aches and my kiduey action was too frequent, causing mn to lone much Bleep at night, and in my bladder there was constant pain. I took Foley Kidney Pills for s<»mo time, and am now free of all trouble and again able tc bo up and around. Foley Kidney Pills have my highest rocommeudatioD.*' C.I. CLOUGH. Tillamook. TOWER’S FISH WATERPROOF OILED CLOTHING will give you full value for every dollar spent and keep you dry in the wettest weather. SUITS »322 SLICKERS *12,92 POMMEL SUCkEilf- •302 sat nnn^ict AJ.T ower C o . B oston , us a . Town C anadian C o uwrza Toaemo cm -------- Leaves Portland, Couch St. Dock Every Tuesday, Arrives Tillamook Wednesdays. Sailing for Portland, every Thursday or Friday according to Tides. PACIFIC NAVIGATION COMPANY. H. C. LAMB, Agent, S. ELMORE A CO, Lamb’s Dock, Tillamook. Orc. Agentn, Antoriu, Ore I. W. W. BROWN, Agent, Couch Street Dock, Portland, Oregon. f/OREGDNÁGRICULTURAL COLLEGE P diûniitinû THE k- INDUSTRIES -----------; Thl. Is tbe till* of a beautiful ee-pago HU whltb will «bow aay boy or girl how w SUCCI» Bros • pootal in Un null TODAT and 1« will bn nnnt ran Tbe aim ef Uo Collega Io U «InUy and sosularlio tb. induotrioo, and to corvo AU Uo pooplo. ItoSoro couroo* In Agriculture. Civil tnglaooriag, Bloctrloal Znglnoorlng. ■oobaaleal Zuginoortag. Blnln« Engin oorlnc, Porootry. boaoootta. Science and Ari. Coa morco. FbarmAoy and Muele. 7bo Collose eneas September lad Catajos free. Addroea BZOISTBAS. OSBGOB AOKICVLTVBAX COLLtas. Corvelli*. Oregon. ------------------------- :—-i MAJOR WEITZEL, Registered No. 33271. Chamberlain's Cough Remedy During lb« peel 36 year* no roue- ody baa proven mora promt»* or ■poro «ffocwal In Ito aurea of Coughs. Colds and CrouD tBnnCbamboriatn’a Cough Bamedy In many botano It la rolled upon a. Im pIMtly aa the family pbyetclan I.ron mlns no opina. or « ber narooUc, and may bo given aa oonfldently to a baby astone adult. Price 35c. large eta* MAe Owe Virtue. Tbe Lady-Poor tramp! Have you OPPOSITE THE ALLEN HOUSE. anything In yoer Hfe to he proud of? Stillwell Ave. on-1 Fira The Hot» Teseum I never beat no Corner body out of no laundry Mil.-Toted» St. West, and both Phones. Blade T< The flecu Ocean Going Yaeht FAMILY RECIPES. Tillamook Bakery, 1 I I Attack Like Tigers. In fighting to keep the blood pure the white corpuscles attack disease germs like tigers. But often germs multiply so fast the little fighters are overcome. Then see pimples, boils, eczema, salt rheuiu and sores multiply and strength and appetite fail. This condition demands Elec tric Bitters to regulate stomach, liver and kidneys and to expel poi sons from the blood. “They are the best blood purifier,” writes C. T. Budahn, of Tracy, Calif., “I have ever found.” They make rich, red blood, strong nerves and build up your health. Try them. 50c at Chas. I. Clough's. Kidney trouble and the ills it breeds means lost time and lost pay to many a working man. M. Ba lent. 1214 Little Penna St., Strea tor, 111., was so bad from kidney and bladder trouble that lie could not work, but he says: '‘I took Foley Kidney Pills for only it short time and got entirely well and was soon able to go back to work, and am feeling well and healthier than before.” Foley Kidney Pills are Two Women. tonic in action, quick in results--a In her book “Woman and Labor" good friend to the working man or Olive Schreiner gives an amusing Illus woman who suffers from kidney tration of the fact that It is not tbe ills. Chas. I. Clough Co. Old Tims Mariners Fought Them With Noise and Cannon. In tbe waterspout tbe medieval The Size of Some Stare. mariner saw a malevolent living mon- M. Nordmann of the Paris observa ster-a sea dragon. There were vari ous means of combating tbem. Once tory believes that be has devised all sailors carried black handled knives, a successful method of determining fecency of tbe practice is wblcb the monster was believed to tbe diameters of stars by a comparison of their effective temperatures with * aggravated by tbe usual bold In special abhorrence. tbe dirtiest servant of tbe When a spout made its appearance tbelr parallaxes. In the case of some I this duty, for tbe men of these knives were produced and point of the brightest stars be has reached d figure are to prance be- ed In Its direction, waved In tbe air so Interesting results. Thus he finds that • lady's chair with lighted as to make tbe sign of tbe cross or. ac Aldebaran, tbe bright star in Taurus, 'or bang like a rope of on- cording to tbe recommendation of cer is veritably a giant sun. the ratio of ita fl her coach.' tain contemporary authorities, driven diameter to that of our sun being HDedy for this nuisance the i several times into tbe side of tbe ship. greater than that of tbe sun to the this letter made tbe revolu- Certain passages from the gospel of planet Jupiter. This means that Aide ggestion that tbe sittings in St. John weri recited aa charms baran has a diameter probably not less than 8,000.000 miles, or more than Should be numbered, a plan against waterspouts. thirty times the distance from tbe a not seem to bave occnr- A loud noise of any kind was also r one previously and which believed to be efficacious against tbem earth to the moon. On the other hand, dopted till long afterward." —shouts, tbe clash of swords, tbe beat Sirius. or the dog star, to our eyes th* brightest of all tbe stars, is, accord Gentlewoman. ing of drums and gongs, ete Tbe cus Ing to M. Nordmann. but little larger tom of firing cannon against water than our sun. Woman In Tibet. spouts. says tbe Scientific American, Bg the manners of Tibetans dates back at least as far as tbe rtx- Juggernaut. i writes: “Tbe male part • f teentb century. The original Idea ap Juggernaut—or “lord of the world’ population is fond of meet- pears to have been to frighteo tbem er for frivolous conversation away by tbe noise of the report, but in —was supposed to be one of tbe In carnations of Krishna. The Idol Is Itable and unsuitable occa- tbe later times it was believed that tbe formed of an irregular pyramidnl black • most the men do is to go watery column could be cut In twain Bd robbing, Tbe domestic by the cannon ball and tbe spout thus stone, with two large diamonds to rep resent eyes. The nose and mouth are b as tending the cattle, col- dissipated. It would be interesting to painted vermilion. An Immense num Bl. drawing water and. in know whether tbe cannonading of wa ber of pilgrims visit tbe idol annually, ly thing. falls on tbe women. terspouts is atlll sometimes practiced wife is working incessantly reaching up into tbe millions. Jogger- It was certainly common much less Ig tbe husband grows weary naut worship used to be a terrible than a century ago. It la hardly nec less and does not go to her thing, but it is not wbat It once was. essary to say that it la entirely futile. unless she is physically ln- Tbe state allowance to the temple was ' doing any work at all. On suspended by tbe Indian government The Bawbee. tbe women are as dexterous In 1831. and tbe festivals nre growing Englishmen are familiar with the B. To catch any horse sbe less and leas popular year by year name "bawbee." applied to tbe Scotch if tbe troop, lay her band on Tbe growing Intelligence of tbe people halfpenny, but to few does it bring tbe ind quickly spring on to tbe and tbe restraining Influence of tbe is barebacked steed and ride association of a baby queen and a loy government are doing tbelr work, and al people. It appears that tbe first at i direction sbe wishes Is an Juggernaut is steadily losing ground.— •at for any young Amdo wo- tempt at tbe portraiture of tbe unfor New York American. tunate Mary, queen of Scots, was made Icago News in her infancy, and her small face was Tea Tremona. engraved upon tbe Scottish halfpen The Oil Bird. "1 used to be a tea taster in Han nies at tbe time of ber coronation In the animal curiosities of kow." said a New York tea dealer, •rica la tbe “oli bird." of 1543. when the was but nine months "but I got a bad attack of tea tremeus ! It breeds In rocky caves. old. A number of these small coins and .had to give up tbe job. Tea t its favorite baunta is tbe are still preserved, and it will be easi tremens is a recognized disease among Trinidad. It lays ita eggs ly understood bow tbe name “bawbee." Chinese tea tasters. These men don't Bade of mud. and tbe young or baby, came to be given to tbe coin swallow a drop of tea from one week's i prodigiously fat Tbe na- i bearing tbe effigy of tbe baby. Tbs end to another. They simply bold tbe I tbe fat down tn clay pots halfpenny of Scotland is still common tea In the mouth, get an Idea of Its ce from it a kind of butter. ly called tbe bawDoe. although tbe baby aroma and then eject It but neverthe I inhabited by tbe birds are : face no longer appears on IL—Pear less the aroma of tbe tea causes vio feasible only from tbe tea. son'a lent nervous attacks, with sleepless I ■ - biting of them la sometimes ness and even hallucinations that are Fsport The Wise Bride. known all over China as tea tremens “Yes. the girls gave tbe bride a com | bave never Lad delirium tremens miseration ebower." Word of Wrath. bet If It’s one-half as bad as tbe tea “rabbits" on board a Corn “What tn tbs world is tbatT” sort I pity tbe poor victim ” -Why. they all told ber bow sorry mark arouses the Ire of the ■Id tbe bated word be nt- they were she was going to marry When a Soft Drink Is Hard. ' boat is leaving tbe harbor such a ma? as tbe coming bride- “Tou are arrested on s very serious ird expedition tbe speaker charge, my g<K>d man." began tbe d a fair chance of being court looking at the man severely board. Tbe mere mention "Tou are accused of getting Into s ' destroys all chances of a fight and hitting tbe complainant over xidon Chronicle. the bead with a bottle. Wbat bave yen to say for yourself?" "Tonr honor. I didn't mean to hnrt th* him I never tboogbt that It would hurt him very much, 'cause tbe bot tie contained nothing but a soft drink." returned the prisoner. — Milwaukee Free Fanes bave 17, 1011 Tbrev would net be ee many opan PE Cl AL TV IN ALL KINO Cf CfSIB moeth* If «bere were Mt aa maur epen earn. BaB. ALL KIND Of HUS. I Having ao thoroughly established ard maintained hi> reputation as one of the highest classed prize winning Stallions of this coast, and the producer of colts that wins the blue ribbons among the very best and highest classed colts of the state, it is not necessary to comment on quality. He wiil continue being at the Roger’s Livery Stable, in Tillamook, until Monday, July loth. Commencing at tint time will start for Nehalem, on Mon day mornings and returning on Wednesday evenings until Sep tember rst. I will return to Tillamook County next summer with both stallions, Major Weitzel, No. JJJ7r. and Lord Rex, No. 4W6J. I am in the field for business. Respectfully yours, E. F ROGERS, VS. Mutual Telephone.
