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About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 6, 1910)
< I TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JANUARY 6. 1910 BOlTS, T. Gladdening a Humorist. The financial burden which Mark Twain carried some years ago weigh'd on bln mind beavlly. tn those mo menta of despondency there was ou* tactful friend who could make the hu morist forget bia troubles. This was Dan Beard, tbe artist who Illustrated some of Twain's books. “Dan Heard, there Is no tonic that can equal tbe company of a cheerful mail." said tbe humorist as be entered tbe artist's studio. “Ah. but 1 have such a pleasant sub ject to work upon that I am not In need of either man or tonic for my cheerfulness.'' retorted the artist. "Beg pardon; It Is I that need the tonic, and tbat Is why 1 am here." said Twain forlornly. "Then allow me to prescribe a d«*e -of your own medicine." And Mark was banded a copy of bls book which Beard bad been studying. “I thank yon.” refilled the humorist. “It took me a yeur to get tbat medi cine ou’ of my system, and I do not propose to Itublbe It again.” A discusstem of the book was fol lowed by a bearty dinner, and T wain left hla friend, bating received I tbe cheer tbat be needed. Tho Alligator's Tongue. On oue occasion when traveling along tbe west coast of Africa wltb an old skipper wbo bud known many mlMlooarias, but "did not see Ibe use of tbetu.” Bishop Taylor Smith was obliged to endure a string of taunting questions, oueb st "Wbat was tbe good of spouting at Elder hull?” slid "Wbat did missionaries know, any- way?” At last the bishop could eta nd It no longer. Turning to tbe skipper, be said: “I know yon are an expert. Can you tell mt tbe leugtb of uu nlllgntor's tongue/' "Certainly," was tbe reply, "lint It depends on tbe length of tbe alligator." "Very well, tbeu; given an alligutor fifteen feet long, what would bo the length of Its tongue/' “Three feet." waa the answer, But tbe bishop, wbo had kept • III- gators aud watched tbelr ways, knew belter. "It la evident tbat you are hii authority on tbe west coast of Africa." be «aid. "but It la also ei Ident that some people see more In ten minutes than others lu twenty years. l.et me TeH -you tbat au alligator bus no tongue.” Declinod the Job. A writer of cheap fiction relates a trick played on blm by a collaborator lu tbe days when dime novela were longer than they are now. anil the compensation made It worth while for two men to write one atory between them. After bla partner had Uitlahed tbe Bret chapter of tbelr Initial col laboration It was handed over with tbe following announcement: "There. I've just thrown the hero over a tbouaaud foot cliff and told the reader tbat nothing could prerent the lad from falling to death ou tbe rocks belbw. It Is up to you to save the bo»." The Other writer said nothing, but eat down and wrote furiously for an boar. Then he quietly banded I lie manuscript back. A glance at tbe eeound chapter showed tbe funny man tbat bls friend had completely Ignored tbe events In tbe first part of tbe story. Introduced a new aet of char acters and left tbe hero still banging over tbe cliff, waiting to tie rescued by bls creator.—New York Ruu. Pastry Didn't Save Them. A New York prisoner act used of driinkeuneaa wbo pleaded hla case le rhyme before a magistrate got a aeu- teiice of six months ou "tbe island." tor. aa tbe judge remarked, bls "Jag" Wa« bad euougb. but bls imrtry was worse. Over In Ixiudou a "plalu druuk" pqt forth tbla: I've been drinkins wine lhet le drawn from the wood; Ne bottle rubbish. but eperkjlns end good •of II sot In my head, co my friend* all ex plain That the wine haa gone bach to the wood once again the effuelou aud Ibe celebration cost Mb 10 etillllnga. —Nvw York Tribune. I I K ■ I Collega •antimoni. Or. Rlnnk. about twenty year« n Itnfraaor In a cartata college, was on th eve of a trip tv Europe. to tie ab- •»at two years, lu pathetic and rath ♦r harrowing tonco be made bla fare- vali addrraa to bla clan. "Yea, I am about Io part wltb Joo Tbla la nmrv than distressing lo me. Would tbat there waa a window In my kreaat. my dear boya, that you might tbe Innermost recee.ee of my Mart." A strilli!ng In the rear, seized wltb 1 happy ttmugtif shouted "Professor. would a pane Io the atonia- b do?”-Lippincott's. tbat haunted your hand» no d*. Baffled. Twb brothers were ones at Count von Moltke's house at an evening party. Both were cnptalns of tbe gen eral staff. Tbe general came up to a group of gentlemeu. ons of whom was one of tho brothers. After joining In the conversation be said to the latter: “Just tell me wbo Is tbat tall officer near tbe fireplace on tbe other side. 1 forget his name.” “That’s my brother, jour excel- leucy.” was tbe answer. A smile stealing over the general’s face suggested the Idea tbat be had not obtained tbe Information be wish ed. Some time after tbe general went to another group of people and there joined tbe officer whose name be had Inquired. Suddenly the others saw blm tnrulng away, wltb the same smile on bls face. Afterward, when they inquired from tlm young officer wbat the general had asked blm. be replied: "He asked me wbo that officer was over there." “And what illil you say?" “I aald that be was my brother?" Th«« general gave up Inquiring the name of the two brothers for that evening. Wanted It to Take. Mrs R believed In Infant baptism, but for some reason tbat rite was not performed for Tommy till be was some four or five years old. While tbe cere mony was lu progress tbe mother was very much gratified wltb Tommy's be havior lie seemed duly Impressed wllli tbe solemnity of tbe occasion and remulned wltb bowed head for some Hine after the sprinkling bad been done. "The angel!" exclaimed tbe mother. "Tbe little dear!" said a good sister as she weut up to give blm a "God bless you" and n pat ou the bead. But Just as her baud was descending wltb tbut benediction a very wrathful and uunngellc couuteuunee «as turned upon her. a pugilistic little list deliv ered a paralyzing blow on ber biceps, and tbe Indignant TOtntny exclaimed. "You git away from here!” Of course be was led out In disgrace and questioned by his horrified mother "Why. don't you know she would 'a' rubbed Uli tbe baptizing water off be fore It would 'a' tind time to soak In/' explained Tommy, who from bls point of view was fully justified.-Los An geles Times. Buffoonery In “Hamlot.” The buffoonery once tolerated In pro vincial I heifers Is illustrated In an an ecdote set forth lu the memoirs of Bar ry Hulllvau. Wrlglit. wbo was tbe first gravedigger, prepared himself to take tbe house by storm by having Incased hla person wit bln a dozeu or more waistcoats of all sorts of shapes and p-itteins. When about to commence tbe operation of digging the grave for tbe fair Ophelia Wrlglit began to un wind by tnklug off waistcoat after waistcoat, which caused uproarious lutigliler among tbe audieuce. Hut as fust ns he relieved himself of one waistcoat Paul Bedford, tlie second gravedigger, Incased himself lu tbe castoff vests, which Increased tbe Ml- vos of luugtiter. for ns Wrlglit wae getting thinner I’nul grew fatter and fatter, Wright, seeing himself out done, kept on ibe remainder of ille waistcoats mid weut on wltb bls part quite crestfallen. How Sugar Melts. If we drop a lump of sugar Into a cup of ten we find It takes a consider able time to melt if allowed to remain at the bottom of tlie vessel, but If ue bold II up lu Hie Spoon uear the sur face of the liquid it dissolves much more rapidly. This is owing to tbe sugar as It melts rendering the |«>rtlou of tbe tea containing It heavier. 'J be sweetened part, therefore, descends, leaving tbe sugar constantly In contact wltb unsweetened or only lairtiatly sweetened tea—in fact, a continual circulation of fluid Is promoted until the whole Is dissolved. When the sugar Is placed or |iermltted to lie at tbe bottom of the cup It dissolves until the layer of fluid next It is thoroughly sweetened or saturated, when It prac- j tlcally ceases to dissolve any further, tbe sweetened and heavier stratum above It acting for n considerable time until tbe law of diffusion comes gradu ally into pla.v. like an impervious cov ering, in keeping back tbe lighter, un sweetened fluid above; bence tbe rea son also why stirring, in breaking up 1 tbe saturated layer and allowing ac cess to the unsweetened portion, is so effectual In bringing about Ibe uni form sweetening of tea. Life Is not In frequently sweetened by Ibe sume stir ring up process. The Family Pair. The wriggly stillness of the study period was broken by a slamming disir. and a tblu boy in dirty, ragged clothes slouched across tbe room. Halfway to the teacher's desk be drawled. "Pa wants tbat you should let Jim go borne right uow." As Miss Davis looked a little doubtful, be added. "lie kin come back right away." Tbe permission given, the two badly soiled, half Htarv<«d sons of the most shiftless family In the district sLuffled down tbe stairs. Very shortly Jim re turned. wearing n pleased and fmpor tunt smile on bls pathetic little face. “I come ns soon's I could. Pa’s brother's dyin' to Poplar." be announc ed cheerfully. “That's why pa wanted me.” "But you weren't gone long; you didn't stay home. I can't see why you went nt all." answered tbe bewildered Miss Davis. "Why. pa's goln'," explained Jim. "Yes. but wlint has tbat to do wltb you?" iisktsl the teacher. “Pa bad to hnve bla euapenders.” waa Jim's matter of fact reply.—Ex change. EYES AND TEETH. You spend from $5. flO to $20.00 per year on and think nothing of it. Which would you prefer to loose : your teeth » s The Frying Pan. "People are alwaya decrying the fry ing pan." said an experienced cook, “but the thlug they refer to—cooking meat. etc.. In n shallow pau with but ter aa fat—Isn't really frying It; It Is sautelug. Tbe real frylug pan Is a deep kettle filled with bot clear lard or olive oil. In tbls tbe food-dougb- nut. croquette or whatever It may be ta linineraed just long euougb to make It crisp and browu on the outside and feathery and light on tbe Inside. Fond cooked In tbla way la entirely digesti ble If properly made. But so many cooks make tbe mistake of putting too much sbortenlug In Ibe mixture to lie fried, and tbe fat Inside, combining wltb tbe fat outside, prevents Ibe for mation of tbe crisp crust aud uiakes tbe food soggy. Hi« Idea of Economy. "lFu all very well for you to preach economy." uM bis wife, “but I noite-e whenever I cut down expenses tbit you smoke belter cigars and apeud more money for your own pleasure than at aay other time.” "Watt, confound tt. what do you sup poso I want you to economise for. any wajr-Chk-ago Record Herald. in office. Taxes paid for non- Residents. Your eyes can lie looked after from $1.00 to about $».00, and this will be the total expense for about 3to 5 years, and often a great deal longer. Remember you can get NEW TEETH, but not NEW EYES- What VALUE do you place on YOUR EYES ? What per cent of insurance would you pay to keep them as good as at present ? Make yourself a ’Xmas, present of a pair of glasses? All work guaranteed to lie satisfactory in every respect. Dr, Henry E. Morris. Office opposite Post Office, Both phones. h cooper ’ $ « » © A ttorney - at -L aw , O regon . T illamook , C arl J Bargains in Canned Goods, Dried Fruits and Rasins. Tomatoes, $1.90 a case, 2 doz. Cans Corn . 2.20 a case, Peas 2.50 a case, Beans. 2.10 li Peaches • 3.30 il Pears . 3.90 11 Cherries . 3.75 li i j I i 50 50 25 25 25 25 lbs,, lbs., lbs., lbs., lbs., lbs., ATTOKNEY-AT-LAW, Office across the street and north from the Post Office. 11 il » il 11 A ttorney - at L aw . li il Office : Opposite Court House, 11 11 il 11 H. GOYNE, oy. Im- nee T illamook , O regon , $3.00 5.60 2.15 3 40 1.30 1.10 oad the if a i he Ings that with W. SEVERANCE, A ttor nev - at -L aw , O regon T illamook RAY FEED CO X haberlach , 11 3 CROWN RASINS FANCY DRIED APPLES.... FANCY PEACHES ............... FANCY APRICOTS ............. LARGE ITALIAN PRUNES SMALL ITALIAN PRUNES. te is i the gtion. laand »ere a in the -e for T. B-’ALS, M.D., PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, TILLA MUOK.J Office- Olson Building. Residence: Mrs. Weiss' house, west of Mrs. Walker's. g M. KERRON, ■n the boy ie Aurch, looses 1 mea PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, C oncrete B uilding . Tillamcok, Oregon^ R. T. M. SMITH, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, Office over J. A. Todd & Co.. »rofane f,drink n of no .-Orks of ‘ most merican ftli gon. joked to nd leave to them . w lowing a Tillamook, Ore. ay more ¡Jiment ’^^7’ »liable to I Every C. HAWK, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, BAY CITY, OREGON. r •worse, ¿lurch, ■ baa ■ V lhM • nation J a* he ;Bient ia llttempl ippreM. REAL ESTATE, F inancial A gent , Tillamook Iron Works General Machinists & Blacksmiths. Boiler Work, Logger’s Work and Hear; Forging. Fine Machine Work a Specialty. TILLAMOOK Tillamook, Oregon. t . k OREGON. J-^R. A. D. PERKINS, RESIDENT DENTIST. G ove . I. ery, just. Office In Sturgeon's Building. All Work Guaranteed. J HARNESS, COLLARS, etc. You Use Them. We Sell Them. W. A. WILLIAMS S CO., Next Door to Tillamook County Bank. TILLAMOOK. JJR p- J- sharp , DENTIST, Office across the street from the Court House. Dr. Wise’s office. sarchet , THE ALLEN HOUSE, The Fashionable Tailor. am Cleaning, Pressing and Repair« ing a Specialty. 9- Store in Heins Photographic Gallery. J. P. AUUEN, Proprietor. Headquarters for Travelling Men J^OBERT A. MILLER, Special Attention paid to Tourists. Comfortable Beds and Accommodation A ttobnky - at -L aw , I^and Titles, Land Office Busi ness and Mining Law. CUERN1NC & PRESSING Did You Ever Try neatly done BARRITO NEW FEED AND LIVER! BARN, at the TOGGERY 1 PORTLAND, If not, give him a call. Everything first-class. OREGON. Room. 306 Commercial Building. L amb Oenca Msnaa a SreciALTv. Z-A OWING Second block South of P.O. W. G. CAK OREGON. RESIDENT T . The Best Hotel A Frist Class Table. f«»r tbat for him. It? Mio- Nora- Complete set of Abstract Books YOUR EYES or YOUR TEETH ? The Power of Snails. One day by way of experiment 1 harnessed two coiumou garden snails to a toy gun carriage to see If they could pull It along, says a writer In a London magazine. Although I lip gun carriage was a heavy leuden one. tbe snails pulled It so easily tbat I loaded tbe body of tbe carriage wltb small shot. Tbe snails, however, were more than equal to tbe task. Anxious to test their powers still further, 1 at tached a toy cannon (made of lend and brass* behind the guu carriage, but tbe snails and tbelr additional load moved ou ouce again wltb tbe same apparent ease. Out of curiosity I decided to weigh tbe cannon, guu carriage and shot and to my great surprise found tbe total weight to be almost one pound. 1 venture to tblnk tbls a very good load for two snails to manage. An Awkward Selection. The first Baron Keuyou was rather fond of telling the story of bow wblla on circuit with Justice Hook they en tered a village Juat lu time to accom pany tbe isipulatlon to tbe little vil lage church. Tbe imrlsb clerk, anxious to have the congregation show due ap preciation of the honor conferred by the presence of llie distinguished ju rists. gave out two verses of one of tbe metrical |«alma: "Speak. O ye Judges of the earlb. If just your sen tence tie. or must not Innocence ap peal to heaven from your decree? Your wicked hearts and judgment a are alike by malice swayed, your griplug banda by mlgbty brllies to vloleuce tietrayed." Ily tills time moat of tbe adults had woke up to the application of tbe Mssnnsss to a Blind Man. psalm and remained silent. allowing A man wltb dark glasses ov the children to continue the second eyes touche.I ibe conductor ou v erne. - Loudon Ta t ler. shoulder as tbe car ueured Euclid ave nue aud East Flfty-nrtb street A Soft Answer. "Pardon me." the man said, "but If Jewel-Arrati. Jimmy, why did I marry ye? Just tell me tbat. fue It's you're tbe conductor I warn to ask a mistelf that's bad to maintain ye ever favor. I'm blind, and I «nut you to «luce tbe blessed day tbat I became lead me over tv tbe curb wbeu the car stops. If you'll be so good." your wife. "Not tbat I minded tbe little botber Swats jewel." replied Jimmy, not rvllsblug the charge, "and It's tneeelf of doin' tbat for blm.” remarked tbe tbnt boiMta I may live to see tbe day conductor wbeu he got back uu bis when you're a widow weeptag over car. "but 'tain t right to let a blind tbe cold sod that covers me. Tbeo I'll man go arouud all alooe like tbut at eee bow you'll get along without me. night trying to find bla way arouud In tbe dark.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. bouey."-lxmdoti TH Hite Needed Rapairs. “Dora your typewriter orad repairs’" asked tba meandering tinker aa ke ea tere,! iba other "It would seem ao," replied Ike ployer. "Bha has Juat gone •treat to consult a dentist. * A ttorney - at -L aw A n,ow A 1<w COWINC LAWYERS. na» «•»'rua OTMar»"*"* ' Nea« «o Ita C X Laad «NBre. ' HARRIS, Prop. PORTLAND, OREGON. I
