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About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 1909)
T illamook headlight , J anuary How Tourists In Mexico Wrestle With the Language. A QUEER RESTAURANT ORDER Th» Way an American Wcmin Shock ed a Waiter With a Demand For a Dish That the Cook Would Not Pre pare. •ir» no wonder that men who go from the States down to Mexico on business do not get along better," said a returned New Y rker. “They don’t study Bpanluh ns they should, In tbe clubs half of the stock stories are about those half educated Americans, “It was In a restaurant where only Spanish Is spoken that a party of Amerh-an tourists assembled There were a woman and her two daughters and. of course, the attendant and pa- tlrnt pupa with the wad. “‘Let me order.’ «aid the mater. ‘I want to use my Spanish.’ Aud she pro ceeded to pull out a handy book of conversation ‘Let me see.’ scanning the menu; *we want oysters, I'm sure. A small fry for each would be Just tbe thing ’ “Running her Angers through the leaves, she found that ‘chlqulta* means •small’ nml ‘frlta’ means ‘fry.’ Perfect ly simple. ‘Cblquita frltas' would mean ‘small fries.' She held up her fingers to Indicate four and said com p’-’eently to the expectant and polite welter: “ ‘Cbiqultas frltas.’ “Tbe waiter’s eyes bulged out, and his Lathi politeness got a shock. ‘Ob no. senorn.' he cried a» he backed away; ’no «blqulta» frlta»!’ ”'Why not?' returned tbe patron ’Don’t you have ’em?' for In lier sur prise »be had fallen back on her ver nacular. Then she remembered Iler role and con.allied her book. "Nothing doing. No end of gesticu lation» on the part of the waller. •‘'Nice country where one can't get fried oyster»,' piped (lie woman, and »he added, 'I wonder why?' “'You can get 'em. ma'am.' said a man'» ratio« m voice ul au adjoining table. He continued: 'You ordered fried balile», uud they don't serve 'em tn this part of lhe republic, The word "cbiqultas" means babies, a term of eudeurmeut, but you're all O K. as to tbe frltas. If you had asked for "ostras frltas" the order would have gone through all right.' “And she ordered 'em, though »he looked daggers at the stranger, who was a New Yorker and had lived In Mexico for twenty years. “It was tbe same sort of woman." continued tile traveler, "who tried to air her Spanish by asking the amount of her bill ufter she had taken her dinner in a restuurunt In tlie (Tty of Mexico, With a bland atnlle she nd dressed the bend waiter with 'Como muclio?' Intending to ask how mu li “Now, the word 'cornu’ not only mean» ’how,' but also 'I eat,' so that the woman bad remarked to the wait er, 'I ent a good deal.' Tills was as much as to say that the dinner was s< good that she had eaten all or more tlinn she ought. In fact, it was a eompllmeut nud such a compliment a Is highly appreciated In any Lathi country. "With a deep bow the servitor ex pressed bls delight that his humble viands should have found approbation lu tbe sight of lhe most excellent it na» expressed In the señora, choice 1 di rases that so readily leuil themselves ou such occasions through the Castilian tongue. "But my lady didn't understand a word of the lingo She meant busl ness. nnd »he repeated In n louder tone: ’Como muclio? Como mu 11 > She was sure of her correct Spanish but somehow »lie couldn't get tile wait er to do anything but bow and scrap« and smile. "The puzzle was solved when the proprietor. henrlng the excited vol. es entered and learued that the lad' merely wanted to pay her bill Had she known that not 'Cotno tuucilo? but 'Que es la cuentit?' ('What Is th«' account?'» 1» the correct expression ebe would have been am rd trouble ami mortification "Time and again United States con aula hate set forth hi federal public» lions the advantages of » real knowl edge of Spanish to the business man The need is growing more emphatl« with every day. as our relations lu trade «re growing with Mexico dally But I guess (list federal puhll- atl »ns don't hit tbe people at large as n gen er 11 rule ’Tine of the easiest ways to learn a foreign language Is to re.ul good nor els In that tongue Y< u get »<> Inter estixl In tbe story that yon Just have to g«« on to the ««nd to learn whether the hero and heroine come out »11 right. “Students of Spanish don't adopt thnt method In New York I guess, for you cau't find any Spanish novel» on the secondhand bookstore tables up or down or scros» tbe city The only specimens I have found have t«eeii Spanish novels translated from the French novels It Is strange, too. for there are many excellent novela nows days by Spanish writers “Of course an tnstru tor Is n««ede<1 tn obtain the correct pronunciation, but on visiting Mexico with a g«»»l. ready knowledge of tbe language you can soon acquire tbe needed pronunelathm In fact, you bare tn do it in enter to get along ' New York sun. HUMORIST’S ODD GRAMMAR. LEGAL WORD SPECIALISTS. Captain Derby Provided Literally For Figurative Expreeeion. Have to Know Exact Shade of Mean ing In Words and Phrases. Among tbe pieces which made up the quaint output of Captain Derby, whose too early death deprived Ameri ca of one of the most original humor ists. was one entitled “A New 8ystem of English Grammar." It seems never to have attracted much attention; but, though there are in tbe volume con taining it articles more broadly amus ing. there are none in which wit and wisdom are more fully blended. After the lapse of years the exact words and the particular illustrations employed escape me in part, but tbe line of rea soning adopted will not vary material ly from what Is about to be given. The humorist proposed to have all descriptions and epithets marked on a sufficient scale of comparison—not the beggarly three to which we are now limited, but to a numlgr large enough to Indicate every variation of charac ter In the object under consideration and every possible degree of human conception In regard to Its nature. The lowest conceivable amount of any hu man quality consistent with its being at all would be Indicated by 1. Its maximum would be represented by 100. Here, then, would be a wide range between the perfection of the Idea expressed by the one number and its bare existence merely Implied by tbe other, as well as the feelings of the speaker about It. In which all shades of thought and feeling would be fit tingly represented. By prefixing to each epithet n figure between 1 and 190 the precise truth in regard to It as It appears to him uttering It would be conveyed to him hearing It. For ex ample, you are asked about your health. Instead of replylug pretty well, tolerably well, very well or some other ambiguous expression, you would say. bearing In mind that 100 indicates perfect health. I am 15. or 50, or 75, or 90 well, or any other number, as the case may be. By this means tbe in quirer leuriis definitely whnt he wants to know. lie has not been put off with formulas of speech whose general ap plicnblllty to different conditions of bodily health conveys nothing precise to the mind. The moment this meth od of expression comes Into general use we shall speedily become exact, ruatbemntical, truth telling In the high est degree. How well the rule would work can be best illustrated by the narrative of a simple Incident of news communicat ed by a man to his friend In some such words ns these: “On a 7(> fine morning I was 55 slowly walking down the 33 clean ave nue when I chanced to meet the 22 young and 85 charming Miss Smith, about whom you ask. We at once ex- changed the III usual meteorological observation. ■It Is a 7(1 beautiful day.’ I remarked. 'Indeed. It Is a 95 beautl- fill day,’ she replied, 'anil I am 97 glad to have met you. for it is a 99 long time since I have seen you.’ I felt 77 flattered by words like these coming from a 79 lovely girl, but proceeded to make the 71 usual inquiries about her health, for I knew that on that point you lind been 89 anxious, Rhe told n>e in reply that It had been 78 poor, but she was 100 glad to say that it was now 87 good.”— Professor J. E. Louus- bury In Harper's Magazine. ’Tome people seem to think that an important legal document can be drawn up by a lawyer in tbe time it takes his client to smoke a cigar.’ re marked a gray haired law clerk the other day. “it takes time and the moat scrupulous care to get things Just right. If lawyers were not care ful the Lord only knows where the clients would land. "Why, 1 know a man in one of the I great law offices who Is a specialist in tbe exact shade of meaning of each word or phrase used In a legal docu ment. Nothing goes out of that office without being submitted first to him to pass upon. Sometimes he will give i a week to tbe study of but one short but very Important paper, theorizing as to the possibilities of its meaning being construed this way and that, When be gets through with a docu- ment, however. and has submitted ev- ery word of it to tbe acid test there is practically no chance of its not being exactly right, as to its verbiage at least. In some cases, too. it is deemed desirable by clients to Ijecloud the meaning of a contract so that there is a loophole for Ils being construed In another way lb the event of certain contingencies occurring. That Is where the services of an expert word Juggler are indispensable. "The biggest case that I ever heard of In this line was when one of the great corporations wished to issue some mortgage bonds against its prop- erty. A long contract had to be drawn, and the wording on the back of the bond had to be decided U|xm. Tbe matter was so important that, after tbe attorneys themselves had decided on the forms to be used. It was turned over to two of these experts In ver biage. "They looked up tbe dictionary meaning of practically every word used In the two documents and made innumerable changes and suggestions. Before the papers were finished thirty different drafts of each of the two documents had been made, and there was not a word used in the Anal form of tbe papers that bad not beeD con sldered carefully, not only ns to its Individual meaning, but also as to Its Individual relation to tbe other words of the phrase or sentence containing It. It is safe to say that these two documents are never likely to be as sailed successfully in a court of law and that they mean exactly what the corporation and its counsel wished them to mean.’’—New York Press. Have No Jurisdiction Foreign Ambassadors. I 1 have just opened up the most com plete line of Complete set of Abstract Books STAPLE & FANCY GROCERIES Residents. in Tillamook, all new and Fresh. The prices are no higher than others. We most cordially invite you to come and look at what we have and get our prices whether you buy or not. W. « M. MILLS, Opposite the Post Offiee Taxes paid for non- in office. Office opposite Pos’. Office. Both phones. COOPER, W.H A ttorney - at -L aw , O regon T illamook , OARL HABERLACH, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, Utuiochcr ^buokat, Office across the street and north from tbe Post Office. h . GOYNE, The Best Hotel A ttorney - at L aw . THE ALLEN HOUSE, Office : Opposite Court House, T illamook , O regon . J. P. ALilaEjM. Proprietor. Headquarters for Travelling Men yY W’ SEVERANCE, Special Attention paid to Tourists. A First Class Table. Comfortable Beds and Accommodation. A ttorney - at -L aw , O regon . T illamook T. BOALS, M.D., PURITY above everything distinguished WEINHARD’S BEER From the PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, TILLAMOOK. Office- OI mud Building. Residence: Mrs. Weiss' house, west o Mrs. Walker’*. Common Used ou the family table it turns a dry lunch into an enjoyable sustaining meal, makes home cheerful, keep the men at home and offers effective aid to real temperance. Orders should be Sent to the Over The chief of au embassy Is an au gust being and one who boauts some remarkable privilege», it may be men tioned to begin with that in the land In which be is officiating an ambassa dor ranks Immediately after the ! princes of the blood royal. The ground oil which an embassy stands is in theory as well as in prac tice the territory of the nation to which Its principal occupant belongs. Even If a criminal were harbored in an embassy the police could not enter the premises without permission. An ambassador Is above tbe law of A Largs 8al»ry. the country to which be is accredited. Mr X.. a proiuluent lawyer of Phil The courts have no Jurisdiction over adelphia. wax much addicted to the him. and. strangely enough, his sub habit of lecturing hl» office staff, and ordinates and even Ills domestic serv the office boy came in for an unusunl ants are also Inviolate. Tbe humblest share of admonition whenever occa employee In the embassy If be com sion demanded and sometimes when It mitted a punishable offense could not did not. That his words were appre lie arrested without the consent of his ciated uas made quite evident to Mr. master, nor can an embassy official be X. one day when a conversation over heard on the elevator between Tommy imprisoned for debt. Ambassadors are to be envied most and another office boy on the same of nil |ierbaps for their freedom from floor was re|ieated to him. (lie burden of tuxntlon. They dis "Wliatcber wages?" asked the other burse not oue penny in taxes, either boy. directly or Indirectly, and. as for tbe “I get $10.000 a year," said Tommy house. It Is nonexistent so far "Aw. gwan!" ejaculated tbe other custom us they are concerned. No duty what- boy derisively. “Qultcber klddln'." "Honest. I do," said Tommy; "$4 a ever is charged In respect of wines, week In cash and tbe rest In legal ad cigars, cigarettes, etc., that are con- signed to them. vice."—Harper's Weekly. Again, tbelr excellencies need not bother about taxes unless they please. Blenheim. A very "famous victory" was that of That they do so is purely an act of Blenliuliu, which ts our corruption of grace on tbelr part. They are not le- Itlludhelm, the village on the upper gaily exempt from these tautalizlng l>auube where John Churchill won tils demands on the purse, but if they de- dukedom, his magnificent palace In cllued to meet them there would be no Oxfordshire and his yearly pension of means of enforcing payment.— Cassell'» £5.(100. This Is still enjoyed by his Journal. heir, the preseut Duke of Marlborough, if All Candidate» Wore White. w ho aunually places a French tieur-de- The word "candidate’' Is from the Ils tlaglet over the bust of bls ancestor In the guardroom of Windsor castle, Latin "candldntus ” Literally It means the condition of his tenure of the white rolssl. and it was thus called be- nin e In Rome those who sought office estate of Blenheim Loudon Answers. wore a glittering white toga. Fancy, if you can. all our modern Americans Th» Comparativ» Mathod. Theodore had twice been sent to dressed tn accordance with their politi wash tils bauds and was now return cal ambitions In some sections there would be no such thing ns a dark suit ing for the second Inspection. "My child.” said his mother, compar of clothes. Washington would simply ing the two hands critically, "your be one shining center of universal right Is Just as dirty as your left. whiteness.—Saturday Evening Post What have you been doing all thia timer Cost» Somttim»». "Why. ni.iiiiina,* explained the youth, "Politeness costs nothing.’’ said the "last time you said that my left hand man of ready made wisdom. was cleaner than tny right, so I tried "I guess." answered Mr Cumrox. to make them even, i'll go again."— "that you never had any experiences Youth’s Companion with these cafe waiters who regulate their politeness by tbe size of the tip.” H»r Regret. Washington Star. The Nobleman — You bought r bought me as you would but a Not at a Loe». The Heiress Yes, and what I'm i Miss A sure Hose (from Boston)—Is aliout now Is that I neglected to t your doctor's strong point diagnosis? for my chan««' Cleveland leader. Mrs Jones «from I’latnvillei No. I guess It ‘taln't. Leastwise, be don’t Chagrin. never prescribe It much.—Baltimore foule l’ncle. what's cbagrinT Tu- A niertcan. clse Well, it's wbat a atout man feets ■vhen he runs and Jumpe on a car that Diplomacy. doean't start for half an hourCMcfl- Maud tin you mean to say that you Any coward can fight a battle when go News. i actually proposed to him! Belle—Yea; he's sure of winning, but give me the but, tny dear, be was so dreadfully man who has pluck to fight when he's «uecsM I» tbe chUd ot aadacMy^, rattled I made him believe be did It sure of losing -George Eliot. i DtarsslL himself, Boston Transcript I T. BOTTS, A ttorney - at -L aw ABOVE THE LAW. Courts 7, 1909 Columbia Bottling Co., Astoria, Oregon R. I. M. SMITH, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, Office over J. A. Todd & Co.. Tillamook, Ore. C. HAWK, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, Agents for the H.Weiuhard Brewery, Manufacturers of the Tillamook Rock Brand Carbonated Beverages. Agents for the Bartlett Spring Mineral Water. BAY CITY, OREGON. R. BEALS, REAL ESTATE, F inancial A gent , The Oregon Cheese Co.,lncorported, is prepared to buy all the first class cheese that conies along. Spot cash and highest price. Factory men will do well to see R. Robinson, the mana ger, before selling. He will be Tillamookagood part of the time dur ing the season Only the best stock wanted. Al THE OREGON CHEESE COMPANY, 126 Fifth Street, Portland Tillamook, Oregon R. P. J. SHARP, RESIDENT DENTIST, Office across the street from the Court House. Dr. Wise’s office. ^1^ SARCHET, . The Fashionable Tailor. Cleaning, Pressing and Repair ing a Specialty. Store in Heins Photographic Gallery. J^OBERT A. MILLER, k at a « « « ■ • 4 « 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 I ■ a ■ ic « « EVERYTHING FOR PHYSICIANS’ PRESCRIPTIONS ■: * tt • We specialize on pt escrit ptinn compounding and theteiore carry a stock which re pre sents everything that phtsi* cians hereabout «re likelv to prescribe. All new worthy pharmaceutical« are here ns soon as out and our line ot prescription drug«* is corn plete al all times Onlv ^nodi* of highest purity and quality are ever used. Physicians who are ac quainted with our «tack and methods invar a lv •vtd stir« ot host results tmm the medi cines they hare prescribed tx hen they see our laid on the bottle. Expert services day or right Prices as low as anywhere. May we Jill your prescriptions? 4 v < a a b 1 4« v v CHAS. I. CLOUGH, I Reliable Druggist Tillamook, Orc A ttorney - at -L aw , Land Titles, Land Office Busi ness and Mining Law. PORTLAND, OREGON. Room, 306 Commercial Building. liso Ornes Bvsisg» a S pecialty . Phone A. l()09. COWINC, LAWYERS R oom 3SA Woscssvss B vildisg , T ribo »so On wrsasT». Room Nest to the U.S. band Office. PORTLAND. OREGON.
