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About The independent. (Vernonia, Or.) 1986-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 15, 2004)
The INDEPENDENT, January 15, 2004 What my mother taught me... 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” 2. My mother taught me RE- LIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!” 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that's why.” 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.” 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.” 7. My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.” 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMO- SIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.” 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!” 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.” 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.” 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!” 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.” 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICA- TION. “Stop acting like your fa- ther!” 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are mil- lions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.” 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.” 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are go- ing to get it when you get home!” 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way.” 19. My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?” 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn Page 13 mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.” 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don't eat your vegeta- bles, you'll never grow up.” 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. “You're just like your father.” 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?” 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you'll understand.” 25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUS- TICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!” OREGON TRIVIA 1. What hazard to ship- ping is located at the mouth of the Columbia River? 2. What 1979 film about a rodeo cowboy included scenes of Ontario? 3. Who was John Day? 4. How many Oregon newspapers have won a Pulitzer Prize? 5. What NFL Hall of Famer played for Portland’s Jefferson High School, the University of Oregon, and the Dallas Cowboys? 6. What are anadromous fish? Answers on page 17 Forest Resources Directory MIKE PIHL LOGGING CO., INC. BIGHORN LOGGING SPECIALIZING IN PRIVATE TIMBER FREE ESTIMATES CORPORATION 503-429-1470 SINCE 1981 ROAD BUILDING • RIGHT OF WAYS LOGGING IN OREGON & WASHINGTON Mobile: 503-789-1268 • Fax: 503-429-0252 WE BUY TIMBER • 503-324-2422 VERNONIA, OREGON B ANKS L O UMBER C O . L & O OCALLY WNED PERATED 1010 Bridge Street • P.O. Box 321 Vernonia, OR 97064 TURNER LOGGING, INC. SPECIALIZING IN THINNING OPERATIONS No job too big No job too small We log ’em all D AN P HILLIPS L OG B UYER 162 Commerce P. O. Box 8 Banks, OR 97106 Ofc: (503) 324-2681 Cell: (503) 702-2560 Fax: (503) 324-1782 See these professionals for Equipment & Supplies Contract Logging – Thinning Site Preparation – Road Building Timber Buying or Selling Complete Forest Management P.O. Box 715 Banks, OR 97106 503-324-0229 L. JEPSON & SONS, L.L.C C ONTRACT L OGGING H AULING • R OAD B UILDING 503-324-2786 Office Chip Yard 503-728-2817 503-324-2787 F AX F AX 503-728-2627 P.O. B OX 369 • B ANKS , OR 97106 TRIPLE S SERVICE JONSERED • HUSQVARNA • TROY-BILT Sales & Service Saws • Mowers • Trimmers • Tillers Accessories & Logger Supplies 503-429-1011 717 Rose Ave., Vernonia 503-429-6783 34515 SW Tualatin Valley Hwy • Cornelius 503-648-1254 • Fax 503-640-5858 www.tvipowerandsports.com TVI is your equipment headquarters offering sales, parts and services for all your power equipment needs. 854 Grant Ave. • P.O. Box 127 • Vernonia, OR 97064
