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About Klamath republican. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1896-1914 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 18, 1904)
Ayers HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND INGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to Have Been Recently Born Sayings and Ooings that Are Old, Curious aud Laughable-The Week's Humor. This falling of your hair! Stop it, or you will soon be bald. Give your hair some Ayer's Hair Vigor. The fall ing will stop, the hair will Hair Vigor grow, and the scalp will be clean and healthy. Why be satisfied with poor hair when you can make it rich? * My hair nearly all cam* ©nt. I than tri*4 Ayar’t Hair Vigor and otilv one bottle »topped the falllnit Naw hair c*m» in raa thick ar.d hut a little curly."— M m ». L. M. S mith . karatoca. M. Y. fl M a hot tla. f. C. ITI» co . 1 owe . Mt»« fo|. Biggs—Did you ever notice what a healthy-looklng man Dr. Pellet is? Diggs—Yes; he looks so different from his pat lent». [ wonder who ills physician 1»? Force of Habit. "1 appreciate the fact that you have honored me with a proposal,” said the deer girl, "but are you sure your love tor me is tbs real thing?” "Perhaps not." frankly replied the young drug clerk, "but ft is less expen sive and Just as good." Equal to the Ktnerjrriicy Thick Hair A Stingy Woman. Employment Ageut—Why did leave Mrs. Goodsoul so soon? She i» »aid to be a very nice woman. Domestic—Nice! She'» that stingy she begrudges the very air ye breathe. "You »noise me.” "Judge for y'rself. Kerosene Isn't worth over twelve cents a gallon, is it?" Mr. I.ovelort»—Ob. Mias Matilda, me “No." “Well, she 'most bad a fit 'cause I heart is ou Bn* for thee It I» burning: started to pour a few drops of it iu th' kitchen stove.” Undoubtedly. What is your idea ot a successful man?” asked the youth. “A successful mau." replied the sage, “is one who succeeds iu mskiug others think as well of him as he thiuks of Lim eelf.” For bronchial trou rar. trv rise's Curs lor Consumption. It is a g.»od cough medicine. At druggists, price cents. In the Wrong Office. Caller—IV» are very rich, and we wish to marry our daughter to a count, a mar quis or a duke. Clerk (with dignity)—You are in the wrong office. This is a matrimonial agency. You will find the International Purchasing Agency two doors to the Jett. VS Sakes alive! ought to put It out aud cool ye, too! His Explanation. "But why." I asked the good wife, “are you so anxious to secure the top fiat in that ten-story apartment house?” "Because.” explained the household I freight payer, "the elevator would be a great help to us in bringing up the children. ” gley LIOUOff-MORFNINE-TOeACCO Öre HABITS PERMANENTLY CURED —* ZOS FULL FSATKL. AFi — Such Dear Friend*. Too Clara—I'll tell you a secret, dear, if you'll promise never to repeat la. Maude—All right Out with It The British Museum contains records Clara—Fred pre|osed to me last (nJ books written on brick«, oyster shells, bones and flat stones, and manuscripts on night. Maude—Ob. say. doesn't be do it bark, ivory, leather, lead, iron, copper and wood. awkwardly, though? Feminine Charity. flow's Thia? Mrs. De Playne—When I married We offer One Hundred DeHart Reward fox “¿Tr«ilr‘rh“ure C“U1Ot ** CUI*d bT husband bi« eyes gilt was very F J. C U*n A CO . Prop«.. Toledo, a ! poor. We, the underai<ned, bavo kr ?«n F. J. Mrs. Dimple»—Ye*. It must bare Cheney for the laM 15 years, and ueiieve him perfectly honorable in all business transac ; been. tions and financially able to carry out any ob* Heations made by their firm. It Looked that Way. W knt <k T bvax , wholesale I»rurgista, Toledo. O. Mm Heupeck—1 don't think »he'll W ald ISO, K ln MAJI <k M a BVLM, V, hvleaalu Drug gists. Toledo, O. 1 ever marry him. Hall e Catarrh Cure la taken internally, act Mr. Henpeck—Why not? ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur faces of the system. Price 75c. per botue. Mrs. Henpeck—Oh, she quarrels Bold by all Druggists. Testimonials free. with him so and ia so domineering. Hall s Family Pills are the best. Mr. Henpeek—Indeed? 1'11 bet they Going It Alone. 1 have l>een secretly married already.— No matter what you undertake: no Philadelphia Press. matter what the game, be it lore or busi Billville Literary Note. ness, this advice goes just the same. In A Billville literary note reads as your struggle for position, for happiness or wealth let these words your motto be: follow«: “Rely upon yourself.” Then if you “While one of our leading authors make a ten strike it will be all your own i was peacefully plowing in the field and it you in the gutter fall you can some miscreant stole his shirt, his wallow there alone. I shoes and six poems. Verily the way Mothers will find Mrs. Winslows’s Soothing of the literary man Is not as smooth as Byrap the best remedy to Use lor their children t railroad.”—Atlanta Constitution, during the teething period.. __ I _________ What Papa Said. An Ear-Splitter. “We've got a dandy college yell now." “What is It?" “We give four Russian battleships, a liss-boom-ah, aud then two Jap generals." —Puck. Absent-Mimled. Mrs Schoppen—I want five ¡a-unds of sugar, please Grocer—Yos m; anything else? Mr». Schoppen—-No. that's all. I'll take It with me If it 1*n t bx> heavy a package. Grocer—Ob. it’ll only weigh three or four pounds, ma'am -Philadelphia Press. CONSUMED BY A FIRE THAT, WATER WILL NOT QJJEHC Eruptions Th© only way to get. rid of pimples and other erup tions is to cleanse the blood, improve the digestion, stim ulate the kidneys, liver and skin. The medicine to take is W here He Was Lacking. "Br'er Thomas wut always »Ingin* dat song 'bout 'De Yutber Side of Jor dan,* but you orter heerd hitu Well de doctor tol' him his time had coms ter Which has cured thousands. go dar!" "What he say denF "Esprit <le Corps." "Bellowed lak a bull, eu' hollered: "I All the tiuy cripples in the nvTgbbor- can't swim a lick! 1 never did take no liood of the settleiueut house, together swiuitulu' lesion»!' "—Atlanta Consti with a few able-bodied children, had tution. been feasted on cake and lemonade When one of the deformed mites was Vnabaehad. "It Is hinted. " said the close adviser, ready to go home ho missed his coat, "that there Is no rea»ou for your hav which search failed to Bud. The young ing so much mouey," woman who had been ministering to "My friend," answered Senator Sor the w ants of the company lisd -on ahum, "those people don’t understand one of the able-bodied girls go out w ith our social system. Nowadays It Is a something under her shawl too bulky waste of time to expect a man to stami to I'e secreted cake. "Run. uiy dear, to Jenny." she said up and apologise for having mouey."— to one of the lads. "In picking up her Washington star. shawl perhaps she got bold of some W hut Did She Vleun? tiling else by mistake." “If you feel chilly," said be. as they The boy moved off on hl« «lumpy strolled, “remember I have your shawl crutch, «ml w lien he returned he held here on my arm." the coat up In triumph The "accident" "You might put It around me." she had happened: Jenny bad picked It up said, demurely Philadelphia Pre««. with the shawl. The crippled children crowded close Prudent touw. The coutractor frowued up at the round toe young woman In great per I ricklayer sitting dangerous./ near the turbation. Their self reaped had been wounded. and they looked disdainfully edge of the scaffold. “Git .XT av ihor. Thomas Murphy!" at the few sound children among them. he finally bellowed, "lint thing Oi Finally one of the lads said: "Miss Martin, it ain't one of us that know ye will fall tin stories, break yes poll* awn «ant an hour tv go out awn did it. Jenny ain't a cripple; »he's on'y a Sunday school!" buy a new oue.” Hood’s Sarsaparilla Well Fitted to lie « Judge On the Jersey v'oe»t. A funny story comes from the South. "I'm not going to remain at this hotel another night.” , where the cynic had gone to upend a “What's the troub!»?" few of the cold day« of January. While "Why, do you know that object tn coursing his way through Georgia bo our room we took to l>« a trolley car stopped off to see an old friend aud a fender?” Jaunt through the country was the out "Yes?" I come of bls visit. It happened that Ills "Well, the laudlord says It’s mos friend was quite prominent Iu pollti,-« quito netting.” in the vicinity, aud as they trudged down the road an old darky approach Future Assured, ed and saluted them cheerfully. "Yes, we found the baby playing "Mornlu'. Jedge," Iwgau old Saui. with a volume of verse." “Howdy.” “Indeed? He will probably turn out “Say. Jedge. I'«e like tu t>e to be a poet." nex’ ticket for Justice uv de “But he tore the verses up and continued Sam. tossed them out of the window." “You a Judge!" replied my friend, "Did. eb? Well. that shows he's go “Why wbat do you know about the Ing to be an editor.” law?" “Mos' eberjrthln'." Ho Road It. “Well. now. Nam. If we should elect you and a man was brought Itefore you charged with committing suicide what would your Judgment be?" This caused Bam «ome deep uied!ta tion. and after a conaidarable watt lie l AM replied: SUNI "Well, under de circumstance», I guess I'd make him support his wife" —Philadelphia Telegraph. Ecimna drives »?• victim almost to the verg» of distraction by its htlolerablo itching, stinging ntnl burning. It seems to set the »ion on tire, and the tormented »utTcrcr rubs and scr«t< lies till the flesh is raw and tlio akin i* torn and bleeds. Nothing applied externally does much good, for the duea-o i« internal; the blood It ailamo with acid tmisona, that are forcing their v way through th« glands ntul pores of the skin, causing it to redden litui swell and break out in splotches, pustules and pimples, from hardens and dries, ami which a clear, j yellow vviik ii tv oiiuw, watery «.»•••/ matter ..................... exudes, -.......... .......... * tiicn peels olf in scale« or tine p.irticlos like bran. . Ecsema kindles a - • .... |,l tlu.t quench, al and that lotions, salve«, salves, powvier« powders ami anti fire that water will not qm-iKli, A» warm weather conic« on ami the system is soap cannot »mother, reacting and tlm blood making extra cilortt to throw off lite uccuinu* Frederick Kent Loomis. «b lose body has been found In Btgbury Bay. IS uillvs southeast of Plymouth, Englund, was eu route to Atrysalntii when he Ho disappeared wn* n passenger on the Kaiser Wilhelm II., and wit» ml»»- ed when Hie boat reaebed Bremen on the night of June lit last. Next day when passenger« landed nt Ply luted poisons, Eczema mouth b* was not tack« with redoubled vio ECZEMA KRPT HPRKA1>1 NO. c. K. looMis seen With Loo lence, ami the «utTcrcr i« al Rlw ye«rs atro tuy wtfn had a br*uklns*<nit b«doW her ku At llr«t r«4 huuipa appaaied, but s<M»n mis. who was brother of stunt Sec most distracted by lite fear whitn, husky m aba vain«*, Uiol whau litase would retary of State Loomis, vvtqi William shod off ll»o i'le^oo be©i«mo rod again« and would ful itching am! burning. Il itch aud bur t eo that «he fuuu l It hnpoeelble <«• II. Ellis, a colored min I.corni» wa« is the most uncomfortable sleep. At I mes a yoll<>w water ran from tha carrying to Emperor Meuellk a com bumps, «n l 11 k ept tfolUntf worse end worse, Ous mercial treaty Just concluded between am! agj’ravatin;;of all »kin family phy nielan pronounsed II Soma, and pre- the Halted State« and Aliv-»Inta it eruption« and a terror in aorlbad ointments and powders; but It M*v® spreading, breaking *> »t on her body an I erme, warm weather. ha» been alleged that Ellis |H>sse»»e« mill alm '«t vl »eed up her ears. Tlie <tru <tf 1st at Local rcim-tlic«givc tem (lamer told me to t r v M. M. H , which oho did, and a peculiar Intluenee over Meuellk. and aftvir taking e^vor«! bottino was cured, and la that he ha» a ileslre to luwonte ruler porary ease, but a« Eczema well to*dov and has boon fur years. of Abyssinia Ho is icporteil Io have is not due to out«ido cause«, Uaruer, N. 0. W. A. 11OOUTT. told friend» In New York lu-fore ho but to a disordered condi sailed with l.ismtl« that lie cX|H-> Irti tion of the system uml an over-acid and impure bl<vod, the treatment within two years to have control of riust be constitutional, or inlerii.il. l'urify the blood ami the »kin |iaO.OtW,l>UO and <>f the rl. Iu I c.uiutry disease will disappi ar. .................................... nie.ty can I hj found that* No Ircttcr blood remed' Iu Africa. It builds up tlm sour uml acid blood tl, rids it of all imtniritic« ’L a J/ ___ _ ___ s. s. s. and (Hiisoii, stimulate« tlio eluggioh or J Mines II. Peabody. Governor ■ f Col gan», and invigorate« and tone* up lit« ora do, bus I mm - u i> ailing the «In nil"»« entire «v-tem; and n* all skin eruption« life «Ince last August, when the Stats like T< z.ciim nro only «yniptom*or signs of began to lie stirred bad blood, they naturally «li»ap|>ear when by t I li e millers' that vital fluid ia again restored to health. »trike that S. S. S. is guaranteed strictly vege ■Ince resulted table. It is not only a bh>od purifier, but n splendid tonic and ap|w-tizer, tunny deaths, i r making it an ideal spring medicine. Treat Eczema through the blood, court controversie or you will never gel permanently rid of it. Write for our book on the ■ nd crimes of » u rlous degrees. Gov Skin and its Discs»««, which i* muilcd free Medical advice furnished er nor Peabody 1» a without eval to you. yy/t SWIFT SPTCiitC CO., ATLANTA. GA. native of Vermont aud la 51 years old lie was educated lu it riAiiouY. the public schotils and as a young man was a n. tel ith lete For a time Governor Peiltody worked as a dry go.s!« clerk In Hoe ton. later going to Colorado lie Set ertltody m-eda. I'.no |«'r TAOOMA. WA SH. tied In Canyon City, hl« pr» - -nt liom >, month can e«*tiy I** mad» aud engaged In mercantile bii»ine«s Gli•• wrlltm contra«!» |o mtut « ¡»»Mliion* by good workers. No com Fortune favored him, and In inns no • »r gradual«1» Ihr«« r«*titrart« arr tfuaraiili-r l bjr a National Hank. 'N rite für catalogua an ! petition. Good va-y «ell- became a banker plan ttrilay. er*. Write tor particular« Wanted-Salesmen BEUTEL BUSINESS COLLEGE ■ nd agency at one«. ITofeesor Gohl« In Smith w ho fU vor« a home rule p:trilettimi for lie land, la ■ celebrated I »t- b id mid e« 31.11'ommcrcUl Nk. F«rtla»d. Or«. say 1st, w ho»» liter ary fame I» world G>r ) «»un^ I m » va . wide He waa t»>rn lU*anhiii; ■ t Rending, Eng B oi J22 Uahcnify Pirk SlAfloa, Pori had, Orr. land. Aug 23. 1S'J3, Apply fur ( atAtnfiMi «ml wa» «-tlut-uti-,1 Eton and I, gn tnlng M'bolarshlp« various prize». I? ■ |«e day H«-»f<! |i »’ |*r 1M7 be was called Voice Trom Arkansas. < |.* ■«> |*r -fay I «irti to the English luir, Cleveland, Ark., August 16 («peciali irrigation ri'itatrurlloit >*»rwia tir nt rin I'l-y niBtit for ■^**»*1 turn ami lie wna regln» prie fii<>r. a The Deaf aud Dumb Beggar—A — Nearly every newspaper tells ot some tram« feaaor of modern friend told me this morning tint the wonderful cure of some form of Kidney Ücvchut« Irrigation and Powtr police are going to stop begging on the : Disease by the Gyeat American liem- history at Oxford fur eight year», und Vorwimivy unr-inx ' edy, Dodd's Kidney Pills, and this part later was hnnornry professor of Eng arto »tree'.». " The Blind Beggar—Yes; I read that of Arkansas it not without its share of Hah aud i*on»tltutlonnl history nt Cor U> » Professor Rm evidence that no case is too deeply nell In the paper yesterday. * rooted for Dodd's Kidney Pills to cure. of reciprocity between the I tilted H. X u. n - as i»o«. Mr. A. E. Carlile, well known and States aud Canada, mol during the Willing to Repair. "Young man." said the »tern father, highly respected here, tells of his cute civil war was an active champion of "you have been calling on my daughter after nearly a quarter ot a century's the North. I 'ROM i > i : aui : r until you have worn out the sofa. Y<>u suffering. Mr. Carlile «ays: "I want to let the public know what The nominee of tbe Prohibitionist a know wbat that means, don’t you?" "Certainly, sir." responded the young I think of Dodd’s Kidney Pills. I for President 1» SII iim <’ Swallow, of man, “I'll send up an upholsterer to think they are the lest remedy tor Pennsylvania. Swallow I* on«» of the sick kidneys ever made. shining light« of morrow." F thia minute and write lor our ca ( a - » "I had Kidney Trouble for 23 years the t«*in|M»nin«,t« logu* wc’r« xfrzid you’«« not .uttrd for a buun«M hi«. , tx th« best __ T hu ___ m.y J Given a Raise. and never found anything that did me crump . He | m ¡ hi M , • a * , - — ... _ _ _ _* . _ t 1. 4 _ thane« you hav« ever had. iJon't waatc it. Wr «ducat« you practically lor With tender hands they took him so much good as Dodd’s Kidney Pills. his tfctth yenr nnd butincM and «t you a position when competent. A postal Xflai card --»rd will bring Hing lull < from the topmoet branches of a tall I recommend them to all sufferers.” for more than n > parncuvarx. Ln’t it w.trth , urwh.lc BENNIE WILIER BUSINESS COLLEGE pine. to writ« now brlort you lorgrt it. Oruuuti. There is no uncertain sound about generation has He knows been engaged In "What happened?" he ga»ped feebly Mr. Carlile's statement. "You were tossed by a bull,” they that Dodd’s Kidney Pills rescued him booming Problbl I from a life of suffering and he wants tlon. He made a responded. "Then it's not so bad. I thought I the public to know it. Dodd’s Kidney phenomenal r The Great Conditioner and Stmk Pettenor. NOItMtS da I’ills cure all Kidney ills from Back for Treasurer was tossed by a racing automobile.” .Moro Work on I e«< l erd, COW'S h I« b More and kkhtf ache to Bright's Disease. Milk. Ho<iS | often Qukker If given thl« I oud. Pennsylvania Trial» of Cupid. Package. BOc end ftI.OO. one time, receiving Iloecoe Conkling*« Rig Fee. "Yee,” related tbe romantic young lixjut 120,000 votes *iLAa < *»w ai . i . ow . MkKKS riGS <)K<»W~<M»<»I> roH BTUMTKI» CAI.VKK. It 1« «aid that one day when Roscoe man. "as we sat on tbe park bench 1 ; Then he run for <iov«-rnor nnd «III Pat ssirw B nmkdv Co . Nt 1’iuil. Minn. leaned over aud planted a kiss on her Conkling was l>eginning to attain notin' (.» X rt.Mtf liM t II Hf iH-rn frc.lin« your fe? uhm S tock P«»on to my nearly as well, threatening the !lepub> thorough .rrd »win« It give« them en appetite, and iimfara the pig« measure of success be dropped into th« ruby lip«.” llran ticket Four years ago he grow. 1 also UWd It on atuntod ealvro with BMti«fartorr rooalto "Planted, eh?" remarked the buffoffii office of Charles O'Conor, of New York, F. W. O nuomb . Ulirin. Neb. sought the nomination which I min now I'OMTLANO Sl.fc.1* CO,, Portland, Or,, Coast Agent« then one of the leader« of the bar. friend. “Did you raise anything?" been given him, but John G Woolley "What's the trouble?” asked the 1st “Tts. A pollcemau saw me and wan the auerraaful aspirant. Mr. soon afterward I had to raise $ 10 fot tor, as Conkling excitedly paced the Swallow Is a Methodist tnlnlater :ind floor. n fine." “I’ve Just been subjected to the editor of the PeniiMylvnnla Meth«H|iM. Love in a Flat. worst insult I have ever received, Tbis Don Jnlrne, of Bourb n. » ond «<>n "Why does Harker look so eroe« is the first time a client ever objected of Don Carlo«, tlm Hpanl-li p nd r, these days?” to my fee. naw In the lineo .lapilli s <pi.irrei an “He's married and ha> three little "¥ou know I defended Glhlion» for opportunity toshak» ones*” arson and put In ionie tremendous off n little of flic “I don't see why three children work for him. He vu convicted at obscurity which has should put him In a bad humor." the trial, but we couldn't help It. and for some time ell- "Who »aid anything about children* I took the case to the Superior Court, Vclopcd t he Boiir- He 1» married and baa three littls and he lost there, then on to the Su iron princes, llo room»." preme Court, and that affirmed the con- ‘ C^-iaA V hastened to Nt. I'e- PORTLAND, OREGON. viction, and he has been given ten It Would Heerri Ho, tirsl'tirg and of- Write lor Catalogue «n« Prices. years. Now, my fee only amounted "Truth,” remarked the morallzer, "It fered Iti» « rtlr-e» to 13.000. and the scoundrel actually stranger titan fiction.” Ì to the Czar. Thny has the audacity to grumble alsiut It. “Yes.” rejoined the demoralizer."and were accepted, anil Maying It'» too high. What do you the majority of men seem to be shy of Iron Jrtline I» now think of that for Impudence?” »»»oclatlng with Btrangers.” an olili er In the "Well," said O'Conor, »lowly, "of ItuHslan army In the Far En-t The course you did a lot of work, and »3,- Himself and Another. prince I» In bl» thirty fourth yertr, ,ind (XX) Is not a big fee, but to tie frank Him—There are two men of my ac- ita» Iteen given little chance to distin with you, Mr. Conkling, my opinion, qua Inta nee whom I really admire. guish himself. He I» heir to his fa Her Indeed! And what la the name founded on mature consideration, is that ho might have been convicted for ther'« pretension» to the Kpaui«li of the other one? throne. less money." Columbia University : SPECIALTY SELLING COMPANY ■ WANTED B U V 200 MEN. 1 ► IF YOU HAVEN’T SPUNK ‘"{"“T ,rnoi,*(h ,o r,<h' d,,w" < PRUSSIAN STOCK FOOD RUSSELL T oilers SAW MILLS Willie—Why! grandma, are you go Ing boniej Papa Ju»t said yesterday that he thought you were going to stay forever. I Ì >- I Miss Nellie Holmes, treasurer« of the Voung Woman's Temper« ance Association of Buffalo, N.V., strongly advises all suffering women to rely, as she did, up* on Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vege* table Compound. *• D rab J! ks P inkham :— Your med icine is indeed an ideal woman'» medi cine, and by far the best I know to restore lost health and strength. I Buffered misery for several years, being troubled with menorrhagia. My back ached, I had bearing-down pains and frequent headaches. I would often wake from restful sleep, and in such pain that I suffered for hours before I could go to sleep again. I dreaded ibe long nights as much as the weary days. I consulted two different physicians, hoping to ^et relief but finding that their medicine did not seem to cure me. I tried your Vegetable Compound on the recommendation of a friend from the East who was visiting me. “ I sm glad that I followed her ad vice, for every ache and pain ia gone, and not only this, but my general health ia much improved. I have a fine appetite aud have gained in flesh. My earnest advice to suffering women la to put aside all other medicines and Not t.p-to-llate. "He his a premising future. He's a very eloquent young preacher.” “Oh. he'» too old-fashioned, He will insist upon taking his text» from the Bible.”—Philadelphia Pre»«. I*o»«il>le Explanation. Mile»—There 1» «aid to be a race of ■cv'SKea In Africa whose vocabulary consist» of but elxbt words. Giles—What! Do you mean to say there are uo females among them? Taken for Granted. Judge—Why did you arrest this 1 man? Officer - For profanity on the street. Judge —Did you b«-ar him using It? Officer—No. but ills slit.estring broke twice as he was running for a car. t'p to Her. “What would you do if I were to die?” asked the bride of six month«. "That'» for you to say, my deer. .” re ' plied the other half of the sk< sketch. "Which would you prefer—burial or cremation?" Hereditary. "I hear,” said the irlend of the fam- I !ly, "that your son Is sowing wild oala to take Lydia E. I’inklinm’s Vegre table Compound.*' — Miss N ei . lib broadenst since he went to the city.” "Tnkes arter hi« olo dad, I reckoti," H olubs , ttO No. Diviaion St., Buffalo, | replied old man 0oroto«ael. "TV farm twoo forf.n If original of a Sow lotUr fft. er In him Hlr bound tew crop out, by fSmX««»«M «wnof (« pruduca. lien!" PISO S CURE FOR Advice. "Anybody kin give advice,” said Un cle Eben, "but It takes a right smart man to pick out de right kind an' take —Washington Star thst ® rs Mschincry The A. H. Averill Machinery Co. Important to Farmers GRAIN BAGS GRAIN BAGS $4.75 per 100 Jld London Coffee House». In 1057, we are told, the first coffee bouse had le-en prosecuted as a nui sance. In 1708 there were three thou sand coffee bouse», and each had Its habitual circle. There were coffee houses frequented by merchants and stock-Joliliers carrying on the game whh-li suggested the new nicknames bulls and bears, and coffee house» where the talk was Whig and Tory, of the last election and change of mln Istry, and literary resorts such as the Grecian, where, as we are told, n fatal duel was provoked by a dispute over a Greek accent. In which, let us hope, It was the worse scholar who was killed, and Wills’, where Pope as a lx>y went to look reverently at Dryden, and Buttons', where at a Inter period Addl son met his little wnate. Addison, ac cording to Pope, spent five or elx hours a day lounging at Buttons', while Pope found the practice and the consequent consumption of wine too much for his health. Thackeray notices how the cltlb and coffee house drinking shorten ed the Ilves and enlarged the waist coats of the men ot those days. Cavalrymen Who Hide Oxen. The oddest cavalry In the world Is maintained on the west coast of Ma dagascar by Governor General J. G. Galllenl. While the French troops In that country are ample to meet the occasional revolutions, the governor general makes use of the native talent for police work In out of the way lo calities. On the west coast of Africa Is a trllie of natives, possibly racially connected with the Hovas, who «re known as the Hakahova, the most warlike tribe of the country. The na tive«, In Imitation of French troop er«, organised an oxen cavalry corps, under command of a French officer, They are armed with modern long- handled lances or spears and aide arms. An I nfalr Advantage. Hhould Have Known Better, "What was the trouble betwe n Josher and ids wife?” "She »tated flint n certain young lady of their acquaintance was the handsomest girl In town, mid he agreed with her." Butte Inter Mo.in tain. Know ledge and Experience. Hlie—What Is a silent partner? He—Did you ever diitu-e «Ith deaf and dumb num? n Friendly NuaK<'»tlon. "My heart 1» »till uiiti'i»iiiti-<l," »Iglt- <*d the «lender summer air I. "Why don't yon writ,- on your <rird ’Flat to let?'" a«ke<l lu-r plump coiih I In. who was wearing a broad smile ■ nd a uew engaK<*ment ring. Never Called Down. Ths Czar— Why did you loss that .bat- Hoax Old Adilin had one itdvnnlnga tie? Gen. Zoltb off—The Japanese attacked over the modern after dinner peal . r. Joax—What was Unit? us in our rear. Hoax—After he had tlnl lo d no mini "I was Informed that they attacked you In front.” ever »aid, “I always did like that "Y-e-s, but that was our rear when story. th»/ gut there. By order oi the State Board of Prison Directors, I am authorized to sell grain bags in any quantity above 500, manufactured at San Quentin Prison at a price fixed at $4.75 per 100. Baps delivered free in San Francisco. Orders must be accompanied with cash or exchange on San Francisco in full, and also with the following affidavit verified before a Notary Public or Justice of the Peace : “I hereby certify that I am a consumer residing in ... and that the bags ordered by me are for my own personal and individual use’ Subscribed and sworn to be- ........................ (Signature) fore me this .... day of [Seal | .......... The bag» are of the lame capacity as standard Calcutta,, and superior in quality. Don’t delay - send your order to day to J. W. TOMPKINS Warden San Quentin Priran, California Sample of these bags can be seen at the office of this newspaper ♦