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About Herald and news. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1942-current | View Entire Issue (April 12, 1959)
Family Weekly readers speak their minds on a widespread and growing national problem. WHAT DO YOU OWE YOUR PARENTS? It llcll UO MM nu miiii n.iivnK " i 5rr i '' I Hollywood, CHf. Your recent article might have adi. ed "The elderly man of 71, who still enjoy, life very much." I (toe on a pension of $115 a month. In the Summer I rent cottage in the mountains for $40 a month and in the Winter I get a room toitX friends in town for the tame amount, ify three married children in Penmyltntaa wonder how I can lire to comfortably ni happily on to little. - ' have to do it. After a coronary ti 19S4, a mild stroke in 1958, and a recent attack of arthritis in my feet, I lenov I must eat moderately, rett a lot, walk tome each day, and keep busy with regular choret. Lately I haoe tried my hand it landscape painting. I have lots of fowm and a fine lawn around my cottage in the mountains. Also, lots of friends. 1 would say to all younger oUci, "Don't feel torry for us oldsters.'' 1M.C. In a recent issue, Family Weekly invited readers to give their opinions on how we can help our elder citizens and, more specifically, what we owe our own parents when they grow old. From the thousands of replies, it is apparent that Americans everywhere are devoting a great deal of intelligent thought and effort to finding solutions for this problem, and that most solutions are achieved with the heart acting as the guiding factor. Here is a selection of some of the most interesting letters received. Lttfaytti Lei After my father's death, my mother went into shock and hat required constant supervision for two and a half years. As my sisters didn't feel they could share their hornet, we were faced with either keeping her or placing her in a nursing home. Naturally, we kept her with us. I teach school a financial must so we had to hire a nurse during school hours and give up all of our social activi ties. Last year, my husband borrowed money on our home to go into business, hoping that success in this would enable me to resign, but the business hasn't pros pered and we now face the possibility of losing our home. . At first, our child felt greatly de prived by Mama's presence. Now we all feel that no matter what the cost, the les sons in life which the has brought us will more than compensate for our loss. Our lives are completely changed; we haoe conquered life's greatest chal lenge, intolerance, and we feel unified in sharing an insoluble problem. Our son's friends haoe changed from rowdy, furniture-breaking demons to polite, well mannered youngsters who love and re spect Mama Dudley. They never past her chair without a cheery "hello," and one 8-year-old proudly boasts that Mama Dudley is the girl he plans to marry. We are proud to have come this far, and we pray that we will not lose our comfortable home. We are grateful to our many friends who drop in to keep us com pany, and to our neighbors who bring small gifts to make Mama feel remem bered. But most of all we are grateful for the lesson that taught us to "Honor thy father and thy mother." Mrs. EJ3.M. Caarroa, Ohio Your provocative article was avidly read by members of -our Senior Recrea tional Center here in Canton. We were pleased to see this subject given wide publicity, and we fed that you are stimu lating many to face this problem. There is no simple answer or solu tion. Kindness, tolerance, and mutual ap preciation help toward easing the tension, but the problem is still there. Since we opened our office a year and a half ago, numerous families have come to us with almost the same questions you quoted. There are as many solutions as there are people, but happiness for all is the goal, and the feelings of each person involved must be kept in mind. Meals, a roof over head, and tolerance of one's foibles aren't enough. The important thing is to make the oldster feel wanted and needed. Few of our members (all past SO) live with their children, even though most of them depend entirely on their old-age assistance check. They maintain their own establishment, no matter how small. This is important to them, for it means status. Our 2M members keep so busy for four days each week that they haven't time to complain about what's owed them, or even bother about their aches and pains. They bowl (some of the women are in their Ms), dance, make things in the woodwork, craft, and ceramics classes, volunteer their services in the Community Helpers Club and the Friendly Visitors group, or just enjoy a movie travelogue. Mrs. Adelaide Ktntx, Executive Director, Senior Recreational Center. Holland, Mick. ' I worked three years in a county hospital, mostly with older people. Many of them became my friends, and I visited them after their discharge. I was shocked to find many of them in dreary, dismtl rest .homes, and I decided to start a rest home of my own. After spending much time on re search, on actual costs for a building, staff, food, and so on, I found the picture so dis couraging as to be prohibitive. No matter how simple I kept the plan, the fee for the potential guests would be too high, even if it were operated on a nonprofit basis. Thus it should become a community matter, in the same way as communities pool their efforts for other worthwhile projects. Find out how many people face the same problem in your community. Get them together. Pool resources. Studj 'the immediate need, and the growing need for the years to come. Ask the cooperation of doctors, welfare workers, and the other professional leaders. Don't forget to in clude able elderly people. They know what is needed and will enjoy helping. When authorities say that a little more kindness, tolerance, and mutual ap preciation help, they shouldn't forget that a sense of humor is important, too. As an nffnrtn atK nf thn uar in mv native country, ikA -:t..n: ..... .rwl Mnnv parents were obliged to take in their married chil dren because of the housing shortage, aW it often took from six to ten years to g an apartment. I observed from letters that a sense of humor often turned seemingly serious conflicts into lighter ones. with laughter that later was remembered lov ingly. Regina Allen (Continued on page W ramUy Wwkly. April IS, HSI
