Family Weekly readers speak
their minds on a widespread
and growing national problem.
WHAT DO YOU OWE YOUR PARENTS?
It llcll UO MM
nu miiii n.iivnK
" i
5rr i
'' I
Hollywood, CHf.
Your recent article might have adi.
ed "The elderly man of 71, who still enjoy,
life very much." I (toe on a pension of
$115 a month. In the Summer I rent
cottage in the mountains for $40 a month
and in the Winter I get a room toitX
friends in town for the tame amount, ify
three married children in Penmyltntaa
wonder how I can lire to comfortably ni
happily on to little. - '
have to do it. After a coronary ti
19S4, a mild stroke in 1958, and a recent
attack of arthritis in my feet, I lenov I
must eat moderately, rett a lot, walk tome
each day, and keep busy with regular
choret. Lately I haoe tried my hand it
landscape painting. I have lots of fowm
and a fine lawn around my cottage in the
mountains. Also, lots of friends.
1 would say to all younger oUci,
"Don't feel torry for us oldsters.'' 1M.C.
In a recent issue, Family Weekly invited readers to give their
opinions on how we can help our elder citizens and, more
specifically, what we owe our own parents when they grow old.
From the thousands of replies, it is apparent that Americans
everywhere are devoting a great deal of intelligent thought and
effort to finding solutions for this problem, and that most solutions
are achieved with the heart acting as the guiding factor. Here is
a selection of some of the most interesting letters received.
Lttfaytti Lei
After my father's death, my mother
went into shock and hat required constant
supervision for two and a half years. As
my sisters didn't feel they could share
their hornet, we were faced with either
keeping her or placing her in a nursing
home. Naturally, we kept her with us.
I teach school a financial must
so we had to hire a nurse during school
hours and give up all of our social activi
ties. Last year, my husband borrowed
money on our home to go into business,
hoping that success in this would enable
me to resign, but the business hasn't pros
pered and we now face the possibility of
losing our home. .
At first, our child felt greatly de
prived by Mama's presence. Now we all
feel that no matter what the cost, the les
sons in life which the has brought us will
more than compensate for our loss.
Our lives are completely changed;
we haoe conquered life's greatest chal
lenge, intolerance, and we feel unified in
sharing an insoluble problem. Our son's
friends haoe changed from rowdy, furniture-breaking
demons to polite, well
mannered youngsters who love and re
spect Mama Dudley. They never past her
chair without a cheery "hello," and one
8-year-old proudly boasts that Mama
Dudley is the girl he plans to marry.
We are proud to have come this far,
and we pray that we will not lose our
comfortable home. We are grateful to our
many friends who drop in to keep us com
pany, and to our neighbors who bring
small gifts to make Mama feel remem
bered. But most of all we are grateful for
the lesson that taught us to "Honor thy
father and thy mother." Mrs. EJ3.M.
Caarroa, Ohio
Your provocative article was avidly
read by members of -our Senior Recrea
tional Center here in Canton. We were
pleased to see this subject given wide
publicity, and we fed that you are stimu
lating many to face this problem.
There is no simple answer or solu
tion. Kindness, tolerance, and mutual ap
preciation help toward easing the tension,
but the problem is still there. Since we
opened our office a year and a half ago,
numerous families have come to us with
almost the same questions you quoted.
There are as many solutions as there are
people, but happiness for all is the goal,
and the feelings of each person involved
must be kept in mind. Meals, a roof over
head, and tolerance of one's foibles aren't
enough. The important thing is to make
the oldster feel wanted and needed.
Few of our members (all past SO)
live with their children, even though most
of them depend entirely on their old-age
assistance check. They maintain their own
establishment, no matter how small. This
is important to them, for it means status.
Our 2M members keep so busy for
four days each week that they haven't
time to complain about what's owed them,
or even bother about their aches and
pains. They bowl (some of the women are
in their Ms), dance, make things in the
woodwork, craft, and ceramics classes,
volunteer their services in the Community
Helpers Club and the Friendly Visitors
group, or just enjoy a movie travelogue.
Mrs. Adelaide Ktntx, Executive Director,
Senior Recreational Center.
Holland, Mick.
' I worked three years in a county
hospital, mostly with older people. Many
of them became my friends, and I visited
them after their discharge. I was shocked
to find many of them in dreary, dismtl
rest .homes, and I decided to start a rest
home of my own.
After spending much time on re
search, on actual costs for a building, staff,
food, and so on, I found the picture so dis
couraging as to be prohibitive. No matter
how simple I kept the plan, the fee for the
potential guests would be too high, even
if it were operated on a nonprofit basis.
Thus it should become a community
matter, in the same way as communities
pool their efforts for other worthwhile
projects. Find out how many people face
the same problem in your community. Get
them together. Pool resources. Studj 'the
immediate need, and the growing need for
the years to come. Ask the cooperation of
doctors, welfare workers, and the other
professional leaders. Don't forget to in
clude able elderly people. They know
what is needed and will enjoy helping.
When authorities say that a little
more kindness, tolerance, and mutual ap
preciation help, they shouldn't forget that
a sense of humor is important, too. As an
nffnrtn atK nf thn uar in mv native country,
ikA -:t..n: ..... .rwl Mnnv parents
were obliged to take in their married chil
dren because of the housing shortage, aW
it often took from six to ten years to g
an apartment. I observed from letters that
a sense of humor often turned seemingly
serious conflicts into lighter ones.
with
laughter that later was remembered lov
ingly. Regina Allen
(Continued on page W
ramUy Wwkly. April IS, HSI