The Evening herald., June 22, 1920, Page PAGE THREE, Image 3

IAQH THRim
THE EVENING HERALB, KLAMATH FALLS, OREGON
TLTHDAV, .JUNK 83, 1
ITAUDAMD OIL COMPANY VF k.T
V7i5re
Standardized
Qualiiy
No matter where
you buy"Rcd Crown,"
you always get the
uamehigh-qualUyfucl.
It is made to meet the
requirements of your
engine.
"Kcd Crown" Is ntl-re-finery
cnsoline with tho
.full and continuous chain
o Loillnj points neces
sary for ready starting,
quick and smooth acceler
ation, steady, dependable
power and long mileage.
Look for the"Red Crown"
sign before you fill.
POT POURRI
Y
Gasoline of Quality
T. J. MORTELL,
Special Agents Standard Oil Co.
Klamath Falls, Oregon
My MNK HTAII
I1i;l. Ilynn iitiil tint IO no Hlnr woru
wtttkliiK )l I'll" Htmot yesterday,
whim dim of Klimmtli KiiIIh' tuna
muldc mi of iriorti tlmn rospoclnblo ago
passed nit all dressed In Muck.
"What's Alio doing III blurk?" Ilohblo
naked us "Why sho'n In, mourning
for Imr htiiihand," wit replied "llul
lliitiui," n.ilil IlrutliiT Ityiui, "she
never hud n lninliiuiil " "No" wo
replied, "thut's tlm reason Hlnr
IMIIUrllK."
Wit In nr that said Hobby llyun In
In tint fMd for n wife, unit wo htillnvo
wii ran null Hobble to n T. Ho mil
iirouml Hobble ami see us iiiiii In n
while Tho cull n huvn picked nut
fur ynu la not on (landmine ua far an
looks go, I "it Aim's u good rook, fill)
doesn't ilrlnk, neither does slm iih'o
paint (at night) unit tint t-Ht patt of
It ull 0t that she's I r lull So get busy
and ilrrp u a lino lloli wo urit sure
we ran please you. Wo flint Owoh
of the llluc Kli'n up Home tlmn ngo,
anil fun t you up, too
Tim Hev Trlmtilo performed a
wooden marriage ceremony taut
night Von hii married two Poles.
BBOUOBT OUT FACTS
i
lion. I.
Putter.
Wonder what th children from
that combination will bo- slhxr M
RUIlS
NT ITO
I
-lf iinlttlngly President Campbell
T M
UNIVKHHITY
gene. Jlltir 2:
OK OltKUON, Kit
Ucan John lltrauh,
today iiiaki thu following statement
I In regard to Uiun Htraub's r-iutnt
in uvvuu inn uniimiieii niii'iuiiin ui
Iii work ox ilnan of in ho ami profes
sor nf Urenk
"Dean Klraub ban for many yeir
been carrying to deanshlps. that nf
nun of tlm college, of literature,,
science uml thu arid With tho
who him for mort than forty years rriiwth of tln university tin- double
been dean of men unit professor nf ' Imnliii bus Imtiiiiih too heavy anil Im
llrrek In Hip university, will n.ik the'lius asked In he relieved of tlm laltnr
board of legentn Unlay to rullnitli order that Im may roncentratii his
htm of the tiesnihlp of tho csll(t f ,"orJ! on tho ftnM rloiu.i;t to M li.it
literature, science anil Ihf nrt. I- that nf inirsonal work with .the
which ln linn hail tor 53 years holil "" ' '"" iinlrlty ll ha! wnl
In rniijunrtlon with tlu ilcannhlp of I"""'"! ',t' rl ' frrnhmon and a
men. jmUlni'r and friend ha clonitly follow
' IVnn Htrnub ha rntitninpl itnl tltlft l1 thidr enn-vr Jl han ulwayn licim
ehnnr" for roin Hum hut ho did not known an tlm f.tlhiT of thu froihman
wind to makn Dm riiiiumt until nflur Kl.mt '
the punlni: of : m'lluito bill. In thn
campalRn for whlrh Im ilnvotnd him-
A Daniilrlril Ait will noil It.
4
?
Dance Hall Opening
At Swan Lake Valley where the Swan Lake Lumber
Co. is operating. Good Music. ' Fine Floor. Re
freshments. Fine Camp Grounds.
OPENING DANCE SATURDAY NIGHT
J GOOD TIME
EVERYONE INVITED X
l STEAKS
CHOPS
BAKRITE BREAD
THE REX CAFE
IS NOW READY TO RETAIL
BREAD, PIES, FRENCH PASTRY
AND ALL OTHER HIGH CLASS
PASTRIES TO THE PUBLIC.' ON'
SALE AT THE MAZE CONFECTION
ERY. STORE, PALACE MEAT MAR
KET, THE REX CAFE.
f THE REX CAFEi!
ii. ' " r !!
Ilrothir ll.ik'-r, who In a ban! it an
wi'll nit a flatu'r. una a' contort 'ti tlu
ntriot tomorrow by a hobo, who anki'il
llrothiir Ilaki r If hit would nivn Mm
Iwifbltn to i "t Homi-lhitiK I" 'at on
llakor li roiiii'lhiiiK Hkn lllcithiT
Hloucli of n vnr) rcllcliiUH turn of
mind, no ho Imint'dlnti-ly Htiirt'd In
to li'clurn tho rtlff on tlm folly of hit
nn)n "Why do ou know," Kaid
IIiiUit "I Ktnrti'd II fi- an a littlit baru
funti'd boy." "Wi'll," rnplli-i! thu
tramp, "I'm hero to toll you that I
w u n't born with a pilr of nhoi-H on."
A hum wan hauled bofnro Al I.ca
vltt mil' day lant rrk and In Mn
IttiiiliiK hi m to two dii) In tlm ran to
noliir him up nmarkid "It I wan In
your plari., I'd nhoot myMslf." "Tlm
hum rrplii'd "lllc if yoim In hlc
my plar- hit ou couldn't hlc
hit a barn hlc door."
Don't lutlcvc wi' havo cyrr handed
Mr HlnuKh onu In thin column "jet,
and an wo cannot pann no worthy a
Kuntmman up horn Kit-n. A hobo
axki'd llroltmr .'llour.li ycatnrday If ho
en u hi nlvn him noiurthlnc to cat.
Now folk, Urn. SlouRh has noviir yol
tiiruid n hobo down by Imrk, but
thin bird looked auHptclonn to him so
ho drcldi'd to iiumtlon him it llttlo an
to tlm n-annn of hln paupi-rlam.
"How do you coum to bo broko?"
unkfil Old Man Slough, "thuru'a Iota
of work In Klamath Falls, and there's
no iip iJ of any man bclnr on tho
humtmir " "Wtdl." replloil to bo. "I
wan shot In the war and ran't work."
"Oh," said Urothnr Slough, "that'll
illfforoiit Whero wcro you Injured?
"In thi spinal column," replied thu
stiff. ".Vow ou just go right on
about your bunlnms," quoth Slouch.
There never wi such a battle."
e As nmnitn.r of thu Rule t Torn
mltti'i on I'ntied Htatcn tnippii.
Ilouid opi'i iiioiM Kntiri'K. iiIhii
KmOcr l(jiiinlii,in ol Ohio in ii.
lo nmiiv.,r Hint nieoVMi i-i'ji.
hliinh on Km wi'siern trip of ii
coinimtlfM wMrh bMVh rcniiltcd n
lironii ulloiiM fi m) finimrtlimiil i,l
JunMfM In iIjh h"Mrlnnot tlm torn
miili-M in Wiinhlnrioii. fli.Tirni'in.
ri Ko,tr proved n lji. mft
in on trimi-.ixiiiiiiiiMiiMi ,,( wii.
rmnmin li ku, a protucuilUK ill
toriixy of nin lounty foi mIj'Iii
ynurkVM,k iurmiH.r nf tn.
lioutu Coiiiiuillcti ol, Kpyii(jlur
h "ubllf lIulldlUK mill u .twun
-lio llirlior.
store. Naturally belnc Intcreitcd In
seelnK what kind of a salesman tho
plllreller Is we stuck around. Tho
customer didn't seem to bite as well
as he should have, and the pill-roller
was innWlnc desperato attempts to
hook him.
Houston Opera
House
2 NIGHTS 0NLY--2
Tonight and Weckese&y Night
JUNE 22-23
As n final effort th pill-roller told
bis primrxrllve letlm "If' you oncoi
like n h.vtln of this tonic, and give
It a trial, f feel i-ure thnt you will
never us" nny other " "Kicuse me,."
replied the prospective victim as he
wnlked rut. "hut I prefer somethlnK
lesn fatal" And the V. It. lost the,
sale.
Shortly nfler the episode Just al
luded to occurred, Joe Woods, a pill
roller from I'nwrrs ft Kates In I'ort
land, camn In. "flay." said Joe,
"plmme n llttlo whisky " "Can't do
It," replied Pope "Wo are only al
lowed to r"ll liquor fcr medical pur
poses." "Well that's what I want It
for," said ly. "This blooming burg
gives me n pain." (lues Pope tried
to sell him a bottle of Peptona or
something clre In tho tonic line.
Illll Kay asked us the other day
why a grasshopper was like a grans
widow We replied that they were
both willing to Jump at the first opportunity.
Wu heard a couple of womon
speaking thu praises of cur friend
Andy Souls yeiterda) (no wo'ro not
through with you jet, Andy) nnd one
nalil to the other "I always have Dr
oouln when I"m sick. When my
mother was at death's door he pulteil
her through " Well, that may be all
right too, but the next time I meet
Andy, I'm going to ask him which
way be pulled that old lady.
pMHMIt-"
GOODMAN & HUGHES FRESENTS
BURT SOUTHERN
And a Company of Fun-Makero in the Riotous Farce
"Hen Pecked Henry"
15 VAUDEVILLE ACTS
Not One Dull Moment Permeating V:lh Liughter
A BEVY OF BEW1TCHINGLY BEAUTIFUL
BELLES .
ADMISSION $1.00 RESERVED SEATS $1.50
'Seats Now on Sale at tlxs Opera House
A farmer once called his cox Zephyr CmiU rnn ewy dIroctlon
She seamed huch an amiable, bephyr Bangkok tho capIUI of slajBf
Wten the farmer drew near Jar0 E0 numerous tbnt tho Blame
She kicked off hla car aro rrou,i to can their city the Vem
And no the farmer's much depbyr. tce 0f tue ij-,wt. '
FISH
OYSTERS
Loo Merrill has a Sunday school
class, and in that class is an incorrig
ible yoath lie's got an Incorrigible
teacher, but that's aside from the
question. lie's a pretty good-natared
sort of a gay, to we don't mind rap
ping htm a little. But anyhow this
kid ot Merritt'H drove him almost to
distraction one, Sunday morning with
his pranks, etc., and finally In ox
usperatlon Leo said to tho kid, "Billy
I'm ufruld I'll never soe you In
henvnn." "Why," naked tho Incor
rigible one, "what e been doln'
now."
Hoc. Siiulo met Doc. Hunt oster
day moruing. uml, iih usual, stopped
to have a fluit. and talk over their
different patients. "Say Doc." said
Andy Soule, I've got n very peculiar
caso on my hands now what would
ou do for It?" "Well, what mirt of
a cane is It." asked Wnrron. "Why
It's u griitm widow affected with buy
fever," replied Andy, na ho stroked
hU uiouMachi), adjusted his cowboy
nut ana passed ou.
and what's more
you can't buy a better cigarette
no matter what you're willing to pay!
GREAT thing to be cigarette contented like you'll
find yourself with Camels an expert blend of
choice Turkish and choice Domestic tobaccos which
you will prefer to either kind smoked mtraightl
Camels are a revelation in flavor, in refreshing good
ness, in smooth, mellow-mildness. Yet, Camels hav
a delightful "body" that meets your keenest desires.
Camels are so good you win want to smoke
them liberally. And, you may for Camels never
tire your taste! Camels quality and Camels
blend take care of thatl Ycu will also eniov
Camels freedom from any unpleasant cigaretty
iJtertasie or unpleasant cigaretty odor.
f you want to got some paroonal information
about Camels co.n-
HUT .'Mi WflLflLil
BjKL Hfi 1 1 fnBB
"' B Me uialii' '
jJyjmBBLff
l,o n u Star asked Andy Soule short
ly after tho above took plaeo, if It
wore Injurious to eat a clove onco
In a while. "Well, that depends a
great deal upon the spirit with which
you da It," replied Andy.
rill-roller Pope was trying to mil
a customer a bottle of aome sort ot a
tonlo dope lost' Saturday, when Lone
mm
im
I Kill IV rfBijr?fc. .. If
$$ TJHi y cigarette ii. C 1A i ,'
HiiiiiHLil I I ill .'' I IHeW Csawfs mrm oHnrcywfcttnnhiMnrilSif irhW
EliPViHieal lliUll I IBBk ilQitirttrtat 30umt,ottatipmckttmSJb0aimmS
yy
la
Star tuppentd to waadar Into the
, j
MJUUAMJUMAsH