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About The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 3, 1902)
Impaired Digestion Hou Many There Were. “Oh, mamma!” exclaimed little Johnny, as he rushed into the house, “there are 2<Mldogs in our back yard. ” “Are yon »tire that there are that many?'’ asked his mother. “Well." replied Johnny, “there is our dog ami another one, anyway.” May not be all that is meant by dyspepsia now, but it will be if neglected. The uneasiness after eating, fits of nerv« ous headache, sourness of the stomach, and disagreeable belching may not be very bad now, but they will be if the stomach is suffered to grow weaker. Dyspepsia is such a miserable disease The Union Idea. that the tendency to it should be given “Did you tip him off to the po early attention. This is completely over lice?’’ come by “Sure,” answered the confidence man. "Why?” , “He’s a non union safe blower.” which strengthen! ihewhoit.'digestive system Hood’s Sarsaparilla The Worm Turned. Dentist (to patient from Waybaek) ■—Did you ever take gas before? Patient—Look here, smarty! That joke’s gone far enough. You bin talking’ to that fresh hotel clerk, ain’t you? A Good Way to Begin 190'5. Cleanse the system, purify the blood and reg. Ulate the live», kidneys, stomach and bowels with | he Herb medicine, Garlic Id 'lea, thus in suring health and happiness for the New Year. Objected to Insects as Food. The municipality of Geneva manti- ÇZTQ Permanently Cured. .,<• i: u. a I I © alter .»f I ’• Mute' tir ;! Ncn ' factures its own gas. owns water works Restorer. Semi t<»r Ft I EE S’J.OC ti lui 1 ■ tHe * h .I ti t .t and furnishes electric light anti power >o. Dn.B.H K lim , l.ui ’ ’I '’iula<i Ithia. 1G to the city. ’The electric power is Trustful in Some Things. ' obtained from the Rhone, on which ! river the council has established an Brown—It’s curious about people’s ! elaborate turbine system. beliefs. They will give entire cre dence to the most absurd things, and 'put no faith whatever in the most obvious truths. Black — Yes, I’ve noticed it. There’s Green, now. He hasn’t the least confidence in hash; but he'll eat SISTERS OF CHARITY Pe-ru-na for Coughs, Colds, Grip and Catarrh A Coneressmans Letter. Need Going After. “Do you believe that all tilings come to him who waits?” ‘“No” replied the hustler, deci sively. Pretty nearly everything that a man wants doesn’t come to him who waits, but the things worth having come to him who gets up and humps himsetlf. ”—Chicago News. Former White House Mistresses. Residing in Washington at present are three former mistresses of the White House—Mrs. Letitia Tyler Semple, daughter of President Tyler; Mrs. Harriet Lane Johnson, niece of James Buchanan , and Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant. Wish All a Happy New Year. The happiness that ponies with good health is given to all who use Nature’s giit—Garfield Tea. This Het h Cure cleanses the system, pur ifies the blood and removes the cause of dis ease. Sounded Familiar. Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their children during the teething period. A Rap at Kipling. A London writer, annoyed by hav- ing to search for the sense in Kip- ling’s latest verses, declares that the “poem” seems to be “an attempt to translate four intelligible lines of prose into fourteen unintelligible lines of verse ” DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CVRKIÌ By local application«, ns they cannot reach the dis.a-.d i o-ti.n ,,t me rar. There is only tine way locure <!■ aine!->. and that is by constitu tional r<e . Dimiu-s is caused bv an in- tlmiie i coiidii ion of the mucous lining of the EustuebiHU lulie. When this tube gets in- flailed . on have a rumbling ■'onnd or nnper- teeth nroe .aud when it is entirely closed den .... is th- lesulr, ntol 11 a les. i: i e i n ti am ¡na tion can be taken out ami fl: is tube restored to its normal condition, hear ing w ill bo dost roved iorever; nine cases out < t tn are caused bv cntnrh li. w l.i< li is nothing lull an inflamed Condi: :<>n oi tlie nitteons surfae. s. Wewdlgive Ore Hundred Hollars for any Caso < I Ilea oiBed by . I'arrh) tliat can not be cured by Hall's < atarrh Cure. Bend for circulars, tree. F. J. CHENEY i CO., Toledo, O. Bold by Druggists, 7.ic Dr. Hartman receives many letters from Catholic Sisters all over the United States. A recommend recently received from a Catholic institution in Detroit, Mich., reads as follows: ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ Detroit, Mich., Oct. 8. 1901. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ Dr. S. B. Hartman, Columbus, Ohio: ♦ ♦ Dear Sir—“The young girl who used the Peruna was suf ♦ ♦ ♦ fering from laryngitis, and loss of voice. The result of the ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ treatment was most satisfactory. She found great relief,and ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ after farther use of the medicine we hope to be able to say ♦ ♦ ♦ she is entirely cured.” SISTERS OF CHARITY. ♦ ♦ ♦ : This young girl was under the care of the Sisters of Charity and ♦ ♦ used Peruna for catarrh of the throat, with good results, as the above ♦ ♦ ♦ * ♦ etter testifies. ♦ ♦ SISTERS OF CHARITY a little mort Dealing in Mouse Whiskers. Dr. Hartman, one of the best known in the physicians and surgeons United States, was the first to form- It was through his ulate Peruna. genius and perseverance that it was introduced to the medical profession ' man, giving a full statement of your j case, and he will be pleased to give ' you his valuable advice gratis. Address Dr. Hartman, Preqjdent of The Hartman Sanitarium, Coluni- I bus, Ohio. The Oldest and Best The Boy Could Direct Her. Not the Same. Cholly—I understand you said no Lady—Little boy, can you direct girl would ever marry Gussie Gayboy me to Blank’s shoe store? Small Boy—Yes’m. You go right or me because we were too fastidious. Miss Peppery—You didn’t catch it down this street till you come to a quite right. I said you were two drug store. fast idiots.—Philadelphia Press. Lady—Yes; and then— Small Boy—Then you go in the I do not believe Piso’s Cure for Con drug store and look in the directory. sumption has an equal for coughs anil colds,—J ohn F. B ov kb , Trinity Springs, Ind., Feb. 15. 1!MX). Commonplace. “Some people seem to think he’s a genius. ” Oh! he can’t be. He’s too method ical.” “Is he, really?” “Very. Somebody gave him a silver match safe over a month ago, and he still keeps his matches in it.” —Philadelphia Press. Rats and the Dog. Gentleman (indignantly) —When I bought this dog, you said he was Why, he don’t splendid for rats, touch them. Dog Dealer — Well, ain’t that splendid for rats?—Tit-Bits. DO YOU The Proof. WORK IN THE WET? THE ORIGINAL Then the defiant militant spirit took possession of the devoted miss ionary. You think I’m a pudding!’ cried. I’ll show you j am not!’ The proof of the pudding is in the eating!” rejoined the savage darkly.— Detroit Free Press. itf’ X H< Would Enjoy IL "Did your father use to whip when you was a boy?” asked youngster wl.o had been chastised. “Did he?” rejteated the old gentle man, reflectively. “In those days parents were made of sterner stuff, and he used to whale me with a strap. ” The boy’s eyes brightened instant- >y- "Golly!” he cried. “I’d like to see him do it now.“—Chicago Poet. z OILED CLOTMINC- SCACS 0« TLLLOW I» SUBÌ PROTECTION PUOI roVSERVI«, mott H* CATALOGUES FREE SHOWING PULL LINE OP GARMENTS ANP MATS A J TOWER CO.BO3TON.MA55 •> Mi GUMS WHfRf JUL tLSt FAILS. Beat ' *>ueh Syrtip. V< in time. Sold druggist«. D. M. FERRY A. CO. Detroit, Mich. HOOSIER DRILLS Before They Ripen. Are best because they are thoroughly well made <>i best niHt- i iiil. ’ Are * ’ ■' stronger anti " heavier l he feed is than otners, hence more durable. __ I, anti absolutely accurate, reliable and positiv., ___ will sow same quantity, np or down hill or oil side hill. Hoosier Drills are cheapest because BEST. We keep full stock of repairs at princi- pal points in the Northwest. Uaialogue free. MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAYER CO. First and Taylor Sts. Portland, Oregon. JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, Foot of M arrisoli -SirMt. Can give yon Buggies, ¡‘lows. Windmills and Machinery. See the best bargains in limiers and Engines, Plinio.» ani (ietterai us tielore buying. SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. BISHOP SCOTT ACADEMY Portland, Oregon. Founded 1870. Write for Illustrated Catalogue. ARTHUR C. NEWILL, Principal ...Columbia University Academic and Collegiate Halls. COURSES Classical. Literary, scientific and Commercial. For particulars itpply to REV. E. P. MURPHY, President, University Park, Portland, Oregon Holiday Resolutions iT? Keeley Cure bine relief fiom liquor, opium and tooaao© habiu, bend for partioaUrt to The Most Suitable *?or nn <)regotiian is An Allesina Rust-Proof Keeley Institute, Umbrella. JOHN ALLESINA, Portland. All Over United States Use Pe-ru-na for Catarrh. ty kind 11APJ annual free. The business done in mouse whis kers is considerable this year.for they uro used in the making of the won derful new tly for fishermen—the new gray gnat . Anti they are expensive —nearly two cents it whisker Trout rise very much better at mouse whis ker tlies than at the same “gnat” dressed in jungle-cock hackles, which look very much like them.. Sue Brett—Where did you spend “Hello! Where are you going?” cried the lion as the fleet footed stag your vacation? Ham Lett—In the country. dashed by him. Sue Brett — Have a good time? “Oh, I’m just traveling for my Ham Lett—Sure. It was a genuine health, ” panted the stag. “Why do pleasure to find a place where there you ask?” “My friend the tiger invited me to were only fresh eggs.—Chicago News. participate in a stag dinner party to Women in Tobacco Factories. day, and I was wondering if you were the party.” There are twenty tobacco factories in France—three in Paris ami the Automatic Locomotive Stoker. others in the large cities. In 189‘J An automatic locomotive stoker has they employed 17,184 hands, 15,732 oi made its appearance on the Pan whonl were women and girls. Be handle and it bids fair to make the sides these there are 714 persons em firemans position a sinecure. Despite ployed as directors, overseers, fore- the fact that the contrivance is said men, etc. tc be proving a success, there is no talk of doing without the services of A Lawyer’s Witty Reply. tiremen. who will be expected to take The Green Bag tells of a lawyer more part in the tunning of the en who was about to furnish a bill of gines, provided the fuel is taken care costs. “I hope” said the client, who was a baker, "that you will make it as light as possible.” “Ah,” said Harder. the lawyer, “you might perhaps say Author—There! I’ve finished that that to the foreman of your establish novel in three weeks, and now I must ment, but that is not file way I make not be interrupted for six months. my bread.” His Wife—What are you going to do now? Goat Herds and No Forests. Author—I’m going to write a short story. — Harper’s Bazar. Greece pays dearly for her goats. They are everywhere, and wherever A Gentle Little Knock. they are young trees can not grow, “Ah, yes!” sighed the young poet, says the Forest Leaves. The holm “when I’m dead I suppose the people oak, for exampe, if left to itself at who neglect me now will be making tains a height of thirty or forty feet; pilgrimages to my grave’.” but it is usually kept down by the “Why?” she asked—“to make sure goats to the dimensions of a shrub, at that the news is not too good to be the top of which they continually true?”—Chicago Record Herald. gnaw. PfCSCllt The Farmer The Gardener The Housewife A Christiiiaa Dinner That Wiw Not Eaten because of indigestion: this sorry tale would not have t een told if the system had been reg ulated and the digestion perfected by the u-e ©f Nature’s remedy , Garfield lea. This won derful Herb medicine cures all forms of stom- a< h, liver anti bowel derangements, cleanses the system, purities the blood ami lays the foundation for long life ami continued good health. Garfield Tea is equally good for young and old. 309 MORRISON STREET. want him to complete a set. Mr. Brown—When I saw him a moment ago, Mrs. Swell, he said that he was headed for the free lunch counter—that is, for the banquet hall. May I call him for you, Mrs. Swell? THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO, ATLANTA, «JU you ... At Our ___ _____ New Store, ____ 286 Washington „ Street. The Largest Exclusive Umbrella Emporium West of Chicago. From a Catholic institution in Ohio comes the following recommend from the Sister Superior: “Some years ago a friend of our in stitution recommended to us Dr. Hart man’s Peruna as an excellent remedy for the infuenza of which we then had several cases which threatened to be I of a serious character. “We began to use it and experienced Hall’s Family Pills are the best. such wonderful results that since then DAVID ME WK I SON. Peruna has become our favorite medi A Dinner Dance. cine for influenza, catarrh, cold, cough If you do not receive prompt and Mrs. Swell—Do you know where and bronchitis.” satisfactory results from the use of Mr. Dancer is, Mr. Brown? We SISTER SUPERIOR. Peruna, write at once to Dr. llart- S. S. S. is a combination of roots and herbs of great curative powers, and when taken into the circulation searches out and removes all manner of poisons from the blood, without the least shock or harm to the system. On the contrary, the general health begins to improve from the first dose, for S. S. S. is not only a blood purifier, but an excellent tonic, and strength ens and builds up the constitution while purging the blood of impuri ties. S. S. S. cures all diseases of a blood poison origin, Cancer, Scrofula, Rheumatism, Chronic Sores and Ulcers, Eczema, Psoriasis, Salt Rheum, Herpes and similar troubles, and is an infallible cure anti the only antidote for that most horrible disease, Contagious Blood Poison. A record of nearly’ fi“y years of successful cures is a record to be proud of. S. S. S. is more popular today tha:. ever. It numlicrs its friends by the thousands. Our medical corres pondence is larger than ever in the history of the medicine. Many’ write to thank us for the great good S. S. S. has done them, while others are seek ing advice about their cases. All letters receive prompt and careful attention. Our physicians have made a life-long studyof Blood and Skin Dis eases, and better understand such cases than the ordinary’ practitioner who makes a specialty of no one disease. We are doing great good to suffering humanity through our c insulting de- partment, and invite you to write us if you have any blood or skin trouble. We make no charge whatever for this service. you tell the going to call Jungle Talk. Why experiment with untried remit- <1 e- for pain? Uso Wizard 0.1 at once, ami be happy. Your druggist has it. "You wretch! You miscreant! You worst of all villians!” exclaimed the heroine at rehersal. The heavy villain, who had just joined the company, look patiently aggrieved, and said : “Excuse me; is that in the part, or are you acting as stage manager?” — Washington Star. Money for Her. Little Edith had never seen a lob Mr. Gill—I dreamd the other night ster before, and when dining at the that I was going around in rags. home of a playmate she was offered a Fortune Teller—Ah! that means portion, she politely replied: “No, money! thank you; 1 never eat grasshopper.” Mr. Gill—Docs it really, madam? Fortune Teller—Yes indeeid. One * dollar, please. — Philadelphia Press. Municipality Own, Utilities. (Two Stores.) 286 WASHINGTON STREET. N. p. N. u. No. I writing tc, advertisers nienti this paper* W HEN : ji > 1HO’ please
