Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904 | View Entire Issue (July 26, 1901)
Repartee Ab Ovo.
“Hello!" exclaimed the egg that
May not be all that la meant by dytj^ptia
was still intact, “you appear to be all
noW, but It will be if neglected.
The uneasiness after eating, fits of nerv
“Nevertheless,” replied the one in
ous headache, sourness of the stomach, and
the bowl of eggnog, “I’m in good
disagreeable belching may not be very bad
now, but they will be if the stomach is
“So I observe. I suppose you’ll be
suffered to grow weaker.
drunk in a little while.”
Dyspepsia is such a miserable disease
that the tendency to it should be given
early attention. This is completely over
which strengthens thewhole digestive system
One Use for a Missionary.
Rev. Mr. Goodleigh—I understand
that the last missionary that was here
was esteemed very much by you?
Chief Uppi—No, sah; we roasted
Couldn't Pawn It.
A Balloon Ascensionlst Killed.
Mr. Straits—It may seem a strange
thing for me to do on such a short
acquaintance, Miss Slasher, but I
have called to pledge you my love.
Miss Slasher—You have made a
mistake, Mr. Straits. Miss Eisen-
heffer, the pawnbroker’s daughter,
lives in the next block.
A balloon ascensionist was recently kill
ed while making one of his daring trips.
Life is too valuable to »ride with in fool
hardy adventures. It is better to employ
our>elves in peaceful pursuits where we
may be secure. Then if we take care of
our health, we can live io a good old age.
The best means of prompting good health
is Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters. This med
icine cures dvspepsia. indigestion, consti
pation, flatulency and insomnia. Be sure
to try it.
Th* Best Prescription for Malaria
Chills and Fever is a bottle of Grove’s Tasteless
Chiu Tonic. It is simply Iron and quinine in
a tasteless form. No Cure. No Pay. Price 50c.
Erastus—Why is er tack like lim-
Surely It Does.
burger cheese. Ephriam?
Daughter—Wnich is correct, papa,
Erastus—Cuz dey is bofe easy to
Miss Brown married Mr. Smith, or
find in de dark.
Mr. Smith married Miss Brown?
Papa— That depends, my child.
Had he the money, or had she?
Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infal
lible medicine for coughs and colds.—N.
W. 3 amckl . Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb. 17,
World'i Record Apple.
The Teaoher Injured In a Run-
away Accident and Reported
to Have Gone Insane.
British Columbia grew the worlds
record apple last year.
It was 16
inches in circumference and weighed
In October, 1896, one Monday
one pound and three ounces.
morning the Rushford school did not
open and it was reported that the
teacher had gone insane. The physi
At Menlo Park, San Mateo County, Cal., with
Its beautiful, surroundings, perfect climate, cian in attendance pronounced the
careful supervision, thorough instruction, trouble nervous prostration and said
complete laboratories, and gymnasium, easily that school work was mentally and
maintains its position in the front ranks of
schools for boys on the Pacific Coast. Ira G. physically impossible.
Hoitt, Ph. D., Principal.
who is now Mrs. L. A. Gullickson, of
Rushford, Minn., in a recent inter
How She Knew,
view published in the Star of that
Little Sister—I guess you accepted place, gives the true story of the event.
“To begin at the beginning,” she
The Grown-up One— What makes said, “when I was about seven years
you think so?
of age a sudden fright brought on a
Little Sister— He don’t give me dreadful condition of nerv-ousness.
candy any more.
When, in 1896, I was injured in a
runaway accident, this, combined with
Beware of O1 ntmentfl for Catarrh That my former trouble, made me so ill
that I was unable to open school the
At mercury will surely destroy the sense of following Monday.”
smell and completely derange the whole sys
tem when entering it through the mucous sur
“Was it true that you were report
faces. Buch articles should never be used ex
cept on prescriptions from reputable physi ed to be insane?” asked the inter
cians, as the damage they will do is ten fola to viewer.
the good you can possibly derive from them.
“Yes, and the members of my
Hall’s Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney A Co., Toledo, O., contains no mercury, family thought that I was becoming
and is taken internally, acting directly upon so. Words do not express the agony
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
In buying Hall’s Catarrh Cure be sure you get I endured with my head and eyes.
the genuine. It is taken internally, and made
in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney A Co. Testi The least noise would cut through
my nerves like a knife.
I was hot
Sold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
and cold by flashes, had piercing
Hall’s Family Pills are the best.
pains in my temples and in the back
of my head and a red mist was con
Sullivan's Instruments Sold Well.
stantly before my eyes.
Sixteen of the violins and violon
“I was dizzy and faint with fearful
cellos owned by the late Sir Arthur nausea, which nothing relieved. I
Sullivan were recently sold for $1,- could take no solid food for 10 days,
800. The greatest price realized for but lived on milk and lime water.
any one of the instruments was $850, When the doctor had treated me for
which was paid for a violoncello by nearly six weeks without helping me,
Mrs. J. Webster, a nearby friend,
recommended Dr. Williams’ Rink
FOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
I took them
When vou take Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic, Pills for Pale People.
because the formula is plainly printed on every faithfully for not quite three months
bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui and was perfectly cured.
I have never
nine in a tasteless form. No Cure, Ne Pay. 50c.
heard of a single case where they did
not prove beneficial and know of sev
“How can you go out with Fred eral persons who have taken them suc
He is such a cessfully for rheumatism.”
Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale
“What if he is?
He spends it People are not like other medicines.
They act directly on the blood and
nearly all on me. ’’
nerves. This makes them invaluable
in such diseases as locomotor ataxia,
1 Try Before You Buy!
Ten cents buys a box of Cascarets, but if yon partial paralysis, St. VituB’ dance,
want a free sample and booklet adress Sterling sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nerv
Remedy Company .Chicago or New York to-day I
ous headache, the after effects of the
grip, palpitation of the heart, pale
Quakers In Cuba.
One of the curiosities of Cuba is a and sallow complexions and all forms
Quaker meeting house which has been of weakness either in male or female.
At all druggists or direct from Dr.
erected at Gibara, near Santiago.
The congregation of Friends is said to Williams Medicine Co., Schenectady,
Price 50 cents per box; six
number over 200.
SOME NEW INVENTIONS.
The novelty of the Hull hammock
consists in its ability to keep on the
shady side of the tree at all hours of
the day. and it also has the advantage
of being adapted for use on a single
tree or the side of a bouse where only
one support is available. Of course, it
will not curve from eud to end like the
ordinary hammock, but It has a swing
ing motion of Its own, and it can be
made quite as comfortable for resting
as those now in use. The attachment
to the tree is made by a ball and socket
joint, and the two hooks, with the sus
pending cables, the joint allowing the
hammock to swing laterally in substan
tially the same place. By providing
duplicate heads for suspending the
hammock it can be moved around the
tree into another position as the day
advances, thus always keeping under
the shady side of the tree, and when
not In use it folds up flat for storage in
Many aids for the kindergarteners are
already in common use in schools for
the smaller children, and now the
typewriter Is to lie added, making It
possible to spell the name of any object
and aid the children In learning the
alphabet. Tile type faces are formed
on separate blocks Inserted In the face
of a circular band, which Is rotated by
the left hand to bring the letter desired
opposite the striking hammer, the lat
ter being connected with the key by
the horizontal rod. The circular pro
jections on either side of the hammer
contain inking rollers, and as the type
faces are revolved to bring the desired
one in front of the striker it Is inked
by one of the rollers. The paper Is in
serted in a sliding carriage in conjunc
tion with the hammer when it is de
sired to write a sentence, and by asso
ciating a picture with the letter the
child soon learns to recognize the lat
ter at sight. If it is desired to vary the
pictures the printing disk can be re
moved and another Inserted In Its
place. The machine is also capable of
use for writing business letters, and
has cheapness and simplicity to recom
To Motììeps of
In this workaday world few women
are so placed that physical exertion
is not constantly demanded of them in
their daily life.
We make a special appeal to mothers
of large families whose work is nevei
done, and many of whom suffer, and
Buffer for lack of intelligent aid.
To women, young or old, rich or
poor, we extend an invitation to accept
tree advice. Oh, women 1 do not let
The Grip of Etiquette.
“What? Marry you?” cried the fair
“Why, you are only an
apology for a man."
“True,” he sighed; “but you are
not so lacking in courtesy as to fail
to accept an apology.”
Her boarding house etiquette for
bade her flying in the face of conven
tion, so she resigned herself to fate.
Poems by King James I.
Little Liver Pills.
Th A ChiliANINDEX K
I III dlllll THE BLOOD
A Jungle Telephone.
Peculiar to Summer Weather
Promptly Cured by Pe-ru-na.
"Yes, I'm studying French.
going to take a run over to Paris,
you 1 now.”
Miss Marie Coats, president of the
"So vou think that will help you,
Appleton Young Ladies’ Club, writes'
"Why, certainly. It’s easy enough the following concerning Peruna:
to speak the language."
The Peruna Medicine Co., Colum
"Yes, but it's hard to make the
Frenchman understand it.”
Gentlemen—"I find Peruna an ex
cellent spring and summer medicine
Knew His Failings.
and am glad to call the attention of
Mas. C abbib Biuinux
Mr. Homely is not a beauty and he my friends to it. When that languid,
your lives be sacrificed when a word of
tired feeling comes over you, and
advice at the first approach of weak born be asked:
your food no longer tastes good, and
"Does it look like me?"
neas, may fill your future years with
small annoyances irritates you, Peru
healthy joy. Address a letter to Mrs.
Of course they said yes.
na will make you feel like another
Pinkham's Laboratory, Lynn Maas.,
“Well," said he, "you must break person inside of a week. I have now
and you will not be disappointed.
it to my wife gently."
used it for three seasons and find it
“ When 1 began to take Lydia E.
very reliable and efficacious. ”—Marie
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound I war
The Gentle Beggar.
not able to do my housework. I suf
fered terribly at time of menstruation.
“I’m hungry, sir, ” said the beggar.
If you do not derive prompt and
Several doctors told me they could de "Won’t you give me enough to get a satisfactory results from the use of
nothing forme. Thanks to the Pink
Peruna, write at once to Dr. Hart
ham advice and medicine I am now
"Here, my good man,” said Mr. man, giving a full statement of your
well, and can do the work for eight 1*
Pompus, "here's a penny for you.” case and he will be pleased to give
the family. A
“O! thank you, sir. By the way, you his valuable advice gratis.
“ I would recommend Lydia E. Pink
Address Dr. Hartman, president of
ham's Vegetable Compound to all have you a pepsin tablet about you?
mothers with large families.”—M rs . I always get dyspepsia when I overeat The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
C aj UUB BXU.XVILI.K, Ludington. Mich
An interesting literary discovery is
ARE PAID TO SMOKE PIPES.
reported from Oxford, where a num
The Professional Meerschaum Colorers ber of hitherto unknown poems by
King James I have been found in the
Make a Good Living at It.
They are stated
Coloring meerschaum is a long and Bodleian library.
delicate process, and unless a man likes t-o be undoubtedly genuine and bear
to do a difficult feat there is no reason the royal autograph.
why he should sot himself to the task
TO CUBE A COLD IN ONE DAT
of putting a beautiful shade on his cost Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablet*. AU
druggist* refund the money if it fail* to cur*.
ly pipe. That is a business in itself, K.
W. Grove’s signature Ison each box. 2.'«.
and an experienced smoker knows, or
Live Up Stairs and Be Healthy.
can learn the location of establlshmests
to which he can take his pipe and have
Scientists have declared that the
it smoked until the desired color is ob purest air in cities is found about 52
tained. Such an enterprise exists in feet above the street, and hence it is
the outskirts of lyondon, and makes a concluded that the healthiest apart
fine competence for its proprietor, an ments are those on the third floor.
Austrian. It is a large house that used
to be the country seat of an English
gentleman. Hither come every day a
score of young men who are the expert
enced employes of the house. They
pass upstairs to the business room In
the rear of the house, seat themselves
in armchairs, and forthwith begin
their day's work of smoking nicer
schaum pipes. Each one knows the art
of smoking steadily, neither too fast
nor too slow. The tobacco they use is
a special blend of the proprietor's, for
he knows it is only rarely that the right
kind of tobacco is used for tlilk pur
pose. The bowls of the pipes which
these young men smoke are covered
with wash leather, so that they cannot
by any chance be harmed or improperly
The highly accomplished among these
Must Bear Signature of
young fellows can get away with four
ounces of tobacco a day. They are paid
well, and they have their regular holl
Some of them have been with
their employer for five years. But It
isn't a business in which one may stay
a lifetime, for, though they appear to
be able to smoke for years, night and
day without hurting them, when they
get to tie old men their occupation has
made them too nervous to be useful. |
The proprietor himself smokes not at
all. except when he Is teaching an ap
Paul Revert’» Invention.
One Glance Was Enough.
prentice how to go about ft. The new I
Paul Revere, the famous revolu
Mr. Cityman—What on earth do hand receives a cheap pipe, and after
tionary hero, was an inventor and
was the first in this country to refine you want with such an enormous being told how to go ahead is left to
himself to show what he can do. There
and roll copper.
The concern he woodpile?
Mr. Subbubs— Protection against are prize competitions, and these thirty
founded in 1801, the Revere Copper
newly arrived young men who are on
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
Co., still exists at Canton, Mass.
an upper floor when they become pro
flcient are graduated to take their seats
Our People Well Fed.
with the notables on the second floor. |
I The people of the United States
This kind of work, as a rule, takes all are the best fed people of the world,
the time ami attention of the men. but and consume more per head and year
some of them are so perfect that they than the inhabitants of any other
can devote themselves to designing country of the world.
shapes and figures for new pipes, spe CITQ Permanently Cared. No fits or nervousner
Millions of little glands or tubes connect the blood withThe skin, and throyiRTi
■ I IQ after first lay>
of Dr Kliao’n Great Nerve
these small drain pipes perspiration passes out, carrying with it the impurities that cial attention being given to the possi Restorer.
Send fur FR EE $2.00 trial bottle and treat
are thrown off by the blood. Should the pores of the skin be entirely closed for bility of producing quaint effects In th-- ise. D b .R.H
K line . Ltd ,v3i ArchSt., Philadelphia,Pa.
even a brief space of time, and the poisonous matter forced back into the circula coloring.
Aggrieved Woman Aquitted*
tion instant death would result. Tn addition to the sweat glands, the skin is
The liest meerschaums, ft Is said,
provided with certain others which pour out upon it an oily substance, keeping
in Adrian, Mich., who
the skin pliable and soft and protecting it from heat and cold The blood and skin come from Turkey, and the designs are protested without avail against a
are so closelv related that whatever affects one senoualv interferes with the func worked out and cut upon the meer
gambling den which got all her hus
tions of the other. Not only health, but life itself depends upon perfect harmony scliatim In Vienna.
band’s earnings, set out with a can of
between the blood and skin. When, therefore, the -
Probably the class who are the best
blood becomes poisoned from any cause, it quickly IftlSmai 000 buyers of these colored-to-order meer- , kerosene and burned the place to the
manifests itself upon the skin in the form —
■ DnJanne schaums is collegians, who want to ground. She was acquitted in court.
of sores and ulcers, pimples and various ^^X.fGPf9Gf
! S G fl S
show fine pipes, but who have neither
eruptive diseases. By the character of the
wrt w' are enabled to determine the nature of the poison or humor in the blood, the patience nor the skill to produce the
as every disease originating in the blood has its own peculiar sore or pimple. The effect themselves.—New York Press.
skin i7not only *tErt*d by the poisons generated in the system, but poisons from
without enter through the open glands or pore* “4 qu»ckly infect the blood.
Mercury rubbed upon the skin will produce Rheumatism, and Poison Oak and Ivy
other wild plants gain easy access to the blood through the skin. As so-called
diseases originate in the blood, the application
of powders, soaps and washes can do no permanent
good, but often do immense damage by
BArffV closing up the outlet to these little tubes
with the Batural action
of the skia. The treatment must begin with the blood, and the acid or other pois-
ons antidoted or neutralized. S. S. S. does this and punfies the circulation, builds
np the blood and flushes the little elands or pores with pure, new blood, and
restore* healthy action to the skin. The use of cosmetics never yet brought he»lth
sad beauty to a rough, red, pimply skin or sallow complexion. What is needed
is rich pure blood, such as S. S. S. makes. It not only relieves you of all disfigur
ing blackheads blotches and irritating, itching eruption*, but improve* your general
health S. S. S. contains no mercuiy, potash, arsenic or other mineral but is a
purely vegetable remedy and the safest and best in all blood and skin »^I m .
pyrite ourphysicians for advice or information; they have made a study of blood
—a .Win diseases and you can have the best medical advice without cost. Book us
■toed and 8kin Disease* free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, 6A
Aborig Ml Instinct.
When the statue of Washington
was unveiled at Paris last summer a
huppv group of American students
were waking the echoes from time to i
time with their college yell.
French woman said nervously to an- '
other, “Why do they make that
Her companion answered with calm
superiority, "My dear, its the savage
Thia *lgn*tore i* oa «vary box sf lb* (Main*
Laxative Brofno-Quinine T*bi*t*
th* r*m.dy that emrea a eaM la aae **jr
The recent laying by the Moeara-
Enlm Company of the telephone wires
through the Sumatra Jungle was a dif
Tr«v«llng With Ox Team*.
ficult and dangerous undertaking. In
A novel vacation tripi* being taken
the forests were elephants, tiger*, hogs by Banker Jenkin* and a party of
and other wild animals, and these were eleven friends, from Carrelton, Kan.
not only a source of danger to the They are traveling aero«« the state
workmen, but they frequently uproot- - of Colorado in an old style prairie
ed the telephone pole* and dislocated schooner behind relay* of oxen span*.
the wires. The natives steal wire from
the line to make and mend their trajis
The companle* are obliged to place line
watchers at Intervals of twenty miles
to watch and catch these wire wreck
ers, and also to quickly repair the line
whenever It la Injured. -Petroleum.
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
Foot ot Morrison StrMt,
Can give you
Win. mills and-
the best bargains la
Boilers and Engines,
Pumps and General
us before buying
Where do You-
Sell Your Hides?
rirr mk .
We al way* pay the Highest Price.
That the Eccentric Sprocket Wheel on this
machine will give an absolute gain of 16’3 per
cent of power at time of tieiug and discharging
The Force-feed Elevator will waste less grain
than i n»' other. There is le*s »-battering.
The Relief Rake keeps inner end of platform
Everyone of those using Champion Binder
says it has no equal.
Chas. La Mastick & Oo.
75 Front St., cor. Oak, Portland, Or.
A (lltKAT FIRE WALK.
Of 15,000. Stock of the New York Dry Goods
Co.'s goods, I'sintg d by Water o ily, is placed
on «nle al THE LEADER at one-half, and in
some cases, onr-ienth Its value.
I The stock consia’s nf almost e ery’hing in
the line of Dry • o ds and he..era! Meichan-
d sv, and being a Wholesale one w.ll continue
SEND KOR CATALOGUE.
f< r ten < ays, at least, and there there will be
plenty for everyone
Let everybody come. The opportunity of a
At THE LEADER,
The People s Bargain Store,
Flr«l and Taylor St*.
710Second ave .Seattle Wash.
Mitchell, Lewis & Stater Co.,
The Perfection of Wall Plaster, will not fall off, even
though a leakage occur by the bursting of water pipes.
Send us your address and receive circular
showing what others have gained by the use of
THE ADAMANT OO.,
Agents wanted in every town.
Foot ot 14th Street,
THE AULTMAN & TAYLOR MACHINERY CO.
Builders of High Grade
THRESHERS, CLOVER HULLERS, HORSE POWERS, TRACTION
AND FARM ENGINES AND BOILERS, SAW MILLS, ETC.
EDWARD HUGHES, General Agent.
182-186 Madison St., Portland, Oregon.
Catalogue Mailed Fret,
Chamber of Commerce,
Not Oysters Alone.
Church—Let'* *ee; what is it we
have to go without in the months
atona tha Dough anti
moria Off tha Ootd.
Laxative Bromo-Qulnlnn Tablet, cure * cold In
one day. . No cure. No Pay. Price 26 cent*.
Turning th* Table,.
"Mr*. Newbride isn't at all satisfied
with her husband'* salary.”
“No; she says it isn’t nearly *o
good as her lather used to make.”
Secures patents for Inventions
in the United States ami foreign
countries. Also negotiates mar
kets and defends patent inven
No better terms or facilities
than we offer obtainable any
where. Pavment of our fees
may be deferred till patent is
allowed. Write for pamphlet
BEST FOR THE
If you haven't a regular, healthy movement of thfl
bowel« every day, you're «lek. or will be. Keep youf
bowel« open, and be well. Force, in the «hape of
violent physic or pill poison, i« dangerous. Thfl
.mootbest. easiest, most perfect way or keepinc thfl
pc wsls clear and clean is to take
Mother* will find Mr*. Win*low’» Sooth
ing Syrup the be«t remedy to u«e lor their
children during the teething period.
W m Not Mode>L
She—It is no use; I wouldn’t
marry the handsomest man alive.
He—Well, anyhow, you will hence
forth have the satisfaction of knowing
that he has asked you.
KNOW THE VALUE OF
Pleasant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good Do Good,
NflVflr Nlckon. Weaken, or Grip«. iOe.
for free sample, and booklet on health. Address
kw^Sy rsaoeay, Cktow». ■•alrwal, lev Verb. Mfle
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
■ I BICKFORD, Washington, 0. C.* thev will re*
■ I cflive quick replies. B. fith N. H. Vols Stat
20th Corp*. Prosecuting claims since 1H7S.
Is best time to cure rat art h.
Bronchitis and Consumption.
Our remedy is guaranteed, <1.
P. O. Box »73.
W. I. SMITH 1 CO., Oilftlo. 0. T.
S m .TOr Reiolutlont
. THK 1
o^KEEP YOU DRY
in th «
rO# ABOVE TSADf WM
ON SALE EVERYWHERE
OT GAPtltNTS ANO MATS
.. RO3TONMA53 M
»nr. r*ll*f hom liquor, opium *nd tob*co*
h*bitr. 8*nd for pnrlloular* to
a. r. ■- a.
«•. * >-i**u
W asutBs thU pa*«v.