Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904 | View Entire Issue (June 7, 1901)
Million« for lt*«.ball. A million of dollars are spent everv yam upon the game of baseball, nut large as this Silin is. it cannot begin to equal < he ainoiini Spent by people in search of health. There is a sure method of obtaining strength, and it is not a costly one. We urge those who have spent much and lost hope to trv Hosteller’s Stomach Bitters. It strength ens the stomach, makes digestion easy and natural, and cures dyspepsia, constipation, biliousness and weak kidneys. HAMPION LIAR OF THE WORLD. tn American F ia» I I pan a Nt out Incor- rittib e Verbal Liar. “Do you know that the average Amer- can is a hopeless and incorrigible and mmitigated liar?" said a cynic of Bar- >nne street, in New Orleans. “I don’t mean he lies viciously, but suave uien- lacity glides off the end of his tongue is easily as molasses flows from a The Reel Thing. spigot on a warm day in summer. He First Dog—Look a bit thin, do I* loes it unconsciously, habitually, auto- So’d you, if your Toaster was a poster natlcally—just as bls lungs expand and artist, and had got you in training in Ills heart palpitates and his hair grows, a model for his new poster of a do: without any special attention from the that wasn’t fed on Fillemup’s Patent est of his system. He does it be Biscuits! •ause he can’t help it. The thing bas become a second nature. "I had all this brought home to me,” continued the amateur cynic, “by a very simple little experiment which I tried on myself and a few others no longer ago than yesterday morning. Did you ever see a pocket counting ma chine! Well, it’s a little device shaped ¡like a watch. Whenever you press the stem the needle on the dial jumps a ' point, and It registers in that way up to several thousand on the principle of a From the teacon, Leonard »town, Md. cyclometer. They are used by any body making long counts and are very Many veterans of the rebellion can < recall incidents as thriling as the cav handy, because they never forget alry charge in which the narrator of where they leave off. • the following experience nearly lost “But, to come to the point, something his life, and, unfortunately, many of happened to remind me of our national the old soldiers have disabilities that vice of untruthfulness as I was getting are unpleasant reminders of their days up yesterday, and I determined to keep in the army. To all such this story tab on myself and ascertain, if possi will have a peculiar interest and may ble, how many actual, out and out lies show the way to restore health, 1 put Into circulation in the course of strength and energy. Mr. William H. the day. I chanced to have one of the Whiting, of Mt. Holly, Va., says: little counting machines I have just “When the Civil war began I was mentioned, so I slipped it into my living in Buffalo and there I joined pocket and started out. Co. F, of the Tenth New York Caval “The first lie I told was right at the ry. In 1863, while serving with my door. Smithson was passing and stop company, I received a sabre cut that ped to shake hands. 'Hello, old man!’ caused paralysis. For eight months j said I. ’Delighted to see you,' when as I was obliged to lie in the hospital at | a matter of fact I was deuced sorry to Washington, D. C. I afterwards see him, because I owe him ten. I tried many doctors, but the paralysis gave the counter a squeeze and hur remained as bad as ever. I suffered ried on, but before I got to the office I from chills and my general health had jogged it nine times. was not good. “What did I jog it for, did you ask? “This continued until about eight years ago when I read in a newspaper I Oh. trivialities, mere trivialities, but of the cures effected by Dr. Williams’ at the same time point blank lies, every Pink Pills for Pale People. I began one of 'em. Whenever I opened my taking the pills and soon found they mouth out dropped some confounded were doing me good. In six months’ hyperbole. I told Jones the joke he time I was completely cured. The insisted in springing on me was the paralysis has not returned and I never ‘best I ever heard' and then made a have the eh ills now. My general double tally in assuring his wife she health is also better than when I be- was looking remarkably well when she fan taking Pink Pills for Pale People. was looking exactly like a scarecrow. alway keep them with me and, in I told another friend I never laughed the eight years that have passed since so much in my life as I had at some I first took them, I have never , had thing or other. 1 don't remember now what, and still another that I hadn't occassion to call on a doctor. “I have recommended Dr. Wil slept a wink for three nights when I liams’ Rink Pills to many people, and had neuralgia lately—all lies, bald lies, good results have always followed in spite of their harmlessness. their use.” “When I reached the office and looked Signed, WILLIAM H. WHITING. at the dial, I was horrified. ’Good Subscribed and Bworn to before me heavens!' I said to myself. ‘It seems to this 14th day of January, 1901. be physically Impossible for me to John L. Beale, speak the plain truth in the paltriest Seal Notary Public. matters. 1’11 just remain perfectly Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale quiet for half an hour and keep check People are sold by all dealers, or will on Boggs.’ be sent postpaid on receipt of price, "Boggs is our head-bookkeeper and 50 cents a box, or six boxes for $2.50 a pillar in one of the suburban (they are never sold by the bulk or by churches. I had supposed him to be the hundred) by addressing Dr. Wil the quintessence of cast-iron veracity, liams Medicine Company, . Schen but when I sat down in cold blood to ectady, N. Y. put liim on record I was astonished at the blase fashion with which he frl- r Arduoui Task. voled with the truth, I pushed the “I hear that you have been laid up button on him 15 times in 27 minutes; with nervous prostration. What was then he got into a whispered conversa the matter—overwork or worry?” tion with a caller, and I lost the thread “Not exactly; the fact is, I tried of bls remarks. But I am certain If to have a photograph taken that I bad been In hearing the counter ■uited my wife.” would have had hard work keeping up TOV KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING with the procession.” A VETERAN Tells of a Thriiiing Experience in the Civil War and How a Newspaper Article Saved His Life. Exit Like a Minister. Women Must Sleep. “Were you ever taken for a minis ter?” asked the soubrette. "No,” said the leading man with the spiritual face,“but I've been treat Ovoid Nervous Prostration* If you are dangerously sick what is ed like one.” the first duty of your physician ? lie "Eh?” “I have been sometimes compelled culets the nervous system, he deadens to wait six or seven months for in y the pain, and you sleep well. You ought to know that when you salary.” ceased to be regular in your courses, In the Theater. FREE TO FARMERS ADVANCE THRESHER CO Factory, Battle Creek, Michigan. grow irritable without cause, and pass site pie tu» eights, there is serious Something New In Mining. Mr. He—I saw your neighboor, Skinner, today. She—Did you? What is he doing now? He—He’s interested in one of those wild cat mining schemes. She—The idea ! I never knew von had to mine for wild cats. Our 1901 Vehicle Book Our 1901 Implement Catalogue JUST ISSUED. No Race Problem. We present above . ent of the latest end Send your name and P. O. address and we mo»l popular Traction Kuril,* Unlit. We have j net received a foil line of Advance will mail one or both, as desired, free of all Engines and Separator, of different Myles and charge. sixes, and invite our friends to call and inspect -amc or write us for descriptive eetelofV.e and circulars. “I never could make out why folks is all the time worry in’ deyse'f w’d what dey calls de ‘race problem,’ ‘ said the old colored citizen. ' I been roun’ heah sence de days I been bo’n, en neither me ner my family liiz been lynched yit!” Mitchell, Lewis & Slaver Co., First and Taylor St». Her Secret ADV'NCK THRKSHEI*. C », Xu. 214 Front st , Portimi', Or ;<m. PORTLAND, OR. MILWAUKEE MOWER Rev. Dr. Gollie—But how did you manage to interest so many in your charitable Fork? Mrs. Lureing—Well, doctor, I find that a card with “Dancing” on the lower left hand corner, seems almost as attractive as the promise of future bliss. CHAIX DRIVE. LIGHT DRAFT. EASY FOOT LIFT. Or call upon our nearest agent. BUY THE McCORMICK MOWERS The beat hope of competition is to make machines ‘ just »s good as McCormick." Fifty out of every hundred mowers sold «round the world bear the name McCormick. Kig Four. New Four. Little Four. Vertical Lift. M m . H astlxt . I Getting Rid of Him. trouble somewhere, and nervous pros tration is sure to follow. You ought to know that indigestion, exhaustion, womb displacements, fainting, dizziness, headache, and baekaehe send the nerves wild with affright, and you cannot sleep. Mrs. Hartley, of 221 W. Congress St., Chicago. Ill., whose portrait we pub lish. suffered all these agonies, and was entirely cured by Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound : her case should be a warning to others, and her cure carry conviction to the minds of every suffering woman of the un failing efficiency of LydiaE. Pinkham* Vegetable C< mpound. Her Beau—If you'll be a good boy I'll give you an Egyptian cigarette. Bobby—And may I smoke it? His sister—Yes, Bobby; and, of course, you know, gentlemen always go into the library to smoke. If you use the K. G. toning solu tion you will never be troubled with faded prints. 8 oz. bottle. 30 cents. At all photographic supply dealers, or Kirk, Geary A- Co., 330 Sutter St, S. F. Entirely Unnecessary. “These druggists make me tired with their superfluous directions. “What’s the matter, now?” “Why, this prescription I hail filled for the ague has a label on it! ‘Shake before taking.’ ” VICTOR STEEL RAKES With Steel Wheels, mad* for the •‘Wild and Woolly West." J. A. FREEMAN, General Agent, 290 K. Water St. FOKTLAND, Ore. Complete Stock of WALTER A. WOOD EXTRAS. ( all on the agent or address A. H. BOYLAN, Portland, Oregon, For Catalogue and prices. perfection of Wall riaater, 1« the only material ‘‘ADAMANT The with which repairing can be done neatly and to stay. If you have never used it send and get a trial It will pay you. For information address LAND PLASTER lot. J JI THE ADAMANT DO., Agents wanted in every town. Foot of 14th street, Portland. Oregon. S1OO REWARD S1OO. The readers of thia paper will be pleased to ■earn that there is at least one dreaded disease ihut science has been able to cure in all its ■taxes, and that lecatarrh. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is ibe only positive cure known to the medical Irateruity. Catarrh beln? a constitutional dis- 3ase, requires a constituí ional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the founda tion of the d -ease, and giving the patient strength by building tip the constitut’on and insisting nature in doing its work. The pro prietors have so much faith in its curative lowers, that they offer One Hundred Dolían for any case that it fails tocure. Send for list of testimonials. Address F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. Sold by druggists, 75c. Hall’s Fainiir Pills are the best z I LU ILL/ 11111/ IllUL D on ' t S top T obacco S uddenly It injure« neivous system to do «o. BACO- <’ITKO is the only cure that really cure« and notifies you a hen to stop. Sold with a guarantee that three boxes will cure anv case. ' ksi*ll Pill D is vegetable and harmless. It has DAuU^wUI U cured thousands, it will cure you. Ar all driutgists or by mail prepaid, II a box; 3 boxes 12.50. Booklet free. Write E vrkka cumie I. to, La Crosse, Wis. is to is re- Keeley Cure V ha I au Ina4i*ii*a Keeley institute, N. F. N. 0* Moved to 4 *0 William« Ave., Ka«t side. Cause and Effect I do not believe Piso'e Cure for Con sumption has an equal for cough* and coliia,— J ohn F Borea, Trinity Springs, Ind , Feb. 15. 1900. Hadn't Ut First Kansan—Did that cyclone damage Jed Perkins’ house enny?” Second Kansan—Dunno; it hain't lit yit. The Caller'* Inference. Your Guide and Guard "Is Mrs. Mulligatawney in?" asked Is the famous Oregon Blood Purifier, Thia signature ia on every box of the genuine the caller, presenting her card to the tested and true. Use it now. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablet, Joormald. “No, ma'am.” the reme-J.T that oir*. * cold In one d«j A Roast “When will she be In?” "I wonder why they are called rare | Root'i Law Studies Delayed. “I can't tell, ma’am.” Elihu Root, secretary of war, made "She told you not to, I suppose.”— prints?” ’’Because they’re not well done.” up his mind when he was 10 years old Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. to be a lawyer, but combination of Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth- circumstances made it impossible for It has been said that brilliant and Ing Syrup the best remedy to use tor their him to take up the study of the law impulsive peojffe usually have black children during ths teething period. until he was over 21 years of age. eyes—or if they don’t have them they On« Indian Trib* Increasing. , are apt to get them if they are too im- The Penobscot tribe of Indians, i pulsive. which numbered 240 in lWK), is now It's difficult to convince the taxpayer about 400 strong Maine appro who foots the bills of Congress that priates annually $8,000 for their r ' CON SUMPTION i talk is cheap. benefit. jA jA No. ‘4 3—1901. il KN writing: tfe advartiaora ploaie mention this paper* W Portland, Oregon. CASH BUYERS OF HIDES, PELTS AND TALLOW. Consignments solicited. Pay highest market price. PROMPT RETURNS. Dealers in Leather and Findings. Refer to Wells. Fargo & Co. Bank, Portland, Oregon. "I couldn’t find anything at that cheap book counter Jones was brag ging about.” “Well, recollect he had been there. ” We have just issued an excellent little Cat alogue on Fence subjects. Full illustrations; all the newest Fence information. A postal card will bring it to you. Sure relief from liquor, opium and tobacco habits. Send for particulars to Chas. L. Mastick & Co. Chill* and Fever la a bottle of Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic. It is «Imply Iron and quinine In a tasteless form. No Cure. No Pay. Price 50c What Does It Cost? Springtime Resolutions thkkk Unappreciative. Mrs. Flatbush—Mrs. Daubchina so artistic! Whenever she refers art it is with a big A. Flatbush—Well, her husband different from her. He generally fers to art with a big D. < "yr V' I Time. “How do you pass the time?” in When volt take Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic, quired the city visitor of the friend because the formula is plainly printed on every Paying and Giving. bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui who had moved to the country. nine In a tasteless lorm. No Cure, Ne Pay. 50c. [ There is an Interesting story associ “I don’t pass it,” replied the lady ated with the great Cardinal Borromeo. who could always find something to Three-Fourths of a Jury. who was noted for his charities to the do; “it passes me.” The Massachusetts senate favors a poor. Cardinal Giulio had shown to constitutional amendment to permit him the vast palace which he had just three fourths of a jury to render a finished. When he was departing. Bor- QREGONßLOODPURIflER verdict in civil cases. . romeo, who had been silent while in the building, said: “Your CITQ Permanently Cured. No file or nervousnem specting Liver. ■ Ilf* after fir.l il.v'w li.eof l>r Kline'eGreat Nerve Raator.-r Send tor Fit EE 94.00 trial bottle and treat eminence, I have been reflecting that “Usually,” said the Cheerful Idiot, I m Da.R.11 K link . Ltd..V3I ArcliSt.. Philadelrbia.Pa. j the huge sums spent on this palace breaking the conversation, “the man I might have been given to the poor.” Notwithstanding. that is a good liver hasn’t.” “Your eminence,” replied Giulio, “And when lie proposed did you “they have liwn all given to the poor; TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAT tell him to see me?” inquired her but our notions of charity differ. I Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All mother. iruggists refund the money if it fail« to cure. pay the poor for their labor, and your R. w. Grove ’s signature is on each box. 25c. “I did, and he said he had seen you eminence for their idleness." •everal times, but that he loved me Skeptics. The reply, uttered more than four notwithstanding. ” hundred years ago. is now the rule of Some skeptics are like the near ( Intelligent philanthropists, who would sighted man who skates right up to , Stope the Dough and Worka OH the Cold. help the poor to help themselves, and the danger sign to see what it says. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold In restrnln them from becoming paupers. on* day. No cure, No Pay. Price 26 cent*. The Best Prescription for Malaria —Youth’s Companion. “Dear me, I can’t hear a word that The Apron of an EmprrM. those actors are saying. ” The German Empress is not at all "You have no cause for complaint. ” extravagant In the matter of dress, but she possesses a wonderful selection of The fascination of flashlight photo aprons. When, not many months ago, graphy is greatly enhanced by one of a committee of ladies presented her the new electric flash lamps. Costs 11 .50. At all dealers, or Kirk, Geary with a white satin one, with the names of her five sons embroidered In gold, A C., 330 Sutter St., 8. F„ Cal. the Empress graciously thanked the Not at Prewnt. donors, explaining. “My busband likes “Have you any sodding you want me to wear an apron; he says It looks done this spring?” asked a colored nice and homely.” The young princes man of a mean Central Avenue resi were delighted with this gift, for, as dent. “Not at present. My mother- one of them remarked. "Mother cannot well forget us when she carries our in-law's health is first class.” names on her apron.” ¡Machinery, Implements, — Farm Supplies, Etc $ æ % Portland Anchor Fence Co 742 Nicolai St., Portland, Or DEATH begins in the bowels. It’s the unclean places that breed infectious epidemics, and it’s the unclean body—unclean in side—that “catches” the disease. A person whose stomach and bowels are kept clean and whose liver is live ly, and blood pure, is safe against yel low fever, or any other of the dread ful diseases that desolate our beautiful land. Some of the cleanest people outside are filthiest inside, and they are the ones who not only “catch” the infections, but endanger the lives of all their friends and relatives. There’s only one certain way of keeping clean inside so as to prevent disease and that is to take CA d CARETS. Perfect disinfectant and bowel strengtheners. All diseases are