Million« for lt*«.ball.
A million of dollars are spent everv yam
upon the game of baseball, nut large as this
Silin is. it cannot begin to equal < he ainoiini
Spent by people in search of health. There
is a sure method of obtaining strength,
and it is not a costly one. We urge those
who have spent much and lost hope to trv
Hosteller’s Stomach Bitters. It strength
ens the stomach, makes digestion easy and
natural, and cures dyspepsia, constipation,
biliousness and weak kidneys.
HAMPION LIAR OF THE WORLD.
tn American F ia» I I pan a Nt out Incor-
rittib e Verbal Liar.
“Do you know that the average Amer-
can is a hopeless and incorrigible and
mmitigated liar?" said a cynic of Bar-
>nne street, in New Orleans. “I don’t
mean he lies viciously, but suave uien-
lacity glides off the end of his tongue
is easily as molasses flows from a
The Reel Thing.
spigot on a warm day in summer. He
First Dog—Look a bit thin, do I* loes it unconsciously, habitually, auto-
So’d you, if your Toaster was a poster natlcally—just as bls lungs expand and
artist, and had got you in training in Ills heart palpitates and his hair grows,
a model for his new poster of a do: without any special attention from the
that wasn’t fed on Fillemup’s Patent est of his system. He does it be
Biscuits!
•ause he can’t help it. The thing bas
become a second nature.
"I had all this brought home to me,”
continued the amateur cynic, “by a
very simple little experiment which I
tried on myself and a few others no
longer ago than yesterday morning.
Did you ever see a pocket counting ma
chine! Well, it’s a little device shaped
¡like a watch. Whenever you press the
stem the needle on the dial jumps a
' point, and It registers in that way up to
several thousand on the principle of a
From the teacon, Leonard »town, Md.
cyclometer. They are used by any
body making long counts and are very
Many veterans of the rebellion can
<
recall incidents as thriling as the cav handy, because they never forget
alry charge in which the narrator of where they leave off. •
the following experience nearly lost
“But, to come to the point, something
his life, and, unfortunately, many of happened to remind me of our national
the old soldiers have disabilities that vice of untruthfulness as I was getting
are unpleasant reminders of their days up yesterday, and I determined to keep
in the army. To all such this story tab on myself and ascertain, if possi
will have a peculiar interest and may ble, how many actual, out and out lies
show the way to restore health, 1 put Into circulation in the course of
strength and energy. Mr. William H. the day. I chanced to have one of the
Whiting, of Mt. Holly, Va., says:
little counting machines I have just
“When the Civil war began I was mentioned, so I slipped it into my
living in Buffalo and there I joined pocket and started out.
Co. F, of the Tenth New York Caval
“The first lie I told was right at the
ry. In 1863, while serving with my door. Smithson was passing and stop
company, I received a sabre cut that ped to shake hands. 'Hello, old man!’
caused paralysis. For eight months j said I. ’Delighted to see you,' when as
I was obliged to lie in the hospital at | a matter of fact I was deuced sorry to
Washington, D. C.
I afterwards
see him, because I owe him ten. I
tried many doctors, but the paralysis
gave the counter a squeeze and hur
remained as bad as ever.
I suffered
ried on, but before I got to the office I
from chills and my general health
had jogged it nine times.
was not good.
“What did I jog it for, did you ask?
“This continued until about eight
years ago when I read in a newspaper I Oh. trivialities, mere trivialities, but
of the cures effected by Dr. Williams’ at the same time point blank lies, every
Pink Pills for Pale People. I began one of 'em. Whenever I opened my
taking the pills and soon found they mouth out dropped some confounded
were doing me good. In six months’ hyperbole. I told Jones the joke he
time I was completely cured.
The insisted in springing on me was the
paralysis has not returned and I never ‘best I ever heard' and then made a
have the eh ills now.
My general double tally in assuring his wife she
health is also better than when I be- was looking remarkably well when she
fan taking Pink Pills for Pale People. was looking exactly like a scarecrow.
alway keep them with me and, in I told another friend I never laughed
the eight years that have passed since so much in my life as I had at some
I first took them, I have never , had thing or other. 1 don't remember now
what, and still another that I hadn't
occassion to call on a doctor.
“I have recommended Dr. Wil slept a wink for three nights when I
liams’ Rink Pills to many people, and had neuralgia lately—all lies, bald lies,
good results have always followed in spite of their harmlessness.
their use.”
“When I reached the office and looked
Signed, WILLIAM H. WHITING. at the dial, I was horrified. ’Good
Subscribed and Bworn to before me heavens!' I said to myself. ‘It seems to
this 14th day of January, 1901.
be physically Impossible for me to
John L. Beale,
speak the plain truth in the paltriest
Seal
Notary Public.
matters. 1’11 just remain perfectly
Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale quiet for half an hour and keep check
People are sold by all dealers, or will on Boggs.’
be sent postpaid on receipt of price,
"Boggs is our head-bookkeeper and
50 cents a box, or six boxes for $2.50 a pillar in one of the suburban
(they are never sold by the bulk or by churches. I had supposed him to be
the hundred) by addressing Dr. Wil the quintessence of cast-iron veracity,
liams Medicine Company, . Schen but when I sat down in cold blood to
ectady, N. Y.
put liim on record I was astonished at
the blase fashion with which he frl-
r
Arduoui Task.
voled with the truth, I pushed the
“I hear that you have been laid up
button on him 15 times in 27 minutes;
with nervous prostration. What was
then he got into a whispered conversa
the matter—overwork or worry?”
tion with a caller, and I lost the thread
“Not exactly; the fact is, I tried
of
bls remarks. But I am certain If
to have a photograph taken that
I bad been In hearing the counter
■uited my wife.”
would have had hard work keeping up
TOV KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING with the procession.”
A VETERAN
Tells of a Thriiiing Experience
in the Civil War and How
a Newspaper Article
Saved His Life.
Exit Like a Minister.
Women Must
Sleep.
“Were you ever taken for a minis
ter?” asked the soubrette.
"No,” said the leading man with
the spiritual face,“but I've been treat Ovoid Nervous Prostration*
If you are dangerously sick what is
ed like one.”
the first duty of your physician ? lie
"Eh?”
“I have been sometimes compelled culets the nervous system, he deadens
to wait six or seven months for in y the pain, and you sleep well.
You ought to know that when you
salary.”
ceased to be regular in your courses,
In the Theater.
FREE TO FARMERS ADVANCE THRESHER CO
Factory, Battle Creek, Michigan.
grow irritable without cause, and
pass site pie tu» eights, there is serious
Something New In Mining.
Mr.
He—I saw your neighboor,
Skinner, today.
She—Did you? What is he doing
now?
He—He’s interested in one of those
wild cat mining schemes.
She—The idea ! I never knew von
had to mine for wild cats.
Our 1901 Vehicle Book
Our 1901 Implement Catalogue
JUST ISSUED.
No Race Problem.
We present above . ent of the latest end
Send your name and P. O. address and we mo»l popular Traction Kuril,* Unlit.
We have j net received a foil line of Advance
will mail one or both, as desired, free of all Engines and Separator, of different Myles and
charge.
sixes, and invite our friends to call and inspect
-amc or write us for descriptive eetelofV.e and
circulars.
“I never could make out why folks
is all the time worry in’ deyse'f w’d
what dey calls de ‘race problem,’ ‘
said the old colored citizen. ' I been
roun’ heah sence de days I been bo’n,
en neither me ner my family liiz been
lynched yit!”
Mitchell, Lewis & Slaver Co.,
First and Taylor St».
Her Secret
ADV'NCK THRKSHEI*. C »,
Xu. 214 Front st , Portimi', Or ;<m.
PORTLAND, OR.
MILWAUKEE MOWER
Rev. Dr. Gollie—But how did you
manage to interest so many in your
charitable Fork?
Mrs. Lureing—Well, doctor, I find
that a card with “Dancing” on the
lower left hand corner, seems almost
as attractive as the promise of future
bliss.
CHAIX DRIVE.
LIGHT DRAFT.
EASY FOOT LIFT.
Or call upon our nearest agent.
BUY THE McCORMICK MOWERS
The beat hope of competition is to make
machines ‘ just »s good as McCormick."
Fifty out of every hundred mowers sold «round
the world bear the name McCormick.
Kig Four.
New Four.
Little Four.
Vertical Lift.
M m . H astlxt .
I
Getting Rid of Him.
trouble somewhere, and nervous pros
tration is sure to follow.
You ought to know that indigestion,
exhaustion, womb displacements,
fainting, dizziness, headache, and
baekaehe send the nerves wild with
affright, and you cannot sleep.
Mrs. Hartley, of 221 W. Congress St.,
Chicago. Ill., whose portrait we pub
lish. suffered all these agonies, and
was entirely cured by Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound : her case
should be a warning to others, and
her cure carry conviction to the minds
of every suffering woman of the un
failing efficiency of LydiaE. Pinkham*
Vegetable C< mpound.
Her Beau—If you'll be a good boy
I'll give you an Egyptian cigarette.
Bobby—And may I smoke it?
His sister—Yes, Bobby; and, of
course, you know, gentlemen always
go into the library to smoke.
If you use the K. G. toning solu
tion you will never be troubled with
faded prints. 8 oz. bottle. 30 cents.
At all photographic supply dealers, or
Kirk, Geary A- Co., 330 Sutter St, S. F.
Entirely Unnecessary.
“These druggists make me tired
with their superfluous directions.
“What’s the matter, now?”
“Why, this prescription I hail
filled for the ague has a label on it!
‘Shake before taking.’ ”
VICTOR STEEL RAKES
With Steel Wheels, mad* for the
•‘Wild and Woolly West."
J. A. FREEMAN, General Agent,
290 K. Water St.
FOKTLAND, Ore.
Complete Stock of
WALTER A. WOOD EXTRAS.
( all on the agent or address
A. H. BOYLAN, Portland, Oregon,
For Catalogue and prices.
perfection of Wall riaater, 1« the only material
‘‘ADAMANT The
with which repairing can be done neatly and to stay.
If you have never used it send and get a trial
It will pay you. For information address
LAND PLASTER lot.
J JI
THE ADAMANT DO.,
Agents wanted in every town.
Foot of 14th street,
Portland. Oregon.
S1OO REWARD S1OO.
The readers of thia paper will be pleased to
■earn that there is at least one dreaded disease
ihut science has been able to cure in all its
■taxes, and that lecatarrh. Hall’s Catarrh Cure
is ibe only positive cure known to the medical
Irateruity. Catarrh beln? a constitutional dis-
3ase, requires a constituí ional treatment.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces
of the system, thereby destroying the founda
tion of the d -ease, and giving the patient
strength by building tip the constitut’on and
insisting nature in doing its work. The pro
prietors have so much faith in its curative
lowers, that they offer One Hundred Dolían
for any case that it fails tocure. Send for list
of testimonials. Address
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Hall’s Fainiir Pills are the best
z
I LU ILL/ 11111/ IllUL
D on ' t S top T obacco S uddenly
It injure« neivous system to do «o. BACO-
<’ITKO is the only cure that really cure«
and notifies you a hen to stop. Sold with a
guarantee that three boxes will cure anv case.
' ksi*ll Pill D is vegetable and harmless. It has
DAuU^wUI U cured thousands, it will cure you.
Ar all driutgists or by mail prepaid, II a box;
3 boxes 12.50. Booklet free. Write E vrkka
cumie I. to, La Crosse, Wis.
is
to
is
re-
Keeley Cure
V ha I au Ina4i*ii*a
Keeley institute,
N. F. N. 0*
Moved to 4 *0 William«
Ave., Ka«t side.
Cause and Effect
I do not believe Piso'e Cure for Con
sumption has an equal for cough* and
coliia,— J ohn F Borea, Trinity Springs,
Ind , Feb. 15. 1900.
Hadn't Ut
First Kansan—Did that cyclone
damage Jed Perkins’ house enny?”
Second Kansan—Dunno; it hain't
lit yit.
The Caller'* Inference.
Your Guide and Guard
"Is Mrs. Mulligatawney in?" asked
Is the famous Oregon Blood Purifier,
Thia signature ia on every box of the genuine the caller, presenting her card to the tested and true. Use it now.
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablet, Joormald.
“No, ma'am.”
the reme-J.T that oir*. * cold In one d«j
A Roast
“When will she be In?”
"I wonder why they are called rare |
Root'i Law Studies Delayed.
“I can't tell, ma’am.”
Elihu Root, secretary of war, made "She told you not to, I suppose.”— prints?”
’’Because they’re not well done.”
up his mind when he was 10 years old Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
to be a lawyer, but combination of
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth-
circumstances made it impossible for
It has been said that brilliant and Ing Syrup the best remedy to use tor their
him to take up the study of the law impulsive peojffe usually have black children during ths teething period.
until he was over 21 years of age.
eyes—or if they don’t have them they
On« Indian Trib* Increasing.
, are apt to get them if they are too im-
The Penobscot tribe of Indians,
i pulsive.
which numbered 240 in lWK), is now
It's difficult to convince the taxpayer about 400 strong
Maine appro
who foots the bills of Congress that priates annually $8,000 for their
r '
CON SUMPTION
i talk is cheap.
benefit.
jA
jA
No. ‘4 3—1901.
il KN writing: tfe advartiaora ploaie
mention this paper*
W
Portland, Oregon.
CASH BUYERS OF HIDES, PELTS AND TALLOW.
Consignments solicited. Pay highest market price. PROMPT RETURNS.
Dealers in Leather and Findings.
Refer to Wells. Fargo & Co. Bank, Portland, Oregon.
"I couldn’t find anything at that
cheap book counter Jones was brag
ging about.”
“Well, recollect he had been there. ”
We have just issued an excellent little Cat
alogue on Fence subjects. Full illustrations;
all the newest Fence information.
A postal
card will bring it to you.
Sure relief from liquor, opium and tobacco
habits. Send for particulars to
Chas. L. Mastick & Co.
Chill* and Fever la a bottle of Grove’s Tasteless
Chill Tonic. It is «Imply Iron and quinine In
a tasteless form. No Cure. No Pay. Price 50c
What Does It Cost?
Springtime Resolutions
thkkk
Unappreciative.
Mrs. Flatbush—Mrs. Daubchina
so artistic! Whenever she refers
art it is with a big A.
Flatbush—Well, her husband
different from her. He generally
fers to art with a big D.
< "yr V'
I
Time.
“How do you pass the time?” in
When volt take Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic,
quired the city visitor of the friend
because the formula is plainly printed on every
Paying and Giving.
bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui
who had moved to the country.
nine In a tasteless lorm. No Cure, Ne Pay. 50c. [ There is an Interesting story associ
“I don’t pass it,” replied the lady
ated with the great Cardinal Borromeo. who could always find something to
Three-Fourths of a Jury.
who was noted for his charities to the do; “it passes me.”
The Massachusetts senate favors a poor. Cardinal Giulio had shown to
constitutional amendment to permit him the vast palace which he had just
three fourths of a jury to render a finished. When he was departing. Bor-
QREGONßLOODPURIflER
verdict in civil cases.
. romeo, who had been silent while in
the building, said: “Your
CITQ Permanently Cured. No file or nervousnem specting
Liver.
■ Ilf* after fir.l il.v'w li.eof l>r Kline'eGreat Nerve
Raator.-r Send tor Fit EE 94.00 trial bottle and treat eminence, I have been reflecting that
“Usually,” said the Cheerful Idiot,
I m Da.R.11 K link . Ltd..V3I ArcliSt.. Philadelrbia.Pa. j the huge sums spent on this palace
breaking the conversation, “the man
I might have been given to the poor.”
Notwithstanding.
that is a good liver hasn’t.”
“Your eminence,” replied Giulio,
“And when lie proposed did you “they have liwn all given to the poor;
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAT
tell him to see me?” inquired her but our notions of charity differ. I Take
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
mother.
iruggists
refund the money if it fail« to cure.
pay the poor for their labor, and your R. w. Grove
’s signature is on each box. 25c.
“I did, and he said he had seen you
eminence for their idleness."
•everal times, but that he loved me
Skeptics.
The reply, uttered more than four
notwithstanding. ”
hundred years ago. is now the rule of
Some skeptics are like the near (
Intelligent philanthropists, who would sighted man who skates right up to ,
Stope the Dough and
Worka OH the Cold.
help the poor to help themselves, and the danger sign to see what it says.
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold In
restrnln them from becoming paupers.
on* day. No cure, No Pay. Price 26 cent*.
The Best Prescription for Malaria
—Youth’s Companion.
“Dear me, I can’t hear a word that
The Apron of an EmprrM.
those actors are saying. ”
The German Empress is not at all
"You have no cause for complaint. ” extravagant In the matter of dress, but
she possesses a wonderful selection of
The fascination of flashlight photo
aprons. When, not many months ago,
graphy is greatly enhanced by one of
a committee of ladies presented her
the new electric flash lamps.
Costs
11 .50. At all dealers, or Kirk, Geary with a white satin one, with the names
of her five sons embroidered In gold,
A C., 330 Sutter St., 8. F„ Cal.
the Empress graciously thanked the
Not at Prewnt.
donors, explaining. “My busband likes
“Have you any sodding you want me to wear an apron; he says It looks
done this spring?” asked a colored nice and homely.” The young princes
man of a mean Central Avenue resi were delighted with this gift, for, as
dent. “Not at present. My mother- one of them remarked. "Mother cannot
well forget us when she carries our
in-law's health is first class.”
names on her apron.”
¡Machinery, Implements,
—
Farm Supplies, Etc
$
æ
%
Portland Anchor Fence Co
742 Nicolai St., Portland, Or
DEATH
begins in the bowels. It’s the unclean
places that breed infectious epidemics,
and it’s the unclean body—unclean in
side—that “catches” the disease. A
person whose stomach and bowels
are kept clean and whose liver is live
ly, and blood pure, is safe against yel
low fever, or any other of the dread
ful diseases that desolate our beautiful
land. Some of the cleanest people
outside are filthiest inside, and they
are the ones who not only “catch”
the infections, but endanger the lives
of all their friends and relatives. There’s only one certain way of keeping
clean inside so as to prevent disease and that is to take CA d CARETS.
Perfect disinfectant and bowel strengtheners. All diseases are