The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, March 12, 1908, Image 3

Historic Oregon Newspapers

The Hood River glacier., March 12, 1908, Page Three, Image 3

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Newspaper Page Text1 flOODIRlVEH OLAOlEft fHURflDAY, MARCH 12,1908. ThilO BQVS ER FLOW Famous Philosopher Disappears After Solving Birds' Secret MRS. BOWSER DISTRACTED. h. Adv.rtitas For N.ws of Lost Hue band. Who Thought Ho Could Fly. Hm Any Ono 8oon Bowoor Bird In Iho Skyt Copyright, 1907, by Homer Bprafue.J One eveulng some daya since ilr. Bowoer shut himself up In the library (or an hour under the excuse that be had some Important business letters to write. The next day, when I was over hauling the room, I found that he bad passed his time making drawings of wings and reading a magazine article entitled "Why Can't Human Beluga Flyr The next ereulng, as we sat on' the front steps to get the ereulng air, I no ticed him carefully watching the swal lows and bats, and after a time he queried: "Mrs. Bowser, have you given the subject of flying machines any thoughtr . "Not a great many thoughts," I at wered. "But you must be awure that at the present moment thousands of Individ' uals are giving the matter their earnest consideration. Time and money are being lavished to solve the puzzle, and "IX A WKIK TOTJ WIIiTj BID MB) IjISAVTNG THB HOUSI FOB TUB OFFICE ON WINOH, the newspapers are full of what bene fits may be expected when flying ma- chines are as common as birds. "Yes, I have read a good deal about them, but bow con the problem ever be solved? How can you expect a big and awkward machine to .fly against the wind? How can you provide against audden gusts and squalls? At any moment some part of the machine may get out of order, and what's going to happen then? A flying machine may be made to sail around a bit on a per fectly calm day, but of what utility would It ber Mr. Bowser looked at me In admira tion for a moment and then exclaimed: "By thunder, woman, you have got a head on youl Ton have stated the case Just as I have. The flying ma chine Is an Impossibility. It will never go beyond the toy stage. Tell me, then, what must follow?" "They will have to give It up." "They will give up the machine, but turn to something else. Man now travels under the sea, and he will nev er be satisfied until he travels through the air. If he can't do It one way, be will another, ne not only wants the novelty, but the convenience of It. For Instance, It Is two miles from here to my office. I have to transfer. I am detained by street car blocks and ac- cldents. I have to Jam In with tho crowd. I may be on time or I may be half an hour late, t have my feet step ped on, my pocket picked and the con ductor works lead nickels off on me. RnnnoBe that Instead of all this I could go up on the roof of this house and launch myself Into the air and be at the office In three or four minutes r- "It will never be possible." "Too may witness It within a week," tiA ronlled with a laugh. "Mrs. Bow- up; mnaxepr me this. How does a bird "By using Its wings, of course. "But what about the wings r "Thev are so constructed by nature na to sustain the bird In the air, the bones being hollow." "Ah-ha! Now we are coming down to business. It's all to the wings ln ral of the bird. The ostrich has wing, but cannot fly nt all. The swal low has wings and can fly all day. The wing bones of the hen are nearly full f marrow, and she cannot fly ten rods. n. win hones of the dove are entirely hollow, and she can fly a hundred miles. What deductions do yon draw?" "Whv. If man is going to navigate the air he must flo It with wings." ncxaetlv." "And the wings must be made after h. nattAi-n of the bird that flies the mi1m and the farthest" Mr Bowser stenned Into the vestt bule out of sight of the people on the mtreot and beckoned to toe. nen waa beside him he put his mouth close to rtiT ear and whispered: "Vnn'vo struck It. Mrs. Bowserl Tour head Is level!" "And what are you going to dor asked. "Do? Do? Why I'm going to make $10,000,000 In the next ten years ana a reputation that will last as many rears. I thought this thing all out days ago, but I wanted to ee If you would corroborate me. If we want h tf'w must go back to first principle! and take the birds for our pattern. Birds don't fly with their bodies, but with their wings. Tut tiwjsJrffht sort of wings on a man and he flies. You flyI fly-everybody flies. By thun der! By thunder!" "But those wings have got to be Invented," I protested, a bit startled by his earnestness. "Easy as rolling off a log Just matter of three days' practice, Mm Bowser. Tou will see me leaving this house for the office on wings with In a week. You will see me Bailing oyer houses andtrees and J&9 rlTet like an albafroas. "You "will see" the atreeU full of people looking up at ma and shouting the name of Bowser. A thousand reporters will be tramping through the house and looking Into the closets and under the beds and up the chimneys and asking you whether the mole was on your grandmother's chin or cheek. The fame of It! And the millions and millions of dollarsPr I have seen Mr. Bowser enthusiastic, but I never saw htm so far gone be fore. Almost any second I expected to see him spread bis wings and fly away. I started out to discourage blm, but I made a failure of It Boys might throw atones and men might bring out their shotguns, but be had way of dodging them, ne knew Just how those wings ought to be made and Just how they should be worked, and he sat down on all my arguments and flattened them out I got bun to fly to bed at last, but It was a long and sorrowful night for me. When he slept It was to work his legs aa If flying, and when be was awake It waa to tell me how many eagles and wild geese he would over haul and bring to market Just before daylight I fell Into a sound sleep, and when I awoke he was gone. I ques tioned the hired girl about him, and she replied: "He came down here, flapping his arms, an hour ago and was In such a harry to get off that he would only wait for a cup of coffee. As near aa I could make him out he expects to be come a bird. Begging your pardon, ma'am, but a line, - fat baldheaded bird will he make. Will he be called the Bowser bird?" I was on my dignity and didn't an swer, but ns the forenoon a ragged away I became very anxious.- I fig ured that he hnd gone to some machine shop to get his wings made, and could not tell at what moment be might come flying home and drop with a plump on the doorstep or be brought to the gate In an ambulance. At mid' afternoon I gave a boy a quarter to circle around and soo if he could see a large bird sailing to and fro In the air. No bird. Then I gave another boy 10 cents to walk about and Inquire If any one bad been hurt or killed. No news. Night enme on and no Mr. Bowser. "When a man gots to thinking he's a bird what euu you do with him?' asked the girl as I sat down to my dinner. Nine 10 11 12. No Mr. Bowser. He had probably started for Boston or Philadelphia ou whig. I awoke next morning to go up on tho roof of the house, but there was no clew. Mr. Bowser Is sure to leave tracks wherever Jie goes, but he had left none on the roof. At noon that day I had the police send out a general alarm. The officer who came to the house to get the par ticulars said that Mr. Bowser and his wings might be hanging to the tele graph wires out In the country, or have been caught In some treetop and that the police would do their best to let mo know whether I was a widow or not. The afternoon and the night passed, and still no news. It Is now three days and nights since Mr. Bowser flew away and yet the mystery Is unsolved. Ills wings have either carried him upward be yond the ken of man or they have fail ed him and his body Is lying In. some thistle patch and awaiting discovery. Any news from him, dead or alive, will be thankfully appreciated and a liberal reward paid by ' . MRS. SARAH BOWSER, Wife of the Only Bowser. Per M. Quad. 1 COLD, WINDY, WEATHER Causes Pough Skin of Face and Hands. Lemon and Witch Hazel Cream ?. f. fouts, prop. THB PE FECT EMOLLIENT Corrects this, and makes the skin soft and velvety. Ladies can wear gloves immediatelo after using. Invaluable as an application after shaving. Sold in Hood River for 14 years. 25c the Bottle Hotel Waucoma Moderate Rates Excellent Service A FIRST-CLASS HOUSE Farmer's Dinner 25c Hood River, Or THOS. CALKINS WALTER I SEN BE RQ . Esson &"Cu Graduate Pharmacists Phone 1001 ;7 Twrf Sucotssors to HALL & ESSON jJ..aEU m case of record. There is no case on re'i-ord of a rough or cold remlting in ptienmoii a or con-Mimpti-ii Mfter Foley' Honey and Tar In b-en tike.i,it wi'lstop vourcouwh and h up vuuroiild quickly. Refuse hiiv but Hie Kenniue Foley' I ln-y and Tar In a yellow pitckage. Contains no Hates and is fafo ami sure, Uark'f Drug Store. Margaret's Alphabet. Little Margaret was having diffi culty with the alphabet, which was be ing taught her In the good old way. The letter n was a desperate pitfall. II she could not remember, so her mother said, "See, Margaret, it looks like a gate." That was an inspiration. Now Margaret Is In clover. She never forgets, but this Is what sho says: A, b, c, d. e, f, g, gate, L etc. Her mother sees still harder work ahead In making the little maid forget. Wash ington Star. Do Not Crowd the Season, - The first warm day of spring bring with them a desire to get out and enjoy the exhilirating air and Bunehine. Children that have been housed up all winter are brought out and you wonder where they all came from. I lie heavy winter clothing is thrown aside and rnnnv idled their flannels. Then a cold ave comes and people say that grip is ei'hleiiilu. IKiias ai mis Beasou are even more dangerous man in mia-winier, an there 1- much tnore danger of pneu moniit. Take Chamberlain's- 'Cbtiah Itemedv. however, and you will have nothing to fear. It alwavs cures, and we have never known a com to result in imeumonia when it was used. It is leaeani ana sare w iukb. uimureu like it. For sale by Keir & Cues. Revert Action. The Elder Matron Vou shouldn') mind the baby crying a little.. It strengthens his lungs. The Younger Matron Oh, no doubt, but It weakens his father's religion sol Indianapolis Journal. If yon would not have affliction visit von twice, listen at once to whit It teaches. Rogers. ? f ' . ; ' Cures Old Sores. Westmoreland, Kans.. May 5,1902 Rallard Snow Liniment Co.: Your 8now Liniment cured an old sore on the side of my ehin that was supposed to be a cancer, l tie tore was siuooorn ana would not vield to treatment until I tried Snow Liniment, uhleh did the work in short order. Mv sister. Mrs, Soohla J. Carson, Allenaville, Miffln Co., I'., has a fore and mistrusts that it in a cancer. Please end her a 60c hot tie. Sold by Chas. N. Clarke. Mere Density. lie I see that a scientist claims that a man's brain weighs 10 per cent more than a woman's. Bhe No doubt the excess Is all solid matter. Cleveland Plain Dealer. JACKSON & JACKSON, General Merchandise Groceries; Flour and Feed and Lumbermen's Supplies, -W iMi..rv. IIoiw'Hmum' MOOI IHYKll. OK. Dealer in Fancy "n,'K"'TH.'DALLra NURSERIES li. li. U r liKH, IV.f. THE DAL LS, OREGON., ItKTAIL (IKOWKK AND D BALKS IN LISTES and remember the next time that yon uffer from pain caused by damp weather when vonr head nerrly bursts from neuralgia try Ballard a Know lini ment. It will cure you. A prominent bnsitets man of Hempstead, lexns, wri es: "I have' used yemr liniment. Previous to wxua it I was r un-at sutler r from rleumati-m and neuralgia. in id 'tisml to tav that now I am free roiii these complaints. I am cure 1 we tin to your linuneni." ooiu uy t'has. N. Clarke. . Out of His Line. Mrs. Muslque Are you fond ol Brahms, Mr. FUsteen? Mr. Flisteen- No, ma'am; I can't say that I am. These fancy dishes always give ma Indigestion, no matter how well cooked they are. Cleveland Leader. Chamberlain's Cmigh Itemed? Is Ruth . Agreeable and Mtecwe. CliHiiilerlain'iiCoiiih Keuiedy has no upeiior for coughf, colds and croup, an I the fact that it is pleasant to take and e ntiling nothing in any way in- uilus has made it a favorite with mothers. . Mr. W. 8. Pelham, a mer chant ( Kiikaville, Iowa, taya: -'For more than 0 years Chamberlain's Couah Itemedy has been my leadiug remedy' lor all throat troubles, n l especially Micoessful in cases of croup. Children like it and my customers who Ituvu UMd it will not take any other," For sale by Keir '& Cass. ' Cruel Man. The Groom The minister seems to think he knows more about you than do. The Bride How's that? The Groom I gave him a ton, and he handed back five of lt-t-Town Topics. titUIT, SHADE AND ORNAMENTAL Eveeeni, GRAPE VINES SMALL FRUITS Rose and 5hrubbey. TREES Remember, Our Trees are Grown Strictly Without Irrigation. C. P. R. Next bor to McOuire Brothers, '' Clothes Cleaned, Pressed and Repaired All work done with Electric " I rou and guaranteed '' "' Neglected Cold. Every part of the mucous mem brane, the nose, throat, ears, head and limns, eti'., are subjected to disease and blight (mill neglected colds. Ballard's Horelioi il l syrup ! pieasani smi ei- fective jemed . XV. Akcndriek, Valley Mills, Texas, writes: "1 have Used ISallarii 8 lloie- hotind Svruo for concha and throat lotililes: It la a uleRMiol and nioi-t . j. .... . . fct leelue remet v. poMI OV liias. rs. (hnke. 'A Double Inheritance. Mr. Cross That baby over across the vrav seems to Inherit its voice from both Its parents. Mrs. Cross How sot Mr. Cross It mnkes a great deal of noise, like Its father, -and keeps It op, like Its mother.-Detrolt Free fress. ..MILLER'S DRUG STORE.. Has jiirifc received a shipment of American and Im ported Perfumes, Lundberg's, Rieger's, lloger & Gal lett's in bulk and presentation boxes. The Finest Imported Soaps for the Toilet Toilet Sets, Faney Papetrie, and many other ar ticles suitable for Prsentk; ... ' On the Heights, 1 n: : Hood River, Ore. Why Go Down the Hill? Riverside Dairy We can supply you with any quautity of Fresh Milk PRICES ON APPLICATION Free Delivery. Phono 41 GOULD & SNYDER PLUMBING Steamjand Hot Water Heating All jobbing promptly attended to. Our ClosingOut Sale Has progressed beyond our expectations, all on ac count of having the goods and giving the prices that attract. The Iron Bed stock is still quite complete: forty different styles yet remaining. ' .. We are selling $3.50 Beds for $2.80 $4.15 $3.50 " $10.50 $8.10 $12.00 " $9.65 " $22.50 " $18.25 with those you have been paying: YnmYum Springs $2.40 Fall Leaf Table...... .. ...2.20 Kitchen ' tt-OO H. H. Treasure. . .'. . ; . . . ; f3.4& D. Linoleum, 12 ft ; . '. 65c All Wool Carpet.... 05 We invite your inspection . ' S. E. BARTMESS Compare prices below Sanitary Couches 5.25 " Davcu porta I.25 Wool Top Mattresses $:t.55 Three-quarter " 3.55 Single " 2.45 Excelsior " 2.15 HOOD RIVER Laundry Co. Does Washing- at Reasonable Rates I Call Up Main 3141 1 I HOME PHONE 138 . I ;,:. mi - yjit Don't Compliilu. If your ehext pains aiul you are n able to sleep becne f a ceuith, buy bottle of liallard's Ilorehiund Kviup. and von wunt have any vouuh. trt bottle now anil that couli not Ihhi lonss. A cine for a'l iiiilinonarv tit ea-M). Mra. J. (ialventon. T' 'it : "I ran't any ewmirh for BtMard'a HorL' hoiii.il Syrup. Tlio rt-lief ii h given toe i all that ic noceerv for me to ca." Sold by Chas. N Clarke. For baeaiua lu real estate see Boh well Shelley Canou, Wash. Cause of Stomach Troubles. When a man has trouble with his stomach you may know, that he is eat ing more than he should or of some ar ticle of food or d el n it not suited to nis age or occupation, or that his bowels are hahitHllv cwrtipated. Take Cham berlain V Stomach and l.tver 1 ablets to regulate the Irowels and improve the di gestion; and see if the trouble does not disappear. Ask for a free ,ample. Sold ov iveir vans. Club Chop House . AND - RESTAURANT bo not measure your enjoyment by the amount of money spent In produc ing It Khenuiatle Paiai Relh'ved. B (1. Crocker, !q. now" 84 years of ag'1. imd fo- 2i year justice of the pe le nt M.inliit-lnint. Ia, sy: "I am ter rildv attliotel i h miatic rheumatism in uiv left arm and right hip. I haw i wd three b-t!l- ol i ClmmU'rUiti' IVun Balm and it d.d m Us of (,,hJ, r' r sale by Keir A Oi. 11 Merchants' and Famcrs DINNER A. M. to 2 P. M 25c JftjlUlOOilU 1 A SPECIALTY Oregon SKotr Line Union Pacific 3 Trains to the East Dally Throneh PuMinun utanrtnrrtii nd tonrlt lwpln i"r i1lly to Omaha, ThlcaR'o, 8po kno: tonrlnt lprpln run 'tally to Kanmn Clt: tl.ronh I'ljMniiin lonrlt nlwelng cr (iwr-nrnillv mnitnrtmt) wwklv to Chicago. R.Ttlnlng rhiilr f.v (wit frf ) to tbc East dully I'n Ion lennt- Uav. Arrive ('lilcHKO-l'orllMnd Sppfllftl for the Knt vln Mnxllnirton.nioiy B:au am :nu pm onkn Flyer for Fimtern WHahliiKtnn. WhIIr walla, lwllon,oenri1'AI'neiana (lr.-u Northern point, (tally 8:11 pm (KM am AtmnticKipmui tonne e.nm Tla Htmtlnirton.dallv 6:00pm (:45am Prildnrt-Fndleton loCHlfor nil .olntu lietK-e'n l'etidleton nn1 I'ortlnnl, rtally 7:lm fafi pm RIVER SCHEDULE A j -BUY Comfort for Horses 5 A Blaukets bring comfort and health to the horse and save money for the owner. They protedl horses from the wintry blasts ; they keep horses well, save their lives. Strength, warmth and length of wear are characteristics of the SA Blankets. Ask for 5 A. Look for t!:e 5 A trade mark. Buy a UK Blm Girth for th Stable. r.uy SA Square (jr the Street. If You Want the best Money can Buy. .'''.I' ' . " We Have ' a Car of Fine -OATS just in. : ; Hood River Milling Co. i FAULTLE&S: We SaU Them S. J. FRANK Harness and Saddles KOIt ASTORIA Hnd 1:00 P. M. why point. iHmnPcllne; Dally nith .iHmerfo' II noo except ,mt Niirtli Heneti meam-l Hnndny, it HhiwhIo, Ai.li Htreet.HBlunlay, dirk (WHtor per.) 10:00 V. U. 6:00 P. M Dully except Bnnday. Kills t'nvion. Own illy urn! Vstnblll F',l r i-iln'o. A(i tret 'ib V iwiil-r t'r.l i A. M. Dully exrept Hunrt-ty. M MK l.l'.W IHTt)N,l:IO A. IiIhIih. itiI wy lioliiU.i Dull rr..m Hlrla, Wafli. excctt fnlnrdiiy .BICYCLE SHOP. J. MARION REID Bicycles, Guns, Sewing Ma chines, Furniture, Umbrellas, Stoves and Lock9 Repaired. KEYS MADE TO OIUER Iiicjeles, (iuiiK, et., sent by express or repairs will lie iiratlv and promptly re-1 Daired and retnrncd. Can sve you $1 1 to 13.00 on price of new nlieeU. Tires, brake, and all kinds of repairs sold at Port land prices. rritifurmshei on I npplication. lied renv: Brads trer Grubbing Machines Wire Rope and Extras ? Wire Fencing' of all Kinds Spray Pumps, Hose and Extras.. Buckeye Well Pumps. SHARPLES CREAM SEPARATORS VEHICLES and FARM MACHINERY J. R. NICREL5EN y g!- jBf:-' J WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A FRESH SUPPLY OF 11 n Nitrate of Soda, Muriate of Potash 7:! P. M. Dully exiwi 8und..y 40P. M Dally , exupi rrtday 7. W. DeBUSSEY OFrirn Hiit'HH I r. Wlil Hnims . m to IS noon: 1 '( D. in Nn frciitht rect lvl nr drllynl m1r t in PHuwi'vr Dfpol Hour fur t'tlrrry of ex. (rrmNnil mtltK 'HI m. till (p. in. . ' ' WM. McMURRAY. Oi Ufral Pawcufer Aviil, l'urllaod, Or. AND ALL KINDS OF FERTILIZERS COME TO US DIltECT FOIt WOOD i FIBERED HOUSE PLASTER CEMENT AND LIME AS WE UNLOAD DIUFXT FUOM THE CARS li STRANAHAN& CLARK y Hood River, Oregon ) tesVaSMdHIUHsllHMa 3 B C. P. ROSS Billiards and Bowling Alley and Confectionery Milwaukee Nurseries Have ti offer a good stock of Apple, Peari Cherry, Peach and Prune trees for Hip coming season. Have 20,000 two-ycar-oM Y, N. Pinpin, Spitzenburg Arkansas Itlark. Urtley, Hydes King, Winter H;iiii.n.. 80,000 one-year-old Y. N. Vippin PARLOIiS THE BEST LINE OF Tobaccos and Cigars IN THK CITY The Oieirmiiin. Telearmn and Journal ON HALE SUNDAY. and Spitiseiiburg. My stoi:k is all first cl.is tins year in every reaped,, anu hub to name. Planters lire invited to call and inspect this stock before placing your der8' N. B. HARVEY, Proprietor MILWAUKEE, OREGON.