The Hood River glacier., February 27, 1908, Page Six, Image 6

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aoon R! VKlt OLAOIfH THURSDAY FEBRUARY 27 1008.
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HELLSdrSROUND TRIP
Arizona's Editor's Tour Was
lively While It Lasted.
NO DESIRE TO BE DICTATOR.
The Wh Charge Ua OthiM Da
Ua a QrMt Injuttle," Ha Saya Or.
Barnaa Tald It Waa Tima Far Him
to Mava, Which Ha Did.
CCopyrlfht. HW.J
W art Jim Hcllao. We are tba ed
itor of the Kkker. We are mayor of
Olreadam Gulch. We are the pout
muter. We are a deputy United State
marshal We are the owner of Uell
ao'a Opera noose. We own the nellao
bank. We are the aole owner of alt
different mountains and 30,000 acre o'
desert landa In Arizona.
And yet we do not aspire to dictator
hip. We don't want to be pointed out
aa the blf "It" We haven't the sllstil
eat Idea that we own the town or tli.t
thtofs hTO got to go aa we derive
Those who charge us otherwise do u
a great Injustice.
At an early hour last Wednesda)
morning we buckled on our guns ami
"WU "TATTO IS1 CAH1 GENTLY, HUT
TIBKLI."
went hunting for an Individual named
Idaho Sam. He arrived liwv four
week! ago and announced tbnt lie was
a hoi terror, and he has sluce uuule
a nuisance of himself. We found b!;n
after half an hour's search and tondcr
ed him his choice between hittlug the
trail and hanging. lie started to argue
the matter, but we got the drop on
him, and as a result the midday sun
shone down on him as be rested on the
far side of Wolf creek.
Our next Tlslt of state wus paid to
Mr. 0. I. Flint, attorney at law. Mr.
Flint is of that class called shysters.
He was disbarred In Chicago and
came out here to make a fresh start
Bis doings hare been unsavory, and
he baa neglected to take advantngo of
little hints thrown out by us from time
to time. When we called and announc
ed to him that he must pull bis freight
he grabbed for a shotgun in the corner
of bit office, but soon thought better
of it and agreed to change climates.
Ha want that night In bis new loca
tion we wish him well.
Told Doctor to Movs.
Three months ago Dr. Bnrnes huug
out his sign on Apache avenue. Be
fore ho had been a week in prnctioe
we learned that be knew nothing about
medicines except what he had learnod
la a sawmill. We decided to give him
a chance, however. Out lu this coun
try wt feel that every man is entitled
to at least one fair show. Dr. Barnes
had made a botch of It at setting bro
ken limbs and diagnosing cases, and
it waa time for him to move on. We
stated the case gently, but firmly, and
bo replied that he had been expecting
It and was glad to go.
When Mr. John Taylor arrived lu
Olveadam Gulch six weeks ago he
gave out that he was looking for s
place to establish an orphan asylum.
He was offered sites on the mountains
and on the plains, but be seemed to
lose Interest It soon developed that
ha was simply a good natured sort of
deadbcat There haa been no pnrtleti
lar harm in him, but as be was breath
Ing ozone rightfully belonging to some
one else he was asked to move on. U
moved. There were tears In his eyes
aa ho went, and bis last , words were
that this was a cold old world.
Before we had visited Lawyer Jim
Wheelan in his office to bold a little
talk word came to us that he had a
cua and Intended to shoot on sight.
Mr. Wheelan Is another shyster. He
came here from Milwaukee to escnpe
being sent to state prison, but the
change of climate didn't bring reform
With it On several different ocvn
sloes we have had to refer to blm lu
the Kicker as a liar and a scoundtvi
and the relations between tin havo bceu
somewhat strained.
When we entered Mr, Wliocluu's of
fice the other day be was rvmly ( de
bate the question. We found ouraelf
iooktng into the muzzle of a large and
iberal revolver. As a matter of fact
ha palled trigger on us, and If the car-
trldge hadn't failed to explode this Is
sue of the Kicker would buve con
tained our obituary. The failure of the
cartridge gave us our chance, and with
in four hours Mr. Whoolnn and hi law
library and his little ways were out of
alght down the Tanther creek trull.
Other towns may greet blm with open
arms, but there was something lacking
between blm and the Oulcb.
Many and many a time in tbe lnst
six months havo we warned Dr. Henry
Mason that be should have stuck to
sheep herding and let the practice of
medicine alone. When we cam to
learn that ha couldn't tell quinine from
morphine we talked to him like a
brother and offered to pay his fare to
Florence, but he was a man who loved
to dwell on the ragged edges of fate.
He believed in destiny, and he believ
ed that destiny meant to lead the med
ical profession. He argued it out so
clearly that we shut op.
week ago Dr. Mason killed off his
third patient It was only a China
man, but oat here we are even coming
to look upon the Celestial as a human
'nfc- -The public didn't jetjaHyriae
s:i aud Cemsiuj i iu C-itr go or
baug. but ratter ot It tbat way
wbeu we railed. I wasn't a mluute
lu saying tbst be would go. lie hsd a
good offer to go back to his herding,
and so much Latin and medicine to
gether made bis besd ache. He retires
with honors. He could have killed a
dozen patients during his practice, but
he has been content with three.
Judg Given Wslking Papers.
No one exactly knows where the ln
dlvldunl calling himself Judge Wil
liams hailed from. He gave oat that
be waa here to see about establishing
waterworks, bat was soon a banger on
for free drinks and was always want
ing to borrow a dollar. His attitude
and occupation appeared against tbe
best luterests of Arlsons, and we there
fore gave blm a hint to more on. He
snld be would sadly miss tbe homelike
surroundings of tbe Gulch, bat be van
btbed. For a few minutes after we struck
the trail of Joe Canlff It looked as if
?oine oue would be planted before sun
down. Joseph came here from Santa
Ke a few weeks ago with an object in
view. That object as stated by him
self, was "to raise h 11." ne haa ac
compltKbed It pretty thoroughly. He
'ias bod two shooting scrapes and three
r four barroom rows. A few days
.go tbe vigilance committee aat on his
case, and It was resolved thst he must
go.
Joseph was the last on our list We
banted him oat la a pool room and as
sumed a brotherly smile. It didn't go.
Then we tried the fatherly dodge. It
didn't work. Joseph was fly. He had
two guns, and it was Just his hoar for
shooting. There wss some little dis
cussion, and then he started to draw.
We beat him by the fraction of a sec
ond, and, as he afterward said, be
ought to have had sense enough to put
hands up. He didn't have, however,
and we had to bore a bullet In his
shoulder. All things considered, he got
off easy. He Is now In the hospital,
but after a few days will set off with
a new song In bis heart and look for a
towu where a man of bis caliber is ap
preciated. Sooner or later he will be
lynched, but then be will have lots of
fun while he does live. We regard the
town now as in a healthy social con
dition and should not be a bit sur
prised to see a winter boom set In and
real estate Jump 29 per cent
M. QUAD.
Chamberlain's Coach Remedy a
Favorite.
"We prefer Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy to any other for oar children,"
say. Mr. L. J. Woodbury, of Twining,
Alien. "Jinas also done the work lor
us in hard colds and croup, and we take
pleasure in recommending it" ror
sale by Keir & Cass.
A Wedding Dsy Reminder.
William James, tbe famous psychol
ogist of Harvard, said at a dinner in
Boston:
"An odor often, brings back mem
ories that we had thought burled for
ever. As we regard some strange
landscape it often seems to as that
we have been Just here before. The
oddest the most momentous associa
tions oftentimes attach themselves to
the most trifling things.
"Thus at a Thanksgiving dinner that
I once attended the hostess said to a
sour faced man on my left:
'"May I help you to some of the
boiled rice, Mr. Smith r
"Rice? No, thank you no rice for
me,' Smith answered vehemently. 'It
Is associated with tbe worst mistake of
my life.'
Suffering and Dollars Saved.
E. 8. Loner, of Morilla. N. Y.. savs:
"1 am a carpenter and have had many
severe cuts healed bv llueklen'a Arnica
Salve. It has saved ma suffering and
dollars. It is by far the best healing
ealve I have ever found." Heals burns,
nvivB) uiiioict icrvi oviooi cvuviuai siiu
piles. 25catChas, N, Clarke's, drug-
gist. . -
Talking Through the Nose.
So called "talking through the nose"
is not talking through the nose at all,
but rather failure to do so that Is,
Instead of letting tbe tone flood into
the nasal cavity, to be re-enforced
there by striking against the walls of
the cavity, which act as sounding
boards for the tone confined within
tbat cavity, we shut off tbe cavity and
refuse the tone its natural re-enforcement
It takes on as a result a thin,
unresonant quality which we call na
sal, although It Is thin and anpleaBlng
because It lacks true nasal resonance,
The only remedy lies In ceasing to
shut off the cavity. Katberlne Jewell
Everts In Harper's Bazar.
For Rheumatic Sufferers.
The quick relief from pain afforded by
applying CliHtiiherlniti's Pain Balm
makos it a favorite with sufferers from
rheumatism, sciatic, lame back, lum
bago, and deep seated and muscular
pains, ror sale by Ketr A Cass.
Frog's Nsrrew Esoase.
A correspondent writes: "My son,
aged ten and a half years, waa working
In the garden when a viper about two
feet long glided past him. A good shot
with a stone about the size of a
cricket ball broke tbe reptile's spine,
wbllo a sharp edge of the granite cut
open the belly, thereby ' restoring to
freedom a frog, which hopped out of
Its prison unhurt." Madras Mall.
The old remedies are the best Hick
ory Bark Cough Remedy has been in
use for over one hundred years by tbe
old Dutch Dunkards of Pennsylvania
and is still In use by all the old familie,
of Western Pennsylvania. It absolntels
pure : made from the bark of the whity
or shell bark hickory ! ree. The bark ie
snipped irom tne east, and manuiacs
tnred in Salem, Oregon. For sale by
Chaa N. Clarke and all dealers..
Out of His Line.
Mrs. MuBlqne Are you fond oi
Brahms, Mr. Fllstecnt Mr. Fllsteen
No, ma'am; I can't say tbat I am.
These fancy dishes always give me
Indigestion, no matter how well cooked
they are. Cleveland Leader.
Use DeWitt's Little Early Risers,
Dleasant little Dills. Tliev are caav to
take. Hold by Keir A Cass.
Do not measure your enjoyment by
the amount of money spent I produc
ing It ,
For bargains in real estate see Boa
well Shelley, Caison, Wash,
TO LGER'S
2
. fSSffi Golden
j 6 Gate
will never vary if you grind
it at home. The grocer
grinds all kinds of Coffee
in his mill you grind but j
one in yours. See tne Point? 3
nxoma-ugnr. nns iever in
"I
bulk.
A. Foltfer OX Co
Bass sTrsmctaee
PATRICK HENRY.
His Pale Faee and Glaring Cyse Dur
ing His Grsat Ovation.
The most overwhelming of Patrick
Henry's- great orations Is thst wbk-b
he pronounced before tbe convention
which met in St. John's church at
Richmond March 23, 1775. Already tbe
muttering of war were so distinct
that Henry, Instead of concealing tbe
facts, declared that war was even then
on foot
"We must fight!" he said. "An appeal
to arms and to the God of hosts Is all
that is left as!"
Curiously enough, eveu of this ora
tion there Is no authentic record. Cer
tain sentences, certain stirring phrases,
were rememliered by many who were
there, but the speech as we have It Is
almost surely a restoration by William
Wirt himself an eloquent aud brilliant
orator. He supplied the gaps in what
bis Informants repented to blm, piec
ing out their recollections with his
own vivid fancy. But the spirit of
Henry flames all through It aud to
Henry may be safely ascribed such
burning sentences aa these:
"I have but one lamp by which my
feet are guided, and that is tbe lamp
of experience. I know of no way of
Judging the future but by tbe past"
"Three millions of people armed In
tbe holy cause of liberty and In such a
country as that which we possess ars
invincible by any force which our en
emy can send against us."
"Gentlemen may cry peace, peace,
but there is no pence!"
"Is life so denr or peace so sweet si
to be purchased at tbe price of chains
and slavery? Kerbld It, Almighty God!
I know not what course others may
take, but, as for me, give me liberty ot
give me death!"
As In the case of all orators of the
very first rank, the physical Impres
sion made by Henry was as strong as
the Intellectual. There exists a de
scription of bis appearance while de
livering this lust great speech a de
scription that came from one who was
present at the time. It tells how,
when Henry rose and claimed tbe floor,
there was an "unearthly fire burning
In bis eyes, ne commenced somewhat
calmly, but his smothered excitement
began more and more to play upon his
features and thrill In tbe tones of bis
voice. The tendons of his neck stood
out white and rigid like whipcords.
Finally his pale face and glaring eyes
became terrible to look upon." The
witness of the scene who gave this
vivid picture said that he himself "felt
sick with excitement." When tbe ora
tor had finished his speech "it seemed
as If a word from him would have
led to any wild explosion of violence,
Men looked beside themselves." Lyn
don Orr In Munsey's.
Dlsersst 8ilnc..
An excellent piece of advice was
that once given to George Gray, a
young Methodist preacher, who was a
mere boy when he began his work.
Within a few days of tbe time he was
fifteen and a half years old his name
was on the records of an annual con
ference as a traveling preacher the
youngest candidate ever received in
the Methodist Episcopal church. He
was sent to the Barre circuit In Ver
mont. As he mounted his horse to set
out for his appointed field of labor, a
Jaunt of more than 200 miles, his nn
cle, a Methodint of much shrewdness
and humor, gave him a parting ad
dress which he never forgot and to
which he often referred In later years.
"Never pretend that you know much,
George," said he, looking up at the
youthful rider from under bis shaggy
eyebrows, "for If you do so pretend
the people will soon find out thst you
are sadly mistaken, but neither," be
added after a moment's pause, "need
you tell them bow little you know, for
this tbey will find out soon enough.
For bargains In real estate see Roe
well Sbeliey, Cat sou, vYaeh.
NOTICK OF SALE OK BONDS.
Notice Is lu nl-v elvm tlial Hie board of di
rectors of tlif II mil K ver Irrigation District
In Wsnn cmntv. Orvvon. will net I thfihonct
of ld dl.Mrlc: In lotMofHOI or multiples of
mild slim. r-WiK), l tu orim't r. m..
Saturday, the Mst day of March.
IWIR, at the nmce oi rata uoara oi ii
reclors at the residence of Percy A. Hnilth
In said District, and that sealed proposals lor
said bonds In the lots or amount above Sw
elfled will be received by saia nonra ai sum
place for the purchase of said bonds until t he
day and hour aiove mentioned, at which
time the board will open the proposals and
wird the nnrchase or the bonds to the high
est responsible bidder, the Board remrvlnr
tbe right to reieci any ana en oinsi oius hi w
accompanied by a eertlrled oheck for 10 per
cent of the amount of the bonds for which the
h it Is sntmilllcd.
Kald bonds shall be payable In money of
the United SlaMts in teu series as ioiiows,
wit: At the expiration of 11 years, five per
pant of the whole number of said bonds; at
the (xplratl.)n of 12 years, six per cent; at the
expiration of the 13th year, ? percent; at the
expiration of the Hlh year, 8 per oent; at the
expiration of the lrth year, V per cent; at the
expiration of the liiih year, 10 percent; at the
expiration of the I7lh year, II percent; at the
exnlratlon of the 18th ymr. l.H percent; at the
expiration of the tilth year, IS per cent; at the
expiration oi me aim vrar, in pvr miii rhu
ahull bear Interest at the rate of six percent
per annum payable mtnil-aunually on the
nrsi aay oi .iHiiunry miu iuij wt. jm.
The nrlscliuil snd Interest shall be payable at
the place di signaled In the bonds aud bidders
are given the option of having said bonds
payable at Portland, In the atste of Oregon;
or at New York City, In the state of New
York, and said bonds will be issued In ac
rordance with tbe election or tne auooeasiui
bidders.
Raid bonds shall he each of the denomina
tion of not leas than One Hundred Dol
lars or more than r'tv Hundred Dollar,
and shall be In negotiable form, and coupons
for the Interest snail M aiuu-ueu to escn ana
filtrnAft hv the Hecretarv.
Wed at MooS HI ver, Oregon, tbltf'hday
o,rWrnary,,ti C. E. MARpHAM,
(tecreury.
Stanley-Smith
Wholesale and Retail
LUMBER
Lath. Shingles, Etc
Lumber Delivered to
SNOW & UPSON
Blacksmiths and Wagon Hak ers
EXPERT HORSESflOERS
We Imvo thelx'xt ti-tf -date machinery ttnd oxpt'i-t work
men uiul nif prepared to do all clur-seH of
NEWWORK & GENERAL REPAIRS
Coliseum Skating Rink
Catering to the Host CI as of Patrons Only.
New Hardwood Floor. Famous Richard
ron Rail Bearing Skates. Special attention
given to beginners. For private lessons
apply to Prof. A. Waldstein, floor manager
Wednesday Afternoon for Ladies only
GENERAL ADMISSION: Afternoons free;
Skates, 25c; Children, 15c. EVENING,
Liidies free; Gents 10c; Skates 25c extra.
Hours: Afternoon 2 to 5; evening, 7:30 to 10
MUSIC BY PROF. BEATTY'S ORCHESTRA
Waldstein , Knutson, Mgrs
Jr Ton hT tried all kinds of pills, wln and eatliarfttoi for Cons tlpa
tion and Liver Complaint. Now at IM RI AL. Cur. Tuka KR '1'nblrH
W and tee bow tonvh lettr they ar). ISea ti di iterant in retoiM. Their Ey
iflr utton is nvr attend- d by t!int all ffmto-3l'k HonRtitlmi they nmko you
am fotl better tba minute yon tako thorn. They brnoH yn nn aint pnt nw it fa v
mm n yon, mako you feel tronfft-r and better, beaiuiio they ara maiia to iveu- m
it iho a u tiro ditWe item. Ooo doaa will convince you. ftal a tfta uu V 1
BETTER THAN PILLS FOR LIVER ILLS.
II IteA.H.UwisMe&cineCas''' St. Louis, Mo. 1
Chas. N. Clarke
The Knockout Blow.'
The blow which knocks! out Corbet!
whs a revelation to ths prlzs fighters.
From the earliest day of the ring the
knock-out blow was aimed for the Jaw,
I he tern pie or the J ugular vein. Stomach
punches were thrown In to worry and
weary the fighter, but If a scientific man
bad told one of the old fighters that the
most vulnerable, spot was the region of
the stomach, he'd have laughed at him
for an ignoramus. Dr. Pierce Is bringing
hook( to ths public a parallel fact; that
thif siomacVli the most vulnerable organ
out ofhe prto ring as well as In It ' Wa
protect bur hatis, throats, feet and lungs,
but theSMM&bVa are utterly Indiffer
ent to, until diseatAHnds the solar plexus
and knocks usoutT Mske vour stomach
sound nnd strong bvjlie ute of Djictnj
lLc!s -HohLfiL M iidics! Jif ovyrnnfl
you pryiett, youffflf n Yojrjffjoflniia
uiilc spot. "Golden Medical Discovery1
cures "weak stomach," Indigestion, or
dyspepsia, torpid liver, bad, thin and Im
pure blood and other diseases of the or
gans of digestion and nutrition.
The "Golden Medical Discovery " has a
specific curatlvo effect upon all mucous
surfaces snd hence cures catarrh, no
matter where located or what stage It
may have reached. In Nasal Catarrh It
Is well to cK-anse the passages with Dr.
Sage's Catarrh Remedy fluid while using
the " Discovery " as a constitutional rem
edy. IVhy the "Golden Medical Discov
ery cures catarrhal diseases, as of the
stomach, bowels, bladder and other pelvic
organa will be plain to you If you will
read a booklet of extracts from the writ
ings of eminent medical authorities, en
dorsing Its ingredients and explaining
their curative properties. It Is mailed
fret on request. Address Dr. R.V. Pierce,
JiufTalo, N, Y. This booklet gives all the
Ingredients entorlng Into Dr. Pierce's
medicines from which It will be seep that
they contain not a drop of alcohol, pure,
trlp!e-rn fined glycerine being used Instead,
Dr. Plerco's grest thousand-page Illus-trnu-d
Common Monse Medical Adviser
will lw sent free, paper-bound, for 21 ono
cent stain jm, or cloth-bound (or U Stomps.
Address Dr. Pierce as above.
C. EVERETT,
The Practical Shoemaker,
At liiggs' Old Stand.
Fine Work a Specialty.
Pay Taxes tt Home.
A oopv of tbe tax roll la now In tbe
hands ot tbe Butler , Haokln Com
pany aud anyone wishing to do so
may pay their taxes through tba bank
without additional expense. .
liutler Banking Co.
Lumber Co.
Any Part of the Valley
Hood River, Oregon
Polytechnic
BUSINESS COLLEGE
Harrison St Oakland, Cal.
Inc. Cnpit.il Stock - fliiO.OOO.OO
Omit nuelnrss Trail, Inn Rohool of the
West. Over KM) students attending this
year. Finest Building and equlpnxnl In
the I!. 8. National reputation fur lilvb
grade work. Judorxe'i hy Oakland Clmiri
berof t'onimeice and Iradlnt edupator
throughout the Went. Homn Influent
Ideal climate. Terms low, Position for
all graduates.
Complet. courses In Buslnsts Training,
Shorthand, Typewriting, Banking, alt. Civ
il, Blectrtcal, Mining and Mechanical Cngl
fwering. Conducts
Special School of Telegraphy
(or the Southern Pacific Railroad Co., and
Departs operators (or Positions. $60 to $75
per month.
EDISON
Phonographs
We Bi ll them, the most perfect snnnd
producing machine Mr. Edison's favo-
Ite invention, which contain all of Ms
i.i'w Inipioveiuents. We are now allow
:iig Ihu new model witli the big horn,
the greatest triumph in plnn'f!ripli
making. Don't forget that Mr. Eiiieon
is the inventor of the entire phono
graphic idea, and that the EriUon plio
nograph is the original talk ni n aihine
Over fifteen hundred Edison record in
stock. Call and see for yourself.
W. D. Rogers
Hood River Studio
Hunts Paint & Wall Paper
Company
Have added a complete line of PAINTS, OILS, VARNISH
ES and BRUSHES.
HEATH & 2IILLIGAN MIXED PAINTS.
Our stock of paper includes latest designs in Blanks, Gilts
and high Grades, From 10c up. A full stock of room
molding, Picture rail, Plate rail and a small line of
novelties in Framed' Pictures. CALCIMO.tbe
latest thing in room tinting, mixed to order.
Painting, Paper hanging, Sign work etc.
Phone 671 . First and Ouk Streets.
Square Deal Store
"Honest Goods and Sqaure
: . Deal for Every flan" . .
IS MY MOTTO
The Ideal Weeder
Is what its name implies, a Genuine Weed Killer
and the nearest to perfection of any orchard
tool yet Introduced in ! Hood River Valley. Try
one. and be convinced. Satisfaction Guar an
teed or no sale.
Osborn Spring Peg-Tooth Harrows
Acma Harrows
Plows and Cultivator
Potato Diggers
Wagons, Hacks aud Buggies
Flour, Feed, and a Full line of Groceries at all Tim;
Gar Load Stumping Powder just received
Yours for Business
Phone 741
D.
3rd and River 5trt.
Oregon Lumber Company
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
ORDERS FOR
Lumber, Lath, Shingles
Piling, Cedar Posts
and Poles
SOLICITED
I'nn ills.' furnish Slab Wood $2.50 per cord, f. o. b.
Hood River
Pi.., ....... . lit f F r -. i
J. H
TT1 ft T
DEALER IN
Staple and
Fancy Groceries
AND HARDWARE.
SOLE AGENTS FR
Majestic & Mesaha Ranges
and Stiletto Cutlery.
HOOD RIVER HEIGHTS, -
IJrSJHXOST STABLE
..Livery, Feed and Draying..
Ph. C. YOUNG
Dealer In
Fresh and Cured Meats
Lard, Poultry and Fish
HOOD RIVER, ORE.
Phone Main 471 Free Delivery
M'DONALD
Hood Rim, Ora
GILL.
TIT. TIT
OREGON.
TRANABAN & RATHBUN
Hood River, Ore.
Hornet b-.uglit, sulil or exchanged.
Pleamre partim can -eciirn Hr4-drtss rigs.
Special attention nivm to nijvini furniture an.
liano.
vVe U ev-ryli;, y lor-f .-m, ,o.
I