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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (April 13, 1900)
The Immediate Future of PaciBc
Coast Seaport Towns Appear
In an article entitled,,' "Possibilities
of the Pacific," Bonds and Mortgages,
published in Chicago, ioke as follows:
There is no section of the prosperous
Went which is attracting the eyes of the
financial world more at present than
the cities of the Pacific coatst. The
vant and rapidly growing trade of the
Orient and the tropics, the gold discov
eries in Alaska, the growth of Australia
and New Zealand, the opening np of
the vast steppes of Russia and of the
great Chinese empire, all bespeak com
mercial and financial opportunities un
paralleled in the history of the coun
tiy. The scene of the future human
drama hat been shifted to the Pacific
coast. Two-thirds of the world's popu
lation awaits us at our Western gates,
separated from us only by a great ocean
highway, free from the possibilities of
toll or monopoly, and affording every
accommodation necessary for the trans
action of an enormous volume of new
Already American commerce with
the islands and countries of the Pacific
shows a greater gain in tho year 1809
than that with any other part of the
world. Our total exports increased
120,000,000, and our exports to Asia
and Oceania alone Increased over $iw,
000.000: our total imports increased
$164,000,000, and $48,000,000 of thii
increase was from Asia and Oceania
Exports to Asia and Oceania increased
27 per cent, while imports from that
part of the world Increased 40 per cenr
With these interesting and instructive
figures before us, the immediate future
. of the Pacific coast seaport towns ap
pears particular bright. The greatest
activity prevails in the younger and
more progressive cities of the North
west, with Seattle, Portland and Ta
coma eagerly vying with each other for
commercial supremacy. The heavy in
vestments made during the past year
by Eastern capitalists in this section
reflect the fullest realization of exist
ing conditions by the far-sighted invest
ing olass. The Pacifio Northwest is
just emerging out of the hoar of dawn
to bathe in the most brilliant rays of
prosperity which ever shown oon any
The farmers of Eagle valley, Or., are
about to erect a fruit cannery. At a
meeting held at the schoolhouse at that
place the farmers of the valley sub
scribed $3,000 for the purpose. The
total cost of tho plant will be about
$5,000, and, as this is the first meeting
held, .the farmers are confident that no
trouble will be met with in raising the
full amount. The establishment of the
cannery will be of much benefit to
Baker City, as well as to the farmers
of the valley, where a large amount of
fruit is raised annually. The cannery
will be conducted on the co-operative
plan, and it is the intention to take all
the fruit offered by the farmers. Much
of the product will find a market in
liaknr City, as the home consumption
is large and is steadily increasing.
Dei Chutes to Be CtllUed.
A company has been organized to
take water out of the Deschutes at a
point near the Three Sisters known as
Lava island,' and conduct the water to
the desert lying east of the river. The
point of diversion is said to be one of
the best on the river owing to the ab
seni-9 of rooky bluffs. From this point
water will be taken east to the old
river bed, 15 miles, covering large
, tracts of excellent farming lands.
I A new Methodist Episcopal church is
to be erected at Cottgae Grove, Or., to
Washington papers are saying com
plimeutary things about Harry Yoe
mons, of Spokane, who helped Harvard
win the intercollegiate debate from
Blodgett & Greenbauin have begun
work to double the capacity of their
fertilizer plunt at Falrhaven, Wash.,
aud hope this season to handle all the
refuse of the fish caunerius in their
Tho sacriligious pastor of a Baptist
church at Albany, Or., took the follow
ing for his subject Sunday evening,
"Would Jesus Vote the Republican or
Democratic Ticket?" The vice of
Sheldonism is spreading.
A Bellingham bay man, named Can
field, has a big lied of pansies planted,
and will attempt to raise them for seed.
The only pansy seed product in the
West is in California, and the best
varieties come from France and Bel
glum. If he raises as good seed as he
planted. Mr. Canfleld will get $30 a
pound for it.
A large number of Washington's
shingle mills, probbaly 75 per cent, are
observing an agreement for a short
shutdown. The reason given therefore
is that "the backward spring in the
East has caused a falling off in orders.
which makes a curtailing of the supply
lieoossary to the equilibrium of prices
The Eastern buyer may think this is
tho actiou of a trust, but, of course, it
The bulb farms at Fort Bellingham,
Wash., are now at their handsomest.
One man has a vast number of tulipi
and 3,500 hyacinths in bloom.
A Wallowa man has brought back
from New Orleans a live alligator
eight iuchos in length.
A carload of Casoara bark was shipped
from Corvallis, Or. Its destination is
The 3-year old daughter of She) iff
Holder, of Sherman county, Or., was
playing with a kite and matches, last
week, when she set her clothing afire
and was considerably burned. She is
expected to recover, with little dis
E. C. B. Taylor, an old and respected
citizen of Lewis county, Wash., is
dead, near Toledo. He was a member
of the O. A. K. and a pioneer of that
part of Washington.
By a voto of 44 to 80, the property
owners of Lakeview have deeluml to
bond the town for flO.OOO for a water
system and electrio licbt plant. It is
expected the improvements will be
completed by November 1 .
The Bank of Ontario, Or., announces
that it will take advantage of the new
national banking Jaws, and organixe
ft national bank.
SPRING TRADE SITUATION.
Favorable Weather Brings an Improved
RrftdHtreet's save: Favorable features
continue in the majority in the general
trade situation. The hopes for the ad
vent for seasonable spring weather
have been realized, and nearly all mar
kets report an improved dl.jributlon at
retail This, as explained nereiuiure,
is really the key of the general mer
chandise situation. The industrial sit
uation is a rather spotted one. April
1, instead of May 1, seems to have been
fixed upon as a date for presenting new
dnmands as to waaes and hours.
Wheat crop advices are on the whole
fuvnmlilo except from the Central
West. Svmpathy is shown with corn,
which in turn has been influenced by
tho steady advance in hog products and
by the known smallness of reserves in
cribs and in store.
Cotton goods are seasonably quiet at
first hands, but a fair jobbing business
is doing, and retail distribution is en
couraging. Wool is on the whole
weaker, but reports from the woolen
goods branch are quite favorable.
Cancellations reported are the smaller
there is record of. Lumber has show.
some" weakness, a widely separated
market this week pointing to not alto
sether satisfactory outlook in the build-
tug trades, whether because of heavy
advances in prices or ot unseuiea la
Wheat (including flour) shipments
for the week aggregate 8,864,963 bush
Is. against 2.962,349 last week.
Business failures in the United
States for tho week number 182, at
compared with 178 last week. For the
first auarter of the year, failures are
fewer in number than in 1899, and
liabilities are 7 per cent smaller.
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Onions, new, $2.00 8. 75 per sack.
Lettuce, hot house, 45c per do.
Potatoes, new, $17 18.
Beets, per sack, 75 85c.
Turnips, per sack, 60c.
Carrots, per sack, 75c.
Parsnips, per sack, 75 85c.
Cauliflower, 75c$l per dozen.
Cabbage, native and California,
$1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds.
Apples, $1.251.50 per box.
Prunes. 60c per box.
Butter Creamery, 25o per pound;
dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 17o per pound
Cheese Native, 15o.
Poultry 13 14c; dressed, 1416c;
Hay puget Sound tiraotny, $is.uu;
choice Eastern Washington timothy,"
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $33;
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
Flonr Patent, per barrel, $3.25;
blended straights, $3.00; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $0.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat
flour. 3.00; rye flour, S3.B04.UO.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00;
shorts, per ton, $14.00.
Feed Chopped feed, iflB.UU per ion;
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton. $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed peel
steers. 748o; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 80
Hams Large, 13c; small, 13i;
breakfast bacon, 13c; dry salt sides,
Wheat Walla Walla. 64 55c;
Valley, 64c; Bluestem, 67-c per bushel,
Flour Best grades, S8.00; graham,
$3.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 85 36c; choice
eray. 84o per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, sugi4.ou;
brewing. $17.0017.60 per ton.
MillBtuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid
dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per
Hay Timothy, $9 10; clover, $7
7.50; Oregon wild hay, $07 per ton.
Butter Fanoy creamery, 4U4oo;
seconds, 40c; dairy, 80376c;
store, 25 32 Mo.
Eggs 1 1 o per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13
Yonna America. 14c; new cheese 10
Poultry Chickens, mixed, ifa.uua
4.50 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs,
$2.603.50; geese, $6.508.00 forold;
$4.606.5Q; ducks, $5.500.00 per
dozen; turkeys, live, 10llo per
Potatoes 40 500 per sack; sweets,
82io per pound.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 7oo;
per sack; garlio, 7o per pound; cab
le, 1)40 per pound; parsnips, 75;
onions, $2.503.00; carrots, 50o.
Hops 8 80 per pound
" Wool Valley, 1618o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 1015o; mohair, 27
30o per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, 4io; dressed mutton, 7
7 Wo pr pound; lambs, $2.60 each,
llogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.50; dressed,
$5.006.60 per 100 pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.50;
cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 64
74 0 per pound.
Veal Large, 6s7o; small, 8
8o per pound.
Tallow 5 5c; No. 8 and grease,
8)4 4c per pound.
Ban Franeiseo Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 18 15c per
pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; al
ley, 2022c; Northern, 10 120.
Hops 1899 crop, 11(3130 per
Butter Fancy creamery 17o;
do seconds, 1616c; fancy dairy,
16c: do seconds, 1315o per pound.
Eggs Store, 14o; fancy ranch,
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00
20.00; bran, $18.60 13.50.
Hay Wheat $6.60 9.60; wheat and
oat If fl. 00(3 9.00; best barley $5.00
7.00; alfalfa, $5.00(36.60 per ton;
straw, 2640o per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose, 60 75c; Ore
gon Burbanks, 60o$1.00; river Bur
banks, 40 70c; Salinas Burbanks,
80c 1. 10 per sack.
Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia,
$2.76 3.85; Mexican limes, $4.00
6.00; California lemons 75c$1.60;
do choice $1.75 3.00 per box.
Tropic! Fruits Bananas, $1.60
9.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates, 66 So per
SUSAN B. ANTHONY.
"GRAND OLD WOMAN" OF
She Baa at the Blp Old Age of Eighty
Years Retired from tbe Presidency of
the National Woman' Suffrage As
sociation. The career of Susan B. Anthony, who
has retired from the presidency of the
National Woman's Suffrage Associa
tion, and to whom, in honor of her
eightieth birthday, a grand reception
was tendered In Washington, has been
a remarkable one. sue maae ner nrsi
speech In public In 1840, at Canajobarle,
N. Y., where she was teaching In the
academy. Her subject was the rela
tion of women to temperance. Two
years later, at Rochester, N. Y.,
whither her family bad moved, she first
became Interested in tbe anti-slavery
agitation. Before 1851 bad ended she
had made the acquaintance of Garrison,
Phillips, Greeley, Pillsbury, Douglass.
Stephen and Abby Foster, Lucy Stone
and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, all believ
ers In woman's right to the franchise,
and she became enthusiastic In tbe
cause. She attended her first woman's
rights convention In Syracuse in 1852.
Lucretla Mott was elected President
and Miss Anthony was made Secretary.
From that date to the present she has
attended from one to a dozen conven
tions every year, and never has been
out of office.
For several years she worked, might
and main, in tbe temperance cause, but
indignant at being "snubbed and Insult
ed" by the men's conventions, and "dls-
gusted with the subserviency of worn
en," she resolved to devote her life to
the emancipation of her sex. From this
decision she never has swerved, except
during those years when she labored
for the freedom of the negroes. She
has been mobbed again and again, and
often has held her ground when every
man on the platform fled to a place of
Her Great Labor.
At the present time it is difficult to
conceive the ridicule and contempt
heaped on tbe pioneers In this move
ment; nor did It come from men alone.
When Susan B. Anthony tramped from
door to doer with petitions praying the
Legislature to enact laws which would
permit a woman to own property and
control tho wages she earned, and
would take from fathers the power to
will away their children, it was women
who slammed the door in her race, tell
ing her they had all the rights tbey
wanted. In the winter of 1855, one of
the coldest and snowiest on record, she
canvassed the whole State of New
York In the interest of those petitions
and also one asking for the franchise,
going from village to village, from
schoolhouse to schoolhouse, most or
the distance in a sleigh, with not a
home open to her, not a dollar sub
scribed toward ber expenses. It was
an unheard-of thing for a woman to do,
yet not only one but many winters did
she make this canvass, and after ten
years of effort on the part of herself
and a few associates the Legislature
began to yield.
Undaunted by abuse, slander and
threats of violence, and strong In their
sense of justice, Susan B. Anthony and
a few companions went steadily for
ward, blazing the way which Is now
bo smooth and flowery for the millions
of women banded together in organl-
latlons and holding their great puDllc
meetings. Scores and scores of conven
tlons, alone and almost unaided, she
has originated and carried through to
a successful conclusion, advertised
them, hired the hall, secured the speak
ers, and made herself responsible for
the expenses. She has been always
and is to-day the financial burden bear
er of the suffrage organization, and can
raise more money than anybody else-
more than all the rest
The first memorial ever sent to Con
gress asking for the enfranchisement
of women was prepared by Miss
Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton
In 1S67. They, with others, organized
In 1S00, In New York City, the first Na
tional Woman Suffrage Association.
The same year the American Associa
tion was organized In Cleveland. Twen
ty years later the two consolidated.
A. Head of the Association.
Miss Anthony never could he per
suaded to fill the office of President of
the association when It was possible to
persuade Mrs. Stanton to do so, but
with that lady's family affairs In early
days, and lecture engagements in later
years, the former was acting president
much of the time, aud from 1879 Vice
President at large. In 1S02 Mrs. Stan
ton, then 76 years ofd, begged that the
gavel might be transferred to Miss An
thouy. and tbe delegates yWlded to he;
But Miss Anthony does not relin
quish tbe presidency to enter into a
period of rest She means to complete
the history of the woman suffrage
movement in the United States. In
1876 she and Mrs. Stanton began writ
ing the history of the movement and
brought It down to 1884. During the
last sixteen years there bas been more
practical advance In the status of wom
en than In all which preceded. Miss
Anthony has preserved the necessary
materials, and now, at 80 years of age.
will begin at once tbe stupendous task
of completing the story, bringing It
down to the present year.
SOME OF REYNARD'S TRICKS.
He Sometime. Outwit tne iiouna
When Pursued by Them.
Not long ago the Washington hunt
of Valley Forge started a young fox
In the North valley hills, and toe
hnnnrta were runnlntr It across the open
fields when the hunters were surprised!
to see a much larger fox come from
the woods and run diagonally across
the track of the young fox ahead of
the hounds, and when they struck the
stronger track of the bigger fox they
took It up, young Raynard tnereoy oe-
ing saved from being run uowu uuu
killed by tbe bounds.
Old hunters say they have frequently
witnessed this trick when young foxes
were being closely pressed and in dan
ger of being run down and killed by
the hounds.. Another ana an even
sharper trick was played by an old fox
some weeks ago while being hotly
chased by hounds. The fox had run
some twenty miles, and while crossing
an open stretch of country was in dan
iwinir run down and killed. In
a field through which the fox was run
nlng with the hounds close to its heels
was the cellar of an old house, with
a nortlon of the walls still standing.
The fox made straight for the old cel
lar, leaned into it and made its es
cape through a narrow opening in the
walls. The hounds, supposing tbe fox
was trapped, dashed into the cellar
pell mell. only to find Reynard gone
and themselves in a trap, as the hole
In the wall through which the fox had j
escaped was too small to permit them
to get through. -
When the hunters rode up they found
the pack in a trap, with one of the
hounds wedged fast in the hole
through which the fox had made its es-
cane. liv the time tne nounas were
gotten out of the cellar the fox was
safe in Its hole. Philadelphia Times.
He Engaged the Boy.
Dr. McTavlsh of Edinburgh was
something of a ventriloquist, and it be
fell that be wanted a lad to assist in
the surgery who must necessarily be
Uf strong nerves.
He received several applications, and
when telling a lad what the duties
were, in order to test his nerves, he
would say, while pointing to a grin
nine skeleton standing upright m a
"Part of your work would be to feed
the skeleton there, and while you are
here vou may as well have a try to
A few lads would consent to a trial,
and received a basin of hot gruel and
While they were pouring a hot mass
Into the skull the doctor would throw
his voice so as to make it appear to
proceed from the Jaws of the bony cus
tomer, and gurgle out:
"Gr-r-r-gr-h-uh! That's hot!"
This was too much, and without ex
ception the lads dropped the basin and
The doctor began to despair of ever
getting a suitable helpmate until a
small boy came and was given the
basin and spoon.
After the first spoonful the skeleton
appeared to say:
"Gr-r-r-uh-r-hr! That's hot!"
Shoveling in the scalding gruel as
fast as ever, the boy rapped the skull
and impatiently retorted:
"Well, jlst blow on't, ye auld bony!"
The doctor sat down on his chair and
fairly roared, but when the laugh was
over he engaged the lad on the spot
Did Not Doubt Him.
"He says be would gladly lay the
world at my feet," said the sentimental
"That's what he'll do," said Miss
Cayenne. "After you're married, he'll
lay the world at yonr feet and compel
you to walk on It because you can't af
ford a cab," Washington Star.
Potash In Orchard.
Potash Is of great value In an orch
ard. It Is the backbone of all fertilizers
used by fruit growers. The trees where
It Is used are vigorous and the fruit
large In size, with a high color and good
flavor. No manure which does not con
tain a high percentage of potash should
be used In an orchard.
FROM A CAR WINDOW. I
One Man Who WIH Not Throw Thlngo
Ont Any Wore.
The drummer sitting next to tbe win
dow was about to throw Jila cigar stub
oue when tbe drummer opposite put up
a restraining band.
Don't throw It out of the window,
be said quietly, but with firmness.
Wbr not? What's the difference 1
asked tbe other, somewhat annoyed by
the tone of reproof appareut in the otl-
er man's voice.
"Listen, and I will tell you a story.
said the older drummer, smiling In 11
kindly way that smoothed the others
ruffled feelings. "When I was about
your age, which I should say was twen
ty-five years ago, I was accustomed 10
throw my cigar stubs out of tbe car
window, but I bad an experience one
time that made me change my custom.
We were flying along through Ohio one
day and I had the last seat In the last
car of a day train between Columbus
and Pittsburg. The car was crowded
with men going to some kind of a Dig
political meeting at Steubenville. and
everybody was smoking. I was pufnug
awav with the others, and when my
cigar was smoked up 1 gave It oue final
draw and tossed It far out or tne win
dow. As It left my hand 1 noticed be
airio Hie track below us a dozen men
grouped around something or other 1
could not tell what An Instant later,
apd when we were two or three hun
dred yards away, there was a Hash and
a muffled report and the group of woik-
nien was scattered in every direction.
The train was stopped and backed up.
when we found that a keg of powder
for blasting purposes, which they open
ed and were distributing to each man.
bad mysteriously exploded, blowing
them In every direction. As It hap
pened, nobody was killed, but all were
more or less shocked, and I knew too
well to say anything about It Innocent
though I was, that It was my cigar
stub that had by the merest chance
dropped Into the keg and set the pow
der off. I said nothing then or Tor years
afterward about It, but two days Inter,
to satisfy my suspicions, 1 visited the
place, and In the branches of a tree al
most overhanging the spot I found the
remnants of a cigar stub, torn and pow
der burnt, and I doubted it no longer.
Count Tolstoi is again at work upon
his Interminable revisions of the proofs
of his "Resurrection." The American
edition of this novel will be brought
out before next autumn.
It Is said that Beatrice ITarraden has
already planned and sold her next story
sold It as far as serial rights are con
cerned. "The Fowler" has had a large
sale both In Great Britain and in Amer
Mrs. Cralgie said she chose her pen
name, "John uuver uoDDes, ror two
reasons: "To correct any tendency to
sentimentality in myself; and because I
thought by choosing so harsh a name
that no one would suspect a woman
bad selected it."
Great mystery has been made to sur
round the appearance of Ibsen's latest
drama, which was to be published sim
ultaneously in Norwegian, German,
English, French and Russian. Accord
ing to his own. words, this play Is the
last Ibsen Intends to write.
What is said to tbe tbe first collection
of short stories written In tbe English
language by a Japanese will shortly be
published under the title of "Jroka,"
being tales and folk-lore stories of old
and new Japan by Adacbl Klnnosuke,
who dwells near Glendale, Cal. .
Some twenty German officers have
contributed a chapter each on "The
Franco-German War," which has been
translated Into English and edited by
Major General J. F. Maurice, C. B., and
Capt Wilfred J. Long, and which the
Macmlllan Company will publish im
In Turin the Royal Academy of Sci
ence has offered a prize of 30,000
francs ($0,000) for the best critical his
tory ef Latin literature, which will be
Issued between this and Dec. 31, 1900,
All nationalities can take part In the
competition. Only printed works and
not manuscripts will be taken into con
sideration. Kegnn Paul, the English publisher,
who has just published a book of
"Memories," is of the opinion that "lit
erature is not in itself a profession."
He Is sorry for the young author who
"has nothing to fall back upon." Where
in he disagrees with Sir Walter Besant
who thinks that any one may make a
good living out of letters. Tennyson,
according to Mr. Paul, was "a thorough
man of business, and our final parting
at the end of one of our periods of
agreement was that we as publishers
and he as author took a different view
of his pecuniary value." The passage
is eloquent In more ways than one.
To Kiep Glasses On.
"Isn't It strange," said Mr. Burton,
while in a reminiscent mood, "how dis
coveries are made? Of course, that la
a general statement but to tbe case In
"I wear glasses, as you know, but I
four ' grea' trouble In keeping them on.
They were continually following the
laws of gravitation and falling to the
floor. The trouble was that 1 did not
have a bridge of size, and I spent
money and time experimenting with
different kinds of springs and clasps
and nose pieces, but all proved fail
Now, the other night I had an Idea
(that's all right 1 am guilty of an idea
once In a while) that if I would put
some powdered rosin on my nose that
would hold 'em for a while, so I ac
cordingly hunted up my friend, the vio
linist and, getting some rosin, made a
" as it a success? Why, I can turn
a handspring backward and those
glasses are still doing business at tbe
old stand." Richmond Times.
When reformers don't know what
else to abuse, they attack the frying
Bigamy is simply an overissue of mat
0JJJ BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS Awu
INGS HERE AND Tntnfc.
Jokes and Jokel.t. that Ar.6nppo.ed
to Bav. Been Recently Born-oej
and Doing, that Ar. Old, Cur ion. and
Laughabl.-Tho W.ek'i Hnmor.
Rinhbs-Henpeckke has bought his
Slobbs-Yes; he told me ne iuou8u..
that was tbe only way ne tuum
her up.-Phlladelpbia Record.
Whnt! back again!" exclaimed the
young housekeeper, "you can't expect
s. An Xf
me to give ru case evnj uij.
vn ln-V reu ea tne poor ue&B"'-
"I thotir 1 . -.yoe you nau au uj
nf black clothes you mignt give ms-. Mo
poor ole mother eat the cake you gev me
yestid'y." Philadelphia tress.
CLnnA Rnnnorh Reason.
MAther I'm surprised at you!
Couldn't you tell he was going to kiss
Dauzbter-Yes, ma, out mere
fn.r mo tn tell except him, and be
knew It already.-rhiladelphia Press.
One Not Enough.
She a man and his wife should be
one; I wonder why they so seldom are?
He Because It takes two to mane a
Where "G" Stand, for Love.
"Can you love a man who's old?"
"Yes. if he bas also one more letter
to add to that."
"G. dear, to make old gold." Pick-
Or Lose an Umbrella.
Mrs. Stubb John, this paper says
there is a place In Africa where it never
Mr. Stnbb Bv links, it would do a
man good to live there a lifetime.
Mrs. Stubb Why, John?
Mr. Stubb Because he'd never see a
rainy-day skirt, Maria.
Ida What kind of souvenirs did that
tear-produclng drama distribute?
May Pocket handkerchiefs.
A Reckless Suggestion.
Mrs. Qui Vive Dear Mr. Surplice, I
can't make up my mind what Lenten
sacrifice will be the most acceptable.
Mr. Surplice Ah! oh! well dear
madame suppose you give up trying to
run the church. Life.
The Acme of Cynicism.
Reuben Rallfence Hiram don't be
lieve In nothln' sacred nor profane no
more. He's a Infidel, a blasphemous
Josh Emmalong That's right He
don't even believe what the home paper
says no more! Puck.
City sportsman Any game around
Farmer Yes; the woods are full of It
City sportsman I supposed It had
been pretty well killed off by now.
Farmer Oh, no. No one ever hunts
around here but you city fellows.
There Are Exceptions.
"But my dear husband, it really is
very unjust of you to abuse mothers-
in-law so; there are good ones."
"Well well, never mind; I haven't
said anything against yours it's only
mine I'm grumbling about" The Cig
Cover, a Multitude of Faults.
"What made you suppose that
Crossgraln has dyspepsia?"
"Why, 1 like to take a charitable view
of everybody, and dyspepsia Is tbe best
excuse I could think of for his disposi
Vpa and Downs.
Doctor Do you know the effects of
getting too much mercury in your sys
Denny-Yis, doctor, Oi d be a ther
Slip of the Tongue.
"What do you sell that ribbon for?"
asked a young lady in a High street
dry goods store.
"Eight dollars a week oh, beg par
don, 25 cents a yard, madam." Colum
bus (Ohio) State Journal.
No Escape from That.
"A penny for your thoughts,
"Why, Harold, I can't you know,"
answered the diplomatic miss, "be
cause this Is not lean year." Kansas
Similar bnt Different.
Mr. Nipp Is there any truth In the
minor that jour affections are en
oiis. rijpr ison. whatever. 1 am.
A Gnmp of a Poet.
Mrs. De Fashion What a gumn thai'
Mr. Finemlnd, tbe great poet, Is! I
Friend Is he? f
Mrs. De Fashion Huh! At the grand
reception I gave him 1 had the mottf
beautiful flower. I could buy brought!
in ana strewn in nis patn tor Dim to
walk on, and, would you believe It, tbe I
clown actually walked around the, :
Just as if we hadn't money enough t .
buy more. New York Weekly. j
A. Fhe Understood It. f
He This liquid air Is great! f
She Yes; won't It be lovely when we
can dip tip hot or cold air with a bucket;
and pour it out of the window? la-
Willing to Be a Slave.
Paul x'hls is what I've written, dear-;
"The season draws rapidly to a close,
and the poor slaves of fashion, released
from the weary treadmill of society,
with its hollow formalisms, Its empty
shibboleths, may breathe a freer at
mosphere." ' i
Virginia Yes, Taul, that's splendid;
and, O, how I wish you were writing
from our own experience. The King. f.
Give It a Wide Berth. f
Sandy Pikes Strike Denver off our.
vlsitln' list, pard. f
Pellucid Pete-What fur? 5
Sandy Pikes Why, dls paper says
datt enuf soap has arrived in dat city
to supply 150,000 people fur a year.
Willing to Oblige. V
Jaggs I'll bet you the drinks that i;
am right t
Waggs Well, I'd take you up on that,!
but I don't drink. F
Jaggs Oh, that will be all right WlnJ,
or lose, I'll drink for you.
And Now They Are Strangers.
Clara That handsome young stran-f
ger seems to have taken quite a fancy
Maude Yes, but 1 can't imagine why,
Clara Nor can I.
Maude You mean thing, how dare
AndShe Used Smokeless Powder.
He That's a peculiar ring that you;
are wearing. Has It a history? .
She Yes, It's a war relic.
He Indeed! Tell me about It, pray.f
She Oh, there isn't much to tell. I
won it in my first engagement.
The Motor Villa. '
"We have retired now, John. Wake
ns at Bournemouth to-morrow morning.
at 7, John." -
"And remember the hot rolls and new -
milk for the children." Cycling. ;
Give and Take. f
Tess Jack stole a kiss from me last
Jess The ideal What did you do
about it? ;"
Tess Nothing. He made restitution
the very next minute. Philadelphia ,
Press. r i
Too Foil of Wrath.
Photographer Look Just a little i
Stranger (sitting for his photograph);
I I don't want to look any pleasanter.;.
I'm ablegate to the anti-trust confer-,
ence. Chicago Tribune. r
Queer Ways of Authors.
"Mr. Flambeaux, have you any spe-f
clal methods in writing your novels?";
"Yes, I generally try to begin at tlw ..
Degmnmg ana wina up at uie enu. s
Indianapolis Journal. s f
A Base Deception. I
Criminal lawyer I was deceived In
regard to that man whom I defended,
on a charge of embezzling half a mill-;;
ion. V I
Friend You found he was guilty?
Lawyer No, confound it! He wa
innocent and didn't have a cent to paj
me. New York Journal.
Spellbound. - - f
Ned 1 wonder if It amazes a girlk
when a fellow catches her under the
mistletoe? - , i
Ted It must; she always seems to b;
rooted to the spot Town Topics, f
Molasses a. Pig Feed. r
Pigs fed one-half barley and one-halt '
molasses feed made moderate gains,
but not as great as when fed grainy
alone. Molasses feed consists of one-f
half beet molasses, three-eighths wheat ;
bran and one-half palm nut meaL Tbej
pork produced by the molasses feed -
was not as solid and of as high quality
as that made on grain alone, wneu j
corn and molasses feed, however, were..
compared, the results were reversed, f
On the whole, experimenters conclude
that the addition of molasses to coraj
tends to improve the quality of the
pork, and that the gain Is made mort
cheaply when grain Is used by Itself. J
In the Southern States and in region j
where beet sugar is produced, molasse
food can probably be utilized to advant-1
age. Orange Judd Farmer. f
A Truthful Lover.
The Daughter But papa, he says 6.
cannot live without me. I
Fapa (dryly) I guess he's right-!
The old sea-dogs we read so n: ucli
about are probably msst-stiila.