NORTHWEST NEWS. The Immediate Future of PaciBc Coast Seaport Towns Appear Particularly Bright. In an article entitled,,' "Possibilities of the Pacific," Bonds and Mortgages, published in Chicago, ioke as follows: There is no section of the prosperous Went which is attracting the eyes of the financial world more at present than the cities of the Pacific coatst. The vant and rapidly growing trade of the Orient and the tropics, the gold discov eries in Alaska, the growth of Australia and New Zealand, the opening np of the vast steppes of Russia and of the great Chinese empire, all bespeak com mercial and financial opportunities un paralleled in the history of the coun tiy. The scene of the future human drama hat been shifted to the Pacific coast. Two-thirds of the world's popu lation awaits us at our Western gates, separated from us only by a great ocean highway, free from the possibilities of toll or monopoly, and affording every accommodation necessary for the trans action of an enormous volume of new business. Already American commerce with the islands and countries of the Pacific shows a greater gain in tho year 1809 than that with any other part of the world. Our total exports increased 120,000,000, and our exports to Asia and Oceania alone Increased over $iw, 000.000: our total imports increased $164,000,000, and $48,000,000 of thii increase was from Asia and Oceania Exports to Asia and Oceania increased 27 per cent, while imports from that part of the world Increased 40 per cenr With these interesting and instructive figures before us, the immediate future . of the Pacific coast seaport towns ap pears particular bright. The greatest activity prevails in the younger and more progressive cities of the North west, with Seattle, Portland and Ta coma eagerly vying with each other for commercial supremacy. The heavy in vestments made during the past year by Eastern capitalists in this section reflect the fullest realization of exist ing conditions by the far-sighted invest ing olass. The Pacifio Northwest is just emerging out of the hoar of dawn to bathe in the most brilliant rays of prosperity which ever shown oon any country. Fruit Cannery. The farmers of Eagle valley, Or., are about to erect a fruit cannery. At a meeting held at the schoolhouse at that place the farmers of the valley sub scribed $3,000 for the purpose. The total cost of tho plant will be about $5,000, and, as this is the first meeting held, .the farmers are confident that no trouble will be met with in raising the full amount. The establishment of the cannery will be of much benefit to Baker City, as well as to the farmers of the valley, where a large amount of fruit is raised annually. The cannery will be conducted on the co-operative plan, and it is the intention to take all the fruit offered by the farmers. Much of the product will find a market in liaknr City, as the home consumption is large and is steadily increasing. Dei Chutes to Be CtllUed. A company has been organized to take water out of the Deschutes at a point near the Three Sisters known as Lava island,' and conduct the water to the desert lying east of the river. The point of diversion is said to be one of the best on the river owing to the ab seni-9 of rooky bluffs. From this point water will be taken east to the old river bed, 15 miles, covering large , tracts of excellent farming lands. Northwest Notes. I A new Methodist Episcopal church is to be erected at Cottgae Grove, Or., to cost $3,000. Washington papers are saying com plimeutary things about Harry Yoe mons, of Spokane, who helped Harvard win the intercollegiate debate from Yale. Blodgett & Greenbauin have begun work to double the capacity of their fertilizer plunt at Falrhaven, Wash., aud hope this season to handle all the refuse of the fish caunerius in their vicinity. Tho sacriligious pastor of a Baptist church at Albany, Or., took the follow ing for his subject Sunday evening, "Would Jesus Vote the Republican or Democratic Ticket?" The vice of Sheldonism is spreading. A Bellingham bay man, named Can field, has a big lied of pansies planted, and will attempt to raise them for seed. The only pansy seed product in the West is in California, and the best varieties come from France and Bel glum. If he raises as good seed as he planted. Mr. Canfleld will get $30 a pound for it. A large number of Washington's shingle mills, probbaly 75 per cent, are observing an agreement for a short shutdown. The reason given therefore is that "the backward spring in the East has caused a falling off in orders. which makes a curtailing of the supply lieoossary to the equilibrium of prices The Eastern buyer may think this is tho actiou of a trust, but, of course, it Isn't. The bulb farms at Fort Bellingham, Wash., are now at their handsomest. One man has a vast number of tulipi and 3,500 hyacinths in bloom. A Wallowa man has brought back from New Orleans a live alligator eight iuchos in length. A carload of Casoara bark was shipped from Corvallis, Or. Its destination is Hamburg, Germany. The 3-year old daughter of She) iff Holder, of Sherman county, Or., was playing with a kite and matches, last week, when she set her clothing afire and was considerably burned. She is expected to recover, with little dis figurement. E. C. B. Taylor, an old and respected citizen of Lewis county, Wash., is dead, near Toledo. He was a member of the O. A. K. and a pioneer of that part of Washington. By a voto of 44 to 80, the property owners of Lakeview have deeluml to bond the town for flO.OOO for a water system and electrio licbt plant. It is expected the improvements will be completed by November 1 . The Bank of Ontario, Or., announces that it will take advantage of the new national banking Jaws, and organixe ft national bank. SPRING TRADE SITUATION. Favorable Weather Brings an Improved Retail Distribution. RrftdHtreet's save: Favorable features continue in the majority in the general trade situation. The hopes for the ad vent for seasonable spring weather have been realized, and nearly all mar kets report an improved dl.jributlon at retail This, as explained nereiuiure, is really the key of the general mer chandise situation. The industrial sit uation is a rather spotted one. April 1, instead of May 1, seems to have been fixed upon as a date for presenting new dnmands as to waaes and hours. Wheat crop advices are on the whole fuvnmlilo except from the Central West. Svmpathy is shown with corn, which in turn has been influenced by tho steady advance in hog products and by the known smallness of reserves in cribs and in store. Cotton goods are seasonably quiet at first hands, but a fair jobbing business is doing, and retail distribution is en couraging. Wool is on the whole weaker, but reports from the woolen goods branch are quite favorable. Cancellations reported are the smaller there is record of. Lumber has show. some" weakness, a widely separated market this week pointing to not alto sether satisfactory outlook in the build- tug trades, whether because of heavy advances in prices or ot unseuiea la bor conditions. Wheat (including flour) shipments for the week aggregate 8,864,963 bush Is. against 2.962,349 last week. Business failures in the United States for tho week number 182, at compared with 178 last week. For the first auarter of the year, failures are fewer in number than in 1899, and liabilities are 7 per cent smaller. PACIFIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Market. Onions, new, $2.00 8. 75 per sack. Lettuce, hot house, 45c per do. Potatoes, new, $17 18. Beets, per sack, 75 85c. Turnips, per sack, 60c. Carrots, per sack, 75c. Parsnips, per sack, 75 85c. Cauliflower, 75c$l per dozen. Cabbage, native and California, $1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds. Apples, $1.251.50 per box. Prunes. 60c per box. Butter Creamery, 25o per pound; dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 17o per pound Eggs1516o. Cheese Native, 15o. Poultry 13 14c; dressed, 1416c; spring. $5. Hay puget Sound tiraotny, $is.uu; choice Eastern Washington timothy," $18.00(319.00 Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $33; feed meal, $23. Barley Rolled or ground, per ton, 120: Flonr Patent, per barrel, $3.25; blended straights, $3.00; California, $3.25; buckwheat flour, $0.00; gra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour. 3.00; rye flour, S3.B04.UO. Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00; shorts, per ton, $14.00. Feed Chopped feed, iflB.UU per ion; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton. $30.00. Fresh Meats Choice dressed peel steers. 748o; cows, 7c; mutton 8c; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 80 10c. Hams Large, 13c; small, 13i; breakfast bacon, 13c; dry salt sides, 8c. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 64 55c; Valley, 64c; Bluestem, 67-c per bushel, Flour Best grades, S8.00; graham, $3.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 85 36c; choice eray. 84o per bushel. Barley Feed barley, sugi4.ou; brewing. $17.0017.60 per ton. MillBtuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $9 10; clover, $7 7.50; Oregon wild hay, $07 per ton. Butter Fanoy creamery, 4U4oo; seconds, 40c; dairy, 80376c; store, 25 32 Mo. Eggs 1 1 o per dozen. Cheese Oregon full cream, 13 Yonna America. 14c; new cheese 10 per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, ifa.uua 4.50 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs, $2.603.50; geese, $6.508.00 forold; $4.606.5Q; ducks, $5.500.00 per dozen; turkeys, live, 10llo per pound. Potatoes 40 500 per sack; sweets, 82io per pound. Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 7oo; per sack; garlio, 7o per pound; cab le, 1)40 per pound; parsnips, 75; onions, $2.503.00; carrots, 50o. Hops 8 80 per pound " Wool Valley, 1618o per pound; Eastern Oregon, 1015o; mohair, 27 30o per pound. Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers and ewes, 4io; dressed mutton, 7 7 Wo pr pound; lambs, $2.60 each, llogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00; light and feeders, $4.50; dressed, $5.006.60 per 100 pounds. Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.50; cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 64 74 0 per pound. Veal Large, 6s7o; small, 8 8o per pound. Tallow 5 5c; No. 8 and grease, 8)4 4c per pound. Ban Franeiseo Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 18 15c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; al ley, 2022c; Northern, 10 120. Hops 1899 crop, 11(3130 per pound. Butter Fancy creamery 17o; do seconds, 1616c; fancy dairy, 16c: do seconds, 1315o per pound. Eggs Store, 14o; fancy ranch, 16 W Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00 20.00; bran, $18.60 13.50. Hay Wheat $6.60 9.60; wheat and oat If fl. 00(3 9.00; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.00(36.60 per ton; straw, 2640o per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 75c; Ore gon Burbanks, 60o$1.00; river Bur banks, 40 70c; Salinas Burbanks, 80c 1. 10 per sack. Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia, $2.76 3.85; Mexican limes, $4.00 6.00; California lemons 75c$1.60; do choice $1.75 3.00 per box. Tropic! Fruits Bananas, $1.60 9.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 66 So per pound. SUSAN B. ANTHONY. "GRAND OLD WOMAN" OF FE- MALE SUFFRAGE She Baa at the Blp Old Age of Eighty Years Retired from tbe Presidency of the National Woman' Suffrage As sociation. The career of Susan B. Anthony, who has retired from the presidency of the National Woman's Suffrage Associa tion, and to whom, in honor of her eightieth birthday, a grand reception was tendered In Washington, has been a remarkable one. sue maae ner nrsi speech In public In 1840, at Canajobarle, N. Y., where she was teaching In the academy. Her subject was the rela tion of women to temperance. Two years later, at Rochester, N. Y., whither her family bad moved, she first became Interested in tbe anti-slavery agitation. Before 1851 bad ended she had made the acquaintance of Garrison, Phillips, Greeley, Pillsbury, Douglass. Stephen and Abby Foster, Lucy Stone and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, all believ ers In woman's right to the franchise, and she became enthusiastic In tbe cause. She attended her first woman's rights convention In Syracuse in 1852. Lucretla Mott was elected President and Miss Anthony was made Secretary. From that date to the present she has attended from one to a dozen conven tions every year, and never has been out of office. For several years she worked, might and main, in tbe temperance cause, but indignant at being "snubbed and Insult ed" by the men's conventions, and "dls- gusted with the subserviency of worn en," she resolved to devote her life to the emancipation of her sex. From this decision she never has swerved, except during those years when she labored for the freedom of the negroes. She has been mobbed again and again, and often has held her ground when every man on the platform fled to a place of safety. Her Great Labor. At the present time it is difficult to conceive the ridicule and contempt heaped on tbe pioneers In this move ment; nor did It come from men alone. When Susan B. Anthony tramped from door to doer with petitions praying the Legislature to enact laws which would permit a woman to own property and control tho wages she earned, and would take from fathers the power to will away their children, it was women who slammed the door in her race, tell ing her they had all the rights tbey wanted. In the winter of 1855, one of the coldest and snowiest on record, she canvassed the whole State of New York In the interest of those petitions and also one asking for the franchise, going from village to village, from schoolhouse to schoolhouse, most or the distance in a sleigh, with not a home open to her, not a dollar sub scribed toward ber expenses. It was an unheard-of thing for a woman to do, yet not only one but many winters did she make this canvass, and after ten years of effort on the part of herself and a few associates the Legislature began to yield. Undaunted by abuse, slander and threats of violence, and strong In their sense of justice, Susan B. Anthony and a few companions went steadily for ward, blazing the way which Is now bo smooth and flowery for the millions of women banded together in organl- latlons and holding their great puDllc meetings. Scores and scores of conven tlons, alone and almost unaided, she has originated and carried through to a successful conclusion, advertised them, hired the hall, secured the speak ers, and made herself responsible for the expenses. She has been always and is to-day the financial burden bear er of the suffrage organization, and can raise more money than anybody else- more than all the rest The first memorial ever sent to Con gress asking for the enfranchisement of women was prepared by Miss Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton In 1S67. They, with others, organized In 1S00, In New York City, the first Na tional Woman Suffrage Association. The same year the American Associa tion was organized In Cleveland. Twen ty years later the two consolidated. A. Head of the Association. Miss Anthony never could he per suaded to fill the office of President of the association when It was possible to persuade Mrs. Stanton to do so, but with that lady's family affairs In early days, and lecture engagements in later years, the former was acting president much of the time, aud from 1879 Vice President at large. In 1S02 Mrs. Stan ton, then 76 years ofd, begged that the gavel might be transferred to Miss An thouy. and tbe delegates yWlded to he; hike. But Miss Anthony does not relin quish tbe presidency to enter into a period of rest She means to complete the history of the woman suffrage movement in the United States. In 1876 she and Mrs. Stanton began writ ing the history of the movement and brought It down to 1884. During the last sixteen years there bas been more practical advance In the status of wom en than In all which preceded. Miss Anthony has preserved the necessary materials, and now, at 80 years of age. will begin at once tbe stupendous task of completing the story, bringing It down to the present year. SOME OF REYNARD'S TRICKS. He Sometime. Outwit tne iiouna When Pursued by Them. Not long ago the Washington hunt of Valley Forge started a young fox In the North valley hills, and toe hnnnrta were runnlntr It across the open fields when the hunters were surprised! to see a much larger fox come from the woods and run diagonally across the track of the young fox ahead of the hounds, and when they struck the stronger track of the bigger fox they took It up, young Raynard tnereoy oe- ing saved from being run uowu uuu killed by tbe bounds. Old hunters say they have frequently witnessed this trick when young foxes were being closely pressed and in dan ger of being run down and killed by the hounds.. Another ana an even sharper trick was played by an old fox some weeks ago while being hotly chased by hounds. The fox had run some twenty miles, and while crossing an open stretch of country was in dan iwinir run down and killed. In a field through which the fox was run nlng with the hounds close to its heels was the cellar of an old house, with a nortlon of the walls still standing. The fox made straight for the old cel lar, leaned into it and made its es cape through a narrow opening in the walls. The hounds, supposing tbe fox was trapped, dashed into the cellar pell mell. only to find Reynard gone and themselves in a trap, as the hole In the wall through which the fox had j escaped was too small to permit them to get through. - When the hunters rode up they found the pack in a trap, with one of the hounds wedged fast in the hole through which the fox had made its es- cane. liv the time tne nounas were gotten out of the cellar the fox was safe in Its hole. Philadelphia Times. He Engaged the Boy. Dr. McTavlsh of Edinburgh was something of a ventriloquist, and it be fell that be wanted a lad to assist in the surgery who must necessarily be Uf strong nerves. He received several applications, and when telling a lad what the duties were, in order to test his nerves, he would say, while pointing to a grin nine skeleton standing upright m a corner: "Part of your work would be to feed the skeleton there, and while you are here vou may as well have a try to do so." A few lads would consent to a trial, and received a basin of hot gruel and a spoon. While they were pouring a hot mass Into the skull the doctor would throw his voice so as to make it appear to proceed from the Jaws of the bony cus tomer, and gurgle out: "Gr-r-r-gr-h-uh! That's hot!" This was too much, and without ex ception the lads dropped the basin and bolted. The doctor began to despair of ever getting a suitable helpmate until a small boy came and was given the basin and spoon. After the first spoonful the skeleton appeared to say: "Gr-r-r-uh-r-hr! That's hot!" Shoveling in the scalding gruel as fast as ever, the boy rapped the skull and impatiently retorted: "Well, jlst blow on't, ye auld bony!" The doctor sat down on his chair and fairly roared, but when the laugh was over he engaged the lad on the spot London Tit-Bits. Did Not Doubt Him. "He says be would gladly lay the world at my feet," said the sentimental young woman. "That's what he'll do," said Miss Cayenne. "After you're married, he'll lay the world at yonr feet and compel you to walk on It because you can't af ford a cab," Washington Star. Potash In Orchard. Potash Is of great value In an orch ard. It Is the backbone of all fertilizers used by fruit growers. The trees where It Is used are vigorous and the fruit large In size, with a high color and good flavor. No manure which does not con tain a high percentage of potash should be used In an orchard. FROM A CAR WINDOW. I One Man Who WIH Not Throw Thlngo Ont Any Wore. The drummer sitting next to tbe win dow was about to throw Jila cigar stub oue when tbe drummer opposite put up a restraining band. Don't throw It out of the window, be said quietly, but with firmness. Wbr not? What's the difference 1 asked tbe other, somewhat annoyed by the tone of reproof appareut in the otl- er man's voice. "Listen, and I will tell you a story. said the older drummer, smiling In 11 kindly way that smoothed the others ruffled feelings. "When I was about your age, which I should say was twen ty-five years ago, I was accustomed 10 throw my cigar stubs out of tbe car window, but I bad an experience one time that made me change my custom. We were flying along through Ohio one day and I had the last seat In the last car of a day train between Columbus and Pittsburg. The car was crowded with men going to some kind of a Dig political meeting at Steubenville. and everybody was smoking. I was pufnug awav with the others, and when my cigar was smoked up 1 gave It oue final draw and tossed It far out or tne win dow. As It left my hand 1 noticed be airio Hie track below us a dozen men grouped around something or other 1 could not tell what An Instant later, apd when we were two or three hun dred yards away, there was a Hash and a muffled report and the group of woik- nien was scattered in every direction. The train was stopped and backed up. when we found that a keg of powder for blasting purposes, which they open ed and were distributing to each man. bad mysteriously exploded, blowing them In every direction. As It hap pened, nobody was killed, but all were more or less shocked, and I knew too well to say anything about It Innocent though I was, that It was my cigar stub that had by the merest chance dropped Into the keg and set the pow der off. I said nothing then or Tor years afterward about It, but two days Inter, to satisfy my suspicions, 1 visited the place, and In the branches of a tree al most overhanging the spot I found the remnants of a cigar stub, torn and pow der burnt, and I doubted it no longer. Count Tolstoi is again at work upon his Interminable revisions of the proofs of his "Resurrection." The American edition of this novel will be brought out before next autumn. It Is said that Beatrice ITarraden has already planned and sold her next story sold It as far as serial rights are con cerned. "The Fowler" has had a large sale both In Great Britain and in Amer ica. Mrs. Cralgie said she chose her pen name, "John uuver uoDDes, ror two reasons: "To correct any tendency to sentimentality in myself; and because I thought by choosing so harsh a name that no one would suspect a woman bad selected it." Great mystery has been made to sur round the appearance of Ibsen's latest drama, which was to be published sim ultaneously in Norwegian, German, English, French and Russian. Accord ing to his own. words, this play Is the last Ibsen Intends to write. What is said to tbe tbe first collection of short stories written In tbe English language by a Japanese will shortly be published under the title of "Jroka," being tales and folk-lore stories of old and new Japan by Adacbl Klnnosuke, who dwells near Glendale, Cal. . Some twenty German officers have contributed a chapter each on "The Franco-German War," which has been translated Into English and edited by Major General J. F. Maurice, C. B., and Capt Wilfred J. Long, and which the Macmlllan Company will publish im mediately. In Turin the Royal Academy of Sci ence has offered a prize of 30,000 francs ($0,000) for the best critical his tory ef Latin literature, which will be Issued between this and Dec. 31, 1900, All nationalities can take part In the competition. Only printed works and not manuscripts will be taken into con sideration. Kegnn Paul, the English publisher, who has just published a book of "Memories," is of the opinion that "lit erature is not in itself a profession." He Is sorry for the young author who "has nothing to fall back upon." Where in he disagrees with Sir Walter Besant who thinks that any one may make a good living out of letters. Tennyson, according to Mr. Paul, was "a thorough man of business, and our final parting at the end of one of our periods of agreement was that we as publishers and he as author took a different view of his pecuniary value." The passage is eloquent In more ways than one. To Kiep Glasses On. "Isn't It strange," said Mr. Burton, while in a reminiscent mood, "how dis coveries are made? Of course, that la a general statement but to tbe case In question. "I wear glasses, as you know, but I four ' grea' trouble In keeping them on. They were continually following the laws of gravitation and falling to the floor. The trouble was that 1 did not have a bridge of size, and I spent money and time experimenting with different kinds of springs and clasps and nose pieces, but all proved fail ures. Now, the other night I had an Idea (that's all right 1 am guilty of an idea once In a while) that if I would put some powdered rosin on my nose that would hold 'em for a while, so I ac cordingly hunted up my friend, the vio linist and, getting some rosin, made a test " as it a success? Why, I can turn a handspring backward and those glasses are still doing business at tbe old stand." Richmond Times. When reformers don't know what else to abuse, they attack the frying pan. Bigamy is simply an overissue of mat rimonial bonds. 0JJJ BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS Awu DO- INGS HERE AND Tntnfc. Jokes and Jokel.t. that Ar.6nppo.ed to Bav. Been Recently Born-oej and Doing, that Ar. Old, Cur ion. and Laughabl.-Tho W.ek'i Hnmor. Rinhbs-Henpeckke has bought his fnMInc ned. Slobbs-Yes; he told me ne iuou8u.. that was tbe only way ne tuum her up.-Phlladelpbia Record. Tn Mourning. Whnt! back again!" exclaimed the young housekeeper, "you can't expect s. An Xf me to give ru case evnj uij. vn ln-V reu ea tne poor ue&B"'- "I thotir 1 . -.yoe you nau au uj nf black clothes you mignt give ms-. Mo poor ole mother eat the cake you gev me yestid'y." Philadelphia tress. CLnnA Rnnnorh Reason. MAther I'm surprised at you! Couldn't you tell he was going to kiss vou? Dauzbter-Yes, ma, out mere fn.r mo tn tell except him, and be knew It already.-rhiladelphia Press. One Not Enough. She a man and his wife should be one; I wonder why they so seldom are? He Because It takes two to mane a quarrel. Where "G" Stand, for Love. "Can you love a man who's old?" "Yes. if he bas also one more letter to add to that." "Another letter?" "G. dear, to make old gold." Pick- Me-Up. Or Lose an Umbrella. Mrs. Stubb John, this paper says there is a place In Africa where it never raius. Mr. Stnbb Bv links, it would do a man good to live there a lifetime. Mrs. Stubb Why, John? Mr. Stubb Because he'd never see a rainy-day skirt, Maria. ADoroorlate Souvenir.. Ida What kind of souvenirs did that tear-produclng drama distribute? May Pocket handkerchiefs. A Reckless Suggestion. Mrs. Qui Vive Dear Mr. Surplice, I can't make up my mind what Lenten sacrifice will be the most acceptable. Mr. Surplice Ah! oh! well dear madame suppose you give up trying to run the church. Life. The Acme of Cynicism. Reuben Rallfence Hiram don't be lieve In nothln' sacred nor profane no more. He's a Infidel, a blasphemous InfideL Josh Emmalong That's right He don't even believe what the home paper says no more! Puck. Hitles. Hunter.. City sportsman Any game around here? Farmer Yes; the woods are full of It City sportsman I supposed It had been pretty well killed off by now. Farmer Oh, no. No one ever hunts around here but you city fellows. There Are Exceptions. "But my dear husband, it really is very unjust of you to abuse mothers- in-law so; there are good ones." "Well well, never mind; I haven't said anything against yours it's only mine I'm grumbling about" The Cig arette. Cover, a Multitude of Faults. "What made you suppose that old Crossgraln has dyspepsia?" "Why, 1 like to take a charitable view of everybody, and dyspepsia Is tbe best excuse I could think of for his disposi tion." Puck. Vpa and Downs. Doctor Do you know the effects of getting too much mercury in your sys tem? Denny-Yis, doctor, Oi d be a ther mometer. Slip of the Tongue. "What do you sell that ribbon for?" asked a young lady in a High street dry goods store. "Eight dollars a week oh, beg par don, 25 cents a yard, madam." Colum bus (Ohio) State Journal. No Escape from That. "A penny for your thoughts, Mar- Jorie." "Why, Harold, I can't you know," answered the diplomatic miss, "be cause this Is not lean year." Kansas City Star. Similar bnt Different. Mr. Nipp Is there any truth In the minor that jour affections are en gaged? oiis. rijpr ison. whatever. 1 am. uougb. A Gnmp of a Poet. Mrs. De Fashion What a gumn thai' Mr. Finemlnd, tbe great poet, Is! I Friend Is he? f Mrs. De Fashion Huh! At the grand reception I gave him 1 had the mottf beautiful flower. I could buy brought! in ana strewn in nis patn tor Dim to walk on, and, would you believe It, tbe I clown actually walked around the, : Just as if we hadn't money enough t . buy more. New York Weekly. j A. Fhe Understood It. f He This liquid air Is great! f She Yes; won't It be lovely when we can dip tip hot or cold air with a bucket; and pour it out of the window? la- dianapolls Journal. Willing to Be a Slave. Paul x'hls is what I've written, dear-; "The season draws rapidly to a close, and the poor slaves of fashion, released from the weary treadmill of society, with its hollow formalisms, Its empty shibboleths, may breathe a freer at mosphere." ' i Virginia Yes, Taul, that's splendid; and, O, how I wish you were writing from our own experience. The King. f. Give It a Wide Berth. f Sandy Pikes Strike Denver off our. vlsitln' list, pard. f Pellucid Pete-What fur? 5 Sandy Pikes Why, dls paper says datt enuf soap has arrived in dat city to supply 150,000 people fur a year. Willing to Oblige. V Jaggs I'll bet you the drinks that i; am right t Waggs Well, I'd take you up on that,! but I don't drink. F Jaggs Oh, that will be all right WlnJ, or lose, I'll drink for you. And Now They Are Strangers. Clara That handsome young stran-f ger seems to have taken quite a fancy 1 to you. Maude Yes, but 1 can't imagine why, Clara Nor can I. Maude You mean thing, how dare you! AndShe Used Smokeless Powder. He That's a peculiar ring that you; are wearing. Has It a history? . She Yes, It's a war relic. He Indeed! Tell me about It, pray.f She Oh, there isn't much to tell. I won it in my first engagement. '" The Motor Villa. ' 10 "John?" "Yesmum." "We have retired now, John. Wake ns at Bournemouth to-morrow morning. at 7, John." - "Yesmum." "And remember the hot rolls and new - milk for the children." Cycling. ; Give and Take. f Tess Jack stole a kiss from me last uiguu - Jess The ideal What did you do about it? ;" Tess Nothing. He made restitution the very next minute. Philadelphia , Press. r i Too Foil of Wrath. Photographer Look Just a little i pleasanter, please. Stranger (sitting for his photograph); I I don't want to look any pleasanter.;. I'm ablegate to the anti-trust confer-, ence. Chicago Tribune. r Queer Ways of Authors. "Mr. Flambeaux, have you any spe-f clal methods in writing your novels?"; "Yes, I generally try to begin at tlw .. Degmnmg ana wina up at uie enu. s Indianapolis Journal. s f A Base Deception. I Criminal lawyer I was deceived In regard to that man whom I defended, on a charge of embezzling half a mill-;; ion. V I Friend You found he was guilty? Lawyer No, confound it! He wa innocent and didn't have a cent to paj me. New York Journal. Spellbound. - - f Ned 1 wonder if It amazes a girlk when a fellow catches her under the mistletoe? - , i Ted It must; she always seems to b; rooted to the spot Town Topics, f Molasses a. Pig Feed. r Pigs fed one-half barley and one-halt ' molasses feed made moderate gains, but not as great as when fed grainy alone. Molasses feed consists of one-f half beet molasses, three-eighths wheat ; bran and one-half palm nut meaL Tbej pork produced by the molasses feed - was not as solid and of as high quality as that made on grain alone, wneu j corn and molasses feed, however, were.. compared, the results were reversed, f On the whole, experimenters conclude that the addition of molasses to coraj tends to improve the quality of the pork, and that the gain Is made mort cheaply when grain Is used by Itself. J In the Southern States and in region j where beet sugar is produced, molasse food can probably be utilized to advant-1 age. Orange Judd Farmer. f A Truthful Lover. The Daughter But papa, he says 6. cannot live without me. I Fapa (dryly) I guess he's right-! Life, I The old sea-dogs we read so n: ucli about are probably msst-stiila. J i 1