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About The Columbia register. (Houlton, Columbia County, Or.) 1904-1906 | View Entire Issue (April 14, 1905)
A lifers M'hcn the u.-rvcs ire ueak everything c jci wrong. You are tired alt the time, easily discoursed, ncrvout, and irritable. Your cheeks are Sarsaparilla pale and your blood Is thin. Your doctor aaya you are threatened with t oervous breakdown. He orders this grand old family medicine. m-M Ik M Hit I have m4 Aff1 itu Ih nf I .mil.. l u traaa M ati IIiiim a4 ...l-tfill m-dlMa l.r Im pmrt kimt "-l. C. Molt, Wmi lut.a. i'hi. IK tortile. fa Til CO. for Weak Nerves . op trio bowoia rouuior witn Ayor'a ViUa, Juat ono pill each night. Cophl DeOaiwi. A half ntnUat UiLi-Iur, wlik tulte a ) of rorka, , Dropped In, one day, lxliU tke way, aad bought a pair of aocka. Arr!v4 at home rmaullo Jj I be woa.l'rlngljr draw out atte lp hulJrn la tlie bo- from euute fair baud, no doubt I Tat twenty year ef tKn U read, "and ealUM a muutry blle. Wtlb you I'd like to currwpoud If yen will hrr tell. My object unlrliiioiiy It, and yeura, I hup, tbo earn. If yoa'll adJrrma me, I'll rraptnd." And tbeo ahe wrute brr name. Oa bVe with bape, the bachelor that Tery ew-ulnc WMto, And folJml bla eplaiie mlth a klaa loilJt tlie nut. Ely Oopld bad litin la bia tneab oe very e!rer eatcli. foe, after all, quite fuolUb la a half' efpeataut bach. But ok bow hwlli did bo feel when truui tlie fair unknown Xkh onawor came, to qimnrh hla flame: "An old ma id I have grown Alao twae forty yeara aso I planned that fund eiirprlM, Uetoated by a boarll.-aa wrettb who woulda't advert Uel" Mhouk for t lie l.awyee. A woll-kuon-n lawyer of tbla city, wkoeo ofllre la located clone to the .city ball, roielvctl a tivuiendoua ahock tbo other day. lie wna counwel for a uaa charged with larceny, and. aa the evldeoe waa coiidualve, be advised bis elleat to plead guilty, "Yea know tlut you have a bnd rec ord aad you have practically coiifecd your gnllt," said tbo lawyer In a aooth tng luasser, "and you will b sentenc ed to about Uiree years ta Jail." Tbla hat sentence completely dura foaadod the prisoner, but after be bad looked about bis cell for several niln . otoa k tarnod to bla attorney and in a very serlotu manner auld: "Will you kindly go out and get mo a good law ycrT As aooa as the lawyer recovered froia the shock bo told th prisoner be would argue the case for hlu. Phila delphia 1'rena. A Beaotirul Vol o me. Tht Bioat beautiful volunto In the CongreMlonal IJbrary at Waahlngton Is a lUble which was trsnacrlbed on parrhinent by a monk In the 10th cen tury. The ifeneral lettering la In the German text, encu letter la perfect, and there la not a scratch pr blot from lid to lid. Each chnpter Iteglus with a large Illuminated letter, In which la draws the figure of a saint some inci dent of whom the chapter telle. Ft rat l.llo Inaurance Tolloy. Tb brat life luHurance policy of which the details aro on record result ed la a lawault William Oybboua In aurod himself on June 15, 1583, for .18.1 against dying In twelve months. He did die on May 18 of the next year, end the dlaguated underwriters (the company ef those days) contested pay ment oa the plea that ho bad lived twelve months of twenty-eight days each. World's Work. Ore and Knot. Pennsylvania,' which makes more than half the Iroir uaed la the United States, produces less than 2 per cent of the Iron ore mined. Ohio, which comes next to Pennsylvania as an iron- maker, mines less than 1 per cent of tbo total In both cases the or Is brought to the fuel, and this Is tlie policy In this country. Only In Ala bama are the oro and fuel found to gether. Scientific American. . Joke Waa on Her. Member of congregation Do you know your sermon on coreteousnras last Sunday grievously offended and disgusted Brother Pnecr? 1 The Hev. K. Moffntt Lalghtly Aha! I shall have to tell my wife that It's s itood one on ber. She contended all the way homo from church that morn Ing that there wasn't a man ih the an dlence who had paid the allghtest at tentlon to the aertnon. - Taken at Hla Word. Mr. Newly We don't appreciate thing wa get for nothing. Everybody like the things best that cost the , most Mrs. Newly Then you must lov me a great deal, because I've heard you say that you paid very dearly for me, Detroit Free Tress. IUHII WHIKI U till tail. Ouuili armo, luM Uouit. Cl In lima. Soli hr tfmilta. CjaMilS - 1 " hi r1 r: n lllll lima aa i.T.vC;-S5, 11 ne-VTeuld you rather tt pretty or witty? the tirl Now York Bun. The ooal man should to brought to so the orror of hU wslghs. I'blladwl. phis Record. "Doe Mr. Ruben Haybrkk keep boardersr "lis tske 'cm. tut bo oa't keep "itt"-Chicago Chronicle. KMa Ho comes of good family, doesn't bof tella-'.Yes, bo'a tbo only this I know a galoot Tooloa. Jeknsy Ta, la tt wrong to aUal front tbo OMtloa bother you, cny rm. It'a , laipooalbio-Clereland ledger, Gourmaad (after a table d'hoto) Aayttilag elae, waiter? Walter Ono aoro pearb. air, and you'll 'are eat the ate u. London ltyaunder. Loy ain't no atcb thing oa gttUa' aiarrtwl U beoeen." "Conroodey al i't loa't do tilble tell you U'a a placo or worklngman livid aa well aa bla Amer peace en reetr AtlanU OonaUtutlon, t"an brother worklngman bU living Mra. Hattemon-I didn't ae. yu at tam would be aa great or great- tbo lecture on "Tbo Simple Life." lira. Cutteraoo Why, no; I bad no Idea it waa gotag to bo auch a awell affair. Krooktya Life. Wife It la ao kind of you to put oa my boota for uie. Kneeling Huaband (tugging away) It'e a a ploaaurt, aiy dear. RtlU, I'm gUd you're not a centipede. I'lck-MoUp. Miaa Klter-Cotild you uae anything in your noueeuom yepanmeni- ma weeai tjiuntry Mitor-ycit, wocouia haadU a couple of doxen of freb essa wotiy. .-sew lora nmea. . What roncluitton da that ram-' pa Urn orator reach in bla argument?" , "Lie aever arrive at a courlualou. He merely atop now and then to take breath." Waahlngton Star. Willie Teacher told ua today tlut fbere'a a certain kind o tree that growa out o' ruck a. I can't remeiuher what It waa. HI Pa It's a family tree, I gueaa. Philadelphia Ledger. Tbo Irlah ludy declared to the uag Utrate that the defendant bad atulun her hen. "How do you know It la your ben?" aaked the Jndge. "Know Itr cried tlie Irate lady. "I bit known that ken ever since It waa an egg." "lou probably don't remember me," be can the aolf-made man proudly, "but twenty years ago, when I wa a ' nu,Di'19 ',r mo mesiage to carry "lea. je." cried the busy man. "Where's the answer?" "You are the first one to whom hare shown this poem,' the young poet last went Mi l irti wooing the muse nuinufacturei accepte4 their for nljbt "Poorfel.owr rcpu1;rf ,t th. nu, (mA the editor, handing back the nianu- hin t.t aha ttictiHt vou " acrlpt It a too bad she rejected you. Chicago Journal. Hicks How do you happen to bo going fishing on Friday? I thoujht you believed Friday waa an unlucky day. Wicks Well. I always bave. But it occurred to me this morning that perbapa It would be unlucky for the fish. Soinervllla Journal Pro afraid you're not wise." said th fair girl "Why?" demanded th persistent suitor. "Because 'a word to tbe wlae Is sufficient,' and I have said Nor to you." "Yes, but I'm wise enough to know that a woman's 'No may eventually mean yea.'" Phlla- delphtk Preas. At the end of thirty years niram had accumulated a fortune. His wlfo nnd daughter were delighted. "For," wild they, with becoming moilesy, "we now not only have money rnouKrh to cut a splurge, but poor dear papa Is too broken down to appeur among the best people." Life. "It's so long since you last called upon me I was beginning to think you were forgetting me," said Miss Pechls, as she came down to the young man la the parlor. "I'm for getting you," replied the ardent youth, "and It's for getting you that I've called to-night Can I bave you?" Kennebec Journal. Tbe passenger who had been holding himself up by a strap sat down In a seat that bnd Just been vacated. "There Is plenty of room, ma'am," he said to the pudgy, little matron fitting next 'Don't move." "We don't have ho," ahe said, with a cheerful smile; we own tlie bouse we live iu." Chi cs go Tribune. "I tell ye what," asserted Old Mnu Splggeta, "thai there painter feller Is a fine artist" "What Impressed you about bis work?" Well, ther waa a pletur be called The Rainstorm.' an' ma8g of living prairie dogs. The cow I swan, it was that nafral that I boys were getting ready to drive the hadn't looiiea at n wree minutes do- fore my conn begin hurtln' me." Cleveland Leaner. "Prosperity?" said Dr. Sllgheem, the eminent surgeon. "Ihero la altogether too much prosperity! It Is killing busl- ness." "in wnat wnyr ssnea me other. "Why, sir, almost anybody can afford to have appendicitis nowa days. aud. in consequence, all of my best patldita regard It as too common, and refuse to have. It" Chicago Trlb. une, A gentleman who waa ln;the b.iblt of dining dally at a certain restaurant said to the waiter (an Irishman: "In- T..a nt Mnnins vou every day. Tnt wllf gIve'Vu Vour tip In a lump fi., on nf tha month." woM DUIU W w w - " you moina paying me in advance, Horrr "Well! that Is rather a straugs request However, If you are in want of some money now, here's balf a crown for you, but did you mistrust me?" "Oh, no, sorr, but I am leaving her to-morrow." . ( LIVINQ IN ENGLAND. It X Beellj Na Cheaper tkaa U TkU The accuracy of an official statement trad by United Statta Consul l!il- I"""! nin.ilojt.rn. Ib.t Urln, ' uo cheaper Jo England than In the ' T'nttnl RfatM harlrir tri nupatlonrd by ,0 authorities In this country, ftflt D-(j . eupp!einentary report on tbe aubject to the etau depart- swot. From tbla It appears that the original statement waa Used on U.o txporlenco of rcrUin Atnericsn tube woldoro working in tbo Birmingham district The statement caiued much surprise, aa It waa contrary to 11 mnfrarr (a thi general understanding. Ono newsps- uj waa not apprrciai'iy cueapr uiu la tbo Unltod jStateo thure waa no rea aao for protecting tbo blgbly ptld atMil oara that that liMti matter for blm to dMdo, Ho adda that thAt paper a proportion to lower the ocale of llrlng of tbo Amerlcnii worklngman bad better bo addreooed to tbo Amerl- can worklngman direct "I only atato a Very plain fart." aaya Mr. Halatend, "that If the Hngllab or than tbo living expenoea of ' tlie American. Purely tbero la nothing ob jectionable In elating a fact ao plain and ao canity verified. Everybody knowe that the American workman U, by comparison, highly paid. I can only atato tbo fact that the English workman cannot and dooa not live aa well aa tlie American. It la within rur knowledge that the maioritv of .i, ,j,t Tjnlle(j stitPm i:ieTe tIu,t urDg u mud, iuw abroad than at bomo, and it aeema to me Uiefcfore that I might weU aupplemcnt ih. otatement of thoae American work- men who, it muat be understood, bare lived hero a number of years, and knew tbo condition of tbo United Rtatea before they came here, and are therefore better quallfled to oxprena n opinion than tourists, whether they be Americana In EngUnd or English men In America, even if they are apo dal commissioners Investigating Liv ing conditions. "In the 'American factorle also, and in the factories where orders for American world contractors bave been executed, when our manufacturers bad mere work than they could attend to, there are often a number of Americana employed. Those in tlio better paid 'positions find their situations, on tha whole, comfortable and agreeable; yet Tactically all these, and nearly all other working Americans Llrlng bore whom I hare met, bave claimed that they did not find tlie cost of living, as I they bad expected It low. I "Many of the working Americans in England, including thono Americaniz ing lactone ana those seuing our i -y V r I lower; salaries uan uiey nai rooelTlna- at home. rxrnnnrf(v1 anil been receiving at botne, persuaded and believing that tbey were obtaining an increase because tbey would be able to live more cheaply than at home. In the lower wage grades tbe stay of the Imported American workman Is seldom ono of great duration. In ono factory where there were nearly fifty men a few years ago there la only one, a fore man, remaining. A few are still in Great Britain. Most of them returned to the United States. Tbey were, some 'of them told me, disappointed In find ing the coot of living higher than they anticipated." DAMMED BY PRAIRIE DOG&. Klver Choked Up In Texas by Mlgrra tlou of the Little Auimala. "The prairie dog migration from Oklahoma to southwestern Texas dur ing July, 1874, eclipsed anything of that sort witnessed by white men in this country," said Matt Duhr last week. "Millions of the frisky little barkers must bave boon in quest of new pastures or perhaps smelled that the approaching legions of homeseek era would surely exterminate the dogs and plow up the dog towns. "The prairie dog migration from the north to the southwest lasted six days, during the month of July, 1S74. The traveling 'dogs' while crossing the Red rlvr Interfered to a great ex tent with the cattle that came to that stream to quench their thirst Some cowboys that were on the banks of Red river during the time when the prairie dogs swam across say that the stream waa chockful of the little ras cals for many miles up and down the river. , "Tbe thirsty cattle were either un able or unwilling to stick their mouths int0- the water through the moving fttmiBninir stock to a distant atrenm. hit Ked riyer became clear of the repelling swimmers after blocking the useful drinking place for about a .week. It was generally supposed that the 'dogs' baited when they had reached the Btakcd plains of Texas. "There bave been some ecceutrlc cy clones In this country. One on the South Canadian In the year 1892 de- homed about sixty steers, but re- f rained from otherwise hurting the applicaUons; thocause must be removed beiore a cure can De eiiectea. i.s.s. animals. One cyclone between Still- has no equal as a remedy for Eczema; it enters the water and Council Creek, about eight (CS C CN (CN b,lood ud forces outthe poison through the natural years ago, played many fanUsUe'S Is channels, and builds up the entire system. The skm tricks. It pulled all the feathers out fcV VpJ tzJ becomes smc)th andsoft again, and the Eczema 13 1 of A. L, Onrrv's 118 chic .ntv f ' cured. Cases that have persistently refused to be after Uking the naked poultry through th. .t, for ahrmt ton miio. hIa Mw ava . w v-a hv "HVJVU , . . m a t a mem in tne roua. a coiorea man, who happened to come from Pawnee City shortly after, picked up over fifty of the naked chickens. lie concluded that the picked hens and roosters had been aent from heaven for hla special benefit" Kansas City Journal tOMt CURIOUS FINDS. Kmr Lea a Farse Waa UttM lasiee fatafe. A Scarborough gentleman was sur prised recently to Bud thirty-eight pni ?'" " " U"' people would bare been surprised, tvo, nnder toe elrcun.stances. There ought to bo s-coUtctlsn of miraculous eggs somewhere. It waa only two year ago sins a ben laid an egg at Bed ford wltb a penny in It Tbero la o m fct- but I. MJT 5ld P'U?7 et "r " qa" iMtf flctr11 ttlfL , , , . I at aari at at 4 m aa. ..1 Id A OV Jvau4J ul S jum... auv.uru a market gardener, well known at Spltalfield market who once lost and fen&d a half crows under almost In credible circumstances, ne wss in- pectlsg bis crops wben b dropped the half crews en the ground, and though be searched long and diligent ly, be searched is vsln. A year psssed aad the Incident waa being forgotten. wben, aa be waa aelcctlng seme pota toes for tb market Mr. Smith came acroia en ef a very curious shape. Cuttlsg it open t discover the cause of its eccentricity, the gardener found Inside it the half-crown piece be bad lost twelve month before. The po tato was seen by hundreds of people, aad the truth of the story is well vouched for. Remarkable aa tbey are, there la nothing unique in these cases. One of the romance of money-making is tb story of a man who found a news paper Inalde a shark when fishing In Australia In 1S70, and who learned the news of the Franco-German war In this way early enough to make a for tune out of It Tbe story msy be true or not; everybody In Australia knows it Another after the same kind Is that of the Mllford naven trawler which, while fishing off Carllngford Lough a year or two ago, caught op in the net a packet of papers, tied together with red tape and carefully sealed. The skipper of tbe boat banded the docu ment to a lawyer, and it wss found they were a missing link which stood between a woman and ber fortune. Tbey proved tbe right of a Miss Macdonald to certain estates in Ire- Land, which she bad claimed ten years before, but which she bad failed to win because the will could not be produced. It waa tbla will which was brought up from the sea. Pearson's Weekly. ' OrcQon Blood Purifier is rightly named, because it purifies the blood and tones up the body. Moscte In Tenaion. The Revue Scientlfique has been asking what muscles tire soonest, with tbe conclusion that It Is not tbe mus cles in use, but those under tension, al though doing no work! The writer urges us to use the arms and legs less and the back and neck more, for on I" """" i"" treawn us DBa teen asking men of all occupations .v 7, them conies the greatest strain. He the same questions When you have worked much, where do you feel tired? Before you were trained did fatigue show Itself In the same regions? AH the answers point to' the same conclusions. The baker who kneads dough all night complains of fatigue In bis legs. Tbe blacksmith Is tired, not' in bis arms and shoulders, but In bis back and loins. Tbe young soldier, after a march, is especially tired In the back of the neck, even If be has carried no knap sack. The oarsman who Is In perfect train ing aftr prolonged exercise gets tired In his calves and Insteps. These facts point to the conclusion that in any continued effort we should try to alter the habit of contraction. That Is to say, the body, like the mind, needs change of work. City Country Folks. Mrs. TJptnore IIow la your experi ment of living In the country succeed ing? Mrs. Uyems It Isn't so bad as you might expect It costs us more, of course, to have our butter and fresh vegetables brought out to us from thd city, but we don't have to entertain nearly as much company as we did in the city. Scottish American. .1, V'MJurr. Those afflicted with Eczema know more than can be told of the suffering fire. " It usually begins with a slight redness of the skin, which gradually spreads, followed by blisters and pustules discharging a thin, sticky fluid that dries and scales oil. leaving an inflamed surface, and at times the itch log and burning are almost unbearable. While any part of the body is liable to be attacked, the hands, feet, back, arms, face and legs are the parts most often afflicted. The cause of Eczema is a too acid condi tion of the blood. The cir culation becomes loaded with fiery, acid poisons that are forced tnrousrh the glands and pores of the skin which tht disease is in the blood it is a waste of time to try to cure it with local gSSSlTS-lSvSSSSS tcS .tte Wood B00 Skin Diseases and any advice wished, without charge, 71:1 sv:ft P U T.N A kVl FAD E L E S S DYES Color more good brlchter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c package colors silk, wool and cotloa equally wed and te runrantead to give perfect reMilts. Ask dealer, or we will send post paid at 10c a pU.agc Yniia fur iie booaiat bow to OV. blaacK and mJ colors. MONROE DRUG COv UoionvUle. Missouri. , , . , . , PE-RU-HA MEASURES UP TO THE It lip , m UNCLE SAM-"A High Standard b Required of Any Ca tarrh Remedy' That Has Been Endorsed by so Many Trust worthy and Prominent People.". ,t? ... t , , , , ? Time and Books. The economy of saving time Is wise, but there is an. economy of spending tics. In reading, especially, hurry is most wasteful Reading is the mak ing of thoughts, of ideas, of pictures in tbe brain. All young photographers know bow little is to be made out of an "under-exposed plate," but do they understand that there may be such a thin a as an under-exposed . brain? It takes time to make impressions on the I mind. If you read too fast either aloud or to yourself, or skim over yout reading, the mind receives poor im pressions or none at all St Nicholas. Ifotberawlll fln4 Mra. WlntloWa Soothing Syrup the best remedy to use tut their children 0 urln f in ueuung perioa. New Problem. "Gracious me!" exclaimed the lady. "These servant girl problems are Tery vexing." "What now?" asked ber husband. "Why, thst Russian girl I hired re fuses to wash my kimonos because they are Japanese," Piso'i Cnra W a rood conch Aiediclne. It haa cared conjrhs and colds for forty years, At araggisia, as cents. An Vnklnd Cot. ; "Isn't It queer," remarked ' Newpop, "that the baby immediately beeaiDM qniet th minute 1 bezaa to sing to him?" "Oh, there's nothing so very qneer abont it" rejoined Mrs. Newpop. "The poor little dear is evidently puzzled by the strange noise." j , Biatz or Ohio, Crrv or Tolkdo, I L'ca I'ororrv, Fbaxk J. 1'hbney makes oath that he It ten lor partner of the firmol K. J. Cheney A To., doing bu:-inea in the City of Toledo, Coun ty and tUate afo-eaid, and that paid firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every case of C atarrh that cannot be cured by the use of Hall's Catarbh Citbk. FRANK J. CUEKEY. Bworn to before me ai'd aubscribed in mr ) presence, this 6th day of Deoemher, A.T.,VA. A. VI. t.il.CAt-HI., i Notary mibUe. J REAL Hall'i Catarrh Cnre la taten internally, and acta directly on the blood and mucous aurfacei ! the tyitem. Send fT Wtirronialx, free. F. J. CHENEY 6 CO., Toledo, 0. Bold by Drtntirinta, 75. BaU'i Family Hlla are the best. , , Not Quite Satisfactory. Hicks I understand that you have had a telephone put in your house. Mrs. Wicks most find it a great convenience. Wicks Yes; but she doesn't like it half as well as she thought she would. You see, wben she is using it she baa to listen half tbe time. Somcrville Joupr- QlL oSl FLESH 5- imoosed bv this "flesh eczema made its appearanee on my left limb the size of my thumb in 1893, and spread until it was large as my hand, burning, itching and paining me, and for which I could get no relief, until see ing the other enres advertised by you I wrote and secured the advise of your physicians, commenced S. S. S. and it cured me, Mayctta, Kan. J. n. SPENOC set the flesh aflame. Since the cause of cpzciks co$ Atlanta ca snuiuAcn Matrimonial Blia. "Yon muft thiuk. I'm a foolf ex claimed the angry haaband. ; "I never would bav said so," calmly rejoined the other half of the combine. "hot since you have mentioned it I'm not going to perjure myself by denying it." - - G ASTORIA . . Tor Infants and Ciildrcn. Th Ki:3 Yea Kara tejs fo:gM X Boars the , Signature of Forgot It Not. "Take heed onto this solemn troth, Thns :ake the bestir, needy; "A bloomiu' chump was I in youth, ; And now I'm old aad seedy." Jt!9ssfsrf- USE IT! 3 M AH Signs Fall la s Dry Tims TUB SIGN Of THE FISH KSYKB FAILS S3f A. WET TDDS ; ' la ordering Totrert SUciera, '. a eoatomer wriuta: I kaew ' " they will be all right If tktt tke 'Fisa' aa tbtat. . Ibis eonfldenoe Is tbe out. ' - growth of sixty-nine jecxa of , eoreiul tuanulaolurisg. pighest Award Mi's Fair, 1901. A. J. TOWEU CO, rj Boston. U.S. A. 7E33 Tower Canadian Co. f 1CI sC; JJmitod Toronto, Canada oer efWturmttd Wtt Wnthtr Chtihg Clean Your Grain FOR SEED Th. . CHATHAM. FANNINQ MILL,, wh Sacking attachment will clean and grade ail kinds of Grain and Seeds. The only machine that has screens and riddles made especially for cleaning grain oa the Coast. ' To convince you that this Grain Cleaner is as represented I will tend you one on 30 days' free trial and will pay the freight ' s Write me for our Descriptive Cat alogue and "on time" proposition it will interest you. . : 1 : 4 1 " " f ; . GEO. roon Dept 11 Portland, Oregon P. M. U. No. 15-1905 H EN writ Ing- to advertisers please mention mia paper, yJhir HEALTH FESTCtiLH. fXrt " (am , fellh 1