The Columbia register., May 13, 1904, Image 6

!mCE PRESIDENTS WHO HAYE OECOME PRESIDENTS
Ayers
I n
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MARVELS Or ANIMAL INTELLIGENCE.
tr r. . c(Mrii. p.
Tbe aensatlon of London about the year 1700
was a "cats opera." conducted py.a jhxkcq enoe
maker named Blsset who had taught these crea
tures to play tune on tbe dulcimer as an accom
paniment to their own squalling. Ills greatest
success, however, was with a pig which was
jecn for two or three days by many persona of
espectablllty to spell without any apparent di
rection the names of those In the company; to
ui accounts; to point out words thought of by per
sons present; to tell exactly the hours, minutes, seconds;
to distinguish the married from the single," etc. While this
learned pig was performing In Dublin an armed rurtlan
broke Into the room, slew the animal with his sword, as
saulted Bisset himself, and so unnerred the unfortunate
animal trainer that be took to bis bed and died within a
few days.
A naturalist, who Is In charge of a fine museum assured
me that he had once seen a horse lu a field siete and work
with his teeth the handle of a pump In order to water some
thirsty cows which were lowing lamentably over the wa
terless trough! This naturalist had also seen a young bait
fledged sparrow which had fallen out of the nest helped
back by Its parents thus: They thrust a straw Into tbe
little derelict's beak and. selling themselves each end of
It, they flew up with the nestling above the nest, and then
dropped him gently Into It!
In a Flfeshire Tillage a sparrow had laid ber eggs and
balf reared her brood In a last year's swallow nest On
the return of the swallows the original owner and bulldet
tried to take possession of the nest with the help not of
Its mate only but of a number of other swallows. Their
combined efforts to dislodge the sparrow being vain, they
bold a council of war. which sentenced the usurper to
death. Not only the little band which had tried to storm
the nest but the whole flock of swallows fetched building
material and in a short time walled up tbe criminal and
ber brood to perish miserably.
In a nest In the corner of one of the windows .of a
bouse at Strathendry a brood of swallows was helf reared
when a young sportsman, disappointed In duck shooting.
fired at a flock of these birds and shot both the parents
of the nestlings. Fearing that the brood would perish of
starvation he was about to remove them from the nest and
try to rear them In the house, when be was amazed to
find the work of mercy taken out of hU bands by the rest
of the flock of swallows! Tlfey took It la turn to feed
the orphans till they were full fledged and able to provide
(or themselves!
COLLECTING FAD THE HEIGHT Of fOLLt.
By It. B, HmrrMUWrntaom.
It seems quite practicable to start a collec
tion In anything under the sun. The fancier has
nothing better to do than to take np tbe newest
Idea. I have known people to collect pipes, walk
ing sticks, hairpins, cats and matchboxes. The
art of collecting stamps not being found difficult
enough In Its original form, the fancy set to
work to make It more so. Some Ingenious per
son discovered that stamps bad different num
bers of perforations and were characterized by different let
ters, and finally that even whole blocks of thejn had vary
ing water marks. Conceive the delight of the brother
hood! It was now. possible to enlarge the art Stamp col
lectors could surmount hill after hill In their ascent to
wards the ideal and still find their goal remote and Inaccessible.
Once developed to this point there was no holding
philately back. Emporiums arose on all hands and bun
drcds of thousands of dollars were spent annually In the
cult. f
Coins have In some way a sort of excuse In themselves.
And collections of pictures also might be tolerated If col
lectors hung them on their walls and ttlmlred them. But
the man who buys the pictures to stack them In bis cel
lars has passed from the dignity of the connoisseur. It
Is the same with prints and Jewels. These things r -
uable; but they must needs be rendered Infinitely costly
and deadly uninteresting by the collector. The cult of first
editions Is a commercial matter In which tbe credulity and
folly of the collector make the market price. It Is not
sentiment that moves the collector of these things, for be
will exchange or sell his boasted IMckense or Scott for
other volume by other authors which he consider more
precious. II Is actuated wholly by this abominable mania.
Dealer know It and grin In their sleeves, so to apeak, and
batten on him until they, too, become Infected bj th dis
ease, and so th madness goes round.
The science of collecting is a colossal monument to th
folly of human nature. It is a well known fact that col
lectins dulls the moral facilities. I have known nhllatellita
play the most abominable tricks In what Is known as'
"swaps;" and It Is notorious that you cannot trust a china '
ornament to a china maniac. But the craze for china is
more or less decent In comparison with more unworthy
manias, such as that developed by tobacco manufacturer
In stimulating the collection of gaudy cigarette pictures
and demoralizing the youth of the laid. It 1 a pity om
one will not collect collector and dispose of them.
UNCONSCIOUS ASSIMILATION AND PLAGIARISM
tr Dr. r. C. Iter.
When two decades and more ago a Chicago
clergyman pleaded unconscious assimilation a
an answer to an allegation of plagiarism the
plea was sneered at as Involving an Impossibil
ity. Unconscious assimilation, however. Is an
ordinary mental process. Culture makes ordi
nary mental processes automatic In like manner
as training does walking. For this reason In
ordinary life, as well as to a less extent In Idiocy
and insanity, much Is unconsciously assimilated by th
mind that remains without direct association with th
daily life of the asslmllAtor.
Conan Doyle has been charged by a St Louts news
paper correspondent with plagiarism from Toe' 'Gold
Bug." Tbe allegation Is not supported by the citation,
which simply show a similarity In thought and expression
likely to occur to cryptographers. Similarities, however,
exist between Conan Doyle and Walter Scott and between
Conan Doyle and Toe which do not admit of this explana
tion. The smuggler scenes In "Mlcah Clark" and "Guy
Manner lug" are so nearly alike as to suggest the Influence
of Scott on Doyle. The mercenary warrior Saxon of
"Mlcah Clark," moreover, Is an undeniable replica of
Dugald Dalgetty of "A Legend of Montrose." In his case,
and particularly In tbe case of the smugglers, unconscious
assimilation Is out of the question, since the surroundings
of Saxon and the smugglers are altered and the phrase
ology Is likewise. This shows deliberation inconsistent
with unconscious assimilation, more especially as Doyle
has repudiated Scott's Influence upon him. Such deliber
ation Is still more evident In the Instance of Toe' "Pur
loined Letter" and Doyle' "Scandal in Bohemia." These
tales. Identical In plot and Incident, vary only In the fact
that Toe's woman, attacked by a diplomat with a com
promising letter, becomes Doyle's king attacked by an
actress with a compromising photograph. The methods
of Poe's Dopln and Doyle's Sherlock Holmes are Identical
The memory of Wycherley, the dramatist. In his later years,
was so enfeebled by Illness as to play him strange tricks.
He would read himself to sleep with Montaigne, Rocbefou
cald, and Racine. Next morning the thoughts of thes
authors would be written down with entire unconscious
ness as original. At other times Wycherley would repeat
word for word as new his previous compositions. Since
Doyle baa repudiated the Influence of Scott and Poe they
cannot bo employed to explain his similarities to these
authors, which are much greater than those that Master in
Chancery Sherman detected between "Cyrano de Bergerac"
and the "Merchant Prince of Cornvllle." Both Rostand'
production and the Merchant Trince. however, are based
on the career of the historic Cyrano de Bergernc, from
whose "Voyage to the Moon" Swift drew much of the satire
of "Gulliver's Travels."
LANDLUBBERS ON SHIPBOARD.
When the United States monitor
Arkansas anchored off Memphis on Its
trip up the Mississippi River a year
ago, a family father, mother and
seven children went on board the
queer steel vessel. The father, the
New York Sun says, held two of his
boys by the hands, and as they were
Ehown about by one of the appren
tice seamen be pointed out objects of
Interest
"That thar Is tbe turtle, Johnny," he
said, pointing to the big turret with
the twelve-Inch guns sticking out
"Goodness, paw!" said Johnny. "Jes
look what long front legs It's got!"
"They call hit a turtle, Jimmy,"
"paw" explained, "because It can turn
clean over on Its back an go after the
enemy all spraddled out I reckon."
At Paducah. Kentucky, a country
man boarded the Arkansas with a
knowing air. Ue walked round for
Borne time, going over the ship three
or four times, but looking mostly at
the fighting top. His eyes seemed fas
cinated by that part of the vessel, and
the seamen noticed that be looked ex
pectant, as if be thought something
was going to happen there. Finally
he turned to one of them.
"Pnrdner," said he, "when do they
call time nex'?"
The sailor did not understand him,
and said so.
"Hain't that the flghtin' top?" he
Inquired.
"Yes," replied tbe sailor.
"Wall." said the Kentucklan, "then
baln't you-all goin' to give us a few
rounds?"
"What do you mean?" the sailor
asked, supposing tbe visitor wanted
them to fire tbe big guns for bim.
"I mean I come on this here steam
boat to see a fight," said he, "en I
wanted to see bit I've heerd tell a
whole lot about the way you fellers
fight with the mitts on, an' I want to
see bit done. So I reckon as bow it's
about time you'all was a-givln' us a
few rounds."
Then the sailor understood. The
visitor thought the fighting top was
the ring where tbe ship's men boxed.
"What's this here thing?" asked a
boy, pointing to the winch used for
bolsting tbe boats. A seaman told him
what it was. .
"My stars!" he exclaimed. "Do you
lift tbe enemy's boats clean outen the
water so's to get a good aim at 'em?"
"Don't you have any ramrods to
them gun-barrels?" was the question
of another Kentucklan, as he Inspect
ed tbe big twelve-Inch guns.
One of the ship's jokers gravely told
bim that they pulled out the mainmast
when they needed a ramroad, and that
the last time they used it the gun went
off accidentally and blew the main
mast Into Posey County, Indiana,
which explained wby the ship bad no
mainmast then.
KEEP IN CONDITION.
Your Physical and Mental Equipment
Determine Your Snccea.
The real material with which you
build your career is in you. Your own
self is your greatest capital. The se
cret of your future achievement is lock
ed up In your brain, in your nerves,
in your muscles, in your ambition, in
your determination, and in your ideal.
Everything depends upon your physi
cal and mental condition, for that gov
erns your vitality, your vigor, and your
ability to do things. Tbe amount of
physical and mental force you are
able to use in your vocation will meas
ure your ultimate success, and what
ever lessens this force, or the effect
iveness of your achievement capital,
will cut down your usefulness in life
and your chances of success. Achieve
ment does not depend so much upon
the size of -the deposits you have in
the bank as upon the amount of capi
tal you have in yourself, the effective
ness with which you can use it, and
the power you can bring to your voca
tion. 'A man who is weakened by ill
health, or who has sapped his energy
by excessive use of tobacco or alcohol,
or in any other way, has small chance
for success when pitted against one
who is sound and vigorous in every
organ and faculty.
Nature is not' sentimental or merci
ful. If you violate ber law, you must
pay the penalty, though you sit on a
throne; king or beggar Is all tbe same
with ber. You cannot plead weakness
or handicap as an excuse for failure.
She demands that you be ever at the
top of your condition, that you always
do your best, and will accept no ex
cuse or apology.
weakness anywhere mars one's
whole career. It will rise up as a
ghost all through one's life-work, mor
tifying, condemning and convicting one
of past error. Every indiscretion or
vicious indulgence simply opens a leak
which drains off success capital.
Of what use Is great success capital,
of mental and physical equipment, if
you are not wise enough to manage
it to tbe best advantage, and to make
it last until your success is assured?
It Is sad to see a young man try to
win blgb place with a broken-down
constitution, or with his faculties balf
trained, and his success army com
pletely demoralized, his prospects ruin
ed by a shattered physique. The sad
dest thing of all Is that wise living
might have made fulfillment of ambi
tion possible, and enriched the world
with a noble, well-rounded life.
The great problem, then, which ev
ery one has to face, is how to gener
ate energy," how to conserve it and
how to keep oneself always at the top
of his condition. Success.
Philadelphia' Potato Patch.
An adaptation of the Pingree potato
patch Idea is said to have met with
success In Philadelphia., It Is In
charge of the "superintendent of va-
cant lot farming." His annual report
shows that the utilization of vacant
lots by partly disabled and decrepit
or by otherwise Idle people has
brought good returns. Over 3,000 peo
ple, including 140 orphan children,
were given employment on these va
cant lots last year and brought a re
turn of $200 on each quarter-acre
garden at a nominal expense of $5,000,
each dollar Invested In Instruction,
tools and seeds yielding a return of
from $5 to $7. The usual obstacle in
the way of success of this scheme um
been to find people who were willing
to make use of tbe opportunities of
fered. Pledze Might Hare Sived Him.
Socrates had just drained the hem
lock.
JOHN TTLKR,
'ANDREW JOHNSON.
MILLARD riLLWOR.
CUt ST I a A. ARTnUR,
Inasmuch a th presidential campaign of 1004 Is drawing near, with
President Roosevelt mentioned as the probable candidate of the Republican
party, It Is of Interest to not that hi nomination would mark tbe exorcising
of th seeming "hoodoo" that has In th past militated against those of our
chief executive who becam President by the death of tbe elected head of
the nation. Prior to President Roosevelt there have been four Vic Presi
dent elevated to the presidential chair by the demise of It Incumbent, th
four being John Tyler. Millard Fillmore, Audrew Johnson aud Chester A.
Arthur.
Mr. Tyler was elected Vice President In 1840 on the celebrated "Tippe
canoe and Tyler too" ticket and became President within little more than'
a month after the Inauguration of General William' Henry Harrison, who
ded (n Aprfi. 1841.
The Whigs again cam Into power with the elections of 1843, General
Zachary Taylor, of Indian and Mexican war fame, being elected Vice Presi
dent In July, 1850, President Taylor died, and Vie President Fillmore
was at one sworn Into offlc. forming a new cabinet, with Daniel Webster
as Secretary of State.
The third accidental President was Andrew Johnson, who attained th
presidency In 18CS when the assassin's bullet killed Abraham Lincoln. Presi
dent Johnson' tenure of office was marked by a succession of disputes be
tween the Chief Executive and Congress, the apex of dissension being
reached when he was Impeached for the removal from office of Secretary of
War Stanton, etc. The break between the President and Congress hinged
on the method to be followed In reconstructing th American Union.
Chester A. Arthur, who In 1SS0 was elected Vice President on the Re
publican ticket beaded by James A. Garfield, took the oath of office as Presi
dent of tbe United States Sept 20, 1881, the day after Mr. Garfield died at
Elberon, N. J., victim of Gulteau'a pistol. Mr. Arthur administration was
not marked by any event of momentous Importance, but was characterized by
his opposition to extravagance in appropriations, his views on this matter
leading him to veto the river and harbor bills o 1882.
Your doctor will tell you th:t
thin, pile, weak, nervous chil
dren become strong tnd veil
by taking Ayer'i Sirstparilli.
Small doses, for few days.
Sarsaparilla
The change is very prompt
and very marked. Ask your
doctor why it la. Hehaaour
formula and will explain.
"Wfc-, II ymrt 4, far bmi m
ttMVlkl I (MMI4 MM WmmI Ikia !.
Rat. la iMki, Ayr hmMiiMt mm
S44if rtr4 Nt baalta "
itka. R, RucaHiaaTia. Vla)a4,R. J.
II N t Vattla.
for'
1. . iTH
f.W.II. V) HI
The Children
Biliousness, constipation prevent r
cevery. Cur ths with Ayer's Pill.
RUSSIAN TROOPS AT MUKDEN.
One of the chief causes of tbe Russo-Japanese war was tbe refusal of
the Czar's Government to withdraw tbe Muscovite soldiery from Manchu
ria and especially from Mukden, tbe capital of that province. Instead of
taking these troops away, however, more have been constantly -shipped in
and added to the forces already present At one time Russia did make's
bluff at withdrawal, it is true, but eyewitnesses reported that tbe armies
which marched out a day or two later marched in at another gate. At fre
quent Intervals a few Slav regiments-sally forth from their quarters In Muk
den and parade through the streets to overawe the natives. Our illustration
hows one of these processions and also gives a graphic idea of the appear
ance of Ivan in uniform.
A TRANSPORTATION EXPERT.
William Barclay Paraona, of th Pan
ama Commission.
The most distinguished engineer on
the Panama Commission is William
Barclay Parsons. He won his spurs In
railroad work In
I
"How foolish I was," he exclaimed.
"I should have told them I swore off
at New Year's.
Bewailing his thoughtlessness, there
wns nothing left but to await the re
sultNew York Tribune.
Dense Population.
Asia contains more than balf of the
people of tbe world.
George Washington's reputation for
truthfulness may have been due to the
fact that h never traded horses.
China for a syndi
cate of which the
1... O.n.tn, ftalvln
J"j : S. Brice was the
j head, but is best
known as the de-
sV H alsnef of tbe sub
M "J wa7 ,n New York
-H city ror tne apiu.
f I Transit Commls
j slon, of which be
wii. b. pabsoks. has for several
years been the chief engineer. His
work in connection with the transpor
tation problem In New York to-day
the most difficult and complicated
transportation problem in tbe world
has been marked by a high order of
ability and zeal. lie may not have
shown much originality, but it was
not a field in which pioneering was
desired. He is now recognized as one
of tbe foremost transportation experts
In the world, as is witnessed by the
fact that be bas been chosen an ad
visory member of the royal (English)
commission which Is to Investigate and
report upon the passenger traffic prob
lem of London. Mr. Parsons is young
and energetic, and on the Isthmus will
find a field for original and construct
ive work of a blgber and more Interest
ing type than be bas as yet had to deal
with.
A Tbrllllnic Rescue.
An amusing story is told of an old
seaman on one of tbe United States
cruisers In tbe North Atlantic squad
ron. He was not a person of wide af
fections, but be bad a warm place in
his heart for a young ensign who had
been kind to bin; In many little ways
i One day a landsman fell from th
rigging to the water, and as he could
not swim be would have been drowned
but for a young officer who sprang In
after him and held him up till assist
ance came.
loiter the young officer received a
complimentary letter from tbe Secre
te rj of the Navy. Every one rejoiced
but the old seaman; be coveted the let
ter for bis ensign.
"That's a nice thing to bare, a letter
lik that," be said, a few days later.
"You ought to have one."
"I . don't quite see bow I can get
one," laughed the ensign.
"Well, see here," said the old man,
eagerly. "To-morrow night I'll be In
tbe main chains, fussing with some
thing or other, and I might fall In, and
you could Jump after me."
"That would be very good of you,"
said the ensign, gravely, "but you see
I'm not a good swimmer by. any
means."
"Ho! That's no matter," said the
old seaman. "I'll bold you up 'till tbe
hoot comes."
Her nift Pek
A respectabl old gentleman, tome
what tight, on entering an raalbua,
got his feet entangled in a lady's areas)
and fell headlong. II staggered to
bis feet, end looking round. Indignant
ly demanded who struck bim. A
gentleman present remarked sott voce:
"You fell over that lady' feet; nobody
truck you."
The Indignant citizen turned round
and surveyed the cause of th aecident
a moment, and then, as If by n saean
satisfied with tbe cause of bis mishap,
aid:
"Madame, you bav got th biggest
feet I ever sawr
"Sir!" responded th lady, flashing
with anger.
"Pray, don't apologise; It alat yur
fault, bnt tak my advice, alt sideways
In th future, and give them th full
rang of the bus."
Rntamttism la LtaR.
Frisco, Utah, May 2nd. There I a
great deal of rheumatism In this and
neighboring states and this painfvl dU
eas has crippled many a strong snan
and woman among an otherwise aaalthj
people.
Recently, however, there ha bee in
trod need into Utah a temedy (or Rheu
matism which bids fair to aUssp ant,
this awfully painful compla'.at. The
nam of this new remedy la Dodd'
Kidney Tills, and It has already
wrought tome wonderful enrea. Right
her in Frisco there Is a rase of a Mr.
Grace who had Rheumatism bad In
his feet that lie could hardly walk.
Ue tried many remedies in vaia but'
Dodd'a Kidney Pills cured him.
His wife says: "We both had Kid
ney Trouble and my husband had the
Rheumatism so bad that he could hard
ly walk. We used Dodd's Kldnej Pill
with much benefit. We hav tried
many remedies, but none have done n
so much good as Dodd's Kidney Pills."
Similar reports com from all ovvr
the state and It would seem as If Rheu
matism had at last been conquered.
Uncle Sam' Coffee mil.
It is estimated that the people of the
United States drink 1.500.000,000 gal
Ions of coffee In tbe course of a year,
at a cost of about 10 cents per gallon.
The Importing cost of the requisite
quantity of coffee berries for this sup
ply at 7 cents a pound, Is about $75,
000,000. From this It appears that
preparation, package, distribution and
dealers' profits make the prices to the
consumer about double the Inserting "
cost
Their Very first.
Real Estate Agent Yea really
ought to buy tbe house. Now, If yoa
and your wife will only discus th
matter thoroughly
Peckham-rQh,. that's out f the
question. We ' never discuss things.
Tbe most we enn ever do is dispute
about them. Philadelphia Press.
ABSOLUTE
SECURITY.
Genuine
.The Very Latest News.
"Your wife," began tbe. reporter,
"and tbe man with whom she eloped
have Just been caught in New York,
where they lost their money and were
stranded Just as they were starting for
Europe. We thought you'd want to
hear the news, and "
"That isn't the news," replied the
man. "The news is that I've sent
them enough money to see them
through." Philadelphia Press.
Then He Shows Himself.
Kwoter You can never Judge a man
by bis clothes.
Newitt Unless he's clothed In a lit
tle brief authority. It's easy to size
bim up then. Philadelphia Press.
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
Must Bear Signature of
5m Fac-SlmlU Wrapper Below.
Bis; Tunnel Progress 'n a;.
Nearly two-thirds of the twelve
miles of the Slmplon tunnel are now
completed.
Twt MaU muA aay
to take a rages.
FOR HEADACHE.
FOR DIZZINESS.
FOR BIUOUSRESS.
FOR TORPID LIVER.
FOR CONSTIPATION.
FOR SALLOW SKIN.
FOR THE COMPLEXION
Mc2! I lBrel7 Yaetlvb-i2
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
rv 13LM
1
CURES MIHI AU III! Milt. ,
OoaKh ifrup. TutM Oooi Ui
now bt arnnrnu.
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