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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 21, 1963)
D THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1903 MEDEOKD MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFOKD, OREGON Methodist Ministers Chuckle Over Irreverent Little Primer SEARCH FOR CITIES AMMAN, Jordan (UPI)-, Skin-diving American and Brit ish Biblical scholars will search the Dead Sea for the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah next month, the director of an tiquities announced Wednesday. Two years ago an American exploration team unsuccessfully, explored the area for two. months. , 5 By ROBERT M. ANDREWS United Press International sade to Raise Our Social Sta tus). . While most Methodists worry about increasing mem bership, he says, "the goal of CROSS is to increase class and status by decreasing mere vul gar bulk." . , CROSS'S most effective weap on is weeding out commoners in something called the "auto matic call computer." This gadget is fed pertinent data on each parishioner, in cluding ancestry, income, gram mar, tailoring, prep school, neighborhood and year and make of car. The computer, digesting this, produces a "visitation rating," which lets the pastor know whether he should make a house call or spend the after noon on the golf course. Undesirables soon drift away from sheer neglect. Tips For Pastors The pastor's performance is important, too, according to CROSS. He should be addressed as "Doctor" and not simply "R e v e r e n d," "Pastor," or "Brother." He should wear a clerical collar at all times, "not just when marrying much-photographed divorcees." His sermons should be sprin kled with such words as "ecu menicity" and "existential," and he should cultivate the right pronunciations. Rather than "Saint Pawl," for example, It should be "Ssssssnt- Pohll with a slightly bilious expression and a small explo sion of pear-shaped air." The class-conscious congrega tion wants its pastor to come out strong for racial and econ omic justice, but only in his sermons. "He will have better taste than to get himself in the papers or in jail for joining a slide-in at their favorite ski resort," says the author. Heavy emphasis on history and medieval chants are cer tain to clear the pews of old fashioned hangers-on. "In ex treme cases CROSS has recom mended the sung mass with in censeespecially during the hayfever season," he says. "Tricky architecture seems to discourage some of the so cially underdeveloped. One pas tor writes that he almost never has visitors now because they can't find the door, but another had the reverse experience, with scores of unwelcomes who thought it was a Howard John son's. "Chapters of UUA (Unfriend ly Ushers Anonymous) have helped some churches. Air-conditioned ones may want to try a cold shoulder club. A Trap pist group, who bind themselves not to speak to anybody for a year, often goes big with Meth odist men. Young people will love a NABOB chapter (Nation al Association to Better Our Beginnings) in which they wear crests on their" jackets, study heraldry and cut everyone dead." CROSS is-having a smashing year in 1963, reports Dr. Dela motte with a sly verbal wink. For one thing, "per capita in come is approaching Presbyter ian standards." Methodist ministers are chuckling this week over an ir reverent little primer, written by one of their own, on how to improve the social status of their churches. "You, too, can have a class church" is the tongue-in-cheek cry of its author, the Rev. Mr. Roy Delamotte, a Bible instruc tor at Paine College, Augusta, Ga. His hints for driving the lower classes out of the church appear in the current issue of Christian Advocate, a biweekly magazine for Methodist pastors and church leaders. Mr. Delamotte describes the imaginary work of CROSS (Cru PLANE PASSES TEST FT. BENNING, Ga. (UPD A new airplane designed to take off straight up passed its test flight "beautifully" at this infantry center Wednesday. Called the Hummingbird, the twin-jet, fixed-wing craft - left the ' ground vertically, hovered for a moment and then zoomed forward in normal flight. FEROCIOUS BOW WOW RENO, Nev. (UPI) - When a Reno patrolman sent his fe rocious police dog into a ware house to flush a suspected bur-' glar, out came a 7-year-old boyv who reported that the animal; playfully licked his face. "I told him to go away, and' he did," the youngster told the,, dismayed patrolman. MAROONED ACTRESS The rain in Spain sometimes gets pretty deep. Italian actress Claudia Cardmale finds herself ma rooned under a tree after waters flooded movie set last Sat urday. The rains held up shooting of "Circus World," in which Claudia and John Wayne star, .uri) Volunteers Sought By Salavtion Army For Holiday Work A call for volunteers to help in the various activities being claimed for Christmas work of the Salvation Army has been issued by Capt. Kenneth Angel, commanding officer of the Med' ford Corps. The Army's traditional Christ mas kettles will soon be receiv ing contributions on Medford 05C Campus Gets Aired at Hearing SALEM (UPI)-The Oregon State University campus got a going over ' Tuesday during testimony before the House Tax Committee. Chairman Richard Eymann, D-Marcola, cited the fourth floor microbiology department as a crowded tire trap, Rep. Cornelius Bateson, D Salem, said the department also con tained bacteria that could en danger the area If they were re leased through a disaster sucn as fire. Chancellor R. E. Lleuallen said the old building had to be used until construction of Cord ley Hall was completed. He said all possible safety precautions were being taken. Bateson questioned whether the new OSU library had an un necessary $200,000 "patio." Lieu alien replied it was a covered entranceway, and had made it possible to cut down on more expensive inside lobby space by giving students a protected area outside. He said at a little over $13 per square foot, it was "very inexpensive" compared to other college libraries. streets. These funds are used to provide Christmas dinners for an estimated 350 to 400 families and shut-ins In Med ford and vicinity, Capt. Angel said. Volunteers are needed for ringing Christmas bells at the kettle locations and for serving Christmas dinners. Alto Make Visits He sai volunteers would also be used to make visits and take remembrances to the sick and aged in homes and hospitals; to plan and conduct Christmas parties; to wrap gifts; to dis tribute toys to children and to work behind the scenes in the arrangement of toys for the Toy Shop, which will be located at 27 N. Grape St. The Medford Fire Department is collecting and repairing toys now. The American Red Cross and the Jackson County Wel fare Department are cooperat ing in the collection and clear ing names for baskets. The typing class at Crater High School is working on the appeal letters. The mailing lists have been typed by Mrs. Albert Aicwnorters, Mrs. k. h. van- Sickle, Mrs. Thelma Baker and Mrs. R. Hufteling. Mrs. Jack Gillespey has sup ervised the distribution of dolls to persons who are dressing them. Women of the Home Leagues also have dressed many dolls. Salvation Army officers have suggested that persons who wish to donate time to assisting In this special Christmas project telephone Mrs. Fred Mast 7V3 7335, Capt. Angel reported. DIET MARKETS NEW YORK (UPI)-One of every six Americans Is on some kind of a diet, which creates a huge market for dietetic foods and formulae, Evans Research and Development Corp. reports. THROWAWAY NEW YORK (UPI)-The av erage American family with two children throws out about 3,800 pounds of refuse each year around 10 pounds a day ac cording to researchers at In- Slnk-Erator Mfg, Co., a garbage disposal maker. V i ; J B i -v- -- f. BIG HUG AND SMILE American Actress Claire Bloom gets a big hug and smile from her four-year-old daughter, Anna, upon Miss Bloom's arrival at International Airport in New York City Tuesday. Miss Bloom, wife of actor Rod Steigcr, returned from Europe where she spent past few months making films in Ita'y. (UP!) 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