D
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1903
MEDEOKD MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFOKD, OREGON
Methodist Ministers Chuckle Over Irreverent Little Primer
SEARCH FOR CITIES
AMMAN, Jordan (UPI)-,
Skin-diving American and Brit
ish Biblical scholars will search
the Dead Sea for the ancient
cities of Sodom and Gomorrah
next month, the director of an
tiquities announced Wednesday.
Two years ago an American
exploration team unsuccessfully,
explored the area for two.
months. , 5
By ROBERT M. ANDREWS
United Press International
sade to Raise Our Social Sta
tus). . While most Methodists
worry about increasing mem
bership, he says, "the goal of
CROSS is to increase class and
status by decreasing mere vul
gar bulk." . ,
CROSS'S most effective weap
on is weeding out commoners
in something called the "auto
matic call computer."
This gadget is fed pertinent
data on each parishioner, in
cluding ancestry, income, gram
mar, tailoring, prep school,
neighborhood and year and
make of car.
The computer, digesting this,
produces a "visitation rating,"
which lets the pastor know
whether he should make a
house call or spend the after
noon on the golf course.
Undesirables soon drift away
from sheer neglect.
Tips For Pastors
The pastor's performance is
important, too, according to
CROSS. He should be addressed
as "Doctor" and not simply
"R e v e r e n d," "Pastor," or
"Brother." He should wear a
clerical collar at all times, "not
just when marrying much-photographed
divorcees."
His sermons should be sprin
kled with such words as "ecu
menicity" and "existential,"
and he should cultivate the
right pronunciations.
Rather than "Saint Pawl," for
example, It should be "Ssssssnt-
Pohll with a slightly bilious
expression and a small explo
sion of pear-shaped air."
The class-conscious congrega
tion wants its pastor to come
out strong for racial and econ
omic justice, but only in his
sermons. "He will have better
taste than to get himself in the
papers or in jail for joining
a slide-in at their favorite ski
resort," says the author.
Heavy emphasis on history
and medieval chants are cer
tain to clear the pews of old
fashioned hangers-on. "In ex
treme cases CROSS has recom
mended the sung mass with in
censeespecially during the
hayfever season," he says.
"Tricky architecture seems
to discourage some of the so
cially underdeveloped. One pas
tor writes that he almost never
has visitors now because they
can't find the door, but another
had the reverse experience,
with scores of unwelcomes who
thought it was a Howard John
son's. "Chapters of UUA (Unfriend
ly Ushers Anonymous) have
helped some churches. Air-conditioned
ones may want to try
a cold shoulder club. A Trap
pist group, who bind themselves
not to speak to anybody for a
year, often goes big with Meth
odist men. Young people will
love a NABOB chapter (Nation
al Association to Better Our
Beginnings) in which they wear
crests on their" jackets, study
heraldry and cut everyone
dead."
CROSS is-having a smashing
year in 1963, reports Dr. Dela
motte with a sly verbal wink.
For one thing, "per capita in
come is approaching Presbyter
ian standards."
Methodist ministers are
chuckling this week over an ir
reverent little primer, written
by one of their own, on how to
improve the social status of
their churches.
"You, too, can have a class
church" is the tongue-in-cheek
cry of its author, the Rev. Mr.
Roy Delamotte, a Bible instruc
tor at Paine College, Augusta,
Ga. His hints for driving the
lower classes out of the church
appear in the current issue of
Christian Advocate, a biweekly
magazine for Methodist pastors
and church leaders.
Mr. Delamotte describes the
imaginary work of CROSS (Cru
PLANE PASSES TEST
FT. BENNING, Ga. (UPD
A new airplane designed to
take off straight up passed its
test flight "beautifully" at this
infantry center Wednesday.
Called the Hummingbird, the
twin-jet, fixed-wing craft - left
the ' ground vertically, hovered
for a moment and then zoomed
forward in normal flight.
FEROCIOUS BOW WOW
RENO, Nev. (UPI) - When
a Reno patrolman sent his fe
rocious police dog into a ware
house to flush a suspected bur-'
glar, out came a 7-year-old boyv
who reported that the animal;
playfully licked his face.
"I told him to go away, and'
he did," the youngster told the,,
dismayed patrolman.
MAROONED ACTRESS The rain in Spain sometimes gets
pretty deep. Italian actress Claudia Cardmale finds herself ma
rooned under a tree after waters flooded movie set last Sat
urday. The rains held up shooting of "Circus World," in which
Claudia and John Wayne star, .uri)
Volunteers Sought
By Salavtion Army
For Holiday Work
A call for volunteers to help
in the various activities being
claimed for Christmas work of
the Salvation Army has been
issued by Capt. Kenneth Angel,
commanding officer of the Med'
ford Corps.
The Army's traditional Christ
mas kettles will soon be receiv
ing contributions on Medford
05C Campus Gets
Aired at Hearing
SALEM (UPI)-The Oregon
State University campus got a
going over ' Tuesday during
testimony before the House Tax
Committee.
Chairman Richard Eymann,
D-Marcola, cited the fourth
floor microbiology department
as a crowded tire trap, Rep.
Cornelius Bateson, D Salem,
said the department also con
tained bacteria that could en
danger the area If they were re
leased through a disaster sucn
as fire.
Chancellor R. E. Lleuallen
said the old building had to be
used until construction of Cord
ley Hall was completed. He said
all possible safety precautions
were being taken.
Bateson questioned whether
the new OSU library had an un
necessary $200,000 "patio." Lieu
alien replied it was a covered
entranceway, and had made it
possible to cut down on more
expensive inside lobby space by
giving students a protected area
outside.
He said at a little over $13
per square foot, it was "very
inexpensive" compared to other
college libraries.
streets. These funds are used
to provide Christmas dinners
for an estimated 350 to 400
families and shut-ins In Med
ford and vicinity, Capt. Angel
said.
Volunteers are needed for
ringing Christmas bells at the
kettle locations and for serving
Christmas dinners.
Alto Make Visits
He sai volunteers would also
be used to make visits and take
remembrances to the sick and
aged in homes and hospitals;
to plan and conduct Christmas
parties; to wrap gifts; to dis
tribute toys to children and to
work behind the scenes in the
arrangement of toys for the Toy
Shop, which will be located at
27 N. Grape St.
The Medford Fire Department
is collecting and repairing toys
now. The American Red Cross
and the Jackson County Wel
fare Department are cooperat
ing in the collection and clear
ing names for baskets.
The typing class at Crater
High School is working on the
appeal letters. The mailing lists
have been typed by Mrs. Albert
Aicwnorters, Mrs. k. h. van-
Sickle, Mrs. Thelma Baker and
Mrs. R. Hufteling.
Mrs. Jack Gillespey has sup
ervised the distribution of dolls
to persons who are dressing
them. Women of the Home
Leagues also have dressed many
dolls.
Salvation Army officers have
suggested that persons who
wish to donate time to assisting
In this special Christmas project
telephone Mrs. Fred Mast 7V3
7335, Capt. Angel reported.
DIET MARKETS
NEW YORK (UPI)-One of
every six Americans Is on some
kind of a diet, which creates a
huge market for dietetic foods
and formulae, Evans Research
and Development Corp. reports.
THROWAWAY
NEW YORK (UPI)-The av
erage American family with two
children throws out about 3,800
pounds of refuse each year
around 10 pounds a day ac
cording to researchers at In-
Slnk-Erator Mfg, Co., a garbage
disposal maker.
V i ; J
B i -v- -- f.
BIG HUG AND SMILE American Actress Claire Bloom gets
a big hug and smile from her four-year-old daughter, Anna,
upon Miss Bloom's arrival at International Airport in New York
City Tuesday. Miss Bloom, wife of actor Rod Steigcr, returned
from Europe where she spent past few months making films
in Ita'y. (UP!)
PIGGLY WIGGLY
Choice Tender T,-Bone and suc
culent vegetables by Stokely
,
lSTAMs
1 T-loiroe Sftecak
ljTAMIsJ IvTAMPbJ
PIGGLY WIGGLY
UrrAMP! IbtamVsI Wtamp?J
IPork
Tender, pink - meated
young pork . . . 3-lb.
average size.
KTAMPM
htampsJ
U.S. Choice or Swift Premium
T-Bone or Club Steaks . . . serve
steak and French fries for a
hearty dinner .
ISTAMPH
Nalley's tang VV
SAIL AID
f DRESSING
II Full Quart ' Regular 59c II
tPlu S & H Green Stampsr
f Grade A
I mum
II lLb 50,'d II
w. Plus SH Green Stamps r
IcmEtNl
Itam rn)
aMBHM
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium Full-Cut
Beef Rump Roast b 79c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium Bone-In
Beef Swiss Steak 79c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium Boneless
C Top Round Steak . 98c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium
Tender Cube Steak b 98c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium Boneless
Top Sirloin Steak $1.29
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium
Blade Pot Roast . 59c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium Arm Cut
Beef Pot Roast u, 69c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium
Boneless Chuck Roast 79c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium
Sirloin Tip Roast i 98c
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium
Boneless Beef Cubes b 79c,
U.S. Choice or Swift's Premium
Lean Ground Round ib. 79c
Center Cut
Lean Pork Chops 79c;
Kippered
Salmon Tips ib 79c:
White Satin
POWERED OR BROWN
I
,susaR;:
Mb.
pkg.
each
Sea Store Display for Mail-in Refund Offer
Alcoa Heavy Foil 59c
' Reg. 39c Baker's 7-oz. Angel Flake, 7-ot. Toasted or 8-oz.
Shredded Cocoanut 29c
Regular 69c Angel Flake
Baker's Coconut ...14-oz. package 49c
Schilling's
Pumpkin Pie Mix , v,0l. 25c
Schilling's
Black Pepper ..m 35c
Pennini
Mincemeat 26.0I.i.r 49c
Non-Alcoholic
Carnation Egg Nog 59c
Regulir 69c N.lley's
Potato Chips Triple p.k 59c
Sunshine
Krispy Crackers 1 -lb. package 29c
Sunshine
Barbecue Wafers ...10'i-oz. package 39c
Jar 89c .. . Mtad I Shoulders
Hair Shampoo ,ub. $1.00
Regular 69c Pal Stainless Steal
Injector Blades 5-blade packag. 59c
CLIPPER
Breaded Shrimp
Big 2-lb. Pkg.
Reaular $1.29
HILLS BROS.
Coffee
4
2 Ih. Tin 97c
1-b. Tin ZRIUI
Instant 10-ox. iar SI. 19
MADERA GIANT
Ripe Olives
2V
No. t Tall Tin
Regular 39c IUl
BRENTWOOD
Cottage Cheese
Pint Carton