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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (April 28, 1963)
This is National Baby Week, a good time to learn the benefits of the vitamin of love- GREATEST THING YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILD w 7 By MINER C. HILL, M.D. Mmtf and Diplomat. ArMfkan Acoaamy of Podiatf , as told to Adele Whitely Fletcher AS A pediatrician who has cared for . more than 8,000 families, I am convinced of two things : Environment is 10 times mure important than heredity. The vitamin of love which it my term for love, lovingly demonstrated it an essential to growth as orange juice or cod-liver oil. I remember years ago, when we were just com mencing to understand the desirability of loving contact, Bellevue Hospital in New York brought elderly men from other wards to the nursery and encouraged them to play with the babies. I am sure the benefits were twofold. Man needs loving from the cradle to the grave. I must add that, to evoke the happiest results, love must be expressed in terms which children can recognize readily and take pleasure and com fort in. - Unfortunately, love is not always manifested this way. For example, the baby of an apprehen sive mother, however much loved, is likely to ab sorb maternal tension and be fretty. He will re act anxiously to any new experience, even such a simple thing as being placed on a doctor's scale. In other words, the vitamin of love is a com bination of attitude and atmosphere. One of my favorite stories concerns a delight ful couple who came to my office with the six-tnonth-old baby they had just adopted. I have, of course, known many children who developed slowly. Nevertheless, I wondered whether this little fellow was going to be all right. His head was an odd shape; he was utterly lethargic. Yet the change in two months was dramatic. The head shape had improved, but, more impor - tantly, this baby exchanging coos with his moth er, laughing at the silly sounds his father amused him with had become more responsive than I thought possible. He had become responsive be cause he had had something to respond to. Today this boy, approaching his fourth birth day, is one of my most rewarding patients. His development physical, cerebral, and emotional has been inspiring. He is loved and knows it. What, mothers will ask, adds up to an ideal parent-child relationship? Ten simple things. in my opinion, every one of them a manifesta tion of the vitamin of love: 1. Children respond to play, happy voices, gay music, and laughter from infancy. 2. The more attention parents pay to chil dren's interests the better, whether it is a picture that a child has colored or a report about the new driver of the school bus. If a choice must be made between finishing the dishes or taking time to listen, leave the dishes rather than the child. 3. "Discipline by substitution" is a phrase to remember. It simply means distracting a child's attention from what he does wrong. In other words, get him interested in something else. This works better than any punishment, particularly with babies at the "grabby" stage. 4. Mealtimes should be happy occasions. 5. Bedtime prayers should be heard, followed by a good-night kiss. 6. At an early age there should be some reli gious training; parents and children should at tend church together. A district attorney told me: "In a family where parents play with the chil dren and hear their prayers at night, delinquency is very rare." 7. ' Mothers and fathers should be loving friends before they are disciplinarians. It is un kind to force a baby or young child to face up to fear alone. When a child is afraid of the dark, for example, I recommend that a small light be left in the room. When my children were small, I gave them flashlights and turned an exploration of our big barn into an adventure. When they were con vinced the dark was empty, not peopled with gob lins orother creatures, they took a giant step away from fear. 8. Parents should accept the fact that certain phases of growth present behavior problems. It is more constructive to understand these phases than to rage at them. Boys and girls from eight to ten, for instance, . tend to be self-centered, even domineering. I al ways advise that their attention be directed to ward others; that they be encouraged to take homework to the classmate who is ill or walk a dog for a neighbor. The more praise children re ceive the less likely they are to need punishment. I. In a good mother-child relationship, there is no place for "Mother-does-try-so-hard" feel ings. It is natural for children to do things which are disappointing to adults. They should not, however, be alarmed by a mother their source of strength who shows her own immaturity in whining complaints and tears. 10. Children respond to family life in which the adults show consideration and politeness; eventually they will imitate these virtues. I am not being sentimental when I say the vitamin of love is the greatest single thing we can give our children. Over and over, I have ob served that those who were blessed with the vitamin of love when they were young will mature into well-adjusted adults and will pass on this precious gift to their own children. COVER: You never know where veteran funnyman Bob Hope, now itarring in "Critic's Ckoict," trill turn up. One it wot Motcow where a riotous adventure ensued. Set page 9. JFamily WttesJkly WA1TH c eeivfui Mm rmHim tuck i. otouaxi iWihimii ,..,,. MORTON HANK Dirwlor ? 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