This is National Baby Week,
a good time to learn the benefits of the
vitamin of love- GREATEST
THING YOU CAN
GIVE YOUR CHILD
w 7
By MINER C. HILL, M.D.
Mmtf and Diplomat. ArMfkan Acoaamy of Podiatf ,
as told to
Adele Whitely Fletcher
AS A pediatrician who has cared for
. more than 8,000 families, I am
convinced of two things :
Environment is 10 times mure important than
heredity.
The vitamin of love which it my term for
love, lovingly demonstrated it an essential to
growth as orange juice or cod-liver oil.
I remember years ago, when we were just com
mencing to understand the desirability of loving
contact, Bellevue Hospital in New York brought
elderly men from other wards to the nursery and
encouraged them to play with the babies. I am
sure the benefits were twofold. Man needs loving
from the cradle to the grave.
I must add that, to evoke the happiest results,
love must be expressed in terms which children
can recognize readily and take pleasure and com
fort in. -
Unfortunately, love is not always manifested
this way. For example, the baby of an apprehen
sive mother, however much loved, is likely to ab
sorb maternal tension and be fretty. He will re
act anxiously to any new experience, even such
a simple thing as being placed on a doctor's scale.
In other words, the vitamin of love is a com
bination of attitude and atmosphere.
One of my favorite stories concerns a delight
ful couple who came to my office with the six-tnonth-old
baby they had just adopted. I have,
of course, known many children who developed
slowly. Nevertheless, I wondered whether this
little fellow was going to be all right. His head
was an odd shape; he was utterly lethargic.
Yet the change in two months was dramatic.
The head shape had improved, but, more impor
- tantly, this baby exchanging coos with his moth
er, laughing at the silly sounds his father amused
him with had become more responsive than I
thought possible. He had become responsive be
cause he had had something to respond to.
Today this boy, approaching his fourth birth
day, is one of my most rewarding patients. His
development physical, cerebral, and emotional
has been inspiring. He is loved and knows it.
What, mothers will ask, adds up to an ideal
parent-child relationship? Ten simple things.
in my opinion, every one of them a manifesta
tion of the vitamin of love:
1. Children respond to play, happy voices, gay
music, and laughter from infancy.
2. The more attention parents pay to chil
dren's interests the better, whether it is a picture
that a child has colored or a report about the new
driver of the school bus. If a choice must be made
between finishing the dishes or taking time to
listen, leave the dishes rather than the child.
3. "Discipline by substitution" is a phrase to
remember. It simply means distracting a child's
attention from what he does wrong. In other
words, get him interested in something else. This
works better than any punishment, particularly
with babies at the "grabby" stage.
4. Mealtimes should be happy occasions.
5. Bedtime prayers should be heard, followed
by a good-night kiss.
6. At an early age there should be some reli
gious training; parents and children should at
tend church together. A district attorney told me:
"In a family where parents play with the chil
dren and hear their prayers at night, delinquency
is very rare."
7. ' Mothers and fathers should be loving
friends before they are disciplinarians. It is un
kind to force a baby or young child to face up to
fear alone. When a child is afraid of the dark, for
example, I recommend that a small light be left
in the room. When my children were small, I gave
them flashlights and turned an exploration of our
big barn into an adventure. When they were con
vinced the dark was empty, not peopled with gob
lins orother creatures, they took a giant step
away from fear.
8. Parents should accept the fact that certain
phases of growth present behavior problems. It is
more constructive to understand these phases
than to rage at them.
Boys and girls from eight to ten, for instance, .
tend to be self-centered, even domineering. I al
ways advise that their attention be directed to
ward others; that they be encouraged to take
homework to the classmate who is ill or walk a
dog for a neighbor. The more praise children re
ceive the less likely they are to need punishment.
I. In a good mother-child relationship, there
is no place for "Mother-does-try-so-hard" feel
ings. It is natural for children to do things which
are disappointing to adults. They should not,
however, be alarmed by a mother their source
of strength who shows her own immaturity in
whining complaints and tears.
10. Children respond to family life in which
the adults show consideration and politeness;
eventually they will imitate these virtues.
I am not being sentimental when I say the
vitamin of love is the greatest single thing we
can give our children. Over and over, I have ob
served that those who were blessed with the
vitamin of love when they were young will mature
into well-adjusted adults and will pass on this
precious gift to their own children.
COVER:
You never know where veteran funnyman
Bob Hope, now itarring in "Critic's Ckoict,"
trill turn up. One it wot Motcow where
a riotous adventure ensued. Set page 9.
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