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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (May 30, 1962)
6 1 WEDNESDAY. MAY 30. 1962 MEDFOHD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFOHD. OREGON Lf Family REG. 39c PUSSE PRINTS 1 rWLr SPECIAL! SAVE 36 MEN'S SOCKS ! ! 1i rlj - 'I Council T uvi tu u.ee SURFERS FOR SUMMER I 99c 99 99c 99c 3 yds. pair gdllor-i note: Th Family Cnunrtl roiulill of a Juage. I nsvrhlalriiL thru clfrfymcn. three fdltnri and B wotnen't edttor. Kach article It a aummary of a family dltaireemenl preiented to the Council. The Council dealt wllh problem!, major and minor, . Mpnnnipr.d hv ruldinea roun- rlort and aoclal workcri. Edited by Mn, Alma Denny. (Copyright by General Feature! corp.) Mrt. B. Z. - He'i a brute but I haven't the heart to walk out. Mrt. G. G. -She's a nervous wreck and has a blood condi tion, too. She should leave him. Mrs. B. Z. - I don't want to break up my 25-year marriage If anything can be saved of It. 1 was 16 when I married Boyd and trouble began live months later when I refused to adopt a baby born to a girl Boyd's best friend had gotten In trouble. Hes Deen naieiui to me ever since. After five years we adopted a daughter who's now 20 and married. We also have our own children, a girl 17 and a boy 13. All these years I've been getting up at 6:30 to wait on Boyd. Th house Is clean, his clothes ar always ready, his meals are on time. Ri.i hp not onlv fails to an prcciate anything and take be out once In a while, but he also enjoys ruining any small pleasures I try to give myself. If I stay up to watch TV, he yells that I'm losing sleep. If I invite my friends over, he insults them. It I go li the movies alone, I tome home to find the kids in tears from his ranting. How long should I endure this? Mrt. G.G. - I'm the friend Mrs. Z. invites over. I've been her confident for 14 years. I'm the only friend who still calls on the Z.'s. Even my husband can't take Boyd's boorishness any more. Boyd has alienated everyone who'd like to be friendly. Mrs. Z. has taken more than any human being should be expected to suffer. For the past seven years she's been under doctor's care. I've seen her when she can hardly move her arms or fingers because they swell up so from a heart and blood condi tion. She's a nervous wreck from the turmoil Boyd creates with her and the children over bedtime, going out, en tertaining and other everyday matters. I feel as close to her as a sister and I know she doesn't have to put up with this In definitely. Her mother lives alone in a big house and she could take the children and move in there. But she still thinks Boyd will turn human. The Council: From a half dozen specific problems pre sented by MrsJZ., and verified by her friend, we have Isolat ed one the unbearable ten sion between husband and wife. This example Indicates the futility of hoping that time will dissolve deep per sonality defects. Mrs. Z. hn, given the stalemate almost 25 years of time. Yet the and Boyd must proceed as they should have done cleared the air during those early quarrels when she was 16. Now it's a thick wall of smog between them, with Boyd re treating to sleep, hcrmilism and spite, and his wife to ill ness, self pity and surrender. One of the signs of good mental health Is self assertion, plus a respect for the self as sertion of others. In that way, much benefit can result from marital spats. In fact, one psychologist claims that con flict in marriage is normal and that It's the avoidance of conflict that piles up disas ter. In avoiding the "havlng it out" sessions demanded by Boyd's highhandedness. Mrs. Z. has merely postponed the Inevitable through painful, wasted years. Perhaps that first quarrel, the one about taking an Illeg itimate baby into their home at a favor, might to have been taken to a wise mediator -a pastor, a social worker -miner than be snappishly ended by Mrs. Z.'s holier-than-thou refusal and Boyd's permanent sulking. At any rate, much genuine love can grow out of grave, "creative'' quarreling - the sort which isn't dead end -that is. always bogging down In name calling, weeping, re hashing of irrclevancics. Mrs. Z.'s salvalion will come from being able both to speak up and to listen to Boyd. At this stage she will need the en couragement of a marriage counselor to give her confi dence, as well as specific pro cedures It looks very much as though bodily ills are pro claiming the presence of hot-tled-up tensions which aren't released through talk and ac tion. Resentment muirt com out somewhere. If Mrs. Z. (tarts expressing hers, in a kind OamiRh steadfast .way. the physical symptoms may Wonderfully cool, crinkly cotton, No ironing. Many uses. Cj.. 33 inchei wide. 9 2 pair Tremendous value on drill sheers. Popular colors, iizei 9 to 11. Slock up now, tavel Top value in mines' sleek-fit surfer pants. Washable cotton stripes, plaids, 10-18. 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