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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (April 25, 1960)
MAIL TRIBUNE, Madford, Or. I Monday, April J3, I960 The Family Council Editor'! Notai Tha Family Council coniUti of Judft, i piychlatrlit, thraa cleravman, a oewipapar adltor. a women'a adltor and iwo wrlteri. Eacn artlcla If a luminary ol an actual ,aia history. Tha Council reporlj on problcma mat hava bien dealt wl k by raipomlbla aienclea and coumeiora. Myra B.-Belle should come live with me in the city. Bell F.-Sh can't under- itand a mother'! (eelingi. Myra B. -I am an unmar ried career woman in my 50s and I am trying to help my lister Belle who was widowed a little over a year ago. I visited Belle recently and was shocked at what I found. She is only two years older than I am, but looked at least ten years older. She takes no interest in her appearance, in any activities or, in fact, any thing except her grandchil dren. From what I saw her daughter-in-law is using her as a drudge. She visits her home every day, takes on a lot of the housework and looks after the children while her daughter- in-law gossips on the phone. This daughter-in-law shiftless and ungrate ful and does nothing to con tribute to Belle's happiness. I want Belle to sell her home and come live with me, but she is too attached to her son. Bella E Myra has never been a mother ana Just can't understand. Everything I do is for my son and I don't care for any gratitude from his wife. She is lazy and she'll never change, but as long as I'm around I know my son will have a hot dinner and a clean home. If I didn't know that I couldn't be happy. Myra should know by now that I'm Just a small-town woman. I enjoy a little visit to the city from time to time, but I'm always glad to come home. There's no place like it. Sometimes I'm tempted to sell my home because it's get ting too much to handle. My son and daughter-in-law would be perfectly willing for me to live with them, but I want to hang on to my indepen dence as long as possible. Myra means well, but we nev er could really understand one another's way of think ing. The Council. We think Myra is right to be alarmed about her sister's appearance and present way of living, but her pat solution isn't much good for Belle. It's always easy to solve other people's problems be cause we don't have to take their emotions and way of thinking into consideration. It's so much harder to solve our own because we can't dis miss our emotions and pat terns, nor would it necessar ily be good if we could. It is possible, however, to take a hard look at reality and make necessary adjust ments. In this way we expand and enrich our personalities. Belle has refused to see her real situation-that of widow and mature woman. She has forced herself into a false po sition in her son's home and is suffering because of it. Her emotions are involved with her son in a way that can bring no reasonable return. The satisfaction of knowing that her son is having his hot dinner really can't be enoufth. Surely, Belle must wonder what will happen when she is no longer around to provide it. No matter what good she is doing in her son's home, Belle is in the way and knows and feels it. This destroys her bit by bit. It will be hard to fight her way out of this pattern, but she should force herself. In her community Belie will find many possibilities for making herself useful and enjoying a larger life. She certainly shouldn't sell her home, but should consider renting a portion of it to a family. (Copyright I960, General Features Corp.) De Gaulle: Nikifa Won't Cause New Crisis in Berlin Washington - IUPD - Charles de Gaulle said Saturday ht sees no chance of solving the Berlin p r o b 1 m at next month's summit meeting - but that he does not believe Nl kita Khrushchev will fore a new crisis on the issua. The French president told a massive news conference at the National Press club that the Big Four leaders "above all" must grapple at Paris with the "crucial point" of relaxing general East - West tensions. "If we make some progress in this matter . . , gradually solutions to the problems that divide the world will begin to appear," he said, "solutions which no one (has) thought of proposing under the present circumstances." Prepares for Talks The 69 -year -old French leader, here for pre-summit talks with President Eisen hower, said this applied to disarmament, German prob lems, aid to underdeveloped countries and many other matters. De Gaulle said he consider ed it possible "from a practi cal point of view" to make a start on control of nuclear weapons and bases at the summit meeting in Paris May 14 of himself, Eisenhower, Khrushchev and British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan "As far as Berlin is con cerned, I do not see now possible solution," the French leader declared. 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