MAIL TRIBUNE, Madford, Or. I Monday, April J3, I960
The Family Council
Editor'! Notai Tha Family Council coniUti of Judft, i piychlatrlit,
thraa cleravman, a oewipapar adltor. a women'a adltor and iwo wrlteri.
Eacn artlcla If a luminary ol an actual ,aia history. Tha Council reporlj
on problcma mat hava bien dealt wl k by raipomlbla aienclea and
coumeiora.
Myra B.-Belle should come
live with me in the city.
Bell F.-Sh can't under-
itand a mother'! (eelingi.
Myra B. -I am an unmar
ried career woman in my 50s
and I am trying to help my
lister Belle who was widowed
a little over a year ago.
I visited Belle recently and
was shocked at what I found.
She is only two years older
than I am, but looked at least
ten years older. She takes no
interest in her appearance, in
any activities or, in fact, any
thing except her grandchil
dren. From what I saw her
daughter-in-law is using her
as a drudge. She visits her
home every day, takes on a
lot of the housework and
looks after the children while
her daughter- in-law gossips
on the phone. This daughter-in-law
shiftless and ungrate
ful and does nothing to con
tribute to Belle's happiness. I
want Belle to sell her home
and come live with me, but
she is too attached to her son.
Bella E Myra has never
been a mother ana Just can't
understand. Everything I do
is for my son and I don't care
for any gratitude from his
wife. She is lazy and she'll
never change, but as long as
I'm around I know my son
will have a hot dinner and a
clean home. If I didn't know
that I couldn't be happy.
Myra should know by now
that I'm Just a small-town
woman. I enjoy a little visit
to the city from time to time,
but I'm always glad to come
home. There's no place like
it.
Sometimes I'm tempted to
sell my home because it's get
ting too much to handle. My
son and daughter-in-law would
be perfectly willing for me to
live with them, but I want
to hang on to my indepen
dence as long as possible.
Myra means well, but we nev
er could really understand
one another's way of think
ing. The Council. We think
Myra is right to be alarmed
about her sister's appearance
and present way of living,
but her pat solution isn't
much good for Belle.
It's always easy to solve
other people's problems be
cause we don't have to take
their emotions and way of
thinking into consideration.
It's so much harder to solve
our own because we can't dis
miss our emotions and pat
terns, nor would it necessar
ily be good if we could.
It is possible, however, to
take a hard look at reality
and make necessary adjust
ments. In this way we expand
and enrich our personalities.
Belle has refused to see her
real situation-that of widow
and mature woman. She has
forced herself into a false po
sition in her son's home and
is suffering because of it. Her
emotions are involved with
her son in a way that can
bring no reasonable return.
The satisfaction of knowing
that her son is having his hot
dinner really can't be enoufth.
Surely, Belle must wonder
what will happen when she is
no longer around to provide
it.
No matter what good she is
doing in her son's home, Belle
is in the way and knows and
feels it. This destroys her bit
by bit. It will be hard to fight
her way out of this pattern,
but she should force herself.
In her community Belie
will find many possibilities
for making herself useful and
enjoying a larger life. She
certainly shouldn't sell her
home, but should consider
renting a portion of it to a
family.
(Copyright I960, General
Features Corp.)
De Gaulle: Nikifa
Won't Cause New
Crisis in Berlin
Washington - IUPD - Charles
de Gaulle said Saturday ht
sees no chance of solving the
Berlin p r o b 1 m at next
month's summit meeting - but
that he does not believe Nl
kita Khrushchev will fore a
new crisis on the issua.
The French president told
a massive news conference at
the National Press club that
the Big Four leaders "above
all" must grapple at Paris
with the "crucial point" of
relaxing general East - West
tensions.
"If we make some progress
in this matter . . , gradually
solutions to the problems that
divide the world will begin
to appear," he said, "solutions
which no one (has) thought of
proposing under the present
circumstances."
Prepares for Talks
The 69 -year -old French
leader, here for pre-summit
talks with President Eisen
hower, said this applied to
disarmament, German prob
lems, aid to underdeveloped
countries and many other
matters.
De Gaulle said he consider
ed it possible "from a practi
cal point of view" to make a
start on control of nuclear
weapons and bases at the
summit meeting in Paris May
14 of himself, Eisenhower,
Khrushchev and British Prime
Minister Harold Macmillan
"As far as Berlin is con
cerned, I do not see now
possible solution," the French
leader declared. "But I envis
age a common control of nu
clear weapons which should
start by the control of planes,
missiles and bases."
More than 300.000 classified
ads were published in U. S,
newspapers last year.- A sur
vey shows that 90 per cent of
the people looking for homes
read the "want" ads of their
daily newspapers. The same
survey reveals that 87 per
cent of these people checked
the classified pages daily.
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