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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 10, 1960)
54 t5& - - V In doing the job of everyday living, is your husband (wife) (a) good in some things while you excel in others? (b) more capable than you? (c) more helpless than you? Since your marriage, have you found your self to be (a) less sure of yourself? ( b ) more sure of yourself? (c) no surer of yourself than before? In solving daily problems, do you think best when (a) nagged or under pressure? (b) separated from others? ( c ) usually in company of others? When you are faced with family problems, do you (a) slant them to make him (her) appear wrong? (b) state the truth even if it is self-critical? (c) jump to conclusions while overlooking the real facts? After a decision is made, do you (a) express resentment? (b) try to upset the decision? (c) stick by it and give credit where due? 14. Who is the leader in your family? (a) wife or husband? (b) wife and husband jointly? (c) vote of entire family? 15. How often does your family give each mem ber a chance to blow off steam? (.a) seldom? (b) occasionally? (c) frequently? 16. Are household chores (a) never expected of your children? (b) occasionally assigned to them? (c) regularly assigned to children and adults on the basis of capacity and the need to accept responsibilities? 17. Is your attitude toward your child's school ing that ( a ) grades are most important? (b) you want him to learn all he can and find out what he can do best? (c) teachers are the experts and the school's program is not your concern? 18. Is your religion presented to your family as (a) a spiritual way of living? (b) principally a form of periodic family get-together (c) a duty or obligation? . 19. . How often does your family get together for trips, movies, recreational activities? (a) frequently? (b) occasionally? (c) seldom? 20. In your community life, does your family ( a ) avoid becoming involved with neighbors? (b) constantly bicker with other families? ( c ) take its share of responsibility by par ticipating in civic affairs? CORRECT ANSWERS: 1 (c) 1 (b) 3 (c) 4(a) 5(c) 6(c) 7(a) 8(b) 9(a) 10(b) 11 (bore) 12(b) 13(c) 14(b) 15(c) 16 (c) 17 (b) . 18 (a) 19 (a) 20(c) How did you come out on the test? Remember, your family-life rating depends more on how acutely worried you are about a specific weakness in your relationships than on the total number of wrong answers. Thus, you may discover only two or three difficulties, perhaps affecting the children; but if your family harmony is seriously broken by them, you should seek outside help. Generally, however, a disagreement on one phase of home life affects another. Therefore, if you had less than five wrong answers and are not seriously concerned about any of them, you're on the right track; your family, about average, likes to live together. You probably have a basic potential for resolving your problems. If you had five to eight wi-ong, it's time to exam ine your relationships more closely to see how you're failing to measure up. The family that comes up with eight or more wrong answers and has trouble in these areas of be havior is seriously disorganized. Its members defi nitely need help. If there is a family -service agency in the community, seek its help. These agencies are equipped not only to handle serious problems after they've erupted but also to help in preventing minor irritations from becoming acute. There are other counseling resources such as ministers, psycholo gists, mental-health clinics, and welfare offices. You should, of course, make every effort your self to correct specific difficulties. You may, for example, realize now that you must go first to your spouse for decisions, not to parents or friends. If you and your mate fall into constant disagree ments without settling them, you should realize that you're probably not facing the true problems. Your wrangles may be a substitute for reality. One couple quarreled continually about where to go on vaca tion but never mentioned that they had only $180 to spend. The problem they wouldn't face was that their income wasn't large enough for the kind of vacation they wanted. To appraise your family life realistically, bear in mind that all families have basic problems and areas of difference. Be prepared for them. In the early years of marriage, the couple has to agree on how to cope with in-laws, what part the husband should take in household tasks, the sharing of inter ests. By the fifth year, husband and wife should know their attitudes toward money, his career, their social standing, disciplining of children, and their short- and long-term future. When they've been married about 15 years,- the couple should decide on a joint attitude toward their adolescent child's dating, smoking, use of lip stick, teen-age rebellion. - , (Continued on page 11) Family Weekly, January 10, 1960 5
