54 t5& - - V
In doing the job of everyday living, is your
husband (wife)
(a) good in some things while you excel
in others?
(b) more capable than you?
(c) more helpless than you?
Since your marriage, have you found your
self to be
(a) less sure of yourself?
( b ) more sure of yourself?
(c) no surer of yourself than before?
In solving daily problems, do you think best
when
(a) nagged or under pressure?
(b) separated from others?
( c ) usually in company of others?
When you are faced with family problems,
do you
(a) slant them to make him (her) appear
wrong?
(b) state the truth even if it is self-critical?
(c) jump to conclusions while overlooking
the real facts?
After a decision is made, do you
(a) express resentment?
(b) try to upset the decision?
(c) stick by it and give credit where due?
14. Who is the leader in your family?
(a) wife or husband?
(b) wife and husband jointly?
(c) vote of entire family?
15. How often does your family give each mem
ber a chance to blow off steam?
(.a) seldom?
(b) occasionally?
(c) frequently?
16. Are household chores
(a) never expected of your children?
(b) occasionally assigned to them?
(c) regularly assigned to children and
adults on the basis of capacity and the
need to accept responsibilities?
17. Is your attitude toward your child's school
ing that
( a ) grades are most important?
(b) you want him to learn all he can and
find out what he can do best?
(c) teachers are the experts and the
school's program is not your concern?
18. Is your religion presented to your family as
(a) a spiritual way of living?
(b) principally a form of periodic family
get-together
(c) a duty or obligation? .
19. . How often does your family get together for
trips, movies, recreational activities?
(a) frequently?
(b) occasionally?
(c) seldom?
20. In your community life, does your family
( a ) avoid becoming involved with
neighbors?
(b) constantly bicker with other families?
( c ) take its share of responsibility by par
ticipating in civic affairs?
CORRECT ANSWERS: 1 (c) 1 (b) 3 (c)
4(a) 5(c) 6(c) 7(a) 8(b) 9(a) 10(b)
11 (bore) 12(b) 13(c) 14(b) 15(c)
16 (c) 17 (b) . 18 (a) 19 (a) 20(c)
How did you come out on the test?
Remember, your family-life rating depends more
on how acutely worried you are about a specific
weakness in your relationships than on the total
number of wrong answers. Thus, you may discover
only two or three difficulties, perhaps affecting the
children; but if your family harmony is seriously
broken by them, you should seek outside help.
Generally, however, a disagreement on one phase
of home life affects another. Therefore, if you had
less than five wrong answers and are not seriously
concerned about any of them, you're on the right
track; your family, about average, likes to live
together. You probably have a basic potential for
resolving your problems.
If you had five to eight wi-ong, it's time to exam
ine your relationships more closely to see how
you're failing to measure up.
The family that comes up with eight or more wrong
answers and has trouble in these areas of be
havior is seriously disorganized. Its members defi
nitely need help. If there is a family -service agency
in the community, seek its help. These agencies are
equipped not only to handle serious problems after
they've erupted but also to help in preventing minor
irritations from becoming acute. There are other
counseling resources such as ministers, psycholo
gists, mental-health clinics, and welfare offices.
You should, of course, make every effort your
self to correct specific difficulties. You may, for
example, realize now that you must go first to your
spouse for decisions, not to parents or friends.
If you and your mate fall into constant disagree
ments without settling them, you should realize that
you're probably not facing the true problems. Your
wrangles may be a substitute for reality. One couple
quarreled continually about where to go on vaca
tion but never mentioned that they had only $180
to spend. The problem they wouldn't face was that
their income wasn't large enough for the kind of
vacation they wanted.
To appraise your family life realistically, bear
in mind that all families have basic problems and
areas of difference. Be prepared for them. In the
early years of marriage, the couple has to agree on
how to cope with in-laws, what part the husband
should take in household tasks, the sharing of inter
ests. By the fifth year, husband and wife should
know their attitudes toward money, his career, their
social standing, disciplining of children, and their
short- and long-term future.
When they've been married about 15 years,- the
couple should decide on a joint attitude toward
their adolescent child's dating, smoking, use of lip
stick, teen-age rebellion. - ,
(Continued on page 11)
Family Weekly, January 10, 1960 5