Medford mail tribune., August 30, 1959, Image 40

"My wife expects me to do her work as
well as my own."
Here's a sore spot with many husbands. A Wis
consin father claimed a deep chasm had been
opened in his marriage because hi." wife expected
him to do much of "the woman's work" around
the home. Don't think this means just doing dishes,
hanging laundry or washing windows. Serious
objections include demands that husbands devote
all their free time to the children ("The minute
I come home," one man complains, "I get the baby
thrust into my arms for the rest of the evening.").;
calling the husband at the office with a long list of
items to bring home; assigning a quota of "week
end chores" to fill his "free" hours.
'.'My wife serves food that's 'good for me,'
never what I enjoy."
A Detroit, Mich., machinist said his marriage
was tottering, because he could no longer stand
eating foods which his wife felt were "healthy."
Her near-fanaticism is common in these days of
health-consciousness.
Another common irritation is cooking large
meals and hovering over hubby until he. finishes
every morsel. "Over-solicitous wives," Dr. Harold
Kenneth Fink, a St. Petersburg, Fla., psychothera-
pist and marriage counselor declares, "who really
love their husbands and think they are doing
what's best for them, may actually be doing harm
instead. Many men simply don't want to be moth
ered. They're perfectly capable of deciding for
themselves when they have had enough to eat."
"My wife talks too much especially when
I'm trying to talk."
This is particularly aggravating when the hus
band is trying to tell a joke and, in the minds of
many men, grounds for divorce when she beats
him to the punch line.
A more serious side of this, however, is the"
wife who criticizes her husband in front of friends,
even if it's in a facetious way. Criticism may be
no more than saying, "George doesn't know which
end of a screwdriver to use," but under certain
circumstances that's all George needs to wish he
had a gag for dear wifey.
In public or private, many wives alienate mates
by stating their opinions too bluntly and too often.
An Illinois marriage consultant tells about the
wife who thought her husband should know about
his faults for his "own good." She was painfully
honest in her own mind in everybody else's, in
cluding her husband's, she was just a nagger, im
proving nobody but creating deep resentments.
Obviously, gossiping falls under this heading.
Gossiping, experts have learned, is a means by
which one human covers up his own faults by
talking about another's. A husband senses this,
and his wife's faults are magnified in his mind
each time she tears down another party.
"When the kids need a lecture or a spank
ing, I always have to be the ogre."
Too many wives, experts assert, make Daddy
the fall guy in child discipline because they're
afraid to tackle the job themselves. "Wait until
Daddy comes home, he'll fix you" is a common
statement in many homes and a common mistake.
If Junior does something which calls for disci
pline, perform the operation yourself at once and
don't pass the buck.
-So there they are, direct from firsthand sources,
10 well-tested ways to loosen the marriage ties. -Avoid
them, however, and you'll not only keep
your man but-be happier-yourself.: - : :
"When it comes to preparing meals my
' wife doesn't know I exist."
No. 1 complaint in this category is that today's
breadwinners must either make their own break
fasts or catch them on the fly at the corner lunch
eonette. A recent survey indicated one-third of
America's husbands eat their morning meal this
way.
"There's no finer way of starting the day
than to have breakfast with your mate," says
Dr. Rebecca Liswood, director of the Marriage
Counseling Service of Greater New York. "Even
if it's only a few minutes, that brief time together
is warming and wonderful."
Preparing meals for their children's palates
rather than their husbands' is another complaint
on this score. "At least let me have my turn,"
comments the father of four girls in Delaware.
And finally another "modern woe" serving
slenderizing meals to husbands who have no rea
son to be on diets. The lady of the house is the
one who wants to lose weight, but everybody suf
fers. "I can't tell you how many times I've slipped
out of the house for a hamburger after one of
her dinners," a wan young husband in Vicksburg,
Miss., bemoans.
"My wife's a 'fusspot.' She keeps our home
like a hospital."
In Cleveland, a young accountant explained to
a psychologist that his marital troubles began
when his wife wouldn't permit him to lounge in
their impeccably kept living room. Marriage ex
perts agree that women who are unwilling to
settle for anything less than an immaculate home
are heading for trouble. Clark W. Blackburn, gen
eral director of the Family Service Association of
America, says: "Sometimes perfectionist wives
virtually rope off living rooms, as in museums,
preventing full enjoyment of the home. A home
should be well-kept but, first and foremost, it
should be lived ins Such a wife makes life un
happy for her husband and children. The chilr
dren can't rebel but the husband can and some
times does."
Family Weekly, Augutt 30, 1SD .. . ,. $