Medford mail tribune., August 30, 1959, Image 39

JVuiliiy WeeJcly August 30, 1959
TEN WAYS
TO LOSE
A HUSBAND
by Lester David with drawing by David Pascal
Maybe these faults
seem petty, but
take heed-they've
ruined more marriages
than "the other woman"
What irritates husbands most about wives,,
often to the point of destroying love?
To find out, I studied the files of marriage
counseling agencies and national pollsters and
interviewed family-relations experts, divorce law
. yers and psychiatrists in many parts of the country.
The answers I got will fascinate every wife and
husband, whether wed 40 days or 40 years!
First, though, a caution:
The experts stressed that every wife, at some
time or another, might find herself doing or saying
several of the things chronicled here. If you do,
don't worry. This is perfectly normal, as harmless
as an occasional husband-wife quarrel. The danger
arises when the trait (like quarreling) becomes
continual.
So here they are the 10 serious marital com
plaints most frequently directed at wives. Taken
another way, they can be considered as 10 sound
and solid rules on how to keep a marriage from
drifting toward perilous reefs.
"My wife thinks she's a femme fatala,
always flirting."
To some wives, particularly insecure ones, this
comes as naturally as talking. Generally, they
mean nothing by it, but they've been doing it
since childhood and find it a hard habit to break.
Whatever the reason, it bothers husbands. One
father of two growing children told a Baltimore
marriage counselor: "I can't get her to stop mak
..ing eyes -at other men. I'm pretty sure she's not
serious, but being 'pretty sure' isn't enough. We
fight constantly about it."
"My wife wants too much too much
money and too much of me."
Excessive demands by wives usually center
around money. In Florida, a 30-year-old teacher
was living apart from his wife. "She insisted I go
into business to increase our income," he told an
attorney, "but I wanted to teach school." Women
who consider material success above all else and
goad their men toward the dollar sign may lose
out in all directions, including marriage.
Another facet of this problem is to engage in
office politics to "help" a husband's career. One
wife in Texas tried to make cronies out of wives
of her husband's superiors in a campaign for him
to "get ahead." He so deeply resented her inter
ference that a domestic battle resulted and his
work suffered.
Probably even more ego-shattering is the wife
who compares her husband with men more suc
cessful, thinking she will prod him into greater
efforts. That can hardly make him more confident
of his abilities, and confidence is probably what he
-needs most.
Along different lines are these wifely demands:
the wife who wants to hear "all about" hubby's
day when he wants only to forget it; the lively
lady who wants to go out after he's had a weary
ing day; the one who greets her husband with a
litany of her daily troubles with the neighbors
and children.
"My wife makes plans for parties and out
ings and tells everybody but me."
Husbands will go to parties even if they don't
care much for the other guests. They'll go on a
picnic even if they loathe ants and potato salad.
But they do expect to be consulted and given the
choice of occasionally doing what they want. A
surprising number of wives don't seem to under
stand that what they enjoy may be a crushing
bore to their mates.
"My wife's a sloppy housekeeper. Home's
like a flop house."
This is the sort of recurring complaint that has
prompted some tangy comments. Note from an
Ohio marriage-counselor's casebook: "A machin
ist quarreled bitterly with his wife because she
had decided to make things easier for herself by
making the beds every other day instead of daily.
Dr. Blackburn points out that a husband's patience,
as well as his love, can be severely strained if he
constantly comes home to a messy house, trips
over the toys as he enters and finds the breakfast
dishes still in the sink.
4
Family Weekly, August 30, 1959