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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 16, 1959)
27ie raagc o making people like "IS You've arrived at a party. You're just about to enter a room bubbling with conversation. It's a moment we all know. A moment of truth for everyone. At this moment we are about to be put on show. And we have nothing else to de pend on except first impressions. Here is rule No. 1 for making a good first im pression. It is simply this: Don't wait to be intro duced smile. An insincere grin won't fool anybody. But a smile which announces: "I like you. I feel hap pier for seeing you" can be like the sun breaking through a cloud. Try a smile now while you're reading this. You don't feel like smiling? Perhaps you don't realize the immense importance of a smile. Maurice Chevalier rose to success by a smile which the world found irresistible. It seemed to say: "I'm going to enjoy entertaining you as much as you'll enjoy being entertained." At the age of 71 he's still using his smile to charm audiences. It isn't what you have or who you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. Franklin Bettger, one of the most successful in surance men in America, knew the true value of a smile in business. Before entering a client's office, he paused, thought of all the things he had to be thankful for and worked up an honest-to-goodness smile. Then he entered the office with the smile just fading from his face. But let's get back to that party. You're meeting someone for the first time a stranger. You want to make friends with him, right? Begin with a greeting which really shows you're glad to meet. Then proceed on the firm assumption that peo ple generally are interested in themselves, not you. The New York Telephone Co. once made a survey of 500 telephone conversations. They wanted to find the most-used word. You've guessed it it was the word "I." Believe it or not, the word "I" was used 3,999 times in 500 conversations. So if you really want folks to like you, rule No. 2 is: Be genuinely interested in other people. This rule, you will find, has a happy boomerang effect. People will become interested in you if you are interested in them. Sounds almost too simple, doesn't it? And mil lions ignore it every day of their lives. by Mrs. Dale Carnegie Dale Carnegie helped thousands of persons achieve happier, more successful lives through his books, especially "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Since his death, his wife has carried on his work. Yet listen to what world-famous psychologist Alfred Adler had to say on the subject: "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring." When Sophie Tucker arrived in London a while back she was asked the secret of her success as an international star. Miss Tucker replied: "How did. I gain success? Well, you gotta use your brains of course, but, darlin', most of all you gotta love people.'" Ask the French why they refer to Queen Eliza beth II of Great Britain as "The Queen." Might it not have something to do with the fact that when she went to Paris she took considerable pains to speak French to the people of France? Of course it has. Whether you're on a Royal tour, in a grocer's shop or by your own fireside, sincere interest in others will mean you have the world with you. Without that interest you must walk alone. All right then. You've been introduced at this party. But did you catch the name of the first stranger you met? Rule No. 3 will tell you: Remember that a man's (or woman's) name is to him or her the most im portant sound in any language. Franklin D. Roosevelt knew the importance of a man's name. When a specially designed car was delivered to the White House, the President noticed a shy mechanic who'd come along in case anything had to be explained in detail. The President heard his name once as the mechanic was being introduced to him. The dem onstration proceeded. Before the party left the White House grounds, Roosevelt made a point of bidding the mechanic good-bye by name. How do you remember a name? Use it a few times in the opening stages of a conversation. You'll find it will stick. Your smile, your genuine interest in the other person and your use of names will have already given you a flying start at the party. But this is only the beginning. Rule No. 4 is: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. It is the listeners of this world who are popu lar, not the talkers. If the world seems too rosy, too easy; if you're suddenly the big shot and you find you want to talk and talk and not listen; if you find everybody else is boring you take stock of yourself. Few people can speak boringly on a subject on which they are expert. One of the biggest bores I ever came across was an astronomer. When first meeting people, he would speak volubly of his family troubles and his health (a fatal question was, "How are you?"). He would then get on to the subject of his car and his house. I made a habit of leading him on to astronomy. Then he could fascinate me for hours! The way to a man's heart is to talk to him and let him talk to you about the thing he treasures most. It takes a little trouble but it pays in busi ness as well as in social life. In your dealings with people, rule No. 5 is as important as the others: Talk in terms of the other man's interests. There is one all-important law in human con duct that can do more than make us popular at a social gathering. It can win us endless happiness and countless friends. Dale, my husband, knew the truth of this law above all others. It is rule No. 6: Make the other person feel important. Nobody wants cheap flattery. But for centuries, philosophers have agreed that recognition of our true worth is a fundamental desire in all of us. , Emerson put it this way: "Every man I meet is in some' way my superior; and in that I can learn from him." How do we begin to apply this magic touch stone of appreciation of others? Why not start right now? Right at home. Today. How long is it since you admired your wife's (or your husband's) good points? Disraeli said, "Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours." Go to it, then. Try out these rules today and watch the magic begin to work in your life and those of the people around you. kifeioaaiiaaM COVER: The lucky driver in Arnold Kohn's cover painting might be any one of the am bitious youngsters who will be racing in today's 25th All-American Soap Box Derby (see story on page 4). LEONARD $. DAVIDOW President and I'MMer WALTER C. DREYFUS Vict-Prnidtnt PATRICK E. O'ROURKE Advertinng Director r- ,i w LiS,n.d..,ll .dT,;,li'B communicatlont to Family Weakly, 153 N. Michigan Avt., Chicago I, III. Addr.it all communication about editorial Uatum la Family Wookly, 40 E. Mth St., N.w York 22, N Y. Augutt It, IK Board of Editors ERNEST V. HEYN Editor-in-Chief UN KARTMAN Kxecutive Editor ROBERT FITZOIBBON Managing Kdtlor RALPH J. FINCH, JR. Art Director MEIANIE DE PROFT Food Editor Bob Drlicoll, Irma H.ldman, Jorry Kloln, Harold London, Jack Ryani Poor ODDonhoinwr. Hollywood. 195, FAMILY WEEKLY MAGAZINE, INC., 151 N. Michigan Ay.., Chicago 1. III. All right. r.r.d.
