27ie raagc o making people like
"IS
You've arrived at a party. You're just about to
enter a room bubbling with conversation.
It's a moment we all know. A moment of truth
for everyone. At this moment we are about to be
put on show. And we have nothing else to de
pend on except first impressions.
Here is rule No. 1 for making a good first im
pression. It is simply this: Don't wait to be intro
duced smile.
An insincere grin won't fool anybody. But a
smile which announces: "I like you. I feel hap
pier for seeing you" can be like the sun breaking
through a cloud.
Try a smile now while you're reading this.
You don't feel like smiling? Perhaps you don't
realize the immense importance of a smile.
Maurice Chevalier rose to success by a smile
which the world found irresistible. It seemed to
say: "I'm going to enjoy entertaining you as much
as you'll enjoy being entertained." At the age of
71 he's still using his smile to charm audiences.
It isn't what you have or who you are or what
you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about it.
Franklin Bettger, one of the most successful in
surance men in America, knew the true value of
a smile in business. Before entering a client's
office, he paused, thought of all the things he had
to be thankful for and worked up an honest-to-goodness
smile. Then he entered the office with
the smile just fading from his face.
But let's get back to that party. You're meeting
someone for the first time a stranger. You want
to make friends with him, right? Begin with a
greeting which really shows you're glad to meet.
Then proceed on the firm assumption that peo
ple generally are interested in themselves, not
you. The New York Telephone Co. once made a
survey of 500 telephone conversations. They wanted
to find the most-used word. You've guessed it
it was the word "I." Believe it or not, the word
"I" was used 3,999 times in 500 conversations.
So if you really want folks to like you, rule
No. 2 is: Be genuinely interested in other people.
This rule, you will find, has a happy boomerang
effect. People will become interested in you if you
are interested in them.
Sounds almost too simple, doesn't it? And mil
lions ignore it every day of their lives.
by Mrs. Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie helped thousands of persons
achieve happier, more successful lives through
his books, especially "How to Win Friends and
Influence People." Since his death, his wife
has carried on his work.
Yet listen to what world-famous psychologist
Alfred Adler had to say on the subject: "It is
the individual who is not interested in his fellow
men who has the greatest difficulties in life and
provides the greatest injury to others. It is from
among such individuals that all human failures
spring."
When Sophie Tucker arrived in London a while
back she was asked the secret of her success as
an international star. Miss Tucker replied: "How
did. I gain success? Well, you gotta use your
brains of course, but, darlin', most of all you
gotta love people.'"
Ask the French why they refer to Queen Eliza
beth II of Great Britain as "The Queen." Might
it not have something to do with the fact that
when she went to Paris she took considerable
pains to speak French to the people of France?
Of course it has.
Whether you're on a Royal tour, in a grocer's
shop or by your own fireside, sincere interest in
others will mean you have the world with you.
Without that interest you must walk alone.
All right then. You've been introduced at this
party. But did you catch the name of the first
stranger you met?
Rule No. 3 will tell you: Remember that a man's
(or woman's) name is to him or her the most im
portant sound in any language.
Franklin D. Roosevelt knew the importance of
a man's name. When a specially designed car was
delivered to the White House, the President
noticed a shy mechanic who'd come along in case
anything had to be explained in detail.
The President heard his name once as the
mechanic was being introduced to him. The dem
onstration proceeded. Before the party left the
White House grounds, Roosevelt made a point
of bidding the mechanic good-bye by name.
How do you remember a name? Use it a few
times in the opening stages of a conversation.
You'll find it will stick.
Your smile, your genuine interest in the other
person and your use of names will have already
given you a flying start at the party. But this
is only the beginning.
Rule No. 4 is: Be a good listener. Encourage
others to talk about themselves.
It is the listeners of this world who are popu
lar, not the talkers. If the world seems too rosy,
too easy; if you're suddenly the big shot and you
find you want to talk and talk and not listen; if
you find everybody else is boring you take stock
of yourself.
Few people can speak boringly on a subject on
which they are expert. One of the biggest bores
I ever came across was an astronomer. When first
meeting people, he would speak volubly of his
family troubles and his health (a fatal question
was, "How are you?"). He would then get on to
the subject of his car and his house. I made a
habit of leading him on to astronomy. Then he
could fascinate me for hours!
The way to a man's heart is to talk to him and let
him talk to you about the thing he treasures
most. It takes a little trouble but it pays in busi
ness as well as in social life. In your dealings
with people, rule No. 5 is as important as the
others: Talk in terms of the other man's interests.
There is one all-important law in human con
duct that can do more than make us popular at a
social gathering. It can win us endless happiness
and countless friends. Dale, my husband, knew
the truth of this law above all others. It is rule
No. 6: Make the other person feel important.
Nobody wants cheap flattery. But for centuries,
philosophers have agreed that recognition of our
true worth is a fundamental desire in all of us.
, Emerson put it this way: "Every man I meet is in
some' way my superior; and in that I can learn
from him."
How do we begin to apply this magic touch
stone of appreciation of others? Why not start
right now? Right at home. Today. How long is it
since you admired your wife's (or your husband's)
good points?
Disraeli said, "Talk to a man about himself and
he will listen for hours."
Go to it, then. Try out these rules today and
watch the magic begin to work in your life and
those of the people around you.
kifeioaaiiaaM
COVER: The lucky driver in Arnold Kohn's cover
painting might be any one of the am
bitious youngsters who will be racing in
today's 25th All-American Soap Box Derby
(see story on page 4).
LEONARD $. DAVIDOW President and I'MMer
WALTER C. DREYFUS Vict-Prnidtnt
PATRICK E. O'ROURKE Advertinng Director
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