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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (June 28, 1959)
PERIODIC :! PAIN v-V W ciijijidn. I Have a Healthy Imagination can still touch the floor - Without bending my knees;, I can do 20 push-ups With nary a wheeze. I can chin myself, using ' ' Not two hands but one, And running jour miles Is my concept of fun. And to what do I credit This middle-age youth? I just keep in condition By stretching the truth! Francis O. Walsh Something Long Needed I like the new, long greeting card; I don't care if it's not wider. It's a perfect fit for my friends' names Like Lengenfeldt and Kleinenschneider. Avis B. Rigg fig vitu4$ go starting to roll the lawn!" "No I thought he was a friend of yours!" A World War II veteran had dutifully kept active status in the National Guard and each Summer went on its two-week maneuvers This time out, however, there was a young officer in charge, deter mined to show his authority. At the first inspection, he scrutinized the veteran's rifle and came up with a speck of dust. "A man of your service should know better!" he snapped. "You are an old soldier and should set an example lor the younger men. By the way, what was your last infraction?" "Having a dirty bow and arrow, sir," the vet replied. Charlotte Hainey The husband who complains loudest about the number of checks his wife writes is the same guy who, when single, didn't have enough money to open a bank account. ' John Shotwell Home Groan It sounds odd, but I'm trying to develop an exotic blight in my rose bushes. Preferably one that causes the flowers to drop off the stern with a low, whimpering sound. My trouble, you see, is that my roses are healthy, untouched by alien disease and, worse, by neighbor interest. My neighbors are the morbid kind who gather in one another's yards to discuss the latest maladies of their flora. Ralph, for instance. He came up with a glorious case of thrips on his dahlias, and evening after evening entertained the neighborhood by discussing possible remedies. From that vigil, the neighbors walked down to Ed's gar den to lament over his crippled chard. Ed's wife brought out the coffee cups, and all had a grand time until some spoilsport (me) called the county agriculture agent. He pinned it down to the simple tarnished plant bug and prescribed a sure-cure spray. The envy of our block, though, is Charley. He has moles. One after another his bulb plants vanish, and long, random ridges run through his lawn. "How are the moles?" people call as they pass Charley. And Charley replies, "Runnin' wild. Come over and take a look!" All I've been able to do is to have a fair case of mildew on my zinnias. I called the neighbors in. "Mildew!" I chortled. "Yes," said Ralph. "What's new with Charley's moles?" Anyone know where I can buy a small, trained swarm of Egyptian locusts? Dick Emmons Family Weekly, June il. 1959 Menstruation is natural and neces sary but menstrual suffering is not. iiicr laKB a Ni nn fan ar Maru anrt go your way in comfort. Midol brings w A faster relief from menstrual pain aK I it relieve rramne uut heaHarha 1 and chases the "blues." m WITH EAT ANYTHING WITH FALSE TEETH ! SI TMM Trouble with loose plates that slip, rock or cause sore gums ? Try Brimms Plasti-Liner. One application makes plates fit tangly irilbout powder, paste or cushions. Brimms Plasti-Liner adheres permanently to your plate; ends the bother of temporary appli cations. With plates held firmly by Plasti Liner. YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING I Sim ply lay soft strip of Plasti-Liner on trouble some upper or lower. Bite and it molds perfectly. Easy to use. tasteless, odorless, harmless to you, and your plates. Remov able as directed. Money-back guarantee. At your drug counter. SI. 50 reliner for one plate; S2.50, two plates. Plasti-Liner, Inc., Dept. FA-94, 107) Main St., Buffalo 9, N.Y. Your Foot! . Fast Relief From Sore, Hot, A f "l..t WW a A iireo, rerspinngreei , Wonder-working Dr. Scholl's Foot Powder does all this and more. Eases new or tight shoes. . . lessens exces sive perspiration . . . helps eliminate foot odor, pre vent Athlete s root. 15 40 and 75. Try itt in i -'BONOS Now STTP SKS. Don't pick, scratch, squeeze or merely "cover them up" Doctors know that acne or pimples are caused by the germ called the acne bacillus. These germs invade overactive oil glands in the skin, cause blackheads and pus pockets; then your skin "breaks out." What's needed is (1) to dry up the excessive oil that collects on skin; (2) to destroy acne germs on the skin, and (3) to stop itching and irritation so pimples can heal. A doctor's formula, liquid Zemo has this effective 3-way action; also keeps skin looking cleaner! Get liquid Zemo, Ointment, too. In regular and extra strength. To save buy the large sizes of Zemo.
