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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (June 21, 1959)
In this remarkable true story, a parent describes the painful process by which he discovered the motives behind his boy's misbehavior. Our family was camped in a national forest a few years ago. I had broiled steaks over an open fire and we were seated at the table. Turning to my youngest son I said, "Please get the salt. It's over on the fireplace." "Why me?" he asked. "Why do I always have to be the one to get things?" Controlling my voice I said, "You're not always the one. We all do our share, son, and you're expected to do yours." I could see a cloud of dissent passing over his face. But I knew he couldn't produce a reasonable argument. "Get it, please," I said patiently. "I'm always the one," he growled. My voice rose. "I'm waiting, son." He dragged himself to his feet, got the salt, slammed it down on the table, and slumped into his camp chair. "Look at me, son!" I shouted. He turned his head away, but still I could see his lips puffed out in an all-too-usual pout. "I want to leave the table," he said. "May I leave the table, please.'" He said nothing. , I'd had it. I stood up and grabbed him by the arm with intentional firmness. I'll never forget the look of terror in his eyes as I yanked him away. "No! No!" he screamed, causing other campers to glance at us." Don't! Please don't!" His unmanly pleas coupled with the mem ory of his insolence were gasoline to my sparking anger. I swung him around and gave him a whack with my open hand that must have stung like a hatful of wasps. In a storm of wild wailing, he hid himself. Campers stared at me. What had I done? Only my duty toward my son. Yet I felt accused. Accused of the crime of teaching my child discipline! I quieted down enough to hear him sobbing disconsolately. Surely he would behave now. I began to soften. Speaking kindly, I said, "Come on back to the table, son." Red-eyed, he slowly came and sat on the edge of his chair. I spoke with a prayerful effort to penetrate his understanding. "Son, the only reason I discipline you is for your own good. You'll be disliked and miserable all your life unless you learn a little respect." The corners of his lips turned down in a disdainful sneer. Insolently he sniffed. "Leave the table immediately!" He did. Soon after I also left the table to walk in the woods and think. Think! My inability to get through to my child galled and perplexed me for many reasons. For one thing, I felt that what was true in business or the mili tary was true in the home: if things aren't right, it's the commanding officer's fault. Yet I considered myself an expert in disci pline. I knew there could be no such thing as military organization without strict and unquestioning obedience. I'd known people who died because orders were disobeyed. In the same way I knew that peaceful society depends on a decent respect for one's fellow men. Delinquency, crime, and social decay are the wages of disrespect. Well, this father, at least, was doing his best, I thought. Yet I had on my hands a ' potential delinquent. The vacation was ruined. We returned home. Day by day my dilemma grew into a nightmare of defiance and punishment. Rea son and firmness on my part brought out (Continued on page 18) Lisferine stops badbteath 4timesbettet ihan toothpaste Tooth paste is for your teeth Listerine is for your breath. Germ? in the mouth cause most bad breath, and you need an antiseptic to kill germs. Always reach for Listerine after you brush your teeth. No tooth paste is antiseptic, so no tooth paste kills germs the way Listerine Antisep tic does ... on contact, by millions. Listerine stops bad breath four times better than toothpaste noth ing stops bad breath as effectively as the Listerine way. , . your No. 1 protection against bad breath ioto OrmUtmt rage : UPI. Pso;e 10: Ray Solowlmkl. 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