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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 1958)
FOR THE 3 DON'T KEEP BOOK ON HIM. Too many wives look upon marriage as a balance sheet to be tabulated monthly and adjusted as necessary. Thus, if the record shows the husband attended two baseball games, one poker party, and selected most of the tele vision shows the family watched, the balance-sheet wife will insist on an equal number of nights where she dictates the entertainment. This attitude is all the more insidious because it often skulks under the guise of "fair play" or "50-50 equality." Marriage just doesn't work this way at least not among mature adults. There must be give-and-take in marriage, but the emphasis should always be on the "give." The wife who throws out the balance sheet and en courages her husband to do the things he enjoys because she wants him to be happy will find that he will be anxious and willing to do the things she enjoys, too and for the same reason. DON'T SECOND-GUESS HIM. Fam ily life is fraught with decisions, and even though these should be discussed at length, someone eventually has to make an unequivocal choice. This usually and correctly falls to the husband; but it places him in a peculiarly vulnerable position to be second-guessed. The wise wife will avoid this bait. Some friends of ours who have been married for 15 years bought a house last Summer. They debated for several months between a smaller new house and an old, rambling residence. The wife kept weighing the advantages of each and couldn't make up her mind. The husband, finally forced to make the decision, bought the older house. Since they moved in, they have en countered costly heating and plumbing problems, and the wife has made life very uncomfortable" for her husband. Repeatedly she says: "I told you we shouldn't have bought this place, but you insisted. Now we're stuck with it." He is irritated and resentful as only someone who is second-guessed can be. It's a poor policy any time, but especially bad in marriage. S DON'T COMMIT HIM IN FRONT OF OTHERS. Chatting with a group of people after a PTA meeting, I heard one of the school officials ex press chagrin that they couldn't find a parent willing to put up some decora tions for a forthcoming school program. Quickly one of the wives in the group said: "Don't you worry about a thing. My Henry will be happy to do it." Her Henry, an accomplished archi tect, was standing nearby, and I saw him flinch when she said it. But it was too late for him to back out. There were a number of -reasons why Henry had neither the time nor the inclination to do the job. But he did it all the while reflecting on the thoughtlessness of his wife. Don't loan out your hus band's services as if he were a house hold appliance. Talk it over with him and probably he'll cooperate gladly. 6DONT DISCUSS PRIVATE FAMILY MATTERS IN PUBLIC. We once knew a woman whose husband didn't want children. The wife was terribly distressed about this, and would bring up the subject whenever they were in a social gathering. Ap parently she thought that the pressure of opinion would bring him around. Of course, it had just the opposite effect Family grievances should not be aired in public. Humiliating your husband in front of others never helps settle a private disagreement. DON'T BARTER YOUR AFFECTIONS. A woman has one constant and powerful weapon to hold over her husband her affections. She shouldn't tie strings on them or barter them in return for some concession from her husband. This is the most blatant and probably the most common type of husband exploitation. Both husband and wife should give freely of their love because each of them wants to give and for no other reason. History is full of examples of men debasing themselves in return for the affections of a woman. This is hardly a sound foundation on which to build a stable and happy marriage. The wife who gives of herself because she wants to will find her husband replying in kind. The dividends from such a rela tionship are limitless and wonderful for everyone concerned. ra fhe& KLEENEX TISSUES with your purchase of VlCKS Medi-Mist NASAL SPRAY Opens stuffy nose fast:.. You breathe easy for hours! Why put up with that clogged up, stuffy nose feeling of head colds. Get acquainted with new Vicks Medi-Mist Nasal Spray- just two quick squeezes your nose opens your head clears. Checks sniffles and sneezes. Antibiotic, too... helps fight in fection. So today make friends with new Vicks Medi-Mist Nasal Spray. You'll like it! -or WdDMEN 0VE1 410 After 40, the pace of modern living the worry and tension begins to tell on meet of us. Often this leads to improper diet and irregularity due to lack of bulk. If this is your trouble, you can get safe, effective relief with just a daily half-cup of Kellogg's All-Bran with milk. Delicious All-Bran gets at irregularity from lack of bulk the natural way . . . without resorting to habit-forming laxative drugs. Gives you important nutritional benefits, too. Try it 10 days and get that regular feeling again. Kellogg's All-Bran with milk. ALL-BRAN Shrinks Hemorrhoids New Way Without Surgery Science Finds Healing Substance That Relieves Pain Shrinks Hemorrhoids For the first time science has found a new healing substance with tin astonishing ability to shrink hemor rhoids and to relieve pain without surgery. In case after case, while gently relieving; pain, actual reduction (shrinkage) took place. Most amazing of all results were so thorough that sufferers made astonishing statements like "Piles have ceased to be a problem!" The secret is a new healing sub stance (Bio-Dyne) discovery of a world-famous research institute. This substance is now available in tuppotitory or ointment form under the name of Preparation . 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