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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (July 11, 1956)
V WINNING NATIONAL TITLE in Veterans of Foreign Wars tenth annual marble tournament at Tallahassee, Fla , Richard Austin. Los Alamitos, Calif., gets royal salute Irom Queen Helen Kelly. (International Soundphoto) Is That So? Here's another helping of boners, whoppers, definitions, questions-and-answers submitted by readers of this column. A city boy was asked by his teacher to write on the subject "geese." This is his answer: "Geese is a low, heavy set bird which is mostly meat and feath ers. His head sits on one side and he sits on the other. Geese can't sing much on account of T-tS-Se dampness of the moisture. He ain't got no between-the-toes and he's got a little balloon in his stommick to keep him from sink ing. "Some geese when they get big has curls on their tails and is called ganders. Ganders don't haff to sit and hatch but just eat and loaf and go swimming. If I was a goose I'd rather be a gan der." A label on a fishbox received in a Utah express office read: "If not delivered in 10 days . . . never mind." Arizona teacher: "Where does the house fly go in winter?" Student: "It flies south." An Alberta newspaper: "The blast started a fire which touch ed off a profane gas explosion." ; Oregon teacher: "Now class, can you tell me what a wind mill is for?' Up went a battery of frantical ly waving hands. Teacher: "Yes Tommy, you tell us." Tommy: "It is to fan the cows and to keep them cool. ; Sign on a Montana farm: "We shoot every third salesman. The ; second just left An Oakland, Calif., furniture store has this huge' sign on its corner front reading: "Please give us more business or this corner will be a 19-cent ham burger joint." Horse Laid This One At a Tacoma, Wash., playfield, a small boy rode up on a horse, dismounted, and the horse grazed while all the children crowded around to admire. Two little boys stood aside while one remarked that he had seen the same boy ride another horse the day before. The second boy: 'This horse is the other horse's . . ." (He stop ped, not knowing how to finish the sentence because 'baby' would not fit, and then started with the other horse . . . "The other horse is this horse's . . ." and again he was stymied, know ing that 'mother' could not be right. Then he solved the dilem ma: "The other horse laid this one. . ." Johnny, whose father was a A Nkhol's Worth of . . . Comment On This and That By HARMAN W. NICHOLS United Press Feature Writer Washington (U.R) Human ity likely will have achin' backs until push buttons produce jellified spines. That may take a million years, and even then man's worries will not be over. His care then may be finger bunions Barman Mcnols caused by pushing buttons. Seriously, the hurting up and down the spine mostly is man's own fault. The Northwestern National Life Insurance company, which polled orthopedic doctors on the subject, says these fellows report that half their patients hurt somewhere along the spine. By far, the medicos say, the num ber one cause is posture. Too many people are sitting, sleep ing, working, lifting, and driv ing the wrong way. As one doctor put it: "The posture habits of most Americans is pretty awful." This expert on what ails our rear column thinks it would be fine if we would start with the young. If taught the correct pos ture early, he said, "it would save a lot of misery in later life." Most back troubles occur in people over 40, he said. The medical men describe the spine as "a pretty weak piece of engineering ... a makeshift adaption forced by the odd hu man habit of running around cn two feet instead of on all fours." They add that to hold the trunk upright, the spine has to form an "S-curve, which even a freshman engineering student will tell you is a pretty weak setup." So here, from the doctors who know their spines, are some sug gestions for standing up straight, sitting down correctly and the iike to make for more comfort able living: When you stand, lift the chest and pull the belly in it re duces that vulnerable swayback. Sit the same way, with the lower back against the back of the chair. Perching on a foot can cause a lot of misery. Don't sleep on your tummy. Indianapolis U.R) The "base ball look'' is inconsistent with the dignity of the police force here, according to Chief Frank A. Mueller. Mueller used these words in blasting the recent practice among patrolmen of cut ting off their new summer shirts from elbow length sleeves to very short or no sleeves. Patrol men were ordered to buy new shirts if they are not able to find a way to replace the missing sleeves. On your side, instead, with knees bent, or on your back, with a small pillow under the knees. Too soft or sagging beds are enemies of the backbones; a firm mattress is recommend ed, laid on a board or a solid box spring. When you lift, let the knees do most of the work. Keep the back as upright as possible. Check your automobile seat. If it tends to "jackknife" you, it doesn't do your back any good. Ed: I once had a midget car which brought me down with a horrible pain in the rear. First thing the doc asked me was what kind of car I had. I took him around the block and he said the seat was slanted wrong. It was corrected and I straight ened up and drove right. Slept pretty good, too. Still do, in fact. Wednesday, July 1L 1956 MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE THREE Italians Plan To Change Riding Habits of Americans New York (U.PJ Two Italian manufacturers have invaded the United States with a deluxe line of motor scooters and plan to change the ridirfg habits of mil lions of families. Their chances of success are good enough, they figure, to make a substantial investment very worthwhile. One of the manufacturers, Pi aggio & Co. of Genoa, is already selling 500 of Its motor scooters a week in the United States. The other producer, Innocenti, is not far behind in sales. Fertile Market The two companies claim they have a fertile ' market here among suburbanites, farmers, housewives and the 30,000,000 families who own one car and could use another but can't af ford it. Motor scooters, they point out, sell for about $400, have a top speed of 50 miles an hour and travel more than 100 miles on a single gallon of fuel. In Europe, where gasoline is expensive and transportation dif ficult, motor scooters have been a huge success. They are com monly used by doctors, clergy men, office and factory workers for store deliveries and even for family outings. Businessmen Show Interest Recently American business men have begun to show practi cal interest in them. A steel com pany president, on first seeing them in Rome, ordered several three wheeled models for his Pennsylvania plant. He says they cut costs considerably by releasing larger trucks from the smaller tasks of plant delivery. In India, as part of a govern ment program to eliminate hu man rickshaw runners, scooters with a station wagon attachment are becoming widely used. FREAK ACCIDENT Orient, S.D. (U.R)' Mrs. Dave Mord was watching her son pilot his small plane when he flew under a wire upon landing and accidentally struck and snapped another. The severed wire struck Mrs. Mord on the neck and dis rupted power and telephone service for two hours. She suf fered minor injuries. The 300-boat Great Lakes ore fleet carried 87,460,000 tons of iron ore south from the Minnesota-Wisconsin fields in 1955., Dead line Sunday Classified Is at noon Saturday. 10 am Monday for Monday: other days 5 SO previous day. PIP So smooth it leaves you breathless mirnoff 0 Proof. Dlst. from grain. Ste Pierre mI- Fit. (Olv. of HtufeMai Hsmord. S! U.SA By EUGENE BURNS Ranger-Naturalist painter, was asked by his Van couver teacher to pronounce the word: "L-a-c-q-u-e-r." Trying to help him, his teacher prompted: "It's something your father uses, Johnny." "Oh, I know," said Johnny, brightening; "Liquor." Overheard: A customer had waited 15 minutes for the fish he had ordered. At last the wait- rpss annparpH "Ynur fich will be here in five minutes," she promised. Another quarter hour passed and then the customer waved to the waiter and de manded: "Say, hadn't you better change your bait?" An Oakland, Calif., grand mother reports this definition from her grandchild. She wrote: "When driving up Trestle Glen, I remarked that the trees still looked beautiful even though the leaves were falling. Up piped a little voice: 'But grandma, don't you know they are undressing?" Award Winner Finally (and this one wins the weekly award of the 30-volume set of the Encyclopedia Ameri cana): The Yellowstone Park com pany hires bus drivers who fre quently have to answer ques tions. When the bus stopped at the Paint Pots, a bubbling, steaming hot mud cauldron of a bluish-gray color, a tourist asked: "Driver, does this ever freeze over?" Driver: "Yes ma'am. In fact last winter it froze over and a lady was skating on it and fell through and scalded her leg something fierce." (To the reader sending in the biggest outdoor whopper will go a 30-volume set of the Encyclo pedia Americana. And any out doorsmen come by their truth stretching naturally.) Copyright, 1956, by Eugene Burns) (Release by McClure News . paper Syndicate) Free: By special arrangement with the editors of the Encyclo rjedia Americana, mv nanel of 1 ! i rl n nc n,il1 -1 11 "j T-r-J an fVi ll.'Cin tn ! the reader who sends me the best true-life nature adventure, the best nature observation, or the best question on nature and wild life, a complete 30-volume set of this world famous reference work in a handsome Sealcraft binding. Each week new submis sions will be considered. Sorry, I simply can't answer your many friendly, letters. Please address your letter to: Is That So! care Medford Mail Tribune, Box 575, Sausalito, Calif. NO. PEEWEES Valparaiso, Ind. (U.R) Some thoughtless adults decided to call a league of young players in the first four grades of elementary schools here the Valparaiso Parks Peewee Softball League. But the youngsters objected to being called Peewees, so they changed the name to the Grade School league. 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